By The Firelight
by WhiskeyLips
Summary: Deacon and Rayna are getting back together and that's just going to make real life so much more complicated. Bristen story. AU
1. Chapter 1

_I've been reading some of the Bristen stories and got kind of excited about the whole idea of that. So here's my contribution. I'm starting with a rendezvous at the cabin during filming and then will go back to outline how their relationship developed over time. Not a story so much as a series of episodes, if you will. I'll make the same disclaimer as others – this is complete fiction and fantasy, but if it bugs you, don't read it._

* * *

It would be a late night shoot, the second half, basically, of the reuniting of Deacon and Rayna. Then early the next day they would film the episode's opening scenes. It wasn't supposed to be that way but weather had caused the reshuffling. Always a hazard with outdoor scenes.

He had whispered in her ear, earlier that day, that he would get a hotel room and she gave him that smile – the one he loved – which told him she would take care of things on her end. They had filmed an out of sequence scene with the Stella sisters earlier in the afternoon and would be leaving soon to head to the river house that doubled as Deacon's cabin.

She found him in Deacon's house set, reading over his lines. "Hey," she said, walking over and sitting down next to him. She bumped her shoulder against his.

He smiled. "Hey."

She gave him a coy look. "Took care of everything," she said, her voice low, even though no one else was around. She crossed her arms over her waist and the smile faded. "You sure it's not gonna be a problem?"

He shook his head. "It's a late night. We start early in the morning. It makes perfect sense." He gave her a half smile. "And I've done it before, as you know."

She nodded. "Yeah, I know." She looked at him and he thought that even with only a small amount of makeup on, she was stunning. He'd never known anyone quite like her before. She was beautiful and funny and smart. They had a very complicated relationship, one that rivaled the complexities of the relationship of the characters they played. As though she knew what he was thinking, she looked around the living room set and then back at him, frowning. "Do you think Rayna's ever going to come back here with Deacon?" she asked.

He sat back and looked around, then back at her, shaking his head. "Nah. She's all tied up in her big house." He smirked. "You know, that big, fancy celebrity country music star house. Poor Deacon's gonna be over there looking all out of place in his jeans and flannel shirts."

She laughed then. "Yeah, I think you're right. But that house does need some dressing down, I think. It's too snooty, in my opinion."

"But there _is_ the cabin."

She nodded. "There _is_ the cabin." She rearranged herself on the couch so that she was facing toward him. "So it's gonna be intense tonight, I think. We've got that love scene." She put her hand on his leg. "You think you can do it without getting all, you know, flustered?" She grinned.

He wanted to lean over and kiss her, but he didn't dare do that on set. They were never completely alone. Crew could be anywhere and walk in at any time. He laughed instead. "I can't promise anything," he said. The last time they'd had a sex scene had been in season one and she had teased him for days afterward about how aroused he'd gotten under the bed covers. Of course, he'd gotten back at her by teasing her about her rock hard nipples. It had made for a steamy night for both of them later on.

He knew if it wasn't her he was doing the scene with, it wouldn't be an issue. But she'd be practically naked, just wearing panties and a strapless nude bra. He took a deep breath, feeling himself getting heated already, just thinking about her like that. "You can channel it all into Deacon," she said then, and he looked at her. "It'll make it seem real." She got up then. "I think I really should go now." Her voice was breathy and she looked a little flushed. "I'll see you there." She lifted her hand in a wave and walked out.

He leaned his head back on the couch and closed his eyes. His phone buzzed and he sat up and looked at it. He took a deep breath and let it out, then raised the phone to his ear. "Hey, there," he said. "What's up?"

* * *

The very last scene they were doing was the love scene. They had both been anticipating it. He knew he was nervous, now that filming it was going to be a reality, and he suspected she was too. The one thing they always worried about was someone being able to see that what they were portraying for the camera wasn't just acting. It was very real. They'd been lovers for most of the past two and a half years they'd been doing the show. There were some ebbs and flows, like filming hiatuses, but also times when one or the other of them would feel overwhelmed with guilt and put the brakes on. It never lasted though.

He worried, every time he read an article or saw a tweet or a post, talking about the amazing chemistry the two of them had. He had thought, often, that it was probably a good thing Deacon and Rayna weren't a couple on the show, the risk being that they wouldn't be able to hide their true feelings about each other from the camera. But now their characters would be reuniting and he had to admit it caused some anxiety. They had talked about it and he knew she was more nervous than he was. She didn't want to damage his relationship with his family and this most certainly would do that, if it were known.

He was standing over by the sliding door, waiting for the crew to set up the scene. She was sitting on the fireplace hearth, bouncing one leg, not looking at him. She was wrapped up in the blanket they would be using and he knew she was barely dressed underneath.

"Chip, Connie, we're ready," the production assistant said.

She got up from the hearth and looked at him then. They walked over to their spots by the couch. One of the crew took the blanket from her and she sat on the floor. She took the blanket and wrapped it across her back. He walked towards her and knelt down in front of her. She looked up at him and then she smiled, looking around the room. "How much privacy are we gonna get, y'all?" she asked, with a laugh. He could hear the nervousness in her voice, but doubted anyone else would pick it up.

"You know," Mike, their director, said. "Just the people who need to be in the room. Why don't you wrap the blanket around Chip, under his arms?"

They smiled at each other as she did so and then they both took deep breaths. Under the blanket, she moved so that she was straddling his crossed legs. He cleared his throat as he felt the heat from her body. This was not going to be easy.

* * *

It took only three takes to get what the director wanted. He had felt the smoothness of her skin against his, smelled the scent of her shampoo, as he fought the waves of desire. Towards the end of the take, she pressed her mouth against his shoulder and he could hear just the barest sound of a moan. When the scene was over, the crew left the room so they could get up. He held her a moment longer and then let her go. She stood, pulling the blanket with her, and then turned to walk back to the room where she could change. He sat still for a few minutes, just letting his breathing settle, then turned to reach for the denim shirt he'd been wearing before the scene started. He slipped it on, then got up and walked to his dressing area.

* * *

Before he left his room, he sent her a text. _I'll send the room number._ Then he walked out of the house and got in his car and headed for the road. He hadn't gone far when he got a text back. _We can stay here. Wait for me to let you know when._ He frowned, wondering what that was about. But he pulled over into a restaurant parking lot and parked, waiting.

He hoped this didn't take long. He needed her.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Thank you so much for the kind reviews! This is my very first fanfic and so I really appreciate the support. I will be getting us back to where I left off at the end of chapter 1 – never fear! – but first I'm going to go back and spend time back at the very beginning, seeing what got us to that night at Deacon's cabin.**_

He'd had a crush on her since watching her on _Friday Night Lights_ with his family. He had realized early on that it was more than just one of those 'man, I think she's hot' kind of things. He'd been embarrassed at how turned on he was by her, especially while in close proximity to his family. It was something that had never happened to him before and it was a little unsettling. He had no desire to leave his wife and family. He was happy with his life. He was totally in love with his wife and completely secure in that relationship. He never mentioned it to her, even as a joke. Eventually, though, with the end of the show, he'd gotten past it and mostly forgotten it.

But then he'd gotten the chance to audition for _Nashville_ and he wanted to knock it out of the park, because _she_ was the female lead. And his character would be attached to hers. It had never been his intention to let his feelings for what he saw her portray on screen interfere with his real life. But he also said a silent prayer of thanks when he got the call that he had landed the role of Deacon Claybourne.

When they all convened in Nashville to start pre-production, he was excited. Not only was he going to be a regular on a broadcast TV show, but he would be in the center of everything country music. He had told anyone who would listen that this was the dream role for him. Not only would he be portraying an amazingly nuanced character, but he would be able to sing and play guitar. The only downside was that he would spend the year in Nashville alone. He and his wife had decided they would wait to see if the show got picked up for a second season before deciding if they would uproot the whole family and move across country.

He was a little nervous about the prospect of working side-by-side with Connie Britton. Not only was she beautiful, but she was amazingly talented. He also told anyone who would listen that she was a major reason why he'd wanted to be on this show. Many major reasons, in fact, and told himself over and over that all of them were professional. He couldn't believe his luck.

The first day they met she suggested they spend some time getting to know each other and talk about their characters. Callie Khouri, the creator of the show, had given them some broad background information about the characters of Rayna Jaymes and Deacon Claybourne. So they knew the characters had been involved in the past, that Deacon was a recovering alcoholic, that his alcoholism was what had split them up, and that he was still in her band, even though she was married to someone else. They sat and talked about an imagined backstory for the characters and he had been blown away by her intelligence and her sense of humor. Truthfully, he'd fallen a little bit in love with her that day. Not that he ever intended to act on it.

They seemed to hit it off right away, although she was very private. She didn't socialize much with the rest of the cast, something he attributed to the fact that she had a young son. They talked about their families and she had expressed compassion for him being so far away from his. As they settled into rehearsals for the first episode, they spent more time together. Since their characters' stories were so intertwined, they found themselves on set together often and sitting together at lunch or when they both had a break, running lines and talking story. Eventually they were just talking, becoming friends.

There was an ease between them. He still had a bit of a crush on her, but getting to know her as a colleague helped him to tamp that down a bit. But then they filmed the very first scene of the show, where he and Rayna talked on the bridge. It was important that they be able to portray the hidden love between the two of them, the desire to be together and yet not. It would have been a challenging scene to portray even had they been working together for years, but to do it right out of the gate gave them both pause.

Every time he had to touch her – hold her hand, put a hand on her shoulder, brush against her – he felt a charge of electricity. Sometimes she would look at him, at times like that, with a quizzical look in her eye, and sometimes she'd quickly look away. He wondered if she'd felt the same thing, but then told himself that couldn't be true. She was the consummate professional, much more experienced than him in building characters and shows. But just as there was an undercurrent of _something_ between Deacon and Rayna, it became apparent, over time, that there was also an undercurrent of something between the two of them. What he didn't know for sure was what to do about it.

* * *

It was the fourth episode of the first season that kind of turned everything on its head. It was ironic – he was bad at remembering names and places most of the time – but this he remembered. In frame-by-frame detail. They were filming a pretty intense scene. Rayna was dreaming, about being in bed with Deacon. They were so close to each other, as lovers would be. They were both wrapped in sheets, but her leg was still hooked over his hip and her fingers were gently scratching his face and his hand was on her knee. He knew he needed to look at her with all the unrequited love Deacon felt for Rayna, but in the middle of the scene he realized he was feeling those same feelings for Connie. He looked into her eyes and told himself she was being the consummate professional, but he still thought he saw something there. The same thing he was feeling.

And that kiss. He was lying on top of her, hoping the multiple layers of sheets they were wrapped in were enough. At one point she opened her mouth beneath his and he struggled not to really kiss her. When the director called out 'cut', they rolled off each other and lay side-by-side. They both started to laugh, the kind of laugh you made when you were a little embarrassed and a little bit hoping the other person didn't catch on that maybe things got a little mixed up. He let himself glance over at her and, for a second, the look in her eyes was one of raw desire. Then she closed them and turned her head away.

Fortunately the director was satisfied with that take. He wasn't at all sure he could do that again.

* * *

He was in line at craft services and she got in line behind him. He turned back and gave her a quick smile. Things had felt awkward somehow since the bedroom scene. Not uncomfortable, just like they weren't sure how to _be_ with each other. "So, I was wondering," she said, and he turned back to her. She smiled. "I was wondering if we could run lines. I know we've got this kind of hard scene coming up tomorrow night and I'd really like to, well, kind of see how we want to play it."

He looked at her a moment and then nodded. "I'm always up for running lines, Connie. You know that."

She blushed a little. "Yeah, but I was thinking maybe I could offer you a, um, a home cooked meal while we do it. You could come over and we could sit on the porch." She laughed a little. "I've got this great screened in porch. Very Southern. And you're probably tired of take out and craft services." She lifted her shoulder in a teasing kind of way.

He looked at her a moment, then smiled. "I didn't know you cooked," he said with a grin.

She made a face and smacked him on the arm. "It won't be Julia Child quality, but I do a pretty damn good job in the kitchen, I'll have you know."

He had to grin. "Well, that's an invitation I don't see how I can turn down then."

She nodded her head and smiled. "Great. Wonderful. How about seven?"

He was still smiling. "I can do seven." She continued to just smile at him. "You gonna give me directions?"

She shook her head as though she'd been in a trance. "Oh, yeah, I'll do that. I'll text you. How about that?"

"That'd be great." He took a beat. "'Cept you don't have my number."

She looked flustered and then laughed. "You're right." She rolled her eyes and laughed some more. "What in the hell is wrong with me?" She pulled her phone out of her pocket and handed it to him. "Put your number in. _Then_ I'll text you."

"Okay." He took her phone and, opening her contacts, entered his information. Then he handed her back the phone. "Just let me know."

* * *

In the end they had Chinese takeout. Yoby, her son, was fussy and she seemed a little rattled by it until he finally went down in his crib. He was waiting for her on her porch, when she finally came out, a burp cloth on her shoulder. She sat down hard next to him on the little rattan loveseat. "I'm sorry," she said. "None of that went the way I planned."

He was sitting, holding his copy of the script. "What had you planned?" he asked, his voice low.

She looked at him and seemed to breathe in slowly. She made a face. "Well, I was going to _cook_ , for one thing. I really am a decent cook, Chip, I promise."

He shook his head and smiled. "Don't worry about it. I eat take out a lot. Or I pick up something from Silo downstairs from my apartment."

She smiled at him gratefully. "And I didn't know Yoby was going to be sick."

"I've been around sick kids."

She sighed. "Yeah, I guess you have." She bit on her bottom lip. "You miss them? Your family?"

He did. It was hard being so far away and only seeing them on weekends or the occasional trip they took to Nashville. It had been tough. "Yeah, I do," he said, feeling a little wistful and a little guilty.

She nodded. "Does your wife know about, you know, the kind of scenes we have? What our relationship is?"

He frowned. " _Our_ relationship?"

Her face got red. "Deacon and Rayna's relationship," she said, looking down at her hands.

That was when he knew what he'd seen in her eyes was real. But he didn't know what to do about it. Or what she wanted him to do about it. "Well, um…."

She looked back at him. "I just know sometimes spouses get worried. I know we've talked about what their relationship is, that there's all this, you know, _sexual_ tension. I don't want her to think…."

He shook his head. "No, no, you don't have to worry." He reached for her hand, without thinking, and squeezed it. And there it was. That shock of electricity again and he could see, by the look on her face, that she felt it too. Suddenly he felt like he couldn't breathe. He could see her chest rise and fall. He tried not to focus on her breasts. He could feel the heat settling in his groin. All he could think about was kissing her mouth, putting his hands on her beautiful, full breasts, and burying himself deep inside her. He swallowed hard and then stood up quickly, his script falling to the floor. "Um, I think I should go," he mumbled, leaning down to pick up the papers on the floor.

She stood up too. "I'm sorry," she whispered, putting her hand on his arm, then pulling it back quickly.

 _She does feel it. Same as me._ He headed for the front door and she trailed after him. He put his hand on the door knob, then turned back to her. She was pushing her hair back off her face and she looked flushed, but he thought she had never looked more beautiful and desirable right then. He knew he was in trouble and he needed to go before something happened they would regret. "Maybe we can, uh, do this tomorrow," he said.

She nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure we can find someplace. On set." He breathed in and then she stepped towards him and hugged him. It took a moment before he finally put his arms around her. He could feel her breasts pressed firmly against his chest, her nipples taut, and then he shut his eyes tight, knowing she was close enough to him that she could tell how much he wanted her. She rubbed her hands down his back and then stepped away, looking up at him. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

He nodded. "Me too." He looked at her for one more long moment, then turned and walked out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, as soon as he was done with wardrobe, he went to Deacon's living room set. It had become his favorite place to wait, in between scenes or while he wasn't needed on set. He would actually be filming later that afternoon at the house in East Nashville that was the front for Deacon's house. He had two scenes, one with Hayden Panettiere, and then the evening scene with Connie. He liked the set. They had created a real man's domain, all dark wood and leather furniture, the kind of place where a single man would live, someone who spent most of his time on the road and had little time or inclination to tidy up or worry about the clutter.

He heard footsteps but didn't pay much attention. People were always walking around the sets, mostly crew, but even cast members sometimes did as he did and found someplace to hang out. He and the other regulars also had trailers on site, but he hated the closed in feeling. He focused on an article he was reading in Guitar World magazine. One of the benefits of the show was the opportunity he had to make music, even if it was Deacon Claybourne's music. He had considered himself to be reasonably good on the guitar, but he'd been paired up with Colin Linden, a master guitar player and the sound of Deacon's guitar, back at the beginning of filming. He spent hours with Colin, even when Deacon didn't have a song to perform, learning how to improve his skill. But it had reignited his interest in all things guitars and he had already started to acquire a few he liked.

"Hey." He turned to see Connie standing at the front door of the set. He was a little surprised to see her. Her only scene that day was the nighttime scene between the two of them outside Deacon's house. The one she'd wanted to talk about. It was a tense scene, after Rayna had cancelled her tour and fired Deacon from her band, and she wanted Deacon's permission to use one of their songs in an ad. Deacon was still angry and hurt and not open to listening. It was nuanced.

"Hey." He swallowed. "Surprised to see you here already."

She shrugged and walked into the space, sitting in a chair that was catty corner to where he sat. "I felt sort of, I don't know, weird about last night. Wanted to talk to you about it," she said. He covered his mouth with his hand and looked away. She sighed. "I like to run lines with my partner," she went on. "And I like for us to be comfortable with each other, not just be, you know, colleagues. I think it helps for us to be able to be in character better when we're in character, you know?"

He felt a sense of disappointment then, knowing that's all it was. He looked back at her and nodded. "Yeah, makes sense."

She looked at him, then quickly looked away. "Except it didn't feel exactly like that. Last night." She was practically wringing her hands. "It felt, um, way more personal than that."

He felt embarrassed then, that he'd been so transparent and that he'd misread the situation so badly. So inappropriately. "Look, Connie, I'm sorry," he started.

She looked at him then and he saw something in her eyes he couldn't quite figure out. She shook her head. "No, Chip, it's _me_. I kind of let myself, you know, _forget_. Who we are, what we're doing. _I'm_ the one who's sorry." He looked at her incredulously. She lifted her hands and shrugged. "I'm still a new mom and I'm doing it all by myself and, I know I have help, but it's _exhausting_. And then Yoby was fussy and nothing was going right and I guess I just let my defenses down a little." She tried to smile. "I don't know people here yet, really, and having you there was just so…nice, you know?"

He waved her off, but he wasn't really sure how to interpret what she was saying. "It's okay. Really. And, you know, don't take it all on yourself." She looked at him then, a curiousness in her eyes. He took a deep breath. "We're trying to make this real. Make Deacon and Rayna _real_ , for the people who will be watching. They're a complicated couple, or whatever they are, and we're trying to figure that out. Right?"

She smiled a little more, a sincere smile. "Right." She slid forward on the chair, her hands on her knees, ready to stand up. "I want to do this really well. This role is a real challenge for me and it's scary. The singing part, mostly. And I want to make this relationship real too. For the viewers. I'm always all in, that's just my way." She reached over and put her hand on his knee. "I like working with you, Chip. A lot. And I like what we're getting to create." She stood then and looked down at him. He saw that same look in her eyes again that he didn't quite understand. "All of it," she said. "So I guess I'll see you at Deacon's house tonight."

He felt confused about what had just happened. "Yeah," he said, and then he watched her walk away.

* * *

His scene with Hayden was over and he went to the set trailer to wait. One of the things he'd never known about acting, until he did it, was all the waiting. They wouldn't film the scene with Rayna until dark and they probably had several hours, at a minimum, before then. He thought about filming with Hayden. She was young enough to be his daughter. At least if he'd had one practically just out of high school. He was very relieved their characters had moved past having a sexual relationship. He thought about that for a moment, remembering a conversation he'd had with Connie, during one of the early episodes.

" _So how is it working with Hayden like that?" she asked. It was obvious she was trying to be nonchalant about it, but he could also tell she wasn't pulling that off well. She was eating fruit off a plate in the cast break room and not looking at him._

 _He crossed his arms over each other and leaned on the table. "Like what?" he asked, a grin on his face._

 _She looked up at him and rolled her eyes, but he could see spots of color high on her cheeks. "You know," she said. "Sexy time."_

 _He sat back and laughed. "'Sexy time?' Seriously?" He pointed at her. "You know who you sound like?"_

 _She frowned. "Who?"_

 _He leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "Rayna. Good old naïve Rayna."_

 _She made a face, then went back to her fruit. "I'm not naïve."_

" _Are you pretending to be her though? Because she was jealous." He dragged out the word jealous and laughed again._

 _She looked at him, her eyes flashing, the color on her cheeks spreading across her face. "I'm not jealous," she snapped._

 _He leaned back, holding his hands up in a surrender pose. "I'm not saying_ _you're_ _jealous. It's like you're channeling her though."_

 _She sat, looking down at her plate for a moment, then back at him. She smiled. "You're right. I'm being Rayna. Rayna doesn't like Deacon being with other women, especially women like that." She waved her hand. "Even though she's married."_

 _He sat forward. "You think she'd ever cheat?" They didn't know what their future storyline held, but the tension between the characters was definitely intense._

 _She seemed to think about that for a moment, then looked at him thoughtfully. "I think she has principles. I think she_ _wants_ _to cheat. I mean, good Lord, I love Eric Close to death, but Teddy's so not worthy of her, you know what I mean? She is deeply in love with Deacon and probably has been this entire time. She wants to cheat – badly, I think – but who knows what it would take to get her there?" She flattened her hands on the table. "Here's what I think. I don't think she would initiate it. She's obviously managed to stay in her lane for all these years she's been married. But if_ _Deacon_ _made a move? It could put her over the edge. So I think the real question is, would_ _Deacon_ _make a move? A serious move."_

 _He thought about that and shrugged. "I think Deacon would make a move. If he got even the slightest hint from her that she'd be okay with it. The man is seriously carrying a torch for her." He sat back again, crossing one leg over his knee. "So the real question, again, is – would Rayna cheat? For the love of her life."_

 _She looked at him intently. "If she loves him enough and she thinks she could do it without being caught?" She shrugged. "She might. In fact, I think there's a good chance."_

He wasn't sure why that conversation came back to him, except that it seemed like Connie already felt a little territorial. She and Hayden weren't particularly close, but it was almost as though she were jealous. That gave him pause. And then he thought about his words. _So the real question, again, is – would Rayna cheat? For the love of her life._ His heart started to pound. It almost felt like that conversation was really about the two of them, except he hadn't realized it at the time.

He closed his eyes. The truth was, when he was at her house, he had wanted to cheat. He'd thought about her naked body, about making love to her. He had never thought those kinds of things about any other woman, since long before he'd married his wife. He loved his wife. She was his partner, his supporter, the mother of his children, his best friend. He wanted Connie though. He wanted to know what it would be like to make her cry out in ecstasy, he wanted to give her the orgasm she would remember for the rest of her life. He wanted to touch her, in all the places he couldn't right now. He wanted to hold her breasts in his hands, toy with her nipples, kiss her between her legs, and then be inside her. He wanted to take her in ways he hadn't even imagined yet.

He groaned and rolled over, conscious of his erection. He didn't know what to do. He needed to stop thinking about her, that he knew for sure, but he felt like something had sparked between them, and it hadn't just happened the night before. It had been going on almost since they'd met, it was that he was just now realizing she may have felt the same. It's why she seemed jealous about his scenes with Hayden. He breathed in deeply, trying to put that genie back in the bottle.

Before he knew it, he was asleep.

* * *

He was startled awake by a hand on his arm. He rolled over and looked up into Connie's face. "Hey, sleepyhead" she said with a smile.

He sat up abruptly, rubbing his hands over his face. She stepped back. "Hey," he said, then looked up at her, smiling sheepishly. "Guess I fell asleep."

She laughed a little. "Hey, don't worry about it. I've taken a nap on Rayna's bed before." She rolled her eyes. "They went cheap on the mattress, in case you're wondering." She sat down next to him. "They're setting up. We'll be ready to start in fifteen, twenty minutes."

He gave her a look. "So they say."

She gave him a knowing smile and nodded. "So they say." She nodded towards the door of the trailer. "I saw that they dirtied up your truck. Like Deacon just went mudding or something."

He smirked. "Seriously? Deacon doesn't seem like a mudder to me."

She smiled, then pulled her hair back. "So I'm feeling like Rayna hates having to beg like this and it makes her feel not in control. Reasoning with Deacon isn't gonna work, of course, and then she gets mad. But it's all tied up in how they've always felt about each other and she just can't take it where she needs to." She let her hair go. He breathed in, thinking about how he would love to run his hands through it. "And then there's such pain at the end." She put her hand on his arm. "I think I pause after I say 'Is this how you wanna do this?' and you have a line then…."

He nodded. "'Yeah, I think it is.'"

"I think it would be more impactful if we left that out. Just let it go silent and then she says 'Nice to see you, Deacon', and it's filled with all the disappointment and hurt and wishing things were different."

He nodded. "And when he says it back to her, it's the same, only it's his regret and feeling like this is all he's got left to take a stand on."

She gave him a tiny smile and nodded. "Yeah," she said quietly. "I think that's it."

Just then the door opened to the trailer and they both jumped apart. "We're ready to get set up, y'all," the production manager said, sticking his head in.

He nodded. "Be right there." The door closed and they both stood. She looked at him and he cleared his throat. "I've gotta change shirts."

She raised up her hands. "Oh, okay, I'll scoot then." She smiled and then headed for the door. "See you in a few," she said as she headed down the steps, letting the door close behind her.

He stood there for a moment, watching where she'd been, thinking about how he'd been dreaming about her when she woke him and how, right then, he felt disoriented by everything. He took a deep breath and stretched, then went to the costume closet and, shedding the flannel shirt he'd been wearing for his earlier scene, reached for the dark green t-shirt he'd be wearing in this one. He rubbed his hands over his face and then headed for the door.

* * *

He drove up in the truck and parked beside the house. Connie was right, it looked like Deacon had been off-roading or something. As he got out of the truck, she pushed up from the steps leading to the walkway to the house. As he walked around to the back of the truck, she said, "Hey."

He didn't look at her. "Hey," he said, trying to sound offhanded.

She kept walking to stand behind him. "How you doing?"

He looked back at her for a second, trying to seem casual. "Alright." He opened the tailgate and pulled out a fishing pole.

"You catch anything?" she asked.

He still didn't look at her. "Nope." He pulled out a tackle box, then turned back to face her for the rest of the scene. It didn't escape him that a lot of their real life interactions were like that. Casual and breezy, as though they were just casual friends. Much like Deacon and Rayna, he felt sure he and Connie were just hiding all those underlying feelings beneath small talk and trying not to be emotional with each other. But just like it would be at the end of the scene, the way Connie had gotten the director to agree to play it, there would be so many things unsaid.

Made him wonder if either of them would ever get the courage to actually say them.


	4. Chapter 4

When he got the script, he'd whistled out loud. Deacon was going to kiss Rayna in an elevator. He hadn't kissed Connie since the dream scene. He thought about the fact that his and Connie's relationship had been a lot like Deacon and Rayna's, filled with ebbs and flows. They were comfortable with each other, but they'd seemed to take a step back from that underlying tension. They had not talked much about the scene, but it was coming up in a few days. They would actually be filming a series of scenes in the elevator, at a hotel in downtown Nashville.

They were waiting to film a backstage scene and she walked up to stand beside him. She was wearing a sequined dress that hit her at mid-thigh and sky high heels. The neckline of her dress was low cut and showed off her cleavage. She looked amazingly sexy. "Hey," she said.

He looked over at her and smiled appreciatively. "Hey."

She slid her hand under his arm and leaned in. "I know we're rehearsing that elevator scene tomorrow, but I'd really like for us to talk it through."

He shrugged. "Okay."

She sighed. "I was also hoping you'd run Eric's lines through with me. He had to go home unexpectedly and it would help me to kind of work through that."

He nodded. "Sure, I can help with that." He inclined his head towards Deacon's house set. "We can go back there."

She looked at him for a moment, then shook her head. "I don't want to do it here. Someone could walk in on us."

He laughed a little. "Connie, we're gonna rehearse it tomorrow. Here. What's different?"

She frowned. "The crew will be here tomorrow. They'll be expecting it. I don't want someone walking in on us doing that by ourselves." She leaned closer. "People talk."

He felt a moment of anxiety when she said that. "They do?"

She shook her head. "They _would_."

He shoved his hands in his pockets and raised his shoulders. "Oh." She looked at him and then flicked her eyes away, her tongue running across her top lip. He breathed out. "We could go to my place. It's close."

She stepped away from him then. "Okay," she said, with a tiny smile. "Text me the address." Then she turned and walked off, leaving him to wonder if this was just about running lines.

* * *

As soon as he opened the door to her, he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. But she was here, so it appeared they'd go through with it. "Hey," he said, stepping back from the door. "Come on in."

She walked in and looked around, taking off her jacket. He took it, and her purse, and set them down on a chair. "This is actually pretty nice," she said. "Did it come furnished?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Everything, all the way down to toilet paper and napkins." He laughed a little self-consciously.

She smiled teasingly. "And it looks like you do clean."

He shook his head and laughed. "Nah, not really. But someone does come in and clean and it happened to be today, lucky for me." He picked up his script from the dining room table. "So you ready?" She nodded.

* * *

They figured out how they wanted to play it, how he would move towards her, where his hands would go and where hers would go. He would kiss the air and then they would talk about how it had felt. It was the third time they went through it, making some minor adjustments, when she leaned in a little closer and put her lips against his. She bit down gently on his lip and he suddenly found himself kissing her back. In the scene they would have just chewed each other's lips, but he felt her tongue tentatively touch his.

Alarm bells were going off in his head but he didn't want it to end. She pulled him closer and the kiss deepened. Their tongues were battling each other, their lips crushing against the others'. She tasted of cinnamon and sugar and he felt like he was drowning in her. He pulled her against him, running his hands down her back and over her ass, and heard himself moan down in his throat. When he suddenly realized he was fully aroused, he pulled away, turning his back to her, breathing hard in and out. She mumbled an apology, then grabbed her purse, jacket, and script and hurried out the door.

He stood staring at the door, his heart racing, unable to completely catch his breath. _What the hell just happened?_

* * *

Things felt awkward the next day on set and the rehearsal was a disaster. He and Connie could hardly look at each other. He'd been up half the night, just thinking about that kiss, about how he'd felt when she did it. He had expected to feel guilty and, when he didn't, he'd thought about that too. He wondered what she was thinking, but he couldn't make himself ask.

They finally forced themselves to get through the entire scene, but she had looked off to the side and he hadn't looked at her at all. The embrace had felt clumsy and he'd actually felt relief when it was over. "Bad rehearsal, good performance," he heard someone say. As soon as they were done, he headed for the door and his car.

* * *

When he heard the knock on his door, he cautiously looked through the peephole. She was standing there, rocking back and forth on her heels, licking her lips, and looking around nervously. He took a breath, then opened the door. She looked at him, her eyes filled with what appeared to be expectation. He was sure he knew why she was there. She had barely walked inside when she dropped her purse on the floor and stepped into his embrace. The kiss was hot and sloppy and they were practically devouring each other. He finally pulled back and practically ripped off her clothes, as she reached for his belt and unbuckled it, then pulled at his zipper.

When they were finally undressed, he just looked at her. Her breasts were very full, making her small waist look even tinier. Her legs seemed to go on forever. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and he reached out and rubbed a tendril between his fingers. She took a step towards him and took him in her hand and he caught his breath at the feel of her cool fingers on him. He reached up and cupped her breasts, sucking in his breath as he felt the weight of them in his hands. She squeezed him gently and he made a growling noise, then bent his knees slightly and lifted her up in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him, her tongue tantalizing him. He walked her into the bedroom and laid her down on the bed, then pulled the sheets down underneath her. She drew one leg up slightly and it felt like all the breath had been sucked out of his lungs. He knelt down on the bed and then straddled her.

He was hovering over her, his hands on either side of her shoulders. She was looking up at him. They had both seen each other completely naked now. He'd seen, and felt, how lushly full her breasts were. She had seen him, fully erect and ready for her. It didn't seem like there was any going back, but still he asked. "You sure about this?" She didn't speak, just nodded. So he lowered himself, fitting himself at the place where her legs joined. She sighed then, a deep sigh that signaled her anticipation. She opened up her legs beneath him. He could feel how wet and ready she was, even before he'd entered her. Her mouth opened slightly and her breathing quickened as she waited. She reached her hands up and put them on his waist, pulling him slightly towards her. She slid her feet up so that her knees were bent and arched her body upwards towards him, an invitation to enter. He bit his bottom lip, knowing this was going to happen. There was no going back, no stopping, no second guessing. They were all in.

As he pushed into her, her eyes widened slightly and her mouth formed an O. He could tell, right way, that it would be a snug fit, but he found himself even more excited by that prospect. He stopped and looked at her though, a question in his eyes. She whispered y _es_ and he kept moving into her. She closed her eyes and moaned softly. When he was fully inside her and settled down on top of her, he held still for a moment, letting her adjust to him. He could feel her rock back and forth, sliding her legs open a little wider. Then she looked up at him and smiled – a beautiful, glowing, completely fulfilled smile.

"This is going to be amazing," she whispered, sliding her hands around his back and pulling him closer to her.

And it was.

* * *

He was pretty sure he knew the answer, but he had to ask anyway. "Was that okay for you?" It had been more than okay for him. It had actually far exceeded anything he could have ever imagined. He loved that she kept her eyes open, fastened on his, telling him without words how turned on she was, how much he was satisfying her, how much she loved everything they were doing. She had wrapped her legs around his back, pulling him in firmly, the little noises she made telling him it was good for her. Her enthusiastic noises during her orgasm had told him he'd satisfied her, the same way he hoped she could tell he'd been satisfied too. She was still holding him inside her, something he would learn she loved, while he waited for her to answer.

She bit down on her lip, her hands fluttering over his back, her face flushed. He could see the redness on her cheeks and shoulders from his scruff. If he had to come up with a word to describe how she looked right then, it would have been blissful. And that made his heart swell, knowing _he_ was the one who'd put that look there. "Oh, Chip," she breathed. "You just rocked my whole world."

He couldn't help it, that brought tears to his eyes. This was _the_ Connie Britton. Beautiful, sexy, _amazing_ Connie Britton. So far _above_ him Connie Britton. And yet here she was, naked in his bed, still joined with him in the afterglow of some of the most amazing sex he'd ever had, telling _him_ he'd rocked _her_ world. He smiled and then let out a shaky laugh. "Really?" he croaked out.

She nodded and then she laughed too, that amazing throaty, husky laugh of hers. "Really," she said. "I mean, oh my God, Chip, that was incredible." She shook her head, an amazed smile on her face. "Seriously, if Deacon is even half as good as you, it's no wonder Rayna can't stop thinking about him." She looked at him with a teasing look on her face. "I'm gonna want to do this again. Like before I leave here."

* * *

He rolled off of her and they both lay prone, on their backs, breathing hard. Her hand was touching his and he slid his fingers through hers as they both came down off their high. Then he caught his breath and closed his eyes. He knew her thoughts had gone to the same place, as her fingers went limp. They let go of each other and he rolled onto his side, facing her, propped on his elbow, his right hand covering his left. He was pretty sure the sadness in her eyes was mirrored in his own.

She sat up then, holding the sheet against her chest, her other hand over her mouth. "What have we done?" she whispered, not looking at him.

She'd felt his wedding ring. He felt it too. It felt heavy on his finger. He had certainly never gone into this thinking this would really happen, but from the moment he met her in person, he realized there was an inevitability to it. Neither one of them had been that kind of person. Someone who would hurt another. Or cheat. And yet they had. Actually they had from the beginning, but this made it real.

He looked away, tears in his eyes. "I understand if you want to go," he said quietly. "We can forget this ever happened. Go on. Be" – he took a deep breath – "professional."

"I don't know if I can," she said.

He sat up then, still not looking at her. "You can blame me then," he said. "Tell them you want them to end Deacon and Rayna."

"I don't want that, Chip," she said and he turned to look at her. Her eyes were filled with sadness but there was also a resoluteness to her. "I don't want that at all."

He shook his head. "Then how….?"

She shrugged. "I don't know." She sat back against the headboard, looking straight ahead. "I've never been this kind of person before. But I also have never felt what I've felt, with you, before. I don't know how we navigate this, Chip." She looked back at him then. "Except that we _have_ to."

"How are we gonna do that?"

"We're professionals. We do what we have to do in front of the camera. I know we can do that. I have _confidence_ in both of us."

"Can you get past this?"

That's when she completely and totally surprised him. "I don't want to get past it," she said. He didn't know what to say. "You're the one with the most to lose. If you tell me that you can't do this, I will respect that. And you. I never want to cause you pain. Or your family."

 _I don't want to get past it._ He couldn't believe she'd said that. That swirled around in his head and he actually felt lightheaded for a moment, unable to catch his breath. He watched as her face seemed to crumble, sure he wanted to walk away. _But do I? Can I?_ He considered what was in his heart and then he turned towards her and kissed her. He put his hand on her waist and turned her towards him, as she reached her hands up and put them on his cheeks. When he finally pulled his lips from hers, he leaned his forehead against hers. "I don't want to either," he murmured.

* * *

He laid in his bed that night, wide awake. He rolled over onto his side and pulled the pillow her head had been on into his face, breathing deeply. He could still smell her, the scent of her shampoo, that citrusy scent she wore. He'd wanted her to stay, but she had her son to get home to, so, reluctantly, they had dressed and he'd walked her to the door. He had taken her in his arms and kissed her, practically drinking her in, as she pressed herself against him and ran her fingers along the nape of his neck.

When she pulled her lips from his, she put her hands on his face. "I wish I didn't have to leave. I can't wait to see you tomorrow," she said softly.

He ran his hands down her back, settling them just below her waist. "Me too," he said. She looked at him, her blue eyes searching his, questioning him silently. He kissed her gently. "We're good," he said.

She gave him a tiny smile and nodded. "Good," she said. He held her close and then finally, reluctantly, let her go.

Now all he could think about was how soft her skin was, how good her hair smelled, the taste of her lips and her mouth, and then, finally, how good it felt to make love to her, to be inside her. He thought again that he should have felt guilty, but he didn't. Not really. What he did feel was something he'd never felt before, something he hadn't realized he'd never felt before until that day.

He felt complete.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Thank you so much for the lovely reviews! I'm so glad you're enjoying this.**_

Traffic was light on Briley Parkway this early in the morning. He was not a morning person – never had been – so a 6 AM hair and makeup call was hard. Probably harder because he was tired and on edge. They both had had a night to sleep on what had happened the day before. He knew where he stood, but did she? Would she still be all in in the cold light of day?

It was going to be a long filming day, with a large stretch of free time midday for him. They were shooting outdoor scenes, lobby scenes, and exterior elevator scenes at the Doubletree in downtown Nashville. The interior elevator scenes were set for late afternoon back on set. He also had wardrobe changes to navigate. He knew Connie had a scene with J.D. Souther, but that was back on set. He wondered if they'd have a chance to talk.

He couldn't stop thinking about her though. Her hair, her smile, her legs, her eyes, just about everything. It had felt magical almost and he still had that sense that it could be something epic. Meant to be. Inevitable. Like a fast moving train, something they couldn't – and maybe didn't want to – control or stop.

When he got to the set, he headed towards his trailer. He saw her Mustang parked by hers, two trailers down. She would have had to be there earlier, of course, for hair and makeup. He felt his stomach turn over, a mix of anticipation and anxiety. Would they talk? Make eye contact? Ignore each other? He didn't know how this kind of thing worked and he found it hard to breathe. He parked, got out, and ran up the steps to his trailer.

* * *

They _didn't_ talk, actually, but it was more a function of not sitting together and being with other cast members on the ride over. The first scene they were filming was in the lobby and he stood off to the side as they set up. Hair and makeup were hovering around her, so he just waited patiently for things to get set up. He and Connie didn't have any interaction in this scene, but all that did was amp up the anxiety.

He kept his eyes on her, trying not to be obvious, but paying attention to her body language or anything else that might give him a clue. At one point, she walked past him and glanced up. "Hey," she said, with a small smile, and kept walking. He'd seen nothing in her eyes or her demeanor that gave him any comfort. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away.

The only filming they had together at the hotel was the various elevator entry scenes, which took time because of wardrobe changes, reflecting the passage of time. One thing he could always count on was her being a professional and she gave him the varying irritated and resigned looks the scenes called for. She would give him a tight smile when they were done, but that was it. Then they prepared to head back to the set. As they walked out to the bus, she came up beside him. He looked down at her. "Maybe you can come by when we get back," she said and then picked up her pace heading towards the bus, putting distance between them.

Again, she sat with others and she seemed relaxed, congenial, laughing occasionally. And even though he had his eyes on her, she never looked back at him. His heart sank.

He was standing in his trailer when a text came through from her. _Thought you were stopping by._ He took a deep breath and texted back. _On my way._ He had no idea what to expect.

* * *

When she opened the door to him, there was a soft smile on her face. She still had on her clothes from the last elevator scene. She reached for his hand and pulled him in. When the door closed behind him, she reached around and locked it. Then she took his hands, looked up at him with a smile, and said "Kiss me."

Which he did, with a sense of great relief and an overwhelming amount of passion, which she returned in full measure.

* * *

He was propped up on the bench in her trailer, one leg stretched out straight, the other bent and his foot on the floor. She was sitting with her back against him, her legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. He had his arms around her and she clutched them with her hands.

She made a satisfied noise. "Were you really worried?" she asked.

"A little."

She snuggled back against him. "I'm sorry," she said. "I thought it was a good idea for us not to be too, you know, close."

She was probably right. "This is a big ass deal," he said.

She laughed a little. "Yeah, you're right about that. A _very_ big ass deal." She sighed. "I want to see you again."

"Me too."

"Like, a lot." She turned to look back at him, a serious look on her face. "Until we can't."

He knew what she meant and he thought she was probably protecting her heart. But he was pretty sure, now that they'd broken through the wall, that he wouldn't be able to go back. But he said, "That's what I want too."

She smiled then. "Can you come over tonight?" He nodded. "Can you stay?"

He leaned down and kissed her. "I can stay."

* * *

The heat of the interior elevator scenes had been off the charts. He hoped it looked as hot as it had felt. In one of the takes, she had gotten carried away and had let her tongue dart towards his. He bit lightly on her lower lip and she had pulled back. One thing he did know was that real kissing never looked as good on screen as it seemed it would. The reluctance in pulling away from her was real, as he hadn't wanted the kiss to end, and he didn't think she did either. He had added the final extra kiss before he walked off the elevator during their last take and was curious to see if they would use it or somehow edit it out. When he had pulled back from her that time, her eyes had been genuinely wide with surprise.

As she passed him on the set, headed for her trailer, she had put her hand on his arm and looked into his eyes, taking just an extra beat. He swallowed hard, thinking about the night to come. She walked on and he turned his head to watch her. As he thought about the sway of her hips as she walked, he felt like he couldn't breathe.

* * *

He followed a few car lengths behind her, even though he knew where she lived. It was nearly dark by the time they got to her neighborhood. As he pulled down the driveway and she opened the garage door, she stuck her hand out the window, motioning him to park in the other bay. He did and she closed the garage door behind them. He opened his car door and started to get out, but she waved him off. She walked to his door and put her hands on the edge. "My nanny is here," she said. "Her car is the one parked in the parking pad, so wait for her to leave."

"Okay," he said.

She leaned over the open door and kissed him, then smiled. "She watches the show, so she would probably recognize you. She's pretty discreet, obviously, or I wouldn't still have her, but no sense starting any rumors."

He smiled back. "Got it."

"When you hear her drive out, come on in. I'll leave the door unlocked. Just come up the stairs." She leaned in again, putting her hand on the back of his neck and giving him a more lingering kiss. "Yoby will already be asleep, so we'll have the night to ourselves," she said when she pulled back.

All he could do was smile, as she turned and headed for the door into the house. Again, he watched the seductive sway of her hips and got hard just thinking about being in her bed that night.

* * *

He couldn't quite believe she was really in his arms. She was turned towards him, her hand on his neck just behind his ear, her fingers threading the hair at the nape of his neck. She had draped her leg over his. He had one hand on her back, the other in her hair, spread out over the pillow behind her. He could feel her breath on his shoulder and he leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. She wrinkled it and smiled, looking into his eyes.

She sighed contentedly and moved her leg slightly. She let her thumb stroke the skin just under his ear and she let out a low chuckle. "Already?" she asked with a grin, her voice husky.

He knew he turned red. "What can I say?" he asked, with a grin. "You're irresistible." He kissed her and then adjusted himself so he was turned more towards her. He pulled the sheet down around her to expose her breast, placing his hand on it. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, stroking her gently, still kind of amazed to be naked, in bed, with Connie Britton, after an afternoon of sex at his apartment.

They had been together for two weeks, hardly able to keep their hands off each other. They spent as much free time together as they could. He was always amazed at how turned on he was whenever he was around her and she always seemed to be ready for him. He loved how she touched him, how she made him feel, and he hoped he did the same for her.

She slid her hand under the sheet and grabbed him, as though she knew what he was thinking. "Someone's ready for me," she purred. She rolled on top of him then and lowered herself onto him. He loved watching her face as she closed her eyes and sighed deeply. He grabbed her hips and moved so that he was buried as deeply as possible inside her.

He sucked in his breath as she put her hands on his shoulders and leaned forward. He reached up and palmed her breasts. She made satisfied noises and then started moving her hips. As things got more heated, he moved his hands to her hips, increasing the thrust and pace, watching her get more and more aroused.

He was getting close and he thought she was too. Then she grabbed his hand and put it against her, where they were joined together. "Touch me here," she panted, and he did, rubbing her with his thumb. He hadn't expected the instant reaction for both of them but, as he shouted out her name as he climaxed, he could see her throw her head back, crying out "Yes, yes!" over and over.

She sat, perched on him, for a long minute afterwards, breathing hard. Her whole body seemed to be flushed and he was just entranced by her. Finally she looked down at him, a lazy smile on her face, her hair cascading down over her shoulders. "That was amazing," she said, drawing out the words. " _You_ are amazing." She rolled off of him, cuddling up against him. She put her hand on his face and smiled at him. "I knew you'd be great but I'm still blown away," she said.

He was sure if they hadn't just finished having sex, her words would have made him hard again. "You knew?" he asked.

She nodded. "I did. But I feel a little selfish." She gave him a teasing smile. "I pursued you."

"What?" He frowned.

"It's all on me."

He shook his head. "No, it's not."

"But I made the moves."

He put his arm around her shoulder and rubbed her skin gently. "Don't you think I could've said no?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I guess."

He smiled. "I think it's been there pretty much all along, don't you? For both of us. So it's not all on you."

She leaned her head back slightly so she could look straight at him, putting her hand on his chest. "How long have you known?"

He covered her hand with his. "I thought from that first scene we filmed. You were hard to turn away from and I could feel the beginning of something. But I _knew_ when we did the dream scene."

She smiled. "I knew from the first time we talked. Alone." That surprised him. "Do you remember that?"

"I remember every single thing about you."

She looked away, then back at him. "I asked you why you thought Deacon stayed."

He nodded. "And I said, because he loved her and he was always hoping someday she'd need him again. And I asked you why Rayna kept him around."

"She would tell herself it was for their daughter, because it was clear one of her daughters was his, but it was really because they could be together and he wouldn't disappoint her again. I knew then I was in trouble and I didn't want to put you in an awkward pace, but on the bridge…."

He took a deep breath. "I felt it then."

Her eyes turned sad. "I don't want to be a complication."

He felt a lump in his throat and he ran his knuckles up and down her arm. "You could never be," he said.

She drew a little doodle on his chest with her finger, not looking at him. "But I already am, aren't I?

He considered that. Living in Nashville, alone, made it easy to do what he pleased. He wasn't being watched, not that he had been before, but it was like he was straddling marriage and being single. He'd been married a long time and things changed over time. They both were probably a little complacent. It felt comfortable and familiar and this clearly did not. He kissed her forehead and she looked up at him, a question in her eyes. "No," he said. "You're not a complication at all."

She furrowed her brow. "But what happens…."

He shook his head. "Let's not think too far ahead," he said. "I wanna just be present, focus on right now. If we need to figure something out later, we'll do it then." He kissed her and she responded. Then he pulled back and put his hand on the back of her head. She looked at him, dragging her index finger down his jawline. "I'm all in, Connie Britton. Are you?"

She took a deep breath, then gave him a quiet smile. "I am." She shifted a little bit and her smile widened. "You're hard to resist." Then she laughed. "Or maybe just hard."

He laughed too. She was definitely right about that. So he got busy taking care of that.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: I will confess that I'm not making sure that timing is all correct, like filming time and events that happen outside the show. I hope you'll just go with the flow – the story's the thing, right? I did, however, do a little research around Chip's Opry debut, so I added some of those details. And thanks again for reading!**_

He felt a hand on his shoulder, as he was waiting for a scene to be set up, and turned to see Steve Buchanan. "How you doing, Chip?" he asked.

He grinned and shook Steve's hand. "Good. Great." He liked Steve. The man was unbelievably supportive of the show he'd helped develop and had worked hard to market it both before and since the show started airing.

"So I was wondering if you might like to play the Opry next Saturday night," Steve said, very nonchalantly, as though it was no big deal.

He sucked in his breath. "The real Opry?"

Steve chuckled. "The very one."

"Seriously?" He was in shock. While he loved making music, and playing a musician on the show, Deacon Claybourne was a fictional character. Chip Esten was not an accomplished performer. He'd done some writing and was starting to do more, but he didn't have a repertoire of music and he still considered himself to be a beginner on the guitar. To be asked to perform on the venerable Opry stage was pretty overwhelming.

Steve smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "It would be our pleasure to have you. You can do a couple of the songs Deacon's performed on the show, if you like. Or something else. Your choice, of course. I think you'll be a hit with the crowd."

He felt like crying. It was an honor to be asked and something he'd never expected. The cast had performed on the Opry stage before, most notably for the premiere episode, but this would be the real deal. He wouldn't be doing it as Deacon Claybourne, he'd be doing it as Chip Esten. He couldn't stop smiling. "Yes," he said. "Of course, I'd love to."

"Great. Our booker will reach out with all the details." And then Steve walked off.

He stood there, his fingers in his back pockets, with what he knew was a shit eating grin on his face. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and walked off. "Hey, you're never gonna believe what just happened."

* * *

When he got to her house that night, he was still on a high. She opened the door, a huge smile on her face, holding her arms out, and he walked into her embrace. "I am so excited for you," she said, her arms around his neck. "Have you come down off the high yet?"

He pulled her close and kissed her. "I still can't hardly believe it," he said, with a laugh. "I must've pinched myself a hundred times to make sure I wasn't dreaming."

She kissed him again. "Your Opry debut. Chip, I'm so proud of you." She stepped back and took his hand, leading him back to the kitchen. Yoby was in his high chair and he raised up both hands when he saw him, yelling "Hey!"

He walked over and gave the little boy a kiss on the top of the head. "How you doing, Yobes?" he said, with a grin. Yoby slammed his spoon on the tray and babbled in response. He sat down in a chair next to Connie's son, smiling at the little boy. He was a joyful toddler, fun-loving and mischievous, and he'd fallen in love with him the moment he'd met him. When he looked back at Connie, she had a dreamy smile on her face.

"He'll be ready for bed after this," she said. She went to the fridge and got out a beer, handing it to him. Then she sat across from him with her glass of wine. She had a fake looking smile on her face. "So I guess your family will come?"

He felt a little twist of guilt. It had occurred to him some time later in the day that the first person he'd called after Steve made the ask was Connie. He shook his head. "The kids already have stuff going on. You know, it's sports season and I'd never ask them to miss something." He took a deep breath. "Will you come?"

She ran her finger around the edge of her glass, looking thoughtful. "I would really love to, but I don't think it would be such a good idea."

He felt disappointed, but he knew she was probably right. She was easily recognizable and the two of them out together would certainly raise questions. Questions and chatter he wasn't ready to deal with or subject her to. "I guess."

She got up and walked around the table, sitting down in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You know I would love nothing more than to be there to support you and watch you make your Opry debut. I know what a big moment it is for you and I wish I could do it. But you and I both know we need to be careful."

He sighed, wrapping his arms around her. "I hate not being able to share all this with you."

She kissed him. "I'll listen online. And then you'll just come home and tell me all about it." She blushed as she realized what she'd just said. "You'll come _here_ , I mean."

He pulled her closer. "I knew what you meant," he said, even though he truthfully loved that she'd called it home. Just then Yoby yelled out something unintelligible and they both turned to look at him. The little boy smiled and threw down his spoon, as though announcing he was done. She got up and went to pick her son up from his high chair, settling him on her hip. Then she rubbed his shoulder as she turned towards the stairs and he got up to follow her.

He stood in the doorway of Yoby's room as she got her son ready for bed and then settled him down in his crib. She pulled a blanket up over him and patted him, telling him goodnight and turning on his nightlight. Then she walked to the door to stand with him and she turned back. "Night, night, Yoby," she called out, as she turned out the light. "Don't let the bed bugs bite." As she closed the door, he smiled, reminded of saying the same thing to his kids when they were young. A pang of guilt stabbed at him, but he tried not to focus on it, not wanting his two worlds to collide.

She took his hand as they walked down the hallway towards her bedroom. She looked up at him and smiled. "Now, let's go celebrate your big news." She squeezed his hand and he smiled down at her, feeling grateful to have her in his life.

* * *

Playing the Opry was more than he had ever dreamed it would be. To be doing it at the Ryman was more than he felt like he deserved. He'd gotten well wishes from family and friends, but the truth of the matter was that the call that meant the most had come from Connie. He'd asked her again to come and she gave him the same answer, that it wouldn't be a good idea. Now that the show was airing, he was starting to be more recognizable. The two of them together would have started rampant gossip and rumors, even in a town as notoriously protective of its stars as Nashville was.

When he walked in the artists' entrance, he'd felt like an intruder, but he'd been warmly welcomed by Vince Gill and others would be on stage that night. He had his own dressing room and he had practiced one more time with Colin Linden, who would be on stage with him, in addition to the Opry band. He had decided that, since it was his first time at the Opry and he kind of felt like an interloper or an imposter, that he would sing something that poked a little fun at that. He decided to do 'Act Naturally', a song that many artists had done but had been a hit for Buck Owens, and that he would do it in Buck Owens style. Then he would do a song from the show as his second number.

When he walked out on the stage, he'd gotten a rousing round of applause and it had been a thrill as well as making him feel a little less out of his element. Standing on the stage after his performance had felt like a dream, the applause raining down on him making him almost want to cry. As he was walking off, one of the Opry Square Dancers asked him to join them and, not knowing if it was okay to say no thanks, he'd gone out and danced with them. He'd felt foolish but it also hadn't been a lot different than his days on 'Whose Line Is It Anyway', when he might have been asked to do something similar with no preparation.

When he finally left the stage and headed back to the dressing room, he felt his phone buzz in his back pocket. He pulled it out. _You were amazing._ He smiled, thinking about how she'd been listening at home. He was just grateful she hadn't seen him attempt to square dance, especially after he'd found out the ask was meant as a joke. _Can I buy you a drink?_ He laughed to himself and stopped, responding back. _Absolutely! See you soon._ He headed for the dressing room, chatted with a few people, then packed up his guitar, heading for his car.

The air outside was crisp and cool, the sky clear. He looked up at the Batman Building, lit up in blue, kind of the unofficial symbol of the city. He was still feeling like he was walking on air as he got closer to where he'd parked. He slowed down as he approached. She was standing there, wearing a dark coat and a fedora, leaning against the driver's side of his car with her legs crossed at the ankles. She lifted her hand in a wave. He walked up, shaking his head in surprise. "What are you doing here?" he asked, putting one hand on her waist and leaning in for a kiss.

She smiled, gleeful she had surprised him. "There was no way in the world I was gonna miss this," she said. "But I didn't want you worrying the whole time." She put her hand on his neck and kissed him again. "You looked like a natural up there." She turned and headed for the other side of the car. "Now let's get out of here."

When he pulled out of the parking lot, he turned to her, grabbing her hand. "I'm running on adrenaline," he said.

She laughed. "I'll bet." She nodded towards the windshield. "Let's go to Patterson House. I can get us a corner space and we can have a couple drinks and maybe I'll let you feel me up a little."

He lifted her hand to his lips and then smiled. "I like that idea. A lot."

* * *

She had whiskey and he had a beer. They held hands. He told her all about how it felt to stand on that stage. She told him about what a thrill it had been to watch him from the back of the Ryman. He told her hoped he'd been good enough that they'd ask him back. She told him never to square dance again if they did. He told her about a place he'd found along the Harpeth River that was secluded and where he'd like to take her. She told him about all the things she wanted him to do to her that night. He ran his hand up her side and stroked her breast. She put her hand between his legs and wouldn't let go until he threw down some money and then hurried her out to the car.

They kissed in the car until the windows fogged up and then he finally drove them to her house.

* * *

He waited again in the garage until he heard the nanny leave, then hurried into the house and raced up the stairs to the kitchen. She was waiting for him and pulled him into a frantic, urgent embrace, kissing him until they were both breathless. When she pulled her lips from his, she reached down and pulled at his belt and then unzipped his jeans, as he pulled her blouse out of her waistband. She was pushing at his jeans as he unzipped hers. Then he turned her to face the counter and worked her jeans down to the top of her boots. She was breathing hard as she leaned forward and he groaned as he thrust into her.

"Oh, God," she moaned, as she pressed herself back towards him. "Please, please," she begged, urging him on.

He didn't take much urging. He was as turned on as she was and he was already right on the edge. It only took a few long, powerful thrusts and they both came explosively. She rested on her elbows on the counter as she caught her breath, which just gave him a great view of her beautiful backside. He leaned over her and brushed his lips against her back, until they both were breathing normally. Then he turned her around to face him, pressing his lips to hers for a long, slow kiss.

Then he helped her pull up her jeans and he zipped his own back up and they walked hand in hand up the stairs. He waited by the door while she checked on Yoby and then she came back and took his hand, smiling at him a little shyly, and they headed for her bedroom.

* * *

Much later, they were laying on the bed facing each other. His back was to the window, so the muted moonlight cast shadows across her face. He could still see the sparkle in her eyes and her gentle smile. He reached out and traced his finger down her nose to her lips, then over to her ear and finally her bare shoulder. He still couldn't quite believe he was the one in her life, in her bed.

She consumed almost every space in his life these days. He thought about her constantly, spent every spare moment with her. He was grateful there were no other real distractions, which allowed them to be together almost whenever they wanted. The thrill of it all still wasn't over for him and he suspected not for her either. He could feel himself get turned on whenever he was on set with her and he could tell, by the look on her face and the flush that crossed her cheeks, that she was too.

She leaned in then and kissed him, a kiss that lingered and deepened. She moved closer to him. She smiled when he pressed himself against her and then she took his hand and guided it to that warm, welcoming place between her legs. He sucked in his breath when he felt how wet she was. Without preamble, he rolled her onto her back and took her quickly.

* * *

With his family so far away, it didn't often intrude into the pleasure bubble he had with Connie. But as he drove back to his apartment the next day, he knew he was still walking a tightrope. Connie had been downstairs with Yoby, fixing the toddler's breakfast, when he came out of the shower to get dressed. He glanced down at his phone on the dresser as he buttoned up his shirt. He had turned the ringer to silent after he'd gotten to Connie's house the night before and he noticed the line of missed calls and texts from his wife. It was times like these that he realized just how frequently he pushed his entire family from his mind and then the guilt would feel almost suffocating.

He had stood looking at his phone, contemplating sending a text, but it was early in Nashville, which meant it was even earlier in LA, so he had pocketed his phone and gone downstairs to have coffee with Connie and Yoby.

He'd been struck by what a family feel her kitchen had that morning. Sitting at the table, with Yoby holding court, and Connie sitting across the table from him, had felt like home. It had literally taken his breath away for a moment to think about how much that was what he wanted, how much it had felt like what had been missing in his life for the past few years. He loved his family, but this woman, and this feeling, was what he'd been yearning for, if he were honest with himself.

He had sent a text before he'd hit the road and wasn't surprised when a call came through as he was pulling into the parking garage. He felt like a vise was around his chest, keeping him from breathing, although his heart was pounding. The guilt consumed him then and his hands felt clammy. As he connected the phone, he could tell his hands were shaking. He forced a smile on his face.

"Hey, sweetie. Sorry I forgot to turn the phone back on last night."


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Just a reminder that this is AU and does require suspending whatever reality you believe for the sake of story. Thanks for reading and I appreciate all of the reviews and comments! Glad to have you along for this ride.**_

He was sitting in Rayna's bedroom, looking over his script. Connie wasn't working that day and he only had a half day, but his day hadn't started until late. He'd taken a songwriting meeting that morning and had been incredibly inspired, even if he'd only been able to come up with a few lines of his own. He'd had a feeling this music thing was going to be special and he wanted to immerse himself in it as much as he could. He liked talking to Connie about it and she was not only an incredibly good listener, but she was the perfect sounding board.

He stopped what he was doing and looked around the set. He never had scenes here – it was Rayna and Teddy's bedroom, after all. Even the dream scene was filmed elsewhere on the set. But it was another quiet place to sit and wait. He glanced over at the bed, wondering if Rayna and Deacon would ever get the chance to be together in that bed. Then he smiled and shook his head. Deacon would never want to sleep where Teddy had slept and, even with Rayna now separated from Teddy, it didn't seem like the writers were planning to put Deacon and Rayna together anyway. Yet.

At the end of the week, they would be on a Thanksgiving break. Ten days off. Ten days without Connie. Of course, he'd have time with his family. It would be good to see his kids, get caught up on everything they were doing. The family would be spending the holiday in northern Virginia, with his mother and sister, just like they did every year. Christmas was with his wife's family. They would finish up episode fifteen when they came back from Thanksgiving, then would be off for five weeks. Thinking about all that time without being able to see Connie made him feel depressed.

Just then his phone buzzed and he held it up and smiled. He'd taken the picture of Connie and Yoby on their Bluebird set. It was a favorite. Yoby was sitting on her lap, mid-laugh, his hands up in the air. She had pressed her face next to his and she had a beautiful smile that lit up her face. She'd had on very little makeup, as they were rehearsing the scene where Rayna sang to Deacon at his birthday party, so her face almost seemed to glow. Her eyes sparkled and he could see the freckles that danced across her nose. He held the phone to his ear, a smile on his own face. "Hey."

"Hey there. How's it going?" She sounded a little wired, but he thought that was probably due to Yoby's antics.

He grimaced. "Slow. We're running behind."

She laughed, sounding almost giddy somehow. "So what else is new?" That was true. It was almost a joke around the set anymore that they were never on time. He felt bad for the extras, who often had to sit around for hours waiting to film a tiny scene. He always tried to take some time to meet them when he could, letting them know how appreciated they were. "So you have no idea when you'll be done?"

He shook his head. "Unfortunately no. I think originally it was supposed to be seven, but I don't see that happening."

She didn't say anything for a second. "Is this the scene with that, you know, um, new…."

He smiled to himself, understanding now why she was calling and why she sounded the way she did. He had a scene with the new love interest for Deacon. He chuckled. "Yes, I do have my big sex scene today." She made a noise on the other end. "Except there's no sexy time in it though," he said, teasingly.

She made a huffing noise. "I swear, I don't know why they keep wanting to put obstacles between Deacon and Rayna."

"It's called sexual tension, baby. You know that." He laughed. "It's like you've never been in the television business before."

"Stop it, Chip," she said, trying to scold him, but not very successfully. "I've just never had a… _relationship_ with my costar before. It just feels, I don't know, weird to think about you being in bed with someone else."

He laughed out loud. "You know I'm not actually in bed with her, right? Everybody's basically dressed." He'd been nervous though, doing the scene without a shirt on. She had teased him to death about that. He bit his lip. "You're the only one who gets to see me with nothing on, you know that."

She sighed. "Yeah, well…." That wasn't exactly true though, but he just stayed silent. She cleared her throat. "Anyway, you're still coming over, right?"

"Absolutely. I'll call when I leave the set."

"I bought something for us to try."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really? Does it have a battery? Do I use it on you or do you use it on me?"

"Chip!" She sounded horrified and then she laughed. He smiled. For someone who was so worldly and sophisticated in most ways, she was surprisingly old-fashioned in matters of the heart. While the sex had been adventuresome and exciting, she still liked cuddling and kissing and snuggling afterwards. Not that there was anything wrong with that. He definitely liked all that part too. "No. Not anything like that. Although now you have me thinking." She laughed again. "Actually, I bought this really nice bourbon. Belle Meade bourbon, if you can believe that. I had some at Sheryl's the other night and it's quite good."

He smiled. If he got her to drink enough bourbon, she might agree to get something with a battery in it. "Can't wait to try it," he said. He heard his name over the PA. "Hey, baby, they're calling me to set. Maybe we won't be too late after all."

* * *

He was late though. It was after eight when he got in his car. He called her as he was pulling out of the parking lot. "Just leaving now," he said when she answered.

"Okay. Well, I'll have Yoby in bed before you get here, so just knock, okay?"

"So, can you put on that little blousy thing you had on the other day?"

"What blousy thing?"

"I don't know. It was kind of like a sweater or something. Blue." She'd had on a really pretty something that looked almost like a blanket and it draped over her and felt very soft. It was a pretty blue color that highlighted the deep blue of her eyes and made her hair look almost fiery.

She laughed softly. "Oh, I know what you're talking about."

He smirked. "And don't wear a bra."

"Sounds like that scene was little sexier than you thought, huh?"

He shook his head and chuckled. "Actually it just means I'm looking forward to seeing you. Look, I'm getting ready to get on the highway, so I'll see you soon."

* * *

When she opened the door, he was pleased to see she was wearing the top he'd asked her to. She had her hair pulled back into a loose bun and her glasses on. He stepped into the foyer and closed the door behind him, pulling her into his arms and kissing her. He slid his hands under the back of the blouse and smiled against her lips as he encountered her braless back. He pulled his lips from hers and took a step back, moving his hands around to cup her breasts, rubbing her nipples with his thumbs. She bit her bottom lip, as she looked into his eyes, her hands gripping his biceps.

He smiled at her. "So, you got some fancy bourbon, huh?" he said, as he tweaked one nipple.

She made a little noise and tilted her head back just a bit, then cleared her throat. "Uh, yeah," she said, her voice breathy. She cleared her throat again, then pushed back from him, forcing him to let her go. She took a deep breath and then smiled a little self-consciously. He was sure she knew he could see that her nipples were hard beneath the soft material. "So, you want to try some?"

He laughed a little. "Sure, we can try some." She turned to walk back towards her den and he grabbed her arm, then slid his arm around her waist. He leaned into her ear. "My hot little librarian," he whispered and she giggled, smiling up at him.

They sat on the loveseat and she poured each of them a glass of the caramel brown bourbon. She handed him a glass. "It's very smooth," she said. "No burn. And it's actually made here in Nashville."

"In Belle Meade?"

She shook her head, lifting the glass to her lips and taking a sip. "Actually kind of close to downtown, I understand." She grinned. "But it sounds like something Lamar would drink, doesn't it?"

He had to laugh. "Yeah. And definitely not the low rent stuff Deacon would be used to." He lifted the glass and took a swallow. She was right, it was smooth, with a spiciness to it he hadn't expected. "Good stuff," he said.

She smiled. "I thought you'd like it." She turned then and curled up against him, drawing her knees up. He reached his arm around her and she lifted up her hand and linked her fingers with his, leaning her head against his shoulder.

They drank quietly and he rubbed his thumb over her hand, occasionally kissing her temple. They finished the first glass and had a second. Then he took her glass from her hand and set them both on the coffee table, then added her glasses. He turned towards her and slid his hand under her bottom, flipping her onto her back and leaning her against the arm of the loveseat. She had on yoga pants, which he slid off easily. He shifted so that he could unzip his pants, then eased himself into her as she linked her hands behind his neck.

She crossed her legs over his back, pulling him in closer. She gazed steadily into his eyes, her tongue touching the rosebud of her upper lip. Her hips rose and fell with his thrusts, slowly at first, then building in pace and urgency. She tightened her legs and arched herself into him, panting with her need. He couldn't stop looking at her, his own excitement building as he watched her. He had his hands on her waist and slid them up and under her top. He rolled her nipples between his finger and thumb, increasing the pressure as he quickened his pace. She started to moan and her head tilted back and her eyes closed and she arched into him one last time as she cried out. He felt her pulsing around him and he let go, groaning loudly.

He could feel her relax and she slid her hands down his arms and, opening her eyes, looked back at him, a satisfied smile on her face. He leaned down and kissed her hard, then smiled. "Mm," he said. "Whiskey lips." Then he ran his tongue over her lips, tasting the hint of caramel and vanilla. He chuckled softly. "Those whiskey lips are gonna be my weakness." She smiled up at him, that light flush giving her a satisfied glow. He smoothed the hair back from her face and kissed her gently before he got up from the couch.

* * *

They both had early calls, so he reluctantly headed back to his apartment before eleven. As they stood at the door, kissing each other goodnight, she seemed to cling to him, not wanting to let him go. She reached up and brushed the hair off his forehead with her fingers. "I'm gonna bring Yoby with me tomorrow," she said. She smiled, wrinkling her nose. "I know the dog is gonna be there tomorrow and he loves the dog."

The yellow lab puppy who played his dog, Sue, was going to be on set for two scenes. He grinned. " _Yoby_ loves the dog?" he asked.

She blushed. "Okay, I love the dog too."

He brushed her lips with his. "What I think is that you want to be able to keep your eye on that scene in the vet's office," he whispered.

She swatted his arm. "That's not true," she said, making a face.

"It _is_ true," he countered, teasingly. "Admit it, Connie, you're jealous."

She shook her head. "I've told you, I'm not jealous." She shrugged and looked up at him. "I just like to, you know, keep my eye…."

"On me?"

"No." She shook her head again. "No. That makes it seem like I own you. Like I have a claim to you." She gave him a serious look. "Which I don't."

He breathed in sharply. They had mostly stayed away from conversation about their status and his family. He frowned. "You have a right to care, Connie," he said. She raised her shoulders and looked away. He put his index finger under her chin and turned her back to look at him. "You do. You have as much right as anyone. Maybe more." He gave her a nod. "Don't ever question that. It's not a throwaway thing. This is real." He swallowed hard. "This is the most real thing in my life right now."

She put her hands on his face and drew him to her for a kiss. "Thank you," she whispered. "That's how I feel too." Then he put his hand on the back of her head and drew her into an embrace, holding her tight. He knew they needed to talk about the relationship and the future, but he didn't even know really how to start that conversation.

* * *

He and the actress who played Stacey were waiting for the lighting to get set when Connie stuck her head around the corner. "Hello there," she said, a happy smile on her face. He couldn't help but smile at her. Then he saw Yoby poke his head around, putting his hand on Connie's leg. "Is the dog here?"

Susan, the actress playing Stacey, smiled at Yoby. "He's in his crate over there," she said, pointing off stage. She leaned down, her hands on her knees. "Who is this adorable little man?"

"This is my son, Yoby," Connie said. "He loves the puppy. We have dogs at home and he just loves them." Susan was totally focused on Yoby and Connie stood up, looking at him, her eyes seeming to signal things were good. She looked back down at Yoby. "Yobes, let's go find the puppy. Want to?" Yoby clapped his hands and grinned and Connie took his hand and led him off. Just before she rounded the corner, she looked back over her shoulder at him, a tiny smile on her face. He had to work hard to keep a happy smile off his.

* * *

He was walking through the soundstage, headed for his trailer, when she stepped out from behind a set wall. He pulled up short. "Hey," she said, with a hesitant smile.

"Hey," he said, smiling back.

She crooked her finger and led him back to a darkened area not being used that day. He was a little nervous about her intentions but she just pulled on his jacket sleeve as they went further back. Then she stopped and crossed her arms over her chest. "So, I think I got a little maudlin last night," she said.

He laughed a little and shook his head. "Baby, you were fine."

She shrugged and made a face. "No, I really don't think I was. You were right. I did sound jealous. And that was silly of me." She sighed. "You matter to me too, you know? I mean, I'm emotionally involved. _Seriously_ emotionally involved."

He nodded. "I know."

She waved one hand in front of her face. "I'm not really sure how to say this."

He reached out and put his hands on her arms. "Don't then. Let me. Okay?" She looked at him and nodded. He breathed out. "This is not some short-term thing. It's not a fling. It matters. It's real." He waved a hand between the two of them. " _We're_ real. As real as it gets. I didn't know this would happen and I don't think you did either, no matter what you said." He gave her a tiny smile. "But it did and it's because there's something real between us. A connection. And we're gonna figure this out. Maybe not today or tomorrow or a year from now, but we will. And until we do, I want you to be part of my life and I hope you want the same."

She nodded. "I do, Chip."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, then we're gonna make this work. And we're gonna see each other as much as we can, as often as we can, and we'll figure out the rest." He looked at her intently. "Like I said last night, you've got a right to care." He put a hand over his heart. "You've got my heart."

A shy smile spread over her face. "And you have mine."

He let go of her arms and smiled. "Good." He heard his name over the PA and he stopped to listen. Then he looked back at her. "Don't ever forget that then." He raised an eyebrow. "Whiskey lips." She smiled again, with a look a look in her eyes that told him she was all in.


	8. Chapter 8

He found her sitting in Rayna's dressing room. She had her glasses on with her hair pulled back and she was reading. He leaned against the wall and smiled at her. "Hey."

She looked up, then around, then back at him, a smile on her face. "Hey." She put her book down on the dressing table. "You done?"

He put one hand in his pocket and nodded. "Yeah. How much longer you got?"

She sighed. "A while. I've got those scenes with Maddie being a little piss ant" – she smiled – "and then the Katie Couric thing." She touched her hair. "I love how they have me in a plain old ponytail and then they're gonna turn around and make it look all glam for fake TV." She made a face. "A lot of time in hair today, for sure." She gave him a coy little smile. "You and the vet sure have good chemistry. I saw the film of you asking her out and boy, she looks smitten."

He rolled his eyes and laughed. "That's ridiculous and you know it," he said.

"Oh, really? You looked all adorably awkward asking, sweetheart." She grinned.

He moved so he was standing closer to her. "You know that's Deacon forcing himself, right? Trying super hard to have chemistry with someone who's not Rayna." He looked around and leaned towards her. "And all Chip can think about is _Connie_ ," he said, lowering his voice so no one would be able to hear what he said. "So that's what that is."

She smiled shyly. "You do know how to make a girl swoon," she said.

He smirked. "Maybe I should ask you about your chemistry with Michiel, while we're talking about that."

She shook her head and blushed. "Stop. I mean, he _is_ hot, but he sure doesn't make me laugh or make me feel the way you do."

He took a deep breath and they held each other's gaze for a moment. "So, uh, what time you think you're getting out of here?"

She bit down on her lip. "I'll call you."

He took a step closer and stood next to the chair she was sitting in, surreptitiously running his finger along the skin of her upper arm. "I'll be waiting," he whispered. It was the last night of filming before the Thanksgiving break. His family would come to Nashville for the weekend and then they were headed to DC. He knew Connie and Yoby were going to LA, so he wanted to see her, no matter how late it was.

She looked up at him. "No matter how late."

* * *

It was nearly eleven when she finally called. "I'm so sorry," she said. "Katie was late getting in."

"It's okay." He was already pulling on his jacket as he held his phone between his cheek and his shoulder. "I know with people like that, they have to get it in." He heard her sigh and stopped short of the door. "You tired?" He held his breath. He wanted to see her – _needed_ to see her – but he wouldn't push.

"I am. It's been a long week. Hold on." He waited, hearing the sound of the car accelerating. "Sorry, I was getting on 65. So yes, I'm exhausted. But please still come."

He grabbed his keys and smiled to himself. "I'm on my way, baby," he said, and they hung up. He jogged out to the parking garage and got into his car, driving fast out onto the street.

* * *

He drove up just as she was pulling into her garage. He pulled in next to her and he got out of his car as she let the garage door down. She had changed into jeans and a flannel shirt, taking off her makeup and pulling her hair back. Just the way he liked. He walked up to her and pulled her in for a hug, then let her go so she could say goodbye to the nanny. When he heard the car leave, he opened the door and headed up the stairs.

She was in Yoby's room and he walked up and stood beside her next to his bed. She looked up at him and smiled, but he could see she was tired. He put his arm around her shoulders as they both looked back down at Yoby. She had just gotten him a step up bed and he'd been thrilled about it. The first night he'd been in it, he'd begged for them to join him, so they had. They'd read him books and talked to him about his day. His vocabulary was expanding all the time, which made him even more fun to be around.

He had to admit he loved how happy Yoby always was to see him whenever he came over. And the way the little boy's face would light up and how he threw his arms around his neck, the same way his own kids had when they were younger. That's when he would feel the pain of potentially hurting them, though, and it was the one thing that gave him pause. But then he'd look at Connie and he knew he was in this for the duration.

Yoby was sound asleep, so he took her hand and led her out of the room. He started towards her bedroom, but she pulled him the other way, towards the stairs. "I'd like to unwind a little bit, if that's okay," she said. He nodded, putting his arm around her and walking downstairs with her. She turned on the gas fireplace and dimmed the lights a little. Then she poured two glasses of whiskey and brought them with her. She handed him one glass and then sat down next to him, curling up against his side. She took a sip of her whiskey and he put his hand on the back of her head, drawing her a little closer. "This feels nice," she said.

"Mm hm," he said, taking a swallow of his drink. It did feel nice, like home. He suddenly felt an ache, a yearning feeling almost. Sitting here with her, with the fire, just being together, felt like right where he belonged. He leaned down and pressed his lips against the top of her head. He wanted to stay here, with her, and never leave. He wanted to be here every day, making this life with her. He knew that without question.

She rubbed her hand along his leg, leaning her head a little closer to his shoulder. She took another sip of her drink, then said, her voice soft, "I wish we could do this all the time."

He felt a lump in his throat, hearing her echo back his own thoughts, and she turned back to look up at him. He kissed her forehead. "It feels good to be here," he said.

"It scares me a little, Chip," she said.

He frowned. "Scares you? How come?"

She looked down. "It scares me that I'll get too, I don't know, invested or emotionally involved or _something_." She sighed. "And that something will happen and, you know, you'll…."

He slid his arm around her shoulder and fisted his hand against her collarbone. "This feels right, Connie. That's all I can tell you right now. Being with you feels, well, it makes me happier than I've been in a long time."

She sighed. "But."

He frowned. "No buts."

She turned and sat sideways on the couch, facing him, cross-legged. She drained her glass and then set it on the coffee table. "I know we're not really talking future here." He frowned and started to contradict her, but she held up her hand. "Not now, anyway, but there's a reality we need to face, Chip. And that's that, if the show is renewed, your family will probably come here. I don't think they'll want this long distance thing another year. Have you thought about what that means?"

He breathed in deeply, then he drank the rest of his whiskey. Then he sighed. "My parents divorced when I was a kid. I was nine and my mom moved us to Virginia, me and my sister. I guess that's just really stuck with me, you know? I hate the idea of my kids going through that, even though I get that they're older and they would understand more than I did. But these are important years for them and" – he shook his head – "it's hard. And I guess I feel like I should sacrifice for them." He could see the understanding in her eyes and he hoped it didn't end them.

She put a hand on his arm. "I don't want to be an impediment," she said.

He shook his head. "You're not." He rubbed his face with his hands. "I guess I see this as a journey, not a sprint. I can't see the future and I don't know how it will all play out, but I'm in this for the long haul." He swallowed. "I don't want to hurt you though." He traced his eyes over her face and he could see the exhaustion in her eyes. He reached out and ran a hand down her arm. "I know you're tired, baby. I can see it. Maybe I should go."

She grabbed his hand. "No. I don't want you to go. This is the last time I'll see you until after the holiday." She gave him a tiny smile. "I've got a week and a half to sleep. I don't need to tonight."

He ran his hand down her arm and linked his fingers in hers. "So my dad wasn't around all the time. I mean, I went to see him in the summer and at holidays, but it's not the same. He wasn't there for activities and to help with homework and to talk about girls." He sighed. "I just remember there were times I really could have used him to be a sounding board…."

She smiled sadly. "And he wasn't there." He shook his head. "I understand. I really do. You know, I see how much you love Yoby already, so I can only imagine what it's like with your own kids."

"I want to be with you." He looked at her. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Her eyes softened and she nodded. "I do."

He heard something in her voice, though, something that told him she wanted to ask but either didn't know how or felt like she shouldn't. But he didn't want there to be any uncertainties between them and he wanted to tell her the truth. He sat forward, leaning closer to her. "So you know about my daughter – Addie – having cancer when she was little." She nodded. "It was a really tough time. It can break a marriage, to have a sick child, or it can draw you closer together." She was looking at him very seriously. "Or it can land somewhere in between." He breathed in. "Some things changed. It was hard and it didn't always bring out the best in us. I still loved her, but it wasn't the same. It's been…familiar. Comfortable." He thought about how, even if they didn't have this relationship, that it felt good to finally talk about it. Tell someone all the things he'd been feeling for all these years.

She let go of his hand and got up, picking up their glasses and walking over to the bar to refill them. She came back and handed him his glass and sat down next to him. "I thought we could use this," she said, laying her hand on his leg.

He took a long swallow and let the whiskey roll down his throat, the heat flooding his body. He put his arm around her shoulders. "This thing between us" – he held out his index finger, waving the glass between them – "feels different, from anything I've felt before." He smiled. "You're sexy and exciting and I love every minute we're together." She gave him a shy smile. "But we can be real with each other too. That's the best part. You're smart and you're funny and you challenge me in ways I've never been before. It feels like you're my partner. Like we're a team." He took another swallow. "Nothing changed because of you, Connie. You just fit in the place where there was a hole."

He could see something in her eyes, across her face, and he wasn't sure what to make of it. Finally she leaned over and put her glass on the table and then she took his and set it down next to hers. Then she moved into his lap, putting her arms around his neck, and pressing her lips to his. He put his arms around her and pulled her close and opened his mouth, as their tongues battled each other. She pressed herself a little closer, wrapping her arms around his neck a little more. He slid his hands up under the back of the shirt she was wearing, feeling the warmth of her skin.

She pulled her lips from his and looked deeply into his eyes, hers dark with emotion. "Can you stay?" He nodded. There was nothing he wanted more. She got up from his lap then and took his hand, pulling him up from the couch. She picked up the glasses on the coffee table and he grabbed the whiskey and then she led him across the room and up the stairs.

* * *

He could tell it was light outside when he woke up, but still early. He opened his eyes wide for a moment, then closed them again. His arm was around her waist, one leg between hers. He remembered she had pulled her hair to the side, tucked under her head, so he could see her neck and ear. He opened his eyes again and leaned in and pressed his lips against her shoulder. She made a noise and then stretched. She turned over so that she was facing him and smiled sleepily. He put his arm around her and pulled her close.

"Is it morning?" she asked, her voice groggy with sleep.

He smiled. "I think so."

She wrinkled her nose. "When did we go to sleep?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Maybe an hour ago?"

"Really? That's all?" She looked surprised.

He smiled. "Probably a little longer than that. But not long."

She groaned. "We're too old for staying up all night, Chip," she said.

He laughed. "Yeah, I suppose we are." He leaned in and rubbed his nose against hers. " _You_ were the one with the late night though."

She grinned. "Yeah, I guess that's true." She ran her hand up his back. "I'm almost afraid to get out of bed. Did we drink _all_ that whiskey?"

He lifted his head a bit and looked over her at the almost empty bottle on her bedside table, then laid his head back on the pillow. "'Fraid so," he said.

"I guess we had a lot to talk about, huh?" She made a face.

"I think it was more me than we," he said.

She let her hand drift down over his hip. "Maybe," she said thoughtfully. He was conscious of her skin against his, her breasts pressed against his chest, her hair all messy around her face in a very sexy way. She looked at him, a lazy smile on her face, and then she leaned in and kissed him. He savored the kiss, running his hand down her arm.

And then they were interrupted. "Mama!" came Yoby's voice over the baby monitor. She pulled away and groaned, rolling onto her back.

He raised up on his elbow. "I'll get him," he said. "You can stay here a little longer."

She looked over at him and frowned. "No, it's okay."

He pushed up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "I'll do it," he said again, more firmly. He reached for his clothes and quickly got dressed, then turned to look at her. She had propped herself on one elbow, pulling the sheet up close to her neck. Her eyes still looked sleepy and her hair was draped around her shoulders in messy waves. She looked unbelievably sexy and, for a moment, he hated leaving her.

"Maybe I'll take a shower then," she said. He nodded, not able to speak, he was so entranced by her. She smiled, a slow, knowing smile. "He's really into oatmeal right now."

He smiled back at her. "Oatmeal it is then," he said, clapping his hands together. Then he turned and walked out of the bedroom and down to Yoby's.

When he opened the door to Yoby's room, the little boy jumped up and raised his hands over his head. "Chip!" he shouted.

He couldn't help but grin as he walked over and picked Yoby up. "How you doing, Mr. Yoby?" he asked.

* * *

She padded into the kitchen, her damp hair combed back off her face, wearing a plush white robe. He was sitting at the table as Yoby was working on his oatmeal and turned to look at her. "Mama!" Yoby cried out when he saw her.

She smiled, walking over to him and planting a kiss on his head. "Hey there, Yobes," she said. "Uncle Chip taking care of you?"

Yoby smiled broadly. "Yes!" he shouted, then dug back into his oatmeal.

He had gotten up from the table and poured her some coffee. He held out the mug. "Coffee?" he asked.

She came and took the mug in both hands, smiling up at him. "Thank you," she said. She took a sip. "This is perfect." She reached her hand up and put it on his cheek. "Thanks for getting up with him."

He smiled. "My pleasure." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her on the forehead. "I should go," he said quietly. His family wouldn't be in Nashville until late afternoon, but he needed to get the apartment in order.

She nodded, her eyes suddenly sad. She set down her mug and took his hand. "I'll miss you," she said.

"It's just ten days," he said. "It'll be over before we know it."

"Maybe, but it still is a long time." It would be the longest amount of time they wouldn't see each other, by a long shot.

She walked him to the steps that led to the garage. He hated leaving. "I'll call. Or text."

She bit her lip. "Maybe you shouldn't." He frowned and she shook her head. "I just don't want you to take any chances." He wasn't sure he liked the idea, but thought she might be right.

He pulled her close and kissed her, like he was trying to commit the feel and taste of her to memory, so it would last him the whole ten days. When he pulled away, her eyes were glistening with tears and he felt a lump in his throat. "Happy Thanksgiving," he choked out.

She nodded and tried to smile, rubbing one eye with the heel of her hand. "You too," she whispered.

He turned and hustled down the stairs before he lost his nerve.


	9. Chapter 9

It was Thanksgiving morning and he'd gotten up early for a run. It was crisp and a little chilly, cooler than it was in Nashville, and there was a light wind. He'd gotten back into running with Eric Close when they'd started filming. They'd been longtime friends, but with work and families, hadn't seen each other a lot in recent years. So both being on the same show, and without their families in town, had been a gift. Eric had been the more dedicated runner and had pushed him to run more regularly. Now he found he enjoyed it and he particularly enjoyed the solitude of it.

As he ran down the trail in the park near his mom's house, his thoughts, as they had every morning since they'd been here, went to his complicated life. He missed Connie. Felt an ache in his heart, he missed her so much. There were days, in Nashville, they didn't see each other, when one or the other was on set and the other was not, but it had been almost a week and he really missed her. He had made himself focus on his family since they had arrived from LA. They had spent a couple days in Nashville, going to the Country Music Hall of Fame, to the Parthenon, to Percy Warner Park, getting them more acquainted with the city. Then they had driven to northern Virginia, their annual gathering with his side of the family. He usually enjoyed the holiday week, but this time he felt empty.

He suddenly stopped and walked off into the grass, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He stood looking at it. They had agreed it wasn't a good idea to phone or text. Too much opportunity for someone to notice. Well, _she_ had thought it wasn't a good idea. He wondered what she and Yoby were doing. He knew she was spending time with friends, but he found himself hoping she wasn't having too much fun. He quickly wrote out a text. _Happy Turkey Day. Miss you._ He debated sending it but then he decided not to overthink it and pressed send. He stood there, looking at his phone, as though she would text back immediately. But it was early in LA, probably too early.

He started to put his phone back in his pocket when he got a ping to indicate a text. He looked at it. _Miss you so much it hurts. Can't wait to see you._ He couldn't help but smile. He opened up the text, looked at the message again, and then deleted the exchange. He put the phone back in his pocket and stood for a moment, breathing in, feeling a mix of happiness and longing, then headed back for the trail to complete his jog.

* * *

He drove back to Nashville alone, his family flying back to LA from DC. It gave him plenty of time to think. Taylor, his oldest, had told him she wasn't sure she wanted to move if the show was renewed. He understood – it would be her senior year – but the thought of only seeing his kids on the weekends for another year was not appealing. Even knowing the tightrope he'd have to walk with them being in Nashville, he had felt a little out of step with them in the six months he'd been gone. There was still time for her to come around, but he also knew she was stubborn and could dig her heels in, and it wouldn't surprise him if she did. He smiled to himself when he thought about her. She'd been willful since the day she was born, something that he and his wife had shaken their heads over often. His son and other daughter were both the exact opposite, easy-going and chill. But Taylor was driven and intensely focused. She had told them they could leave her in LA, if it came to that, but it wasn't an option in his mind.

He wasn't due back on set until Tuesday. He'd be working with Connie that day, doing the scenes in the hospital after Maddie's accident. He couldn't wait to see her. She had texted him that she and Yoby were coming home a day early, that she had some re-shoots on scenes with Lennon Stella. He smiled as he thought about her, hoping he might get to see her before Tuesday, thinking there was a good chance he would.

* * *

He had just hit Knoxville and the sun was low in the sky. It was another three hours to Nashville, so it would be dark when he got there. His phone rang and he saw it was Connie. "Hey, baby," he said with a smile.

"Hey. Where are you?"

"Just driving through Knoxville. You back in Nashville?"

"Yeah, we just got our bags and we're waiting on a cab. What time do you think you'll be back here?"

He looked at the clock and tried to calculate. "It's about three hours so, with the time change, maybe around seven?"

"That's a long drive though. I'm betting you're really tired."

He smiled. "What were you thinking? If I wasn't tired."

She laughed softly. "I was thinking you might like to stop by for a bit. I have to be on set early, so it couldn't be a late night." She paused. "But you'd probably like to go to sleep when you get back."

"And miss seeing you?"

"Well, it has been more than a week and I have really, really missed you, so I was hoping maybe you could come by maybe for a minute. But I would understand if you were just too tired." He could hear the smile in her voice.

"Just for a minute, huh?"

She laughed again. "Well, I'm just thinking you might fall asleep or something. And I don't want you to fall asleep driving home or anything."

"What are you suggesting exactly?"

"Well" – she drew out the word – "I suppose you could come by and we could catch up on our holiday stories and, I don't know, maybe you'd just need to spend the night or something?" She phrased it as a question, but he knew it was anything but.

He laughed. "So if I understand you correctly, you'd like for me to drive to your house, tell you all about my week and you'd tell me all about yours, and then I'd get to, what, spend the night in your guest room?"

"Not in my guest room."

"But I thought you had an early call."

"Well, I do, but I just flew across country, so I'm kind of tired too. I didn't think we'd chat for long."

He smiled to himself. "Ah, I see." He paused. "Well, I guess I could do that. It does have its appeal. Especially if I get to sleep in your bed."

"You just can't keep me up too late."

"Well, Connie, I'd say that you might have a little something to say about that. I mean, once you get me in your bed and all. You can be quite, um, insatiable."

"Oh, shut up," she said, laughing. He could picture her blushing. "Just come over, silly."

He chuckled. "I will do that."

"Okay, the cab is here and you need to concentrate on driving. I'll see you soon."

He hung up feeling happier than he'd felt in more than a week.

* * *

He'd been a little heavy on the accelerator, but it was still closer to seven-thirty than seven before he'd finally made it to Connie's house. Traffic on the Sunday after Thanksgiving was heavier than he'd expected and he'd found himself getting irritated as he got closer and traffic thickened. When he finally pulled in her driveway, he'd jumped out of his car and hurried up the steps to the porch without even getting his bag out of the car. He knocked, in case Yoby was already asleep, and it was almost as if she'd been standing watching for him.

When she opened the door, he didn't even really take time to look at her, just stepped into the foyer and scooped her up in his arms, kissing her urgently. She lifted her legs up and wrapped them around his waist, pushing the door closed with her foot, as she continued to kiss him hungrily, her fingers threaded in his hair. He slid one hand under her bottom to anchor her. He never wanted to let her go.

When she finally pulled her lips from his, she unhooked her legs and he let her slide down to the floor. He pulled her closer and she arched her back slightly as he kissed her again. Finally he just wrapped his arms around her back as she leaned her head against his chest. He lowered his head and pressed his lips to her hair. "I missed you so much," she murmured. She lifted her head from his chest and looked up at him. "That was the longest nine days ever."

He nodded. "I thought about you every day."

She smiled, then stepped back, taking his hand in hers. "Are you hungry?" she asked, looking like she hoped he'd say no.

He reached his other hand up and ran his knuckles gently over her cheek. "Just for you," he said. And with that, she turned and led him to the stairs and up to her bedroom.

* * *

He woke up with a start when the alarm started to beep. It wasn't loud, but loud enough. The room was still dark. She made a little noise, her head on his chest, her hand at his waist, and one leg draped between his. He moved his arms so that they were wrapped around her, his hands crossed on her back. He breathed in slowly. She raised her head and he could see her smile in the dim light. She moved so that she could drape herself over him and hit the alarm. He groaned involuntarily as her breasts scraped across his chest.

She laughed softly and then shifted again so that she was straddling him. "Good morning," she said, her voice still husky with sleep. Before he could even speak, she had put her hand around him and guided him inside her.

"Oh, baby," he growled, as he grabbed her around the waist. She started moving her hips, slowly and rhythmically, and he moved with her, watching her as she arched her back and stretched, throwing her head back, breathing hard. He loved looking at her like this, totally abandoning herself to her need. He slid his hands from her waist down to her thighs and back, rocking his hips back and forth. He could feel her getting close and he slid his hands across her inner thighs and started stroking her with his thumbs.

"Oh!" she cried out in surprise. "Oh, God," she murmured and she squeezed him hard, pulsing around him.

He shouted out incoherently, rising up to a sitting position and holding her against him, his face buried in her shoulder. He felt her relax, her arms tight around his shoulders, her face against his neck. He put his hands on the small of her back and grazed her shoulder with his lips. "Good morning," he said, a smile on his face. She laughed softly and he breathed in sharply, still acutely sensitive. "Damn, baby," he said.

She pulled away slightly and put her hands on the sides of his face, drawing him in for a kiss, crossing her legs behind his back. Then she laughed again. "Wow," she said, a smile on her face.

He smiled at her. "Wow, indeed."

She got up on her knees then and moved over to the side of the bed. "I need to get a shower," she said, then turned back to look at him. "And you need to go."

He felt disappointed. "I do?"

She nodded. "Not too long after I get out of the shower, the nanny will be here, since I have to leave before Yoby wakes up." She leaned in for a kiss. "You can't be here."

That was true. He sighed. She got up and started for the bathroom and he got up as well. "Can I at least have another kiss?" he asked. She turned back to face him and he thought, yet again, how perfectly beautiful she was.

She walked back and smiled, throwing her arms around his neck. "Of course you can have another kiss." She pressed her lips against his, then opened her mouth to his, kissing him slowly and deeply. She tipped her hips towards him, her fingers tangling themselves up in his hair. He ran his hands down her back and over her bottom, moaning in the back of his throat. When he pulled his lips away, she stepped out of his arms. "Get dressed," she said, with a saucy smile and turned to go into the bathroom.

He found his clothes and put them on, sitting on the edge of the bed to pull on his boots. He found his jacket slung over her chair and slid that on. Then he walked into the bathroom, where he could see her in the shower through the privacy glass. He tapped lightly on the door and she opened it, water streaking down her face. "I'm going," he said.

She reached out, her wet hand pulling him by his collar so she could kiss him. "I'll call you later," she said.

He smiled. "Can't wait." She let him go and closed the door. He walked back into the bedroom, then down the stairs and out the front door. As he was turning out of her neighborhood to get to the main road, he saw her nanny's Jeep turn in.

As he drove home he thought about the fact that they had not talked for one single second about their holiday week.

* * *

He was grilling steaks on her back deck, shivering against the chill in the air. But he'd been the one to suggest them, so he felt like he had to deliver. The door opened behind him and she walked out, her arms wrapped around her waist. "Are you almost done?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yep. Two perfectly medium rare steaks coming up in like sixty seconds."

She came and stood next to him, leaning a little forward to smell the meat. "I haven't had a steak in I couldn't tell you how long," she said. "These smell amazing."

He grinned. "I hope they taste amazing."

She smiled up at him. "I have a salad ready. Is that gonna be enough?"

"Yep."

She rubbed her hands up and down her arms. "Okay, then I'm going in. It's kind of chilly out here." She turned and hurried back inside and he took the steaks off the grill and put them on a plate, then followed her inside.

They fixed their plates, then sat down at her kitchen table. She poured him a glass of whiskey and then one for herself. She cut into the meat and put a bite in her mouth, closing her eyes. When she opened them again and swallowed, she smiled. "That was really good."

He smiled, then cleared his throat. "So, you still staying in Nashville next week?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yeah. I'm going to a couple holiday parties here before I head out to LA."

"So, I'm gonna stay here next week too."

She widened her eyes. "You are?"

"Is that okay?"

"By yourself?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

She sat back in her chair and took a sip from her glass. "I'm surprised, is all. I thought you'd be leaving at the end of the week."

He shook his head. "I'd sort of primed the well a little, but I was hoping to get some writing appointments and I was able to line some up." He frowned. "I thought you'd be happy that I'm staying around a little longer."

She sat forward. "I am! I'm sorry, I guess I was just trying to think through how I could get out of these parties." She put her hand on the table in his direction. "Of course, I'm thrilled to have more time with you."

He was still frowning. "I'm not asking you to change your plans. But I was hoping we could spend some time together."

She made a face. "Now I've made you upset with me. I didn't mean to do that." She got up and walked over to him, leaning over and taking his face in her hands, kissing him. Then she smiled. "I'm so glad you're staying. And that we'll have time to spend together. _Real_ time. I mean that."

He searched her eyes and then he smiled. "It's just a month is a long time."

She nodded and then kissed him again. "Yes, it is. So I'm grateful." She went back and sat down. "Now I need to finish this wonderful meal before it all gets cold." She smiled at him and he smiled back.

* * *

She looked happy to see him when she opened the door. He stepped in and put his arm around her waist, pulling her in for a kiss. She looked rested and relaxed. She nodded towards the guitar case he had in his hand. "Are you going to sing for me?" she asked.

He smiled and nodded. "Something I started working on."

She had the sleeves of her sweater clasped in her hands and she clapped them together. "I can't wait!" she cried, a huge smile on her face. She took his hand and led him towards the den, where he set down his guitar and overnight bag.

"Chip!" Yoby shrieked, jumping up and running over to throw himself in his arms.

"Yoby, my man," he said, with a smile, hugging the little boy. Yoby then scurried back to a pile of blocks that were on the floor.

Connie sat down with Yoby, her legs crossed. She looked back at him. "We're building stuff. You wanna join us?" she asked.

He got down on the floor with them. "Absolutely," he said, turning his attention to Yoby.

She put her hand on his leg and he looked at her. She was smiling and he was struck by how happy she looked, like she had everything she ever needed in this room with her. "I'm so glad you're here," she said. "And that we have some extra time." She leaned towards him and he followed suit, kissing her. She rubbed his leg. "So glad."

He was too.

She was sitting on the couch, after putting Yoby down, her hair pulled back and her glasses on. She had poured them both generous glasses of whiskey. She nodded towards his guitar case. "So are you going to play your song for me?" she asked.

He picked up the glass and took a sip of the whiskey. "Probably as good a time as any," he said. "Fitting too." She gave him a puzzled look and he walked over to the case and opened it, pulling out his guitar. He settled himself on the couch and picked out a few chords, then looked back at her. "So, like I said, I just kinda got started on this. But it's about you. For you. And Rayna."

She frowned. "I don't understand."

"See, I got this idea that it's something Deacon might write for Rayna. But it's also for you, as you'll see. One of the things I've learned, hanging out with songwriters, is to jot down ideas, so I've been doing that. Some of 'em might become songs, some might not. But I have a lot of ideas that start with you." She smiled. "And I have to have a way to introduce 'em, if I'm gonna sing 'em, so when I write a song for you, I'm saying it's for Rayna. That way you'll know."

She grinned. "Clever." She pointed at the guitar. "So play this song you wrote for Rayna and me."

He started to run through some chords on the guitar. "It's not finished though. I got the first verse and the chorus." He started the song, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious, wondering if she'd like it or think he was nuts. He looked down at the guitar and focused on that. _When I rise in the morning / She's on my mind / 'Til I hold her I won't be okay / And I can see she's killin' me / This love isn't blind / Still I just can't walk away._ He glanced up at her and she was just watching him, a smile on her face. That made him feel a little more confident. _She's my weakness and I give in / No matter how hard I try / My sweet addiction 'til someday when I kiss those whiskey lips goodbye._ Then he stopped.

She looked surprised at first, then clapped her hands. "I'm so impressed!" she cried. She gave him a look. "Whiskey lips, huh?"

He laughed. "That is for you, my dear. You and your whiskey lips."

"I love it, Chip," she said, laughing with him. "I can't wait until you have it finished." Then she looked wistful. "I wish I could see you perform it on stage."

"Maybe you will someday."

She shrugged. "We'll see." She looked down and he knew what she was thinking. It was what ran through his mind too. That there weren't lots of opportunities for them to be in public together, unless they were show related. He didn't want to think about what it would be like when his family moved to Nashville.

 _A/N: I don't really know when Chip wrote Whiskey Lips. The earliest video I can find of it is from 2014, but I'm guessing he may have written, and performed, it before then. So it's not necessarily a stretch to say he may have started writing it in late 2012. Hope you'll indulge me on this one._


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: This chapter is a little longer, but I hope you'll agree that it was all needed.**_

 _I need to see you._

 _I want to see you too, but where?_

 _I'll figure it out._

 _It's not like Nashville here, you know. Paparazzi everywhere._

 _Yeah. I'll figure it out._

It was true. Nashville was known as a place where the locals left celebrities alone and paparazzi was non-existent. But even there, they'd been careful. LA was a different ballgame. And Connie was certainly well known. It was agonizing, being in the same city yet unable to see each other. They had been texting almost daily, unable to stop themselves. She had suggested her house, but the paparazzi thing made them decide against it. He was beginning to think he'd have to wait until after the first of the year when they were back in Tennessee.

The missing her had been excruciating. Sometimes, in the middle of being with his family, he'd want to break down and cry. But he couldn't. He threw himself into pre-holiday activities, chatted up friends and smiled at parties until his face hurt. He went to bed every night with an ache in his heart. It had taken him a little by surprise at how much she filled up every space in his heart. He wondered some days if he could get through it.

* * *

He was at the mall the Thursday before Christmas with his daughters when he got her text. _I've got a place._ He waited until they stopped and he responded. _With my girls. Tell me when/where._ He couldn't help but smile as he hit send and then looked up to see his oldest daughter eying him.

"That Mom?" she asked.

He froze for half a second, then shook his head. "No. Work."

She looked puzzled. "You're on break."

He swallowed. "Just letting me know when the next script arrives." He reminded himself there was no reason for any of them to suspect anything. And he had actually gotten an email earlier that morning letting him know the script would be arriving at his home in LA. It made him grateful to have had as much training in improv as he had, letting him react quickly.

There was another buzz on his phone and he glanced down just long enough to see an address.

"Dad." Taylor was frowning. "It cannot be that important."

He shook his head and forced a smile on his face. "You're right. It's not." He walked up to them and put an arm around each. "Let's go finish shopping."

* * *

It hadn't even been a little bit hard getting away. He'd have to stop somewhere and buy something to cover his story of a last minute shopping need, but he figured that was a small price to pay. He followed the directions, heading up into a more secluded area of Hollywood Hills. Connie was right, the trees were thick and canopied the streets and the houses were set farther back from the road. He turned at the very discreet mailbox and then drove the winding driveway to the back of the house. There was an SUV he didn't recognize parked at the carriage house in the back, which he assumed was Connie's.

He parked. He put his hand on the door and realized he was more anxious than he thought he'd be. He'd kept an eye on his rearview mirror on the drive over to make sure no one had followed him. He'd tried to seem nonchalant about leaving the house, but he hadn't sensed any suspicion. For the first time, though, he wondered if this had been wise, but it had been more than three weeks and he _needed_ her.

He got out of the car, took his sunglasses off and put them in his pocket, and looked around. It was the house of one of Connie's friends, who she said was away for the holidays. He looked up at the sky for a second, then quickly ran up the steps to the door.

It was just a moment after he knocked that the door opened and there she was. She smiled and he smiled back. "Hey," she said. She was wearing a short skirt and a tank top and her feet were bare. She had on her glasses and no makeup and her hair was draped over her shoulders and back in waves. He just drank her in, his heart practically beating out of his chest.

"Hey," he said.

She stepped back. "Come in." He did and she shut the door behind him. Then she walked back around and looked at him. "I'm so glad you're here," she whispered. He crossed the one step between them and put his arms around her, literally picking her up off the floor and kissing her like he was a drowning man finally getting water. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him back, almost desperately. He finally put her back down and she looked up at him. "How long can you stay?"

 _A lifetime_ , he wanted to say. "Not long enough" is what he did say.

She took his hand. "Then we should make the most of it," she said, as she pulled him across the room and into a bedroom.

* * *

She was propped up slightly on a pile of pillows. He was laying on his stomach, one hand behind her shoulder, the other smoothing her hair off her face. She reached out and ran her fingers down his arm. They just stared at each other, enjoying the moment. She ran her fingers through his hair and then smiled at him. "I do believe that maybe rivals the very first time we were together," she said.

"Really?" She nodded. "'Cause I thought it was sort of grabby and awkward." He made a face.

She frowned. "You really thought so?"

He looked at her very seriously and then laughed. "No, I don't really think so." He scooted up a little and kissed her. "I actually think every time is better than the last."

She grinned. "Well, all I can say is that maybe we should not see each other for several weeks at a time, just so it's this good when we do."

He shook his head. "I'd rather not do that again."

Her smile faded and she looked pensive. "But it's gonna happen."

He scowled. "I don't want to think about that. Especially not right now." He let his face smooth out. "Not when I have you in my arms like this."

She looked off to the side, then back at him, her fingers making lazy circles up and down his arm. "How much time do you have?" she asked with a sigh.

"A bit." He moved to sit up next to her and looked off into the distance. "I don't know if they'll come after all," he said.

She scooted up further, clutching the sheet to her chest. "Why not?" she asked with a frown.

He looked over at her. "Taylor's balking still," he said. "Senior year and all."

She leaned back against the headboard. "I understand that." She reached down and touched his hand. He looked down and then he turned his hand over, threading his fingers with hers. "I'm not sure what to say."

He squeezed her hand. "You can say what you really think." He looked at her again. "I think I know anyway." He gave her a tight smile. "There's a part of me that would hate it if they stayed. There's a part of me that would…be glad to get to keep spending time with you." He felt a hole in his heart just thinking about it. "I'm selfish, Connie. I don't want to give you up. I don't want to lose this."

She nodded, a serious look on her face. "Sometimes I think about what we're doing – what _I'm_ doing – and I think I have no right to feel the way I do. To want to be with you the way I do." He watched as she picked at the sheet with her other hand. "I feel selfish too, Chip. I don't want to give you up either." She looked up at him and he could see the conflict in her eyes. "What happens if…."

He breathed in. "I don't know." He lifted her hand to his lips. "I feel like I'm keeping you from, I don't know, not having to hide this. Or that you feel like it's wrong." He frowned.

She bit her lip. "I'm here, aren't I?" He felt a lump in his throat and nodded. "I'm where I want to be. I guess people would say it's wrong, but what we feel, I don't know, it feels right somehow, anyway. You and I feel right." She let go of his hand and turned on her side. "I've never felt like this about anyone else. Ever. It's scary, almost, what I feel."

He turned to face her, putting his arm around her waist. "Don't be scared." He put his fingers under her chin and drew her in for a kiss. "I'm gonna have to leave soon."

She looked deeply into his eyes, then pushed the sheet away from her. "Then one more time before you go," she murmured, as he caught his breath. He took her in his arms and pressed his lips on hers, before rolling her onto her back.

* * *

He only heard from her a couple times during Christmas week. She'd texted him on Christmas, even sending him a picture of Yoby with the toy truck he'd given him and a picture of her with the single pearl necklace he'd slipped into her purse when he'd left her friend's carriage house. He thought that it shouldn't have worried him, not to hear from her, but it did anyway. There had been several times, just after New Year's, when he'd written out a text, but then deleted it. When he got back to Nashville, he finally sent a text letting her know he was back in town, but strangely didn't hear from her. He didn't have a lot of time to think about it, because he had a busy day on set, but when he got back to his apartment that night, there still had been no response.

He knew she was back, that she had flown back that day, and they would have some of the scenes around the NYC concert the next day that they'd both be in. He sat on his couch looking at his phone, wondering if he should call, feeling a little bit of panic setting in. He looked at the time and realized it would be around the time she was putting Yoby down, so he waited. He tried reading, turned on the TV, but he couldn't focus.

He got up and walked over to the kitchen, opening the fridge and getting out a beer. He opened it and then tipped it up to his mouth, taking almost half in one swallow. He picked up his phone again and then finally called her.

"Hey," she said when she answered, sounding a little distracted.

"Hey." He paused. "You get my text?"

"Um, yeah, I did. Sorry. Yoby was kind of wild today so I just haven't had a minute to myself."

Suddenly he felt like he didn't know what to say to her. "Just wanted to, you know, check on you."

She sighed. "I'm just tired, Chip. The holidays were pretty hectic and I'm sure you remember how it is with a two year old. And I have an early call time, so, you know."

He wasn't sure what to make of it, but he didn't like it. He wasn't going to get into it over the phone though. "Well, okay, then. Guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, I guess so."

He waited for a second, but it didn't seem that she was going to say anything else. "Well, good night then."

"Yeah, good night," she said softly and then she disconnected.

* * *

Filming went slowly the next day. They had only two scenes together – the one where he was on the side stage with Lennon and Susan and one other with Lennon and Connie. He couldn't keep his eyes off Connie though. She looked amazing, really inhabiting the role of Rayna onstage. They were doing the filming at Bridgestone, which was always a fun place to shoot, but he couldn't get any time alone with her there. Their face-to-face scene was meant to be a little tense, with that forced breezy feeling between two characters trying to act like they were moving on, and it definitely felt that way. He didn't like that feeling and hoped they'd have a chance to talk.

When they all got back to the production lot and got out of the van, she headed straight for her trailer. He stood in the parking lot, watching her walk away, watching the sway of her hips and how the moonlight caught her hair. He stood there until he saw her walk up the steps to her trailer and walk in. He waited another couple minutes, but it was chilly and he needed to see her. He looked around and didn't see anyone else, so he hustled over to her trailer and walked up the steps. He hesitated for a second, then rapped on the door with his knuckles. He didn't wait for her to answer, just opened the door and walked in.

She was standing at her vanity table, taking off her jewelry, and turned when he walked in. She laid her earrings down and gave him a tiny smile. "Hey."

He just stood there, his hands in his pockets. "Hey."

She was still wearing her Rayna clothes and he couldn't help but think she looked stunning. The strappy heels were sexy as hell and her black bra peeked out of the sequined top she wore, with the deep cut neckline. He breathed in deeply. Her eyes didn't leave his. "So, how was the rest of your holiday?" she asked.

He widened his eyes. "Is that what we're doing?" he asked.

She frowned. "I don't know what you mean by that," she said.

He breathed out, not really sure what to say next. He pinched his nose with one hand and then looked at her. "I don't know. I just, you know, didn't hear from you and you didn't text me when you got back and…."

She rolled her eyes. "I told you, Yoby was crazy. It was Christmas and he was bouncing off walls and seriously, Chip, you _have_ to remember how it is for little kids at that time of year." She put her hands on her hips. "And I was trying to be respectful of your time with your family, especially after…that afternoon." He saw tears in her eyes. "I'm feeling _guilty_ , you know? Guilty as hell." He felt bad then and started towards her, but she shook her head and held up her hand. "Don't." She breathed in deeply. "I just need a minute." She looked at him. "And by a minute, I mean a little bit of time." She put her hand over her heart. "It's all just a little…close, I guess, right now."

He wasn't really sure what she meant by that, but he understood she needed him to leave. He swallowed hard, then nodded. He could feel the tears in his eyes. "Okay," he said quietly. "Just let me know what you want to do." Then he turned and started for the door. _I can't just walk away._ He stopped and turned back. She was facing the vanity, her hands on the edge, her head down. "I know I can't promise anything," he said, and she looked up at him. "Not right now anyway. But this" – he waved his hand back and forth between the two of them – "is really, really good." He took a deep breath. "I want to give you everything. Just know that." Then he turned and walked out the door.

* * *

He was in his kitchen cleaning up when a knock came at his door. He wasn't expecting anyone, so he walked over and looked through the peephole. He opened the door and just stared. "Hey," she said, with a shy smile. "I hope you don't mind that I just dropped by."

He shook his head and then reached for her hand, pulling her in the door. He closed the door behind her and then just looked at her. Her face was a little pink, maybe from the cold outside, maybe from something else. He didn't care. He was just glad to see her. "I didn't expect to see you," he said.

She shrugged. "I couldn't leave things the way they were last night," she said. She sighed, then looked at him, her eyes hopeful. "I'm sorry." She fidgeted with her hands. "I really was telling you the truth. Yoby was kind of hyper after Christmas. He just was sort of overwhelmed and I guess I was too. It's the first Christmas for him to really kind of understand everything. And then it made me think about, you know, you and your kids." She spread her hands out. "I don't want to hurt you. Do something to hurt you. And them."

He nodded. He'd had a restless night, tossing and turning as he'd considered the two of them. "I get it, Connie," he said. "I wish I could uncomplicate it, make it easy, but it's not." He took a deep breath. "Maybe when it's worth fighting for, it's just never meant to be easy, I don't know. I don't want to hurt you either, though."

She took two steps closer to him. "It's messy. It'll always be messy. Until it's not." She shrugged and then smiled. "I decided the last time I just showed up at your door that I'd rather live with messy than live without it." She took another step closer. "I still do."

He closed the gap between them then and pulled her into his arms.

* * *

They were laying in the bed facing each other, the sheet down around their waists. She had a dreamy look in her eyes that made him hitch his breath. Her hair was a tangled mess around her face and shoulders, her lips puffy from kissing. She was breathtakingly beautiful, gorgeously sexy, and he could feel himself getting hard again already. It was getting to be a problem, actually, how little it took for him to go from nothing to huge erection, whenever he was around her. What made it worse – or actually more exciting, if he were honest – was that she always knew.

He reached out now and ran his knuckles over her cheek. She smiled lazily. He let his hand drag down her jawline and then her neck, until he was grazing her collarbone. She took in a sharp breath and her tongue peeked out of her mouth and touched the rosebud of her upper lip. He got harder in an instant, but he wanted to prolong this. He had decided he wanted foreplay to be their thing. It was something he missed, that lazy playfulness before sex, the getting so aroused that the sex was explosive kind of prelude. He suspected she would like that too.

He ran his index finger down over the globe of her breast, feeling the velvety smoothness of her skin. He could tell she was holding her breath, her eyes darkening with arousal and desire. She put her hand on the sheet covering his waist. He told her with his eyes to wait and she touched her tongue to her lip again, as though she understood what he was asking. He trailed his finger to her nipple, which puckered up almost instantly. She made a little noise in the back of her throat. He kept his eyes on hers as he leaned forward and touched his tongue to her taut nipple. She opened her mouth slightly and her eyes closed halfway and she moaned softly. He swirled his tongue around her nipple, occasionally nipping it with his teeth, and she arched her back slightly, pressing her breast against his mouth.

He cupped her breast with his hand and then opened his mouth wider, taking in more of her. He shifted slightly as his erection got harder and more insistent. He wanted to be inside her, swallowed up by her heat, but he wanted to wait a little longer. He sucked on her breast, pulling his mouth out to her nipple, flicking it with his tongue, then sliding back. She had raised up the hand on his waist until it was just her fingers fluttering there, and her moans were more frequent. He looked up at her face and saw that her eyes were closed, her mouth open, and her breathing shallow and fast. He was so incredibly turned on by her he almost didn't want to wait any longer, but he made himself.

He pulled his mouth from her breast, lingering at her nipple one last time, flicking it, then nibbling it, and then he let it go. Her eyes flew open and she got a dreamy smile on her face, but he shook his head slightly. He let his hand drift from her breast and then trailed his index finger down her abdomen and under the sheet. She caught her breath. He lingered for a moment, then dragged his finger down to the point between her legs. She let out a guttural moan and tilted her hips towards him. He could feel how wet she was and he had to breath in and out deeply to control his own desire. Her forehead wrinkled a little as she insistently pressed herself against his finger and made a little impatient noise.

He trailed his finger across her and she let out a strangled cry of want. He waited and finally she opened her eyes and looked at him. He let a smile play across his face. "You have a choice, Connie," he said, his voice low. Her eyes widened slightly. "Which is better? One?" He slid one finger inside her and she moaned. "Or two?" He pulled out, then inserted two fingers inside her and she groaned. He pulled his fingers out, then inserted just one. "One?" He repeated it with two fingers. "Or two?" He pulled them out and hovered, looking at her expectantly.

Her face was flushed and she was breathing hard. Her hand clenched the sheet into her fist and she swallowed. "Two, please," she begged, her voice ragged.

She started to close her eyes. "Eyes on me, baby," he said.

He reinserted two fingers and swirled them around, watching as she struggled not to close her eyes, but to keep them on his, her breathing hard and fast, a flush spreading across her chest. _God, she's so fucking sexy._ He needed to be inside her then. He couldn't wait. He pulled his fingers out and she whimpered. He rolled her onto her back and then he crawled on top of her and thrust into her hard. She cried out and then arched her back, drawing her legs up as he pumped in and out of her with reckless abandon. She matched him stroke for stroke, clinging to his biceps and making noises that told him she was as aroused as he was.

When she cried out and bucked up against him hard, he stopped to watch her in the throes of her orgasm. She moaned over and over and he could feel her pulsing around him. And then, almost without warning, he came as well, his eyes squeezed shut, with one last hard thrust, as he shouted out, "Oh, my fucking God!" Finally he breathed out and opened his eyes, looking down at her. Her hair was spread out around her head, her mouth was open, her eyes dark and burning. He collapsed on top of her, burying his head in her shoulder, and she reached up and threaded her fingers into his hair. She rocked her hips, squeezing him gently, making little murmuring sounds.

He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. She gave him a tiny smile. "Wow," he said.

She laughed softly and he could feel it all the way down to where they were still joined together. "Oh, absolutely wow," she said. "Like wow to infinity." She slid her hands down to his shoulders. "I'm not sure I even have enough words.

He grinned, then kissed her. He started to roll off of her, but she quickly slid her arms around his back. "Don't," she said, with a little frown. "Stay here. As long as you can. I like feeling you inside me." He was so overcome with emotions and desire for her, all he could do was nod and then relax into her. He laid back on her shoulder, his mouth against her neck. "I always imagined it would be like this." Her voice was so soft and low he almost wasn't sure he heard her words, but she squeezed her arms around him, holding him closer to her, and he knew he hadn't misheard.

Nothing in his life had ever felt quite like this. And he knew then, for sure, that he would never experience anything this perfect with anyone else ever again.


	11. Chapter 11

He ran up the steps and knocked on the door. When she opened it, he held up a bag and smiled. "Thai food?" he said.

She clasped her hands together and closed her eyes. "Oh, thank you, thank you," she murmured. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. "Come on in with that." She stepped aside to let him in, kissing him as he passed her, then closing the door. She then slid her hand through his arm and led him towards the kitchen. "I am completely starved," she announced. "And I can totally focus on food because Yoby's down for the night."

He set the bag on the counter and started to take containers out. "Let's see. I've got Tom Yum soup, spring rolls, Pad Thai, and Pad Thai woon sen." He looked at her. "You got plates? Or something?"

She spread her hands out and smiled. "Can't we just eat out of the containers?"

He grinned. "We can do that." He pulled out the chopsticks and laid them on the counter alongside the food, along with spoons for the soup.

She got up on one of the bar stools and picked up the chopsticks. "Which one's the Pad Thai?" He opened one container and slid it towards her. She didn't wait for him, but went ahead and stuck her chopsticks in and pulled out some of the noodles and leaned her head back slightly, letting the noodles slide into her mouth. He watched as she ate and swallowed the bite and then she laughed. "I'm sorry, but I haven't eaten since noon."

He shook his head, grinning. "No problem." He opened up his box of food and the spring rolls and pushed the soup towards her. "You could have eaten before I got here."

"I wanted to wait. You had a long day, though."

He nodded as he chewed. "Yep." After he swallowed he said, "Yeah, lot of scenes with Hayden today. On stage scenes." She nodded. "You and me got one tomorrow."

"I know. The hospital scene." She sat forward. "That's a pretty emotional one for the two of them." She ate another bite of food, looking thoughtful as she chewed. He loved talking scenes with her, loved her passion around it and how important it was to her to get it right. They talked often about Deacon and Rayna's complicated relationship, trying to dig into what kinds of feelings were under the surface, and the connection the two shared. "Here's what I think," she said. "Rayna's just been knocked backwards by finding out her mom had this long affair with Watty and she's probably questioning just about everything. Not just _that_ relationship, but her own relationship with her father and how Lamar kind of put all his hurt and pain on Rayna because she was like her mother."

He nodded. "And then her relationship with Watty."

She nodded. "You're right. They don't really delve into that, but that has to still hang around in the back of her mind." She sat back and crossed her legs. "I mean, clearly she's got all the talent and star power or she wouldn't be who she is, so she would have made it with or without Watty, but yeah, that would be a big deal." She pointed her chopsticks at him. "Here's what I think about Deacon coming to see her. It means everything. He's really the only person who truly understands her and for him to come be there for her, when everything else about the two of them is in disarray, well, that's just _huge_."

He nodded. "He can't let go."

She shook her head. "Neither can she. But the difference is that she doesn't want him to know that. So she has to make it all weird and everything by bringing up the vet." She rolled her eyes.

He laughed. "You really don't like her, do you?"

She made a face. " _Rayna_ doesn't like her. I mean, it _kills_ her. Remember after she told Deacon she thought Stacey was nice? When he was coming on stage? The look on her face was heartbreaking."

They had watched it together in the film village. "True. And, of course, he can't make himself say it's serious. 'Cause he doesn't want it to be. He's always gonna hold out for her."

She looked at him thoughtfully. "I want them to figure it out. Because I don't think either one of them will truly be happy until they do." She sighed. "But I also wish I had confidence that they could be written well together as a strong couple, with all that history and the love they've had for so long, and not have all these ridiculous roadblocks get thrown at them."

He breathed out. "You think that's what's gonna happen?"

She nodded. "I do. I wish I could say I didn't, because I love the pull between the two of them. But it's a complicated relationship. Personally I think they could work through the ups and downs, but I don't know if the powers that be will let them."

He thought about that. He liked the complexity and the richness of the relationship, but he sometimes wondered about the parallel trail they were running on. Because, of course, their own lives were complicated and their own relationship had those landmines that could either derail them or destroy them. He gave her a little smile. "Don't you have some pull?" She looked confused. "Producer credit?"

"Oh, pfftt," she said, waving a hand in dismissal. "It doesn't mean anyone listens to me or that I have any influence over story. I mean, I can say what I think, but it doesn't mean anyone has to listen to me." She gave him a weary look. "I fight for Rayna and don't get as much as I want, so I'm probably not going to even get that when it comes to my ideas for Deacon and Rayna together." She smiled then. "At least I have some say over Chip and Connie though."

He grinned at her. "You do, do ya?"

She slid off the barstool and planted herself in front of him, between his legs. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she planted a kiss on his lips. "Yes, I do." She flicked her eyes over his shoulder. "The show starts in ten minutes."

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Ten minutes is enough time for some serious necking, I do believe," he said, his lips against hers. She laughed, that laugh that said she was feeling good and was happy, and then tugged on his lip until he opened his mouth to hers.

* * *

He liked watching the show with her. They didn't always get the chance to do it, but this was the elevator kiss episode and he was glad neither one of them had to work that night. She sat curled up in his arms as they watched and they had a running commentary throughout the show, stopping during commercials to make out like kids. When the episode was over, she sat back against the back of the couch.

"Huh. I'm kind of surprised they left out the scene in Deacon's hotel room," she mused. She looked up at him. "But I'm also kind of glad they did."

He frowned. "Really? Why?"

She turned to face him, crossing her legs underneath her. "Well, because I didn't really like that she came down to basically shut him down." She fidgeted a bit with her fingers. "What was her motivation in inviting him up to _her_ room?"

He leaned in and grinned. "To get fucked," he said.

She laughed, reaching out to scratch his cheek. "Yeah, that's right. So then, what, she thought better of it and goes down to say 'sorry we're not fucking after all'? And that was after that really emotional scene with Teddy where he asks for a divorce. It just didn't feel like she would have recovered that fast. So now, without it, it will make the Rayna spaces out scene in the next episode make more sense."

He nodded. "Sometimes the higher ups know what makes sense," he said.

She shrugged. "And sometimes they don't. Because I still think they have this 'Moonlighting' phobia, that if they put Deacon and Rayna together, they can't write for it." She looked up at the ceiling and then rolled her eyes. "I wonder if these people ever watched Eric and Tami."

He smiled. "That's the gold standard for sure. Great drama and they sure didn't shy away from conflict, yet they were strong together." He reached for her hand and rubbed his thumb along the back of it. "But Deacon's an alcoholic. And Rayna went through a lot of years of heartache because of it. Plus there's Maddie. _That's_ going to be a tough reveal to overcome, once they get to it."

She nodded, looking serious. "That's true. While I kind of like the idea of it, that Deacon and Rayna made a child together who's the confluence of the two of them, these two intertwined soulmates, it's gonna be complicated and messy and people will be hurt. Maybe irrevocably." She got an odd look on her face and he hitched his breath, realizing it could be a metaphor for the two of them. They sat there for a moment, not saying anything, and then finally she looked away. "I've got a 6:30 call time in the morning," she said, her voice low and almost regretful.

He knew that meant he needed to go. He typically wouldn't stay over on a night when either of them had an early call time. He hated to leave though. He ran the back of his fingers along her cheek. "I should go then, I guess."

She looked at him. "I guess," she said. Then she rose up and moved to straddle his lap, putting her hands on his face and pulling him in for a long kiss. He lifted her up and laid her on her back, sprawling on top of her. He felt her pull her knees up, settling under him as her lips continued to assault his. He pushed his hands up under her t-shirt, then used his thumbs to push up her bra so he could feel her breasts. She moaned, deep in her throat, arching her back and pushing up against him.

He pulled his lips from hers, reluctantly, and looked down at her. She slid her hands down to his shoulders and looked into his eyes and he knew she didn't want him to leave just yet. He slid off her pajama pants and then she reached for his belt.

* * *

He watched her from off set. She was filming the scene with Judith where they talked about Watty. He had to smile. She was always amazing, the way she inhabited her character and made her so real. He could feel Rayna's confusion and sadness, how she was still processing what she'd learned, trying to make sense of it. _She's brilliant._ He often felt like she made him better. He would let her lead him and it almost always made the scene better. She scoffed at that when he'd bring it up, but it was true.

He also thought about how he'd left her the night before. Even though she'd told him she had an early call time, she'd been reluctant to let him go. After they'd made love on her couch, she'd held him there in her arms, her face against his neck, just breathing in and out. He, of course, hated to leave her, and didn't mind staying as long as she wanted him to.

 _She looked up at him, finally, and then smoothed the hair off his forehead. She looked like she was going to say something but she didn't, just running her fingers over his hair and looking at his face, her eyes darting all around, almost like she was memorizing him. "Do you ever wonder if there was a reason we ended up here together?" she asked finally._

" _You mean, besides me bringing you Thai food?" She gave him a ghost of a smile and he knew she was being introspective, not frivolous. "I do wonder," he said then. "You know I didn't walk onto the set thinking this would happen."_

 _She nodded. "I know. I didn't either." She let her hand drift down to his cheek. "You know, I had a great relationship with Kyle and then with Dylan. Not like this, of course, but in many ways like what we have. They were great screen partners and good about talking about the characters with me. We'd have those same kind of conversations, trying to understand the motivations and all that. And they became friends. I sometimes think about how things went so differently for us, you know? Beyond just being screen partners and friends."_

 _He tucked her hair behind her ear. "I think there was some inevitability about it," he said. "I'd had a hole for a long time and you filled it. But I don't think it was just that anyone could fill it. I think it was supposed to be you."_

 _She looked at him. "We've got a tough road ahead, Chip. I know you know that." He closed his eyes briefly, nodding. "I understand what you mean about inevitability. It's hard for me to imagine a life now without you in it. And yet…." She trailed off._

" _Connie, I know I've said before that we'll figure it out. And we will. I don't know how but I believe we will. But I don't want to hurt you and I feel like that's gonna happen. Not because I want it to or because I'll do something intentional, but because it's complicated and messy and…."_

" _And because I don't have the high ground," she said, sounding resigned._

 _He frowned. "Actually you do. I'm not sure you realize just where you fit in my life." She reached up and put a finger over his mouth._

" _Be careful," she said softly. "There's a line that, if we cross it, we may not be able to come back from. And if we say it out loud, we can't take it back."_

He knew what she meant. And while she might be right, it didn't mean it wasn't there. He found himself thinking it was much like Deacon and Rayna. Although the two of them had actually said the words, in song, on the stage at the Bluebird, they had worked hard to pull back. But they couldn't take it back. It was still there, even if they wanted to pretend it was not.

"Cut!" He was snapped out of his musing by the activity on the set. Connie saw him and smiled, walking over.

"Hey," she said, sounding happy to see him.

"Hey yourself," he said, with a smile. "How's it going so far?"

She crossed her arms over her waist. "That was take three. I'm hoping they got what they were looking for this time." She made a face. Then Judith joined them and the three of them chatted until the director decided he needed yet another take. Connie rolled her eyes and he laughed, then watched her walk back over to the set and take her place sitting on the chair next to Judith, looking down at her phone, ready to start the scene again.

He decided not to watch anymore and walked off.

* * *

When it was time for their scene, he and Connie stood and waited while the crew got the scene set up. He turned towards her. "I'm thinking about not saying anything when I walk in," he said.

She looked up, puzzled. "What?"

He rubbed his chin. "I know I'm not supposed to change anything but I've been thinking about it and I think it makes more sense."

She screwed up her face. "It's not but one word, Chip. I don't see how it makes a difference to leave it out."

He shrugged. "Just see how it goes. Worse that can happen is they make us do it again."

She made a face. "I suppose that's true."

"Connie, we're ready for you," the production assistant called out.

She put her hand on his arm and smiled. "Let's do this," she said, and then headed onto the set.

* * *

He was supposed to kneel down and say "hey" but, as he'd read through the script, he didn't really want to play it that way. So he walked in, kneeled down, and put his hand tentatively on her arm. She opened her eyes and looked at him. She closed her hand over his and they looked at each other with a deep gratefulness that they were together again. She reached for him then, pulling him close and he put his hand on the back of her shoulder, burying himself in her hair, breathing her in. He felt her pull him closer as they just held each other. It ended up looking amazing on camera, silently portraying all the pent up want and need between the two characters. No one else needed to know it was the two of them feeling grateful to be together, that the emotions that played out on camera were as real as they came.

* * *

She had a long day on set the following day and he was flying out to LA for the weekend. He was sitting at the gatehouse in the airport, waiting for his flight to board. They had one more week of filming and then they would have a ten day break for spring break. He and his family would be heading out for a beach week, Connie and Yoby would be heading for LA. Times apart were tough, but they'd learned to adjust. Mostly.

He was staring out the window, watching planes pull into and out of gates when his phone pinged. He looked down and saw her text. _Have a good weekend. I'll miss you._ He smiled to himself and texted back. _Miss you too. See you Monday._ He put the phone back in his pocket but it pinged again. He pulled it out and looked. _Can you come by Sunday night?_ He chuckled a little and responded. _I can do that._ Then there was one more text. _You were right about the scene._ He grinned and then put his phone away, about the time the gate agent called his flight to start boarding.

* * *

On the long flight across country he had time to think. He truly had not expected to get caught up in an affair with Connie. He shook his head, thinking that calling it an affair cheapened what they had somehow. And yet, it was hard to reconcile the two lives he was leading. Until _Nashville_ had happened, he'd been content, reasonably happy. He had a good life. He had three fantastic kids. He had never aspired to more than that. And it wasn't that he was unhappy, he truly couldn't say that he had been. If the honeymoon had been long over, it still wasn't a bad life to live.

Connie made him realize what he was missing. The life he'd thought he would have, all those years ago when he'd gotten married, hadn't turned out quite that way. It was no one's fault, really. It had just happened. He wondered if it wasn't the same kind of thing his own parents had gone through. They were still friendly, just no longer in love.

He knew that, if the show was picked up, things would likely get exponentially more complicated. His family would probably move to Nashville and he would have much less free time, time he now felt free to spend with Connie. It made him feel anxious to think about having to navigate that, to balance time with his family and time with her. Sometimes he thought he'd have to give her up, but the idea of that left him feeling empty. Right now he had the perfect set up. Having this life in LA, which was separate from Nashville, gave him boundaries that were easy to navigate.

When they landed, he turned on his phone and had a text from her. _Missing you more than you know._ He shook his head, but smiled anyway. She couldn't help herself. But it weighed heavily on him. He couldn't give up his family right then, even for her. But he couldn't give her up either. He texted her back. _I do know. Same for me._


	12. Chapter 12

He was sitting at the cell phone lot, waiting for the flight to arrive from LA. He leaned back against the seat, fighting sleep. He turned the car back on and found a country station on Sirius, making himself focus on listening to the words to stay awake. He was watching the billboard across from his car as it flashed the status on flights arriving from Atlanta, Houston, Dallas, New York. The LA flight had just landed and his wife would let him know when they were on their way to baggage claim. His phone buzzed and he picked it up. He smiled as he lifted it to his ear, propping his elbow on the edge of the car door. "Hey. You finally up?"

"Shut up," she said, but there was laughter in her voice. Then she sighed. "Thank you for getting up with Yoby."

"No sense in both of us not getting to sleep."

"You were restless all night though."

He closed his eyes and rubbed them with his free hand. "Got a lot on my mind, I guess." Since he would be with his family for the next ten days, he had stayed with her the night before. They rarely did that, but she had asked him nicely and he could never say no to her when she asked nicely. He had hated leaving her. She had stood at the door, Yoby on her hip, in her robe with her hair all tangled around her shoulders and tears in her eyes.

She was silent on the other end, but he could hear her breathing. "I'll miss you," she said finally.

"Well, you'll see me tomorrow." He was bringing his family to the set for the final day of filming before spring break, even though he had no scenes to film.

"I'll stay out of your way," she said.

He sighed. "You can't, Connie. They specifically want to meet you. We talked about that." This was the first time they'd have an opportunity to visit the set while filming was going on. When they'd been to visit Nashville before, they'd always been disappointed not to meet Connie, who would typically make it a point to not be available when they met other cast members. But it would have been more suspicious for them not to meet her on this occasion and he had insisted to her they needed to do this.

"I think this is a bad idea, Chip," she said.

He chewed on his lip. "What? Meeting them? Or us?" He knew he sounded sharp. But they'd had similar conversations before. Mostly when one or the other of them started feeling guilty, most commonly her.

"Stop it," she said angrily.

He looked up at the billboard and noticed the flight from LA was no longer on the board. A buzz in his ear let him know he had a text. He held the phone away from his ear and saw his wife's text that they were headed for baggage claim. He put the phone back to his ear. "Look, baby, they're here, so I gotta go over and pick them up." He suddenly felt a wave of sadness wash over him. "I'm gonna miss you too," he said softly.

"I'll see y'all tomorrow then," she said, a little stiffly.

"Okay." They hung up and he sat looking at his phone, feeling a lot of mixed emotions. He tapped out a response. _Will meet you outside baggage claim._ Then he started up the car and headed for the terminal.

* * *

He had been the one to kind of hang back on the set. Connie had been amazing, friendly and welcoming, chatting up his wife and kids pleasantly, as she showed them around. Only once did she look back over her shoulder at him, as he was lagging behind the group, pain rimming her eyes. But she was every bit as good as Rayna Jaymes at putting on a professional face, smiling convincingly, being the consummate hostess. When she left them, she had told them how much she enjoyed working with him and what a great job he did as Deacon, putting a hand around his arm that felt like fire, smiling at him graciously, as though they were just work partners. His stomach had been in knots the entire time and he wondered if hers had been as well.

As soon as they drove out of Nashville, though, headed for the Outer Banks for a vacation week with their extended families, he'd felt more relaxed. He made a conscious effort to put Connie out of his mind and focus on having fun with his family. But as the week wore on, he felt restless. Early one morning, he went out on the beach for a run. When he was out of sight of the beach house, he stopped, pulling out his phone.

He'd gotten a text from her the day before. _Missing you._ The rule was supposed to be that they were off limits when he was with his family. It was too complicated otherwise. But he understood this had felt more real for her, actually meeting his family, and he suspected she needed some reassurance. He breathed in, taking in the salty air, then hit call and lifted the phone to his ear.

"You're interrupting my beauty sleep," she said when she answered, her voice groggy.

He smiled, feeling happy to hear her voice. "I'm sorry," he said. "I just wanted to, you know."

"I miss you, Chip." She sighed. "Are you having fun at least?"

"Yes. It's been a lot of fun." It was true and he knew she'd understand. It was a push-pull kind of thing for him. As important as she was to him, so was his family. And, at the end of the day, he was still committed to them, at least for the time being. "I got a call time for Monday. 3:00."

"Your scenes with the vet?"

"Yep." He squinted his eyes and looked out over the sand towards the waves crashing onto the shore. "The ones at Deacon's house."

"I'll be on set all day. Have a couple scenes with Michiel. And one with Powers. Are you on past that?"

He shook his head. "Nope. I'm actually done for a couple days until we've got those concert scenes." He cleared his throat. "Looks like the big scene on the porch is late in the week." He hadn't had a chance to talk to her about it.

"Sounds like it." She was quiet. "We should talk about it before then, if we can."

"So, Connie, I…."

"Hey, listen, I hear Yoby so I've gotta go. Have a great rest of your week."

"Okay, I…." He realized she'd hung up. He held his phone out and looked at it, feeling strangely empty. He took a deep breath and then put his phone in his pocket, then turned and started jogging back to the house.

* * *

Mornings were his time, his alone time. He would get up quietly, pull on shorts and a t-shirt, then pad out to the porch where his running shoes were. After he put on his shoes and his sunglasses, he'd put the ear buds in his ears and turn on his music and head down for the beach. As he headed across the dunes towards the beach, he thought about how lucky they'd been to have nice weather. There was a sea breeze, which was sometimes brisk, but the temperatures were in the upper 70s and the sky was clear. When he got to the beach he started running, the classic country playlist keeping him on pace.

They had three more days and then would be heading home. He would drop his family off in Raleigh and they would fly home to LA, while he made the two day trek for Nashville. He looked forward to getting back, for a number of reasons. One was that he enjoyed the city and the friends he had made there, was looking forward to more writing appointments and writers rounds. Another was that, as the season was winding down, it looked like they would be renewed, and he was looking forward to the rest of the season's filming, particularly the upcoming episode where Deacon and Rayna were finally reuniting. But most importantly, was getting back to Connie.

She would arrive from LA the day before he did. He hoped to get back to Nashville early enough to stop by her house. Which made him start to focus his thoughts on her, something he did frequently. He still wanted to pinch himself sometimes, when he was with her. It would have been enough, he thought, to have just been good friends, working together and enjoying that camaraderie. There were times when he was surprised it had taken them as long as it had to realize that their feelings for each other were so much more than just friendly.

And now they were…what exactly? That was the real question, it seemed. He felt right on the edge of something, or maybe he'd already gone over it and he just hadn't been able to say it out loud. He thought about something she'd said. _There's a line that, if we cross it, we may not be able to come back from. And if we say it out loud, we can't take it back._ He knew exactly what that line was and he was pretty sure he was crossing it. He breathed in, the salty air feeling heavy in his lungs. It had been a long time since he'd felt the things he felt for Connie.

Actually, if he were truly honest, he'd never really felt quite like this before.

* * *

At some point before the week was out, she sent him another text. This one was a snap of part of the script for the next episode they were filming. The part where Rayna ended up on Deacon's porch, declaring her love. And that's when he knew for sure, when he realized he'd been trying to hide it from himself. He loved her. He was actually _in_ love with her. She was the other part of his soul. It was why he couldn't walk away from her. Why he knew he _wouldn't_ walk away from her. Why he promised himself they would figure out a way to be together, no matter what. Because he loved her. And he knew she needed to hear it, needed to hear that commitment from him to her.

He told her when he got back to Nashville. He drove to her house, straight from the airport, and told her, while he stood on her front porch. At first she laughed, an embarrassed little laugh, but then she realized he was serious. He watched the emotions play across her face, from surprise to uncertainty to pure joy. She pulled him inside and they stood in her foyer, kissing desperately. And then she whispered the words he wanted to hear, that she loved him too.

* * *

They both had a day off together, which was unusual. He asked her to meet him at the Harpeth. He waited in his car until she pulled in beside him and then he got out and walked over to open her door. She smiled up at him as she got out of the car and then kissed him warmly, wrapping her arms around his neck. It was a sunny day, a little warmer than normal, but still cool enough for a light jacket. He took her hand and they walked down the path towards the river.

"How did you find this place?" she asked.

"Out running with Eric."

She bit her lip. "So does that mean Eric could come out here and find us?"

He smiled. "Nah. I don't remember now why we even came out here. He prefers to run in town, so that's what we do. No reason for him to come out here again."

They walked a little further. "It's really peaceful back here," she said, bumping up against him as they walked. "Not a lot of visitors?"

He shook his head. "Not during the week anyway. Weekends are different. But you'll see, it's not a big area along the river. You can't put a boat in and it's a long way to haul a kayak or canoe, so it's not the most convenient place. But it's good for being alone." He smiled down at her, squeezing her hand gently.

She put her hand on his arm and smiled back. "I think I love it already," she said.

* * *

She was leaning back against him as they sat on the river bank. He had no idea how long they'd just been sitting there, not talking, just being together. Crossing that line had been huge and, in the aftermath of that, it had felt a little like they hadn't wanted to touch it again just yet, that it needed to just settle around them, because the truth of the matter was that it changed everything, in a bigger way than they'd even imagined. There were so many questions. _Do we have a future? What does it look like, if we do? How long can we do this?_

She sighed and he leaned in, pressing his head against hers. "It's so peaceful," she said. "Feels like a place for deep conversation."

"'Cept we haven't been doing any," he said.

She laughed softly. "That's true." She leaned her head back against his shoulder. "So now that we've opened the door, what's next? What do we do about it?"

"You went right to it, didn't you? Deepest conversation we could have," he said, with a little chuckle.

She nestled in a little closer. "Love is a big word," she said.

"Yep," he said. He rested his chin on her shoulder. "Not one I take lightly either."

"I know. Me either." His arms were wrapped around her and she reached for his hands, clasping them tightly in hers. "I have to admit, though, that you surprised the hell out of me when you did the whole porch thing."

He smiled. "I thought I was getting a subliminal message from you."

"I guess you kind of were," she said with a chuckle. Then she sighed. "I _do_ love you, Chip. I've tried not to say it, because I didn't want to pressure you or anything. But it also kind of took me by surprise." She turned her head slightly, leaning against his chest. "The falling in love thing."

He kissed her on the temple. "It surprised me too," he said.

After a long silence, she asked, "What are we gonna do now?"

He tightened his arms around her as he thought about that. "Do we have to plan it out?" he asked finally. "Can't we just live in it and enjoy it?" He kissed her again. "I don't want it to end," he said quietly. "Can that be enough?"

She breathed in. "Yeah," she murmured. "That can be enough."

"We'll figure it out. I promise," he said.

"You sure?"

"I guess it depends what kind of love it is."

She seemed to consider that. "It's that once in a lifetime love for me," she said, her voice soft.

He nodded, feeling a sense of relief. "Me too," he said. "So I think we'll figure it out, no matter how long it takes. I don't think it'll always be easy and at some point maybe it will feel like it'll never happen. But that's when we'll know if it really is once in a lifetime."

She breathed in. "I guess it scares me a little to say it out loud. It changes everything. For the better, of course, but it just means that…"

"That we could get hurt? Yeah, it does." He paused a moment. "So you in?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm all in." She turned around then to face him, on her knees, taking his face in her hands, and kissed him, long and deep. Then she looked into his eyes, seeming to search for what he was thinking. "I'm _so_ all in."

* * *

They stood next to each other on the dark street, close but not touching. The crew was working on the lights, getting everything set up outside. He crossed his arms over his chest as they waited. She rocked back and forth in her boots, looking down at the sidewalk. It was sort of ironic that this was the last scene they were filming for this episode. It was one they'd been looking forward to, for most of the season, if not just for this particular episode. They had already filmed the scene in Deacon's bedroom, where they undressed each other. This was the one, though, that had pushed them to lay out their feelings for each other, in real life, and they had talked about how they thought they should play it.

" _I kind of like that she's a little hesitant, even after she's made up her mind," she said. "There's still something there, in the back of her mind, that reminds her it could all blow up."_

" _And he's kind of thrown for a loop, because she says one thing and does another," he said._

 _She laughed. "Truthfully, I'm surprised he didn't just grab her by the hand and pull her inside. That he even had to think about it for one whole second."_

 _He grinned. "True." He breathed in. "How will you say it?"_

 _She looked puzzled. "The way it's written."_

 _He shook his head. "No, I mean, will you say it like you're reading lines? Or like you really mean it?"_

 _She took a step closer to him and put her hand on his chest, a tiny smile on her lips. "I think the neat thing is that I can say it like I mean it. Because I do."_

"Connie! Chip! We're ready!" They both looked up, then at each other.

She gave him a soft smile. "Just like I mean it," she said, as they headed for the house. "Because I do."

He smiled back at her, feeling like his heart was going to burst wide open.


	13. Chapter 13

When he and Susan finally finished the break up scene, Connie was standing there, watching. He walked up and stood next to her, smiling. " _That_ looked awkward," she said, with a smirk. " _Perfectly_ awkward. Just like it should. Deacon looked like he'd rather have been doing _anything_ but that."

He laughed a little, under his breath, putting his hands in his pockets. "Yep, I think it's safe to say Deacon was hoping to avoid that," he said. "And break ups should always be awkward. 'Specially when you just slept with someone else."

She put her hand on his arm and he breathed in. "When are we leaving for the studio?" They were recording the song 'The End of The Day' for that episode.

He lifted up his shoulders and looked around the set for a clock. When he found one, he squinted at it. "Thirty minutes, maybe?" He looked back down at her. "You ready, you think?"

She smiled a little shyly and nodded. "The practice helped. Thanks for coming over to help."

He smiled and winked. "I never mind coming over…to help."

 _He waited for her to answer the door, guitar in hand. When she opened the door, she had Yoby on her hip. "Chip!" he yelled, a smile lighting up his face, as he reached out._

" _No, no, sweetie," she said. "Chip's got his hands full." She stepped back so he could enter and he planted a kiss on her lips as he passed her. "I'm so glad you're here," she said, with a big smile, as she closed the door._

 _He smiled back. "You are?"_

 _She nodded. "I am." She started to walk towards the kitchen and he followed behind her, setting his guitar down in the den. "So, remember when I was going to make you dinner, back…months ago."_

 _He smiled. "I_ _do_ _remember. You told me what a great cook you were and then I had to go hungry."_

 _She swatted his arm and laughed, then slid Yoby into his high chair. "You did_ _not_ _go hungry. I fed you amazing Chinese takeout, as I recall," she said._

 _He pointed a finger at her and raised one eyebrow. "Yes, you did, now that you mention it." He sniffed the air. "But not amazing Chinese takeout tonight, I can tell."_

 _She shook her head. "Nope." She grinned. "Spaghetti and meatballs. Turkey meatballs."_

" _Setti!" Yoby yelled out._

 _She leaned in and took his little face in her hands and kissed his nose. "Yes, sir, Mr. Yoby. Setti for all!" She turned her head and looked up at him, an amused look on her face. "Mom makes the best setti. You'll see."_

 _Turned out she did. The food was wonderful, the three of them laughed and enjoyed each other, and he felt like he was home. While she was upstairs putting Yoby to bed, he sat on the couch in the den and tuned his guitar. He also thought about what she'd said earlier that day about the scene he and Susan had filmed being appropriately awkward. He found himself wondering if, one day, he would be in a similar awkward situation, having to acknowledge his heart was claimed by another._

 _Before he could dwell on it more, she was back, running her hand along the back of his shoulders as she walked around the couch and sat next to him. She pulled one leg up underneath her, propping the other foot on the table as she faced towards him. Then she leaned in and, putting her hands on his face, she kissed him. When she looked at him again, her eyes were sparkling and she had a warm smile on her face. "I love you," she said._

 _He put one hand on the back of her neck, rubbing his thumb along her collarbone as he gazed back at her. "I love you too," he said. Then he leaned forward and kissed her hungrily._

"So I'll meet you there?" she was asking and he brought himself back to the present.

He smiled and nodded. "I'll meet you there."

* * *

They sat in the studio, close enough that their knees touched. He wanted to reach out and hold her hand, but he felt like he couldn't do that. This was an important episode and the song was a key piece of it. It was the last scene they'd be filming for that episode, where they sat on Deacon's couch, clearly after sex, and sang to each other. Everything in the episode was complex, from Rayna's confusion after realizing the implications of sleeping with Deacon, Deacon's joy in being back with his true love and then his own confusion when Rayna seemed to push him away. And her finally overcoming her fears to stay with him. _Covering them up and pretending they're not there._ That's the way she described it when they did their usual episode breakdown. _She's setting them both up for a huge fall. Not on purpose. Just because she can't not love him._

They had both been looking forward to this scene though. It seemed to encompass who Deacon and Rayna were, what they were all about, how the music wound through their lives. The song was perfect and so it was important that they record it to evoke all that feeling in the scene. They were sitting, waiting for the producer to listen back to what they'd done. She put her hand on his arm. "I've been wondering if Deacon really wrote this song for Rayna and why she would have sung the lead," she said.

He smiled. She almost never got out of character during the work day, always trying to understand Rayna's motivations and infuse who she believed Rayna was into how she played a scene. He'd learned to do the same, for two reasons – one, because she did it and he trusted her, and two, because it made sense. He thought about it. "I'm thinking maybe it's Deacon's song and she's just singing it that night. It's obviously written from his point of view and clearly at a point where he was trying to right himself, promising her he'd clean up his act. That whole line – 'the struggle ain't over, but I hope you will stay, 'cause I'm quitting at the end of the day' – that's _his_ story."

She wrinkled her forehead. "But she's singing it to _him_ ," she said, obviously still struggling with that part of it.

He shrugged. "Maybe it's back to that whole 'why don't you cut any of my songs' thing?" he said.

She looked off to the side, then back. "Could be." She smiled then. "I love it though. It's such a beautiful song and it's so raw in the emotion. He'd do anything for her, lay it all down for her." She looked at him, her eyes saying so much. "She loves him. He loves her. In the moment, it really is just that simple." And he thought that maybe it was just that simple for them too after all.

"Okay, boys and girls, let's do that bridge and last chorus again," came the voice of the producer, and the mood was broken.

* * *

She got in bed first, wrapping the covers around her, laying her head on the pillow. He ran his hand through his hair, mussing it up a bit, and then crawled in beside her, his hand sliding under her head and the pillow she was laying on. She moved her hand so it was lying next to his, just barely touching. He slid closer, until he was lightly pressed against her back. He rolled towards her and put his other arm around her as she turned slightly back towards him, squirming gently against him. He looked down at her and said, "You know one thing that hasn't changed at all?" and lightly kissed her cheek, then leaned his face next to hers, grasping her hand in his.

She gave that low, throaty laugh. "Mm, what?"

"Cut." They didn't even move, just held that way, both turning their eyes to the director. "Chip, can you move just a touch closer to Connie?"

He smiled to himself. _Sure as hell can._ He nodded. "Yep." And then he did and they started the scene over.

* * *

He teased her between takes two and three about how her nipples got hard and she countered between takes four and five with the fact that _he_ got hard and they ended up in her trailer on the small, cramped couch, her sitting on the edge and him kneeling in front of her. Afterwards, as she struggled to slow her breathing, he rose up on his knees as she wrapped her legs around his waist and he cupped her ass with his hands, and he let his lips trail down the side of her neck, ending at the neckline of her blouse. She leaned her head back, her beautiful auburn hair cascading around her shoulders. He marveled at the softness of her skin, the light fragrance of her skin, the taste of her on his mouth, the light pink flush across her cheeks, and the way her arms laid on his shoulders, her fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck.

It felt like the whole world around them ceased to exist in that moment. All he was conscious of was holding her in his arms, breathing in her heavenly scent, and loving her. She looked at him then and smiled, saying, in her husky just-been-fucked voice, "Your turn, my love." It was really all that mattered.

* * *

They had a very late filming night at the General Jackson and, rather than driving all the way home and coming back early the next day, she made arrangements for her nanny to stay overnight with Yoby and met him at his apartment. As soon as he had let her in and shut the door behind her, she was in his arms, practically devouring him with a kiss. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him, and she arched her back. She finally pulled her lips from his and then gave him one final peck on the lips. Then she looked up at him and bit her lip lightly. "I've been wanting to do that all night," she said.

He laughed softly, still holding her tight. "You have, have you?"

She put her hand on his cheek. "Well, you were looking kinda handsome, you know," she said, with a smile.

He kissed her. "And you were looking pretty gorgeous yourself," he said. "I kinda liked that outfit you had on. Sexy yet still covered but still showing that beautiful skin." He reached up and ran his finger over the skin on her chest.

She gave him a demure smile and reached for his belt, unbuckling it. "I was kind of hoping to see a little more of your skin," she said, looking up at him through her eyelashes. She looked back down and slid his belt off. He could feel himself getting hard and then when she put her hand there, he sucked in his breath. She gave him a naughty smile. "Someone's ready for me," she said, her voice soft and low.

He bit down on his lip and then slid his hand up under the t-shirt she was wearing, laying his hand over her breast, then sliding it over to unfasten the clasp. He pushed aside the fabric of her bra and smiled as he felt her already taut nipple. "Someone's ready for me too," he growled. She was running her thumb over him and he groaned. "God, Connie," he murmured.

* * *

Their clothes littered the floor from the entryway to his bedroom. They had initially gotten no further than just inside the door. He turned her to face the wall and, his hands on her waist, had nudged her legs open and forcefully entered her. She gasped, her hands flat against the wall, pressing her ass back against him. They were both so turned on that it didn't take long for either of them to come and then he leaned against her back while they threaded their fingers together, not speaking, just breathing in deeply.

When he finally had caught his breath, he pressed his lips against her shoulder. She turned her head to the side. "Wow," she said, still a little breathless.

He squeezed her hands. "Yeah," he said. He took a step back, letting go of her hands and she turned to face him. He caught his breath, always mesmerized by how stunningly beautiful she was. He put his hand on her face, letting his thumb drag down over her lips. "You're more than just kinda gorgeous," he said.

She let a smile drift across her face. "You make me feel that way," she said. She reached for his hand. "Let's go to bed." She walked across the room to the still unmade bed and he followed behind her. When she got to the edge of the bed, he reached out and put his arms around her, pulling her back against him, leaning into her neck.

"I love you," he whispered.

She let out a contented sigh. "I love you," she whispered back. Then they crawled into bed and wrapped themselves up in the sheets and each other. Eventually she rolled onto her side and he spooned her, holding her close, and they were soon asleep.

* * *

When he woke up the next morning, she was laying on her side facing him, her eyes open. A smile crossed her face when she saw he was awake. "Good morning," she said, her voice thick with sleep.

He smiled back. "Good morning." He loved waking up with her. He felt a sudden pang, wondering, as the season wound down, how much longer they'd be able to do this. But he shook it off, not wanting to dwell on that when she was right here, in his bed, completely naked. He moved his hand, under the sheet, and let it glide from her hip over her abdomen and then to her breast. He watched her face as he tweaked her nipple, first gently, then more insistently.

She caught her breath audibly, then bit her lip, her eyelids closing slightly. She breathed in deeply, her legs shifting slightly under the sheets. He leaned in to kiss her then and she opened her mouth to his, letting her tongue slide over his. He moved his hand down between her legs and she moaned in the back of her throat as he slid two fingers inside her. Her hips started to move in time with his fingers moving in and out of her and she kissed him more hungrily, the little noises she was making becoming more constant.

Finally she pulled her lips from his and her eyes flicked open, dark with desire. She swallowed and then she whispered, "Don't make me wait, Chip," her voice husky with need.

So he didn't.

* * *

She was on set that day and he was taking advantage of the day off to fly back to LA a day early. Weekends were always bittersweet, because it always seemed to insert a dose of unwelcome reality into their situation. They never specifically talked about it, but it seemed they had a tacit agreement that anything outside the bubble of the two of them together was taboo. The only time they'd ever really talked about the outside world was that very first time. He was surprised, in a way, how easy it was to focus completely on her when they were together. She fully inhabited him then and there was no room for anything, or anyone, else. But when he was alone, the guilt sometimes overwhelmed him.

When he was in LA, he tried to stay fully present in his family. It always reminded him how much they meant to him, how much he loved them, how none of what he had in his professional life would be possible without their love, support, and belief in him. But it also reminded him how much things had changed with his wife. He had certainly loved her at one time, he would never deny that. They'd gone through so much together, personally and professionally. They had raised a beautiful family together and they were his world. But being in LA reminded him of everything he'd done without, for all those years.

Every time he got back to Nashville he would head straight to Connie's house. She would open her front door, her smile telling him how glad she was to see him and how much she had missed him, and he was done. He would walk into her embrace, pushing the door closed behind them, pushing her up against the wall in the foyer, sometimes not even making it beyond there. They would unzip each other and he would take her quickly, running his hands up under her blouse or t-shirt, pushing her bra up and holding fast to her breasts. And they would be back in their bubble.

He walked her to the door and then she turned and put her arms around him. He did the same, kissing her like he was drinking her up. When she pulled back, her lips were a little puffy and her face a little red from rubbing it on his cheeks. There was sadness in her eyes. "I'll miss you," she said. "So much."

He pressed his lips against hers. "It's just three days. I'll be back before you know it."

She shook her head. "It always feels like forever," she said, and he knew what she meant. It did for him too.

"I can call you," he said.

She kissed him again. "I would love that, but you can't. I know that. I'll just miss you until you come back to me." She put her hands on the back of his neck and looked into his eyes intently. "I love you. So much. Everything is worth it, for that."

He closed his eyes for a second. Every time she said those words, his heart beat faster and he wanted to shout to the world that Connie fucking Britton loved him. Loved _him_. Of all the people in the world, she loved _him_. He looked back at her and knew his eyes were a little damp. " _You're_ worth everything, baby," he said. He kissed her hard. "I love you more than you know."

She finally stepped out of his embrace, knowing her car service was waiting for her. She squeezed his hand. "I do know," she said softly. "And you are too." She raised her other hand to her lips and waved him a kiss, then she left.

* * *

He walked up behind her as she was waiting for a scene to be blocked. He bumped his shoulder against hers. "Hey."

She turned to look at him and smiled, a light flush crossing her face. He kind of loved that he still could make her do that. "Hey," she said, sounding as happy to see him as she looked.

He stood next to her for a moment, watching the activity. He knew it was a scene she had in Rayna's kitchen with Eric. He looked over at her. "So what did you think about doing that event at 3rd & Lindsley?" He knew she was terrified of performing live and much more comfortable in the studio, and he wasn't sure what she'd do. "I was thinking me and you could do a song together."

She looked at him and then shook her head. "No. I can't do that."

"Just one song, Connie. And we'd be doing it together." He leaned in close and lowered his voice. "I'll pick you up, take you home, and keep you up all night after."

She gave him a look, but the blush was back. "As lovely as that sounds, I just don't think I can," she said sadly.

He really wanted her to do it, thought it would give her confidence. "I think it would be fun. And no one expects you to be anything you're not."

She looked conflicted. "A duet?"

He nodded. "Maybe. Just something together. Something we've done before."

She narrowed her eyes a bit. "And you'd be right there."

He smiled, thinking maybe he was winning her over. "Sitting right next to you. I'll even hold your hand if that'll help."

She gave him a side-eye. "That probably wouldn't be a good idea." She chewed on her lip. "Maybe." He grinned and she pointed a finger at him, laughing. "I said maybe."

He put his hands in his pockets and gave her a knowing look. "I think I can talk you into it." He smiled. "See you later." And he walked off.

* * *

He was waiting for her in her trailer, going through his lines for his next scene. She gave him a look when she walked in. "How did you get in here?" she asked.

He smiled. "Asked someone to let me in," he said.

She gasped. "You didn't," she cried, as she locked the door behind her.

He laughed. "No, I didn't." He picked up a key from the table beside him. "You gave this to me, remember?"

She put her hand over her heart and sat down next to him, closing her eyes for a second. "Did anyone see you?"

"No." He shook his head. "You'd think you were ashamed of me," he said, smiling.

She smacked him lightly on the arm. "You know that's not true." She moved closer to him and put her hand on his leg and leaned in, giving him a kiss. She sat back, but didn't move her hand.

"So you thought anymore about singing with me?"

She made a face. "I don't know."

He took her hand and threaded his fingers through hers. "One song. I promise that's it. We'll practice and it'll be fine."

"I'm not that good, Chip."

He leaned in, sliding his hand behind her ear and into her hair, and kissed her, letting his lips linger on hers. "You are fantastic, Connie," he whispered. "Please say yes."

She put her hands on his face and kissed him back. "I just don't think I can," she whispered back. He brushed her breast with his other hand and then she sat back. "Don't you have a scene to do?" she asked, sounding a little breathless.

He did. It was actually a reshoot of a scene from the previous episode with Susan. He sighed. "Yeah, I do." He gave her a quick kiss. "You can do this, Connie. I know you can," he said, as he got up. He walked to the door and unlocked it. "Just think about it."

* * *

He found the perfect opportunity to convince her to do the event. As they were filming the scene in Deacon's house, where they sang 'The End of the Day', they sang the song to each other, as they all did during filming. Their mics were off, so it wasn't picked up on film, but it made it look less like they were lip syncing that way. Later the studio vocals would be dubbed over. This particular song was the montage song at the end of the episode, so most of the vocal was heard over other scenes, but the two scenes in Deacon's living room were key in setting up the final two episodes and Rayna's inner conflict.

He had worked out the harmonies for the two of them that they'd used in the studio. It wasn't imperative that they sing it that way on set, but that was what they tried to do. When the scene was finally done, he looked at her as they sat together on the couch, her hand on his arm, her knee pressed against his leg. He had his guitar across his lap as they gazed into each other's eyes, feeling the same love Deacon and Rayna felt for each other. "We gotta do this one, Connie," he said.

She scrunched up her face. "What?"

"This song. We can do this song at the event." He watched as she seemed to consider that. It wasn't a difficult song, not a lot of harmony changes, one she'd felt more at ease with in the studio.

She breathed in. "I guess," she said and he smiled.

* * *

She had tried to back out one more time, but he'd convinced her to do it. She made him promise it would only be one song, that they'd do it together, and that it would be the one they'd done on the show. He would have agreed to anything she asked, he thought, just to be able to get her out there. And, of course, she still showed up late. When he got word she'd finally arrived, he asked Buddy Miller and Colin Linden to fill in until he could get her onstage and hurried back to find her.

She was in a holding room and, when he closed the door, she was standing in the corner, her hands clasped together over her mouth. He couldn't help but grin and then she ran over to him and kissed him quickly. "I'm gonna regret this," she said.

He laughed. "No, you're not." He reached for her hand, so happy she'd changed her mind. "You wanna run through it once?" She nodded, looking a little like a deer in the headlights. He pulled up his guitar. "Here we go."

* * *

When they were ready to walk out on the stage, she surprised him by reaching for his hand. He looked at her and could see in her eyes that she was counting on him to get her through it. He gave her an encouraging smile and then he led her out to the stage.

"Look who I found!" he shouted, with a huge grin. "The one and only Connie Britton!" The crowd was obviously thrilled, giving her a huge reception. She smiled playfully and waved, holding tight to his hand.

He led her to the barstools they'd set up and they both sat down. "Hey y'all," she said, leaning into the mic, then smiling at him.

He looked out at the crowd. "We're gonna preview a song for y'all that's coming up soon. 'The End of the Day'."

She winked at him. "Should we Rayna and Deacon it up?" she asked, with a laugh.

He grinned, happy to see her get into it. "Absolutely." They went through the song, her eyes on him the entire time. He could hear the nervousness, knew it was killing her, but he was so proud of her. When they were done, he pointed towards her and looked out at the crowd. "Wasn't she great?" he asked and the crowd roared their agreement. "Connie Britton, everybody! Also known as the great Rayna Jaymes!"

They walked off the stage the same way they'd come on, hand in hand, and he could feel her shaking. When they got to the back hallway, he shifted his guitar and put an arm around her, holding her close. "You did it, baby," he whispered into her hair. "I'm so proud of you."

She looked up at him, her eyes wide and sparkling, a little flush across her cheeks. "Oh my God, I can't believe I really did that," she said. She put her hand over her heart. "That was kind of insane."

"You were awesome, baby," he said.

She looked at him like she didn't really believe him, but she smiled anyway. She raised up on her toes and whispered, "Please take me home, Chip." He looked into her eyes and nodded.


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: I want to thank everyone for the really kind reviews. It's so rewarding to see when people love this story or wait for the next chapter or reread it. I've never really written anything before, certainly not like this, and I think I'm almost as excited as y'all are when I get a chapter finished and ready to post. And meeting some likeminded ladies who also love Bristen has been such a bonus. Thank y'all again for reading!_

He waited for the nanny to leave, which made him think about what he and Connie were doing. He didn't regret it, had no intention of walking away, but it reminded him that they couldn't be open about their relationship. They couldn't do things couples would do, like go out to dinner or to a concert. She couldn't come watch him perform somewhere. They couldn't just walk on the streets, holding hands, being in love. Of course some of that was because she was Connie Britton and she was recognizable, with her head full of glorious auburn hair, that hair that had its own fan club even. He wondered if she wished things were different, if she sometimes resented the fact that, because he was married, she had to hide. She didn't say so, but every once in a while, she'd seem especially thoughtful, and he'd wonder.

He heard the nanny leave then and he got out of his car and went inside, still feeling pensive. But when he got upstairs, Connie was still jazzed up from the show and he got caught up in the aftermath with her.

She looked kind of like she was in a daze, her eyes a little wild and her hands fluttering around her. "I can't believe I actually did that!" she cried, when he rounded the corner. "I can't believe you actually talked me into it." She threw her arms around him and squealed. "Oh my God, Chip, I don't _ever_ want to do that again, but wow, that was such a rush." She grabbed his arm and looked up at him. "Is that how you feel when you perform? Like you're not even in your body?"

He smiled at the childlike wonder on her face. "Yeah, I guess it is." He pulled her into an embrace. "I'm so glad you got up there and did it," he said. "Now you know there's nothing to be scared of."

She looked at him and shook her head. 'Oh, no, I'm not doing that again." She had her hands on his arms. "I'm _never_ doing that again. That was a one time thing."

"Ah, come on, Connie, you know you loved it," he said, grinning at her.

"No, I didn't love it," she insisted. "I loved being out there with you, but I kept thinking the whole time that I was going to throw up. Plus I know I sounded so off-key. I could never do that again."

He kissed her then and she responded. When he let her go, he smiled at her. "I was proud of you for doing it," he said. "I know it scares you, but you were brave and it was fine."

She started to dance around the kitchen, her arms above her head, laughing. He couldn't help but smile. She was giddy, almost like she was high. It was as though the tension of worrying about singing on stage had finally been released. She turned back to him and gave him a seductive look. "You are just the best partner ever," she said, as she sidled up to him. "I mean, you just give me courage and everything." She slid her hand up his chest and bumped her hip against his, and then laughed. "You just make me better!"

Then she took his hand and started dancing around the kitchen. He laughed as he followed her around. She was flirty, frisky, playful and free spirited – and he liked her that way. It was something that didn't show on camera, the fun side of her. Rayna was professional and polished, something Connie was too, but when she was away from the cameras and the paparazzi and the spotlights, she was just genuine and authentic.

He was sure it was just a post-performance rush, but he had to admit he was enjoying her excitement. She reached up and put her hand behind his neck and drew him down to kiss her. She leaned into him, drawing out the kiss, as he felt himself responding to her. She pulled her lips from his and looked into his eyes with a sexy little smile. Then she started to unbutton his shirt.

"Connie," he said.

She looked at him. "Shh," she said, continuing to unbutton his shirt.

He took her hands in his and leaned in to kiss her. "Connie," he whispered against her lips. She just laughed. "Let's go upstairs." She bit down on her lip playfully, but then she let him lead her up the stairs and down the hall to her bedroom.

As soon as he closed the door, she tugged at his shirt and pulled it off. "You're so crazy sexy," she said, with a smile. "Watching you play the guitar and sing is such a turn on."

He laughed and then pulled her into an embrace. " _You're_ the one who's a turn on," he murmured into her ear. "My sexy girl."

She reached for his belt and unfastened it, then pulled it through the belt loops, dropping it on the floor. Then she slowly unzipped his jeans. She looked up at him, a serious look on her face, and then she put both hands on him. "Oh, God, baby," he groaned. She bit down on her bottom lip and massaged him with both hands and he thought he was going to explode. He grabbed her wrists. "Connie," he said, his voice thick to his ears.

"I like how you feel," she whispered. He clenched his jaw as he tried to maintain control. But her hands were driving him crazy.

He let go of her wrists and started to work on her belt and then the zipper of her jeans. He pushed them down, along with her panties, enough so that he could slide his fingers inside her. She caught her breath and tilted her head back, shaking her hair off her shoulders. He fastened his eyes on hers, daring her to look away, but she didn't. She made a little noise, then seemed to catch her breath. "You want me to fuck you?" he asked, his voice low.

She closed her eyes for just a second and he could feel her shudder, just a little. Then she looked back at him. "Oh, yes, please," she whispered. He pulled the rest of her clothes off and she did the same with his and then they fell into the bed together.

* * *

He was laying on his side looking down at her, as she lay wrapped in the sheet, her head propped on the pillows. She reached up and scratched his cheek with her fingernails. "I don't know what it is about you that just drives me wild," she said, with a shy smile.

He smiled, sliding his hand around her waist. "I don't know," he said. "Maybe it's the same thing about you that drives _me_ wild." He leaned down and brushed her lips with a kiss. "Do you suppose Rayna is like this with Deacon?"

She nodded. "I think she's completely uninhibited with him," she said. "I mean, he was her first and, for a long time, her only. I think he taught her everything and she loved him so much that she would just do anything for him." She shrugged a little. "I mean, I don't think they're like porn stars or anything, but I think he always wanted to please her and she always wanted to please him." She gave him a coy smile. "And I _do_ want to please you."

He leaned down and kissed her again, this time more fully. "And I want to please you," he whispered against her lips.

She let her hand run up and down his arm. "You know, I almost didn't go tonight. I mean, I really seriously thought I couldn't do it."

He breathed in. He would have been very disappointed had she not shown up. "But you did," he said.

She nodded. "I did. But when I got there, I had such a hard time getting out of the car. I knew you were waiting for me, and counting on me, but I was really scared, Chip." She looked at him with a serious look in her eyes. "But, you know, I keep trying to challenge myself and I had to remind myself why I took this role in the first place. Because it was scary and I didn't want to do something that didn't make me a little nervous, a little anxious. So I finally made myself get out of the car. Part of it, too, was that I didn't want to disappoint _you_."

He shook his head. "Ah, baby, you wouldn't have disappointed me. If you really were too scared, I'd have understood." He pushed a strand of hair back off her face. "But I'm glad you did. I'm glad we did it together."

"It's the only way I would have done it," she said. She smiled up at him. "I'm glad I did it too." Then she laughed. "But never again."

He grinned. "Even with me?"

She looked thoughtful, then grinned back at him. "Maybe," she said cautiously. "Only if you're on stage with me, singing with me. But I'd probably have to be drunk." They laughed together. Then she got serious again, running her fingers over his face. "You made me feel like I could do it, Chip. In that moment, I felt empowered. All because of you." She smiled. "You're like my song whisperer."

He looked puzzled. "A song whisperer?"

She nodded. "Yeah. You give me confidence." She smiled at him. "You're amazing, Chip Esten. I feel like I can really do this singing thing when you're there with me. Thank you for that."

He felt like his heart might burst. "You're amazing too, Connie Britton. You make me better in so many different ways. I'm still just so grateful to stand on stage with you, whether it's the Opry or 3rd & Lindsley, or a sound stage. You make me feel like I can do better." He slid down onto the bed and pulled her close, kissing her. "I love you," he murmured.

She put her hand on the back of his neck. "I love you too," she whispered back.

* * *

Video of their duet had been on social media for a couple days. As had video of some of the rest of the cast performances. It hadn't bothered him and, truthfully, he hadn't really considered any possible implications. It shouldn't have surprised him when his wife brought it up, but it did.

* * *

He was home in LA for the weekend and they were sitting on the patio Saturday morning with coffee and the paper, each of them with their own section, not talking. This had become the norm for them, even before he'd gone to Nashville. She laid down the paper she was reading and sat back in her chair. "So I saw a video of you and Connie Britton," she said.

He felt like his heart had plummeted to his stomach and he was instantly on alert. _Who could have seen us? Did someone see us at the river?_ He tried to stay calm, but his mouth felt dry and he could feel his heart racing. At first he didn't even connect what she was saying to their performance. He cleared his throat. "What?" he asked.

"A video. Of the two of you performing some song in Nashville," she said, her face carefully neutral.

He felt an inward sense of relief. "Oh, yeah, that," he said, smiling at her. "A bunch of us from the show performed at this place called 3rd & Lindsley. Kind of a cast event. She didn't want to sing by herself, so I sang with her."

Her face still didn't betray any emotion. "I see. Well, it seemed awfully…cozy."

He frowned. "What does that mean?"

She shrugged. "She didn't take her eyes off you. You either, for that matter." She breathed in. "It was almost like you were a…couple."

He swallowed. His heart was beating hard again. "It was a duet, Patty," he said, his jaw clenched. "One Deacon and Rayna sang together on the show. We were just getting in the groove."

She just looked at him for a moment, and he could see in her eyes that she wasn't sure she believed him. Then she nodded. She reached for the paper and opened it back up, then looked back at him. "Oh, and Taylor's on board now with moving." She gave him a thin smile.

He couldn't decide exactly how he felt about that. Mixed feelings for sure. But he smiled. "Great news," he said. He couldn't help but wonder if the video had played a part. Then he wondered just how he would tell Connie.

* * *

He was sitting at the airport waiting for his flight to board. He was taking a later flight than usual, so he wouldn't be able to stop by Connie's when he got back. He looked at his phone, trying to decide whether to call her and tell her the news or wait. Or text her. He decided immediately that texting would be the coward's way out. He wanted to tell her in person, but doing it over the phone could be easier. He wouldn't see her face, wouldn't see whatever emotion it conjured up. He flipped the phone over and over, trying to decide.

Finally he called her. "Hey," she said, when she answered. "Are you back?"

He shook his head. "Nah. Still on the later flight." He cleared his throat. "Addie had a soccer match this morning."

"Did she win?"

"Her team did, yeah."

"So when do you get back?"

"Not until late. Ten or so. Too late. I know you've got an early call."

He heard her sigh. "Yeah, I do. 5:30."

He whistled. "Wow, that's early."

"I know. I hate it. Are you in at all tomorrow?"

"Not til Tuesday." He cleared his throat again. "Maybe we could get together tomorrow? Get caught up?"

"Sounds perfect. I'd really like to get your thoughts on the end of the episode."

He had to admit he wondered where that was going to lead. Maddie would find out that Teddy was not her father and he wondered what direction they would take it in for the next episode. "We can have some fun speculating, for sure," he said, with a laugh.

She was quiet for a moment. "I miss you," she said.

He felt an ache in his heart. He couldn't tell her over the phone, that he knew for sure. "Miss you too, baby," he responded. "We'll see each other tomorrow."

"Yeah. I can't wait to see you. I'll call you."

He felt like he had a knot in his stomach, thinking about how he would have to tell her his news. At least he'd have a whole plane ride to think about what to say. "Love you, baby," he said then.

"I love you," she said. "Safe travels, my love."

He closed his eyes after he hung up, seeing her in his mind's eye. He imagined her with her glasses on, her hair pulled back into a ponytail, her face scrubbed clean, and one of her happy smiles on her face. That was how he loved her best. But he was worried about how she would react to the news about his family moving to Nashville. It wasn't that it would be a surprise – he thought she probably was expecting it – but it would impact their reality.

When he thought about not being able to see her regularly, not being able to spend quality time with her, not be able to spend the night and love her the way he wanted to love her, to be able to hold her in his arms all night and wake up with her in the morning, seeing the face of the woman he loved, he felt devastated. He rubbed his eyes. He was afraid he could lose her, that she wouldn't be okay with the change. She deserved better, that was for sure. She deserved someone who would love her the way she deserved, who could be in her life with no obstacles. He decided if she wanted to leave, he'd let her. He'd hate it, but he wouldn't hold her back.

The ache he felt in his heart stayed with him all the way back to Nashville.


	15. Chapter 15

The phone woke him up the next day. He reached for it on the bedside table and then smiled when he saw the picture of her with Yoby. "Hey," he said, his voice still gravelly with sleep.

"Oh, no, I woke you up," she said.

He sat up, rubbing his hand over his face. "No, it's okay. I probably needed to get up anyway." He squinted at the sunlight coming in through the blinds. "What time is it?"

"Eleven. I'm on a break."

He pushed back the sheets and slid to the side of the bed. "Damn. I really did oversleep."

She laughed softly. "Those cross-country flights really screw with our inner clock. So, I have about another hour or so and then I'm done for today. I was thinking maybe I could stop and pick up some lunch and come by?"

He felt his stomach clench. _I really don't want to tell her._ He breathed in. "Sounds good," he said, standing up. "Gives me enough time for a run and a shower."

She waited a moment. "I've really missed you. I know it wasn't that long, but, you know, I miss spending time with you."

He thought about how little time like this they'd have left. "Me too, baby," he said softly. "I can't wait to see you." He hung up and stood looking at her face on his phone screen. He swallowed hard. He had no idea what to expect.

* * *

He headed down the elevator and out onto the street. He slid on his sunglasses and put his ear buds in, turning up the music. It was a nice day, sunny and warm, but not hot. He did a few stretches, then started slowly jogging up the street. He picked up the pace as he crossed over, headed for the Bicentennial Mall. By the time he got back to the apartment, he'd worked up a good sweat, his clothes soaked, and he shivered just a little in the air conditioned elevator. He walked into his apartment and headed for the shower.

* * *

He was standing at the counter, looking over his scenes for the next day. They would be working at the Opry, filming Scarlett's Opry debut. He smiled to himself. He always liked performing at the Opry. He'd been invited several times to perform at the real Opry and every single time he did it was a thrill. When the knock came at the door, he took a deep breath. He still had no idea the right way to tell her but now she was here.

He walked over to the door and opened it. She was standing there with a bag in her hand and a smile on her face. "Hey there," she said, holding up the bag. "Sandwiches. That okay?"

He reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her in. "Sounds perfect," he said with a smile. He put his arms around her and kissed her, letting his hands trail up and down her back. In the back of his mind, he thought again about the fact that there wouldn't be many more of these moments, wouldn't be nights they could spend together, waking up together. He wanted to be sure to savor every single one they had left.

When he let her go finally, she smiled happily. "You hungry?" she asked.

He laughed and nodded. "Starving."

* * *

As the afternoon got later, they were wrapped up together in the sheets and each other. She was running her fingers over his face and he kissed her on the forehead. She looked into his eyes, seeming to be searching for something. She frowned. "You okay?" she asked.

This was his opening, his chance. He smiled at her and then nodded. "Yeah. Just worn out from the run." He brushed his fingers up and down her arm. "And probably the flight." He didn't think he could tell her when they were laying together in bed, naked and damp from sex. He leaned in, brushing her lips with a kiss. "Missed you," he said.

She let go of the frown and smiled back. "I missed you too." She moved a little closer to him. "I really missed you in my bed last night."

He smoothed her hair off her face. "Me too."

"So the network decided to cut the last episode," she said.

He frowned. "What?" They had just gotten word they'd been renewed, so that seemed odd.

She shrugged. "Apparently we'd run too far into May with the finale, so there you go."

"I don't understand. So what happens? Don't they have both episodes written?"

"Yeah, they'll just rework them to combine all the most important things into one, apparently. That's what they said anyway." She let her finger drift over his bare chest. "So after we finish filming this episode, we've got a week off while they rework the finale. Maybe ten days." She looked at him then, her eyes questioning.

He breathed in. "Nobody needs to know," he said softly and she smiled. He'd tell her then, he decided. No sense forcing it and that gave them some time alone.

She smiled playfully. "So Deacon and Rayna get to have some domesticated time this episode," she said with a grin.

He laughed. "Oh, yeah. Dinner with the girls."

She wrinkled her nose. "I have to say that I find Rayna to be almost ridiculously cautious, you know? I mean, she wants to keep Deacon secret until she can tell the girls, then she invites him over for dinner and you'd think she'd, you know, _tell the girls_. But she doesn't."

He thought about that. "Maybe she was going to at dinner. But Teddy messes up the vibe of all that."

She nodded. "Yeah, you might be right about that." She laughed then. "You know how much I love Rayna, but man, that girl sure does have a blind spot about that secret she's hiding."

He smiled, then leaned over and kissed her. "I think that's something I like about Rayna. She's sort of innocent, in a way, or naïve, maybe."

"Oh, I don't know that she's naïve, per se, although she definitely is about relationships. But she just thinks her life can go on just as it always has." Her look turned serious. "I think she loses herself a little bit with Deacon. She was able to hold onto the truth about Maddie for all those years because she had Teddy. But I don't see how she can do that and have a relationship with Deacon, so Teddy's right about that. _And_ we see Maddie finding out Teddy's not really her father at the end. So how long will it take for her to start putting the pieces together? And there's Rayna, not on the high road of _that_ reveal."

He smiled. He loved her passion. She was passionate about so many things, both in the world and in her life. She was passionate about the show and about making it realistic. They had talked, very early on, when it was clear that Maddie was Deacon's daughter, how soap opera-ish and unrealistic that storyline was. It made for good drama, certainly, but there was not a good way for that particular story thread to end, she didn't think. He breathed in. "I guess we'll see what happens. What does Deacon do when he finds out? What does it mean for him and Rayna?"

She shook her head. "Could you even imagine a scenario like that in real life? I mean, I guess there are some scenarios where that could believably happen, but he's just been there every single day, pretty much since Maddie was born, right?" He nodded. "I think in real life, it could destroy them. He would never forgive her. He'd feel so betrayed."

He rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. "I don't know." He turned his head to the side to look at her. "I think he'd feel those things, but if they really do have this once in a lifetime love, don't you think he'd eventually be able to figure out a way to forgive her?"

She gave him a side-eye. "I think you could probably bet money on it. They've definitely hit gold with Deacon and Rayna. Nobody who watches the show will stand for them not to be together." She laughed a little. "You like being part of the biggest ship on the show?"

He frowned. "'Ship'?"

She laughed again. "You've never heard that?" He shook his head. "Fans who watch a show really kind of latch on to a relationship on the show. Usually one with really intense chemistry. Fans shipped Coach and Tami, really loved that relationship. It's the same for Deacon and Rayna. The star-crossed lovers." She grinned.

He found it all amusing and laughed. "Seriously?" She nodded. "Well, I guess it's better to be the ship than not, huh?"

She rolled onto her side, facing him. "Yep." She ran a finger down his jawline and he turned onto his side. "Kind of like I'm shipping you and me," she said, giving him a look.

That was all it took to get him aroused and he put his arm around her and pulled her to him, kissing her passionately. When he slid inside of her, he forgot everything except for the way she made him feel and how very much he loved her.

* * *

Filming at the Opry always left him with a little sense of awe. Just like performing there did. He wondered sometimes if it would ever leave him. Connie had told him multiple times how fortunate they were to be able to film in and around Nashville, having access to some of its more iconic sites. That had been one of the things she'd loved most about _Friday Night Lights_ , she'd said, the ability to have that realism be on screen, like another character. They all had a sense of reverence about places like the Grand Ole Opry House, though.

He'd finally finished his scene with Clare in the 'Into the Circle' dressing room. It had reminded him of his first night at the Opry, even though he'd been at the Ryman instead. He could almost feel the excitement and nervousness of everyone who'd ever sat in this room and he thought Clare played that sense of awe brilliantly. Even through all four takes.

When he walked out of the dressing room the final time, he'd looked to his left and had seen Connie sitting on one of the couches in the common area. He walked over and sat down next to her. She looked up from her phone and smiled. "Hey," she said. "Y'all finally get it?"

He laughed a little. "Yeah. I thought we got it right the first time, but you know how that is."

She laughed too. "I _do_ know." The blue blouse she was wearing seemed to emphasize the blue in her eyes, which also seemed to sparkle a little more. She looked around, then leaned in a little closer. "We still on for tomorrow?" she asked, her voice low. They both had a shorter day.

He nodded. "Yep," he said, keeping his voice low too. Just then they were called to the stage and they got up and walked away separately.

* * *

After Yoby went to bed, they walked out on the deck behind the house. It was a warm evening, with a light breeze, the perfect spring day. She brought out two tumblers and he followed with the bottle of whiskey. After they settled into their chairs, he poured out two fingers of whiskey in each. She picked hers up and took a sip, while he looked off into the distance. The time had come to tell her about his family's plan to move and he still wasn't exactly sure how to bring it up. His wife had called the night before to discuss a plan to come out and look for a house, which made it feel more real. Every time he thought about it, it caused such mixed feelings, and then he'd feel incredible guilt for having them. He missed his kids. Missed being there to help with homework, to go to their soccer games and track events, talk with them after school, and just spend time with them. It would be easier, for sure, if he just loved his wife, the way he had in the early years of their marriage. It would be easier if he looked forward to his whole family being there, if none of what had transpired over the course of the season had ever happened.

But it had. And now he faced the unknown. It wouldn't be completely unexpected, he knew. Connie had always known it was a possibility - a probability – especially if the show was renewed. And he'd told her, more than once, that he was in it for the duration, but that was always when the future was cloudy and plans weren't in motion. Now, with the reality of it facing him, he had no idea what to expect. Would she just walk away? He wouldn't blame her. It would be awkward, for sure, to keep working together. He was certain that at least part of the chemistry even he could see on screen between the two of them had to do with their own personal chemistry. The love in Deacon and Rayna's eyes was made even more real by the love in his and Connie's.

He felt her hand on his arm then and it broke his musing. When he turned to look at her, he saw concern in her eyes. "Chip? Is everything okay?" she asked.

He took a deep breath.

* * *

After he told her, she looked down at her lap for a moment, then got up and walked to stand at the railing of the deck. He sat forward in his chair, leaning on his elbows, watching her back. He thought he saw her body shake just a little, as though she were crying, and he felt like crying too. He wanted to give her space, but he also wanted to comfort her. But he had no real idea what that might mean. With those five words – _my family's moving to Nashville_ – their future changed. With those five words, he no longer felt any sense of control over the situation. Every ball was in her court. Every decision going forward was hers.

He still loved her – and he'd told her that – just the same as before. He still wanted them to be together, no matter what obstacles they faced. He still wanted to figure it out, even when it was hard. He'd known for sure that this was what would test them, tell them whether or not they were in it for the long haul. But it was really up to her.

Finally she turned to face him. He looked up at her face and he could see the tears. It broke his heart. She looked tiny and fragile in that moment and he was suddenly afraid of what she would say. Her eyes were filled with pain and sorrow. As she pushed herself away from the railing and walked towards him, he stood, holding his breath.

When she reached him, she took his hand, and led him into the house and up the stairs.

* * *

She was laying with her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest. He let his hand rest on her shoulder as he held her close, not saying anything, waiting for her. She sighed. He waited. Finally she spoke. "I'm not sure where this leaves us," she said quietly. "It was always out there, lurking, you know? But I never let myself really think about it. And now I have to."

He breathed in. "Connie, you know how I feel. I don't want things to change," he said.

She turned and rested her chin on his chest, looking him in the eye. "But things _will_ change, Chip," she said. "How in the world will we ever have time alone? How do you carry on a…relationship when you can't even be together?"

He rubbed his face with his hand. "We can still see each other…."

She raised up on her elbow and frowned. "How?"

"You have a trailer. I have a trailer."

She sat up then, rolling her eyes. "Right. That people can see us coming in and out of. And I don't see us hiding out in a closet on set or anything. I just don't see how this works."

He was very distracted by her breasts, rising up and down with her agitated breathing. He wanted to reach out and put his hands on them, to get her to stop focusing on roadblocks, but he knew that would only piss her off. So he looked away. "We'll figure it out, baby. I _promise_ we'll figure it out." She leaned back against the headboard then, her arms crossed and her jaw set. "We _will_ , Connie. Somehow we'll figure it out." He sighed. "Unless you don't want to."

She pulled her knees up to her chest and then put her head down. "It would never be that I don't want to," she said, her voice a little muffled.

He felt a glimmer of hope then and he sat up as well, putting his hand on her back. "I just can't walk away right now," he said.

She turned her head to face him. "I know. I just feel conflicted." She sighed. "And a little selfish."

"You have every right to feel selfish," he said. "I feel selfish too."

She slid away from him and got out of bed, walking over to get a robe. She turned back to him, as she tied the sash on the robe. "You _are_ selfish, Chip. You want to have a wife and kids and you want to have me on the side. The only problem with that is that _I'm_ the one who gets shortchanged. Maybe not at first, maybe you make an effort to try, but in the end, the way I see it, is that you get pulled back into that old life you had before you and I ever came out here and I'm left with nothing." She was pacing back and forth and then she stopped to look at him. " _I'm_ selfish because I want something that was never mine and that I never should have wanted in the first place. Although I realize that's partly my fault because I lost my mind for a minute. But no matter, I'm still the one left holding the bag and you, well, you really don't lose anything."

He had a huge knot in his stomach as he listened to her. He hated hearing it, hated knowing she felt that way. "I do lose something, Connie, if that's the way you see it," he said. She looked at him questioningly. "I lose _you_. If you walk away, I lose _you_. I lose the woman I love. The _only_ woman I love." He breathed out. "My marriage is a marriage for the kids. That's all. That's all it's been for a long time. I've told you before why I stay, why I would want to stay for a little longer. You're not on the side, though. Don't ever think you're not first. But if it means losing you, baby, I'll do whatever I have to."

She leaned back against the wall. "I don't know what that means right now, Chip. You know, I fell in love with you, knowing you were married, knowing this day would come, and now that it's here, I don't really know what to do. And I have to accept that that's on me." She reached up and wiped at her face. "I think maybe you should go," she said softly.

He could feel his own tears rolling down his face. He didn't want to leave her, or lose her, but he really didn't know what to do. It would be hard, that he knew for sure. He just hoped she would decide it was worth it. That _he_ was worth it. Because he knew for sure she was.

He got out of bed and pulled on his clothes, then walked around to where she still stood. "I love you, Connie," he said. "I hope you believe that."

She nodded. "Actually I do believe that," she said. "But I need to do some thinking." She put her hand on his arm. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She didn't walk downstairs with him and he felt empty as he walked out to his car and drove away.

* * *

"Good grief, Chip, I can't believe the dark circles under your eyes today," the makeup artist chided him as she worked on him. Usually he required very little makeup, but she'd been tsking him about this since he'd sat down.

He laughed softly. "You don't think dark circles are a good look for Deacon?" he asked. He really wasn't surprised he had them, since he'd hardly slept a wink. All he could see was Connie's tear-streaked face and the sadness of her posture.

She shook her head. "They're not a good look for anyone," she said. "And I've had more than my fair share of them today."

He glanced at her. "Like an epidemic, you mean?"

She nodded, patting underneath his eyes. "Connie and Lennon too."

He had to force himself not to react to her saying Connie's name. "Lennon?" he asked, over the lump in his throat. "Why would a teenager have dark circles?"

"Oh, you must know about teenage girl drama, right?"

He smiled a little, thinking he did, in fact, know a little about teenage girl drama. "I can only imagine," he said.

* * *

The scene was not one the two of them were filming together. He was in Deacon's bedroom and Connie was in Rayna's bedroom. They would actually talk on prop phones, but the scene would be cut to shift back and forth with the dialog. It wasn't a particularly difficult scene to film – any retakes could be done afterwards without recreating the entire scene – but he thought it was probably a good thing they weren't in the scene together, until they'd had some time to talk.

He thought she sounded a little subdued as she read her lines. Professional, as always, and believable to the tone of the scene. He only hoped he did half as well as she did. At the end when she said "I love you", he tried hard to believe she was saying it for Connie too.

* * *

He didn't see Connie at craft services during lunch, so he assumed she had gone back to her trailer. He thought about calling her or texting her, but decided he needed to give her space. There were no extras on set that morning, so he ate quickly and then excused himself, walking over to Deacon's house, not wanting to walk out to the trailer farm. He had a while before they filmed the next scene, so he stretched out on Deacon's bed, closing his eyes, hoping he could get a nap in.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he'd obviously fallen asleep, because he jerked awake when he felt someone sit on the bed. He sat up and rubbed his face with his hands and turned to see Connie. He tried to laugh it off. "Oh, hey, I guess you caught me," he said.

She gave him a tiny smile, then rubbed her hands on her legs. She looked back at him. "I guess you didn't get much sleep either," she said.

He shook his head. "Not really."

She looked down, running her tongue over her bottom lip. She ran her hand over the bedcovers and then looked back at him. "I wasn't prepared last night," she said. "I wasn't expecting that, at least not last night."

He breathed in. "I know. I'm sorry, I…."

She waved her hand. "It would have taken me by surprise no matter when you'd said it, so, you know, _that's_ not the thing." She cleared her throat. "And it isn't like it wasn't a very real possibility because, you're right, we'd talked about that." When she looked into his eyes, he was afraid to try to dissect what he saw there, afraid to get his hopes up at all, because he was also afraid she was going to dash them for good. She breathed in. "I knew it could get messy, _would_ get messy, and I told you I was all in anyway. Which, you know, is all good when the future isn't your reality. But now it is. And I had to really think about what that meant."

He nodded. "I get that," he said.

She looked like she wanted to cry then and his heart sank. She slid her hand over so that one finger was just barely touching his. "I can't…let go." He closed his eyes as a feeling of relief washed over him and he felt tears build up in his eyes. When he looked back at her, he could see she was still emotional, but she gave him a smile. "I'd still rather live with messy than without it. For now, anyway."

He slid his hand a little closer to hers, but she pulled it away, giving him a warning look. "We'll figure it out," he said.

She nodded. "Come by tonight," she said and then she turned away and got up from the bed, walking briskly off the set.

He smiled to himself. Even though she qualified it, he was feeling more hopeful.


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: This is kind of a short chapter, but with the holiday weekend coming up, I wanted to be sure to post something. I'll go longer next chapter._

He didn't have to do anything in the scene except watch Connie, which he was more than on board with. As she walked down the steps and they walked off the set, she looked at him and shook her head. "That was probably the clunkiest line I've said this whole season," she said. "'We've always been friends.'" She rolled her eyes. "I mean, what the hell did _that_ mean? Seriously?"

He laughed quietly. "Well, wasn't that the party line?" He looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

She waved her hands in the air and shook her head again. "I guess," she said, sounding a little exasperated. "It's Rayna wanting to think nobody can figure out what she's doing." She stopped then and he did as well, turning to look at her. She looked off over his shoulder, then back, her face composed. "About seven-ish?" she said, lifting her shoulders in a shrug.

He nodded. "Yeah."

She tapped his arm with the water bottle she still had in her hand from the scene. "Bring food, okay?" She gave him the hint of a smile, then walked off, leaving him to watch her as she headed out towards the trailer farm.

* * *

When she opened the door that night, she still looked a little reserved. She had Yoby in her arms, dressed for bed, and she turned away quickly as he entered, heading towards the den. He felt a sharp stab to his heart. Clearly things were still unsettled and he felt a little like he couldn't breathe. He followed, carrying the bag of Thai food into the kitchen and setting it on the counter, then headed back for the den.

"Will you read him his story?" she asked and he nodded, taking Yoby from her. She handed him a book, 'Good Night Moon' and said it was his favorite. He sat on the couch, holding Yoby in his lap, and she walked back to the kitchen. He opened the book and let Yoby help turn the pages as he read. He couldn't help but remember that this had been Taylor and Addie's favorite book when they were not much older than Yoby. It had been one of the things he'd loved most about being a dad, those quiet times together.

He could hear Connie in the kitchen, although he tried to stay focused on the book. He heard the rattling of paper, the clink of glasses, her walking around. It was as though she was trying to stay occupied and away from him. He felt a knot in his stomach.

He was almost finished with the book when she walked back into the den with two glasses of whiskey. She walked around the couch and sat on the coffee table across from him and Yoby. She smiled and then made a goofy face for Yoby, who laughed.

"Is Chip a good reader?" she asked Yoby, who nodded. "Better than Mom?"

Yoby hesitated a second, then yelled, "No!"

She laughed and reached for his foot, tugging on it a bit. "Good answer." She looked at him then, her smile fading. "So are we finished?"

He shook his head. "One last page, Mom, then he's all yours."

She sat watching them as he finished, then handed him off to her. "Let's go, little man," she said. "Tell Chip good night."

"Night!" Yoby cried.

"Don't let the bed bugs bite," he responded with a grin.

She reached out and patted his knee. "I'll be right back," she said.

"I'll be here waiting," he said, watching as she got up and walked out of the room. He wondered what to expect when she came back. He kept telling himself she wouldn't have invited him over, wouldn't have asked him to bring dinner…. He still had that knot in his stomach. He reached for one of the glasses of whiskey and took a sip, then sat back on the couch and thought about how he would miss nights like these. Once his family was in Nashville, they'd be restricted to time on the set and any other free time they could work out. If they were still in this together, he thought. He felt a little anxious, wondering what would happen that night.

When she came back, she picked up the other glass and then sat next to him on the couch, turned towards him. "Thanks for doing that," she said.

"My pleasure."

She breathed out and then she drained her glass, making a little face as the whiskey went down. She set down her glass and then leaned her elbow on the back of the couch, resting her head on her fist. After a moment, she reached out her hand and let her fingers trail over his, and then she sighed. "All I've thought about all day is how exactly we're gonna do this," she said quietly, her eyes searching his.

He bit his lip and then turned his hand over, letting her thread her fingers in his. "I think before we get to that, I gotta know if you're all in. I mean, I know what you said earlier, but are you really all in?"

She looked at him a long time before she answered. "I love you," she said finally. "That should be your answer." He felt overcome with emotion and he started to lean towards her, but she held up her other hand. "It's not going to be easy. I mean, I never saw myself in this kind of relationship. I never saw myself as the kind of woman who would fall in love with another woman's husband, no matter how broken their marriage was. I'm going to struggle with this sometimes, Chip, I just need you to understand that."

He nodded. "I get it."

She shook her head. "I don't think you really do. I know you'd like for me to be there in the end, whenever that is." She got a pensive look on her face. "I just don't know what the future holds." Suddenly she got teary. "When I dream at night, it's that we find each other in the end, that we get to have a real future, because, you know, I love you that much. But I also have to take care of my heart. And my son's. I don't want you to hurt us."

He squeezed her fingers with his, swallowing over the lump in his throat. "I don't want to hurt you, Connie. You know that. But nothing about this is simple. Trust me, I want it to be. But it's not." He lifted her hand to his lips. "I love you too. I love you enough that I'm willing to risk everything."

She took a deep breath. "When I saw you sitting there, holding Yoby, reading to him, I just…I don't know, I just _wanted_ that. Wanted that for us." She bit her lip. "And I realized what it means to you to have this life with your kids. I wouldn't want to not be with Yoby, so I understand that." She smiled at him then. "I love that you feel that sense of responsibility, that it matters to you that you give your kids what you didn't have. How could I not love that about you?" He could see the tears in her eyes then and he felt the tears in his own. "You're a good man, Chip. I don't think you _want_ to hurt anyone, including me, so I'm gonna have to trust that."

He leaned in then and she put her hand on his cheek as he kissed her, first gently, then more insistently. She let go of his hand and climbed onto his lap, putting her arms around his neck, as he wrapped his arms around her waist. As he continued to kiss her, he thought about what she'd said. _I don't want you to hurt us._ He had no idea what the future would hold, what their lives would look like when they came back after the summer break, but he did know that right at that moment, everything he ever wanted in his life was in his arms and he made a promise to himself that he would do whatever it took to protect that.

* * *

He ran his finger down her bare skin, from between her breasts to her abdomen and she shivered and made a tiny gasping noise. He smiled. "You okay?" he asked softly.

She laughed quietly. "Still so sensitive," she murmured, sounding a little breathless still.

He grinned and then breathed in deeply. "That was kind of…wow," he said.

She laughed again. "Yes, it was."

He traced her cheek with his index finger. "I had no idea you were that…flexible." He leaned over and kissed her. "But I really, really liked it."

She blushed. "I don't know _where_ that came from," she said, with a chuckle. "I think you must inspire me or something." She rolled onto her side to face him and ran the back of her hand over his face, looking into his eyes. "This part of us is so amazing, but you know I love you for so much more than this."

He nodded. "I know. Just being with you is enough." He screwed up his face and then grinned. "Well, almost enough."

She smiled and then she put her hand on his chest. "I know we both have an early call in the morning," she said.

He sighed. "You telling me to go?" he asked, feeling disappointed to have to end the evening.

She looked at him and then shook her head. "If you promise to leave when the alarm goes off, I'd really like for you to stay."

He kissed her. "I can do that."

She grinned. "Good." Then she sat up, pulling the sheet up around her. "'Cause I want to talk about tomorrow."

He frowned. "Tomorrow?"

"Yep. The family dinner."

"Oh, yeah." He smiled and sat up next to her. "All that domestication going on." He gave her a look. "You sure you wanna talk script when we've gotta get up so early in the morning?"

She reached for his hand and smiled. "We haven't really talked about it at all, you know?" Her look turned thoughtful. "I have this feeling things are gonna go off the rails. Rayna sort of blows off Maddie's questions, which is dangerous, in my opinion, considering the Teddy and Peggy thing."

He squeezed her hand. "I think she's just thinking about how good it feels to have Deacon back in her bed," he said with a grin.

She laughed. "Well, it's more like she's in _his_. I mean, I don't see her inviting him to spend the night anytime soon."

He gave her a side-eyed look. "I can't see him sleeping in Teddy's bed either," he said, with a chuckle. He leaned over then and kissed her. "I really don't want to talk about Rayna and Deacon," he murmured. "I don't even want to talk about Connie and Chip. I'd really just like to put my arms around you and get some sleep."

She reached up and put her hands on his face, brushing his lips with hers. "That does sound awfully appealing."

He kissed her again, his lips lingering. Then he smiled. "I can still taste that whiskey. My sweet addiction. Those whiskey lips of yours."

She laughed softly. "Did you finish my song?"

He nodded. "I did. I need to bring my guitar over next time and I'll play it all the way through. Along with something else I wrote."

"Another song for Rayna?"

He shrugged. "Not exactly. But it's very Deacon like, I think. Kind of the rough life he had, especially before he met Rayna. The life he had that still haunts him, plays a big part in his life with and without Rayna in it."

"I need my own little private concert then, it sounds like." She smiled, then turned onto her side away from him and slid down on the bed. "You're right, let's get some sleep." He moved in behind her, putting his arm around her waist as she reached over and turned off the light. He laid his hand on her stomach and fitted himself against her, breathing in her scent, putting little kisses on her neck. He slid his hand up and cupped her breast and she made a little moaning noise. He was getting aroused and he knew she could feel it, as she shifted her bottom against him. He nudged his knee between her legs, continuing to plant little kisses across her shoulder and neck. "Oh, Chip," she moaned and lifted her leg and hooked it behind his hip and he closed his eyes as he buried himself deep inside her.

It certainly wasn't all about the sex for the two of them, but he did know that the two of them fit together like they were two pieces of a puzzle, one sliding seamlessly into the other, into that place that meant for just the two of them. He had never felt anything like this in his life.

* * *

The next morning he slipped out of bed, kissing her on the forehead as she smiled sleepily at him, and then headed out for his car. The sun was starting to rise in the east and there was an orange-y glow on the horizon. There was just a little spring nip in the air and a breeze rustled through the new leaves on the trees as he headed down the steps. Walking to his car, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and noticed a missed call and a voicemail from his wife. And also a text. _Where the hell are you?_ He closed his eyes for a moment and breathed in sharply.

He'd have to do some damage control.


	17. Chapter 17

Nashville was quiet and peaceful at 5:30 in the morning. His mind was anything but as he headed down the winding streets towards the interstate. The call had come around 10:00 the night before, when his phone was downstairs in Connie's den and he was upstairs in her bed. The text had come an hour and a half later, when he was deep into sleep, his arm wrapped around her. It was nothing urgent, just a check-in call, but the text was out of the ordinary.

As he approached his apartment building, he felt a sense of apprehension. He parked in the garage and walked slowly to the apartment. He stood outside the door for a moment, wondering how likely it would be that she would have come to Nashville without warning. His chest felt tight as he inserted his key in the lock and hesitantly opened the door. He stepped inside and closed it quietly, then looked through the apartment to the window in the living room, the blinds still open. He listened but all he heard was quiet.

He walked softly to the bedroom, where the door was open. The brightening sky revealed the unmade bed and everything as he'd left it. He closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. Patty wasn't the impulsive type – that was more typical of him than her – but she'd seemed oddly unnerved when he'd been there the previous weekend. He wasn't going to LA the upcoming weekend because of a late Friday shoot and an Opry performance, so he hadn't quite known what to expect.

He breathed out, feeling himself relax. It was too early to call, even too early to text, so he undressed and headed for the bathroom for a shower.

* * *

It was 7:30 when he got to the set, after spending time in hair and makeup. That was when he pulled out his phone and called.

"So what was the deal with the text?" he asked.

"You didn't answer your phone. You didn't call me back. What was I supposed to think?"

"It was a late night rehearsing for today. It just seemed too late to call."

She was silent for a moment. "Were you rehearsing with Connie Britton?"

He didn't really want to get into a conversation – or argument – he didn't want to have. He wasn't sure where she was headed with this. "Among others."

"Seems like you've always got scenes with her."

"My character and her character have a history. Not surprising we'd have scenes together. You knew that when I took the job." He could hear the edge to his voice. He thought back to her comment about the video, that he and Connie had seemed cozy. He'd gone back and watched the video himself, trying to watch it with an objective eye, and even he could see the chemistry there. It made him wonder how many others saw it too.

He heard her huff on the other end. "We're two hours behind, Chip. That seems awfully late to still be rehearsing," she said.

"Look, there's a lot of rewriting going on right now, changing things for the last episodes. Not sure why exactly, but it just means a lot more rehearsing when that happens." He cleared his throat, deciding to change the subject. "What's going on with the kids?"

She didn't respond right away. He wondered if she was trying to decide whether to push things or just ignore it. Finally she said, "The usual. They're disappointed you won't be here this weekend, but they understand."

He nodded, even though she couldn't see him, and breathed a little sigh of relief. "Next weekend I'll be there."

"The girls both have games, Chase has a meet, so that's a good weekend to be here." It struck him again, how clinical their conversations seemed to be now, always about the kids and their schedules. He'd almost forgotten that they'd ever had any other kind of conversations. Every now and then, he'd wonder if he should've tried harder, made more of an effort, worked at things. Now he just wondered how to manage until the kids were out of the house.

Just then Connie walked onto the set, stopping far enough away so that she was out of earshot. She smiled and raised her hand in a wave. He gave her a head nod and smiled back. "Listen, I gotta run," he said into the phone. "Talk later." He disconnected and walked over to where Connie was waiting. "Hey there," he said. "You get a good night's sleep?" He winked and she laughed, that low, husky laugh he loved.

"Yeah, I would say I did," she said languidly.

He ran his eyes over her, then looked behind her. "I see you're wearing Rayna's 'I love you' belt today," he said with a grin.

She made a face. "Well, you know, she's having her guy over for dinner and she loves him, so she wants him to know." They headed towards Rayna's kitchen set. "So what do you suppose the story is behind the belt? Has she had it forever? Did she wear it at all during the Teddy years? Or has it just now come out of hiding in that secret place she keeps all her Deacon-mobilia?"

He laughed. "'Deacon-mobilia'? Is that even a word?"

She shrugged and grinned. "It is now."

He scratched his chin. "Maybe Deacon had it made for her, you know, back in the early days."

She looked thoughtful. "That could be. Or she had it made and wore it just for him."

He shook his head. "No, actually I think he got her the belt and she got him the Deacon guitar strap."

She wagged a finger at him. "You're probably right about that."

They had reached the set and he wandered over to the guitars on stands. He looked them over and then looked back at her. "You ever wonder why Rayna has all these guitars when she really wasn't very good at playing them?" he asked.

She walked over to stand beside him. "That's a very good question." She tapped her index finger over her lips. "Maybe she took some of Deacon's?" She shrugged, then shook her head. "No, I don't think that's it. Maybe she just likes to look the part of the country music queen. I mean, every country music artist has guitars and cowboy boots and engraved leather belts, right?" She touched a finger to the belt she was wearing. "And she likes rhinestones. So I bet she collects guitars for the coolness factor."

He smiled. "You're probably right. And Rayna Jaymes is nothing if not cool, am I right?"

She laughed. "You are _so_ right." She turned and headed back for the kitchen island. She pulled open a drawer and smiled. "Cheat sheets are here. Mama's ready," she said, holding up one of the script sheets they always kept in the drawers.

He smiled, then went back to looking over the guitars they'd placed on the set. He decided to go with the Gretsch Dobro. That felt very Deacon. He picked it up and looked it over. He was learning more about guitars every day, between playing them, working with Colin Linden on the performing side, and spending time in local guitar stores, educating himself. He had bought a couple new guitars, nothing super expensive, but definitely a step up from what he'd brought with him to Nashville. The Dobro he had in his hand was definitely not a top of the line, but it was serviceable and worked for the scene.

He walked back over to the kitchen and stood opposite Connie at the island. She was moving some of the prop vegetables on the cutting board. She looked up and smiled. "I do like you in a flannel shirt," she said. "I know Chip doesn't wear them, but Deacon definitely looks all rugged and manly in one." She batted her eyelashes at him.

He laughed, leaning on the counter. "I'm not sure I've worn a flannel shirt in my life, quite honestly. But it does seem rather Deacon like, for sure."

Just then the Stella sisters came onto the set, chattering up a storm, and it was time for a run-through of the scene.

* * *

They spent all morning on the scene. It had its lighthearted moments, then the tension when Eric came into the scene. He got frustrated after a while with all the retakes and he could see Connie clenching her jaw between takes. When it was finally over and the episode director was satisfied, he gave her a look. "Wanna head over and get some lunch?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, but let's take it to my trailer, okay?" she said, her voice low.

"Sounds good to me," he said and then they walked together to craft services. As they stood in line, he turned to her. "I'm done for the day."

She made a face. "I've got a couple scenes with Eric." She sighed. "I wish I thought I'd get out of here early." She looked at him with a longing in her eyes. "I'd love to meet down at the river, you know? Just get away for a minute."

He shrugged. "We can do that. It stays lighter later. I mean, if you want."

She took a deep breath, crossing her arms over her waist. "Let me see when we get done." She smiled. "I'll do my very best work, so we don't have as many takes."

He bumped her shoulder and smirked. "If anyone can do it, you can," he said.

* * *

He followed her to her trailer and then up the steps. He locked the door behind him and then they sat across from each other at the small table, with their food. "I see Rayna's wearing one of her Belle Meade uniforms," she said and rolled her eyes.

He turned to look. Wardrobe had brought her outfit for the scenes with Eric and he could see she was right. He looked back at her. "But you look good in your Belle Meade uniforms," he said, smiling at her. "You, my dear, look good in anything you wear."

She laughed. "You just like the fact that you'll be able to see my bra through that blouse."

He raised an eyebrow. "That is true." He screwed up his face. "But then again, I get to see you without a bra at all."

She blushed and waved her hand at him, sitting down at the table. "You're gonna get me all hot and bothered now," she said.

He leaned forward and leered at her a little. "I sure do hope so, baby," he said.

She took the top off her salad and then narrowed her eyes at him. "Stop," she admonished. She picked up her phone then and started to look at her email, while he started eating his tacos. "Oh!" she said, and he looked up.

"What?" he asked.

She looked at him, a look of complete surprise on her face. "We've been invited to the White House Correspondent's Dinner."

"We who?"

"Hayden, me, you." She looked thrilled. "There are a lot of actors from other shows too, but wow, can you imagine?"

"When is it?"

"Not next weekend but the weekend after. Right before we finish filming." She held the phone to her chest and looked at him. "Can you go?"

 _It was a weekend. But they would all be moving to Nashville once school was out. Why not?_ He shrugged. "Don't see why not," he said.

She rolled her lips and took a deep breath. "Can you come by yourself?" she asked quietly.

This would probably be something his wife would get excited about. "I don't know," he said honestly. "It might depend on what's going on at home."

She nodded. "I understand. It just might be…well, you know, it could be, oh, I don't know." She sighed, then put her phone down and picked up her fork. He watched as she pushed her food around on her plate. He knew she meant it might be the last time they got to spend real time together.

He reached across the table and put his hand on hers. She looked up at him. "If I can, I will." She nodded and he let go of her hand. She kept moving her fork around, not eating, looking down at the table. "Connie," he said, and she looked up. "This is usually a busy time for the kids, so there's probably a lot going on. Okay?" She nodded. He smiled encouragingly. "Think positive."

* * *

As he drove home, he thought about the invitation. He saw it on his own phone, when he got back to his trailer, and he found himself mentally crossing his fingers. He knew he could sell it as a promotional event for the show. What he didn't know was how motivated Patty might be to be there, in spite of anything else going on at home.

Before he'd left, he'd gently pushed Connie against the wall of her trailer and kissed her hungrily, running his hands up under her blouse. He had quickly unfastened her bra and caressed her breasts as he continued to kiss her. He ran his tongue over his lower lip, remembering the taste of her, the feel of her skin in his hands. He took a deep breath. There was no doubt about it, she excited him in a way no other woman ever had. But he also loved her, in a way he'd never loved anyone else.

He really hoped she got done early.

* * *

It was after 8:00 when he headed to her house. Too late for the river, but he'd get there a little ahead of that night's episode. When he got there she had put Yoby to bed and had changed into yoga pants and a clingy top, her hair piled on top of her head and her glasses on. He'd had to turn around and go back for his guitar, which made him a little later than he'd planned. She had a glass of wine in her hand when she greeted him at the door.

"Hey," she said, a big smile on her face. He walked in and kissed her, tugging on her lip just a little so that she leaned into him and made a noise in the back of her throat. She pressed her hand against his back. "Mm," she murmured. "Someone's glad to see me." She laughed her sexy, husky laugh.

He ran his hand over her ass and realized she wasn't wearing underwear. He slid his hand inside the waistband, and palmed her bare skin. "Someone's _ready_ to see me," he said, with a chuckle.

"Well, I see you brought your guitar," she said, looking down at the case he carried in his other hand. "So I'll be looking for a little serenading after the episode is over." She wriggled out of his embrace and then made a face. "Especially since I have to watch you cozy up to the vet." She did a little shimmy as she walked away, looking back at him over her shoulder.

He followed, laughing at her. "I thought you said it was Deacon pretending he wasn't holding a torch for Rayna," he called after her, as she rounded the corner to the kitchen. He set his guitar case down in the den and then followed her and leaned against the kitchen island.

She got another glass from the cabinet and opened the fridge. "It is," she said, as she reached in for the bottle of wine. She closed the fridge door and turned back towards him, pouring him a glass of wine, which she slid over to him, and then topping off her own. "But it doesn't mean I have to enjoy watching you kissing someone else."

She sashayed past him and reached for his hand, leading him into the den. He snagged his glass just before she pulled him away from the island and followed her to the couch. When he set his glass down on the coffee table, he noticed a bowl of guacamole and chips. He pointed towards it. "You make this?" he asked.

She sat back against the corner of the couch and drew her legs up under her, sipping her wine. She smiled. "I did." He raised his eyebrows and she laughed. "Don't look so surprised. I make a really mean guacamole, I'll have you know." She nodded towards the bowl. "Try it."

He reached for a chip and dipped it into the guacamole and put it in his mouth. He nodded as he chewed, then said, "That is probably the best guac I've ever had."

She smiled. "Told you it was good." She leaned over and got some for herself. "I just thought it would be something light to have tonight."

He got more. "It really is good."

"So any news on the correspondent's dinner?" she asked, as he chewed.

When he swallowed, he nodded. "Well, I've got good news and bad news on that front," he said.

"Okay." She looked apprehensive.

He took a deep breath. "So the good news is that both Taylor and Chase have regional things that weekend, so not a good weekend for no parents to be around. And I got some strong pressure initially to not go myself. But, I used the 'this is good for the show' card and that seemed to work."

She frowned. "So what's the bad news?"

He took a swallow of his wine. "She suggested I bring my mom. To my mom." She closed her eyes. "It doesn't have to be a big deal, Connie. She goes with me, I send her home after, it's all good." It really hadn't been quite that simple, but she didn't have to know that. Normally he would have stayed with his mom, but he had begged off, which had raised a bit of a red flag. He had claimed that all the network folks who were attending were staying at the same hotel, which he didn't actually know to be true, and that he needed to be there as well. He could tell Patty hadn't been thrilled, but she had let it go, not willing to let it become a conflict.

"Won't she want you to stay with her? I mean, wouldn't you normally if you were going to be in the DC area?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, probably. But I begged off. Simple." Again, not really so simple, but she didn't need to know that. He smiled then. "You think the hotel has adjoining rooms?"

She pretended to be shocked. "So we could what, sneak around?" He chuckled and then she reached out and swatted him on the knee. "Aren't you excited though?" she asked, looking pumped up. "I have wanted to meet President Obama and _never_ thought it would happen and now it is. And Michelle? Wow, I mean, I admire her _so_ much."

He smiled. One of the many things he loved about Connie Britton was her passion for causes near and dear to her heart. He had not known that about her before he met her, but now that he knew her he knew about the things that mattered to her. Women's issues and adoption and environmental concerns. She was always on the side of the less fortunate, always passionate about their plight. It often made him feel shallow, because he didn't feel like he measured up. His main focus had been on his family and, because of his youngest daughter's leukemia as a toddler, that had been his issue. Sometimes it felt to him like he wasn't good enough in that regard, although she had never given him any reason to think she felt that way.

She knew that some people begrudged her her political views, thought she shouldn't share those because she was merely an actor, as though that meant she wasn't smart enough to know anything. But he knew she was wicked smart and not just passionate, but educated, on the things that mattered to her. It made him proud of her, even though he'd done nothing to make that happen.

"Looks like you'll finally get to meet them both then," he said.

"Aren't you excited? I mean, this just means so much to me. I guess it makes me so proud that our country would elect him president and that when Yoby gets older he'll know that he can do anything he wants, that the color of his skin won't hold him back. And they're just both so smart and committed and driven. The kind of people we need."

He was not particularly political and he found himself wondering if that would matter to her. "You know, I don't really stay on top of all that like I probably should," he said, somewhat sheepishly.

She looked at him for a moment, then smiled. "You support the things that are important to you, Chip. That's all that really matters." She looked over towards the TV. "It's almost time for the show. Come here." She waved him over, moving her legs so that he could slide up next to her. She reached for the remote, turning the TV on, and then leaned back, draping one leg over his and putting her arm around his shoulders. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "You're a very caring human being," she whispered in his ear. "You stand up for people, especially kids and people who suffer. Don't sell yourself short."

He smiled back at her, then put his hand on her leg and leaned into her, settling in to watch the show. As always, when they watched together, they commented liberally on storylines – theirs and others – and critiqued their scenes. She covered her eyes when Deacon kissed Stacey and they hissed at Juliette together for her insensitivity about Lamar.

"Deacon just loves her so much," she said quietly, during the scene where he called and left Rayna a message, and again when Juliette told him Rayna wasn't family. "He's just always there, whether he wants to be or not."

He looked back at her with a smile. "Oh, I think he always wants to be."

When it came to the hospital scene, she was quiet until the commercial. She hugged him then. "You were right, to take that word out," she said. "That was such a powerful scene and all without a single word. You knew why he was there and what it meant to her for him to be there. It was perfect."

He smiled briefly, then looked intently at her. "I learned from the best."

* * *

The revised finale script came the Wednesday before he was to go to LA for the weekend. They read it together, in front of the table read the next day. When she was done, she put the script down in her lap and leaned back on the couch, closing her eyes. He was a little behind her on reading, but when he finished, he tossed the script on the coffee table and breathed out, leaning forward on his elbows, rubbing his face with his hands.

"This is crap," she said, her voice low and deliberate, sounding almost like she was speaking through a tunnel. He turned and looked back at her. She opened her eyes, but didn't look at him. "They're making it into a fucking soap opera." She sat up. "It feels like we're losing the essence of what the show was supposed to be. And Rayna's on the wrong side of this."

He thought about what she said. "I'm not really surprised they let Deacon go there though. Are you?"

She looked at him then and finally shook her head. "Considering everything? No. Although I hate it. But I'm betting that was the plan all along. I just sort of hate Rayna went there. That she never considered the damage she could cause, thinking she could, what, protect that relationship? Was she just going to keep lying to Deacon?" She raised her hands up in the air and shook her head, a look of disbelief on her face. Then she looked back at him. "You know, I wish that title of producer actually meant something. I wish I actually had a voice. I wish there was someone who would actually listen."

He was surprised then to see tears in her eyes and a slight tremble to her lips. He took her hand. "I do too, baby," he said. He cleared his throat then. "I guess what I can't help wondering is, how do they come back from this?" He felt a knot in his chest, which surprised him. It was the fear that Deacon and Rayna were done, which could mean fewer scenes together, but it also made him realize how invested he'd been in this story, how invested both he and Connie were in telling it. "That's what I'm thinking."

She jabbed her hand in the air. "Exactly!" she cried, and he could hear the emotion in her voice. "I just don't know who's running the show here." She got up from the couch and started to pace, her hands on her hips. "I guess we'll see what they come back with, but this is gonna be brutal."

He looked up at her. "What do you want to do?"

She turned back to face him and sighed. "I want to see if Jessie can watch Yoby for a bit and then I think maybe we go to our place. I just need a little fresh air, I think."

He got up and walked over to her, putting his arms around her. After a moment, she did the same, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I think that's a great idea," he said, as he pulled her close.

* * *

They were walking down the trail, hand in hand. She hadn't said much in the car on the way over and he wondered what exactly she was thinking. When they got to the river bank, they sat, both of them with their knees pulled up to their chests. She took a deep breath and then she turned to him. "I think I'm sort of just dreading this ending coming up," she said.

"The last episode?"

She shrugged. "That, but all of it. There's what, three weeks left? Two and a half? You go home this weekend. We have a ton to shoot over the next ten days or so. I didn't count the scenes, but it feels like we're in three-quarters of what's in the script. It's a lot and it's heavy and tense and there are so many emotions. And then we wrap and…what?" She leaned her chin on one knee. "Two months apart. A lot can happen in two months." She looked at him. "This is how it will be and we won't even have much of this to get us through the season."

Now he understood. It wasn't just the finale, it was the uncertainty of what happened after. Or at least _her_ uncertainty. "We have DC," he said.

"Yeah, but that's before everything changes." She sighed. "What are we going to do?"

He reached out and put his arm around her, pulling her close. "We're gonna spend as much time together as we can, now and going forward. It might not be like we want, but we aren't gonna lose each other, I promise you."

She slid her arms around his waist. "How can you know that, Chip? What if…she figures it all out? What will we do then?"

It wasn't like he hadn't thought about it, hadn't considered it. The truth was, he didn't know for sure. He suspected she'd do nothing, although he wasn't sure why he thought that. It had felt like, for so long, they'd been living parallel lives. They had lived in the same house, slept in the same bed, done all the things parents did with their kids, but there hadn't been any true closeness, really, since Addie had been cancer-free. The two and a half years they'd spent taking their daughter for chemo and treatments, living with the stress of a sick child and then demands of two healthy ones, had not broken them, but had numbed them. They had lost what had brought them together in the beginning and had decided, without ever talking about it, that living platonically was good enough.

But then he'd come to Nashville and he'd met Connie Britton. Fallen in love with her and her with him. His wife had gotten a peek at it, through the video, and had done nothing. When she had found him to be inaccessible, she'd done nothing. When he told her he was going to DC with Connie and Hayden, she'd let him. He supposed that was the distance, though, and he had no idea what would happen come July, when Connie was back and his wife was in Nashville.

He turned and pressed his lips against Connie's forehead. "I can't say for sure. But we'll figure out what we can do." He sighed. "I promise, baby."


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: I know that some say Patty went to the White House Correspondent's Dinner with Chip and some say it was his mom. There are pictures of Chip with his mom at the event so I'm choosing to tell the story as it was his mom who went with him. Since she lives in Alexandria, it makes it easier to create story around Chip and Connie being there on their own._

As he walked to his trailer, he lifted his phone to his ear. "Hey," he said when she answered. "What time are you on set?" He had gotten back from LA late the previous evening and he was anxious to see her.

"In about twenty minutes. I'm heading over now, actually." He stopped and looked over towards her trailer, seeing her open the door. She saw him and lifted her hand. "Do you have a second?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, and disconnected, changing course to head over and meet her at the bottom of the steps to her trailer. He smiled at her. "Hey," he said.

She smiled back, lifting her hair off her shoulder. "Hey." She ran the back of her hand down his arm. "So I got offered a movie," she said.

He looked surprised. "Really?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Kind of last minute. I don't know, maybe the person they wanted originally couldn't do it, or something. Anyway, it's not a big part, but they sent me my lines last night and I think it could really be amazing. Great cast." She smiled. "Tina Fey, Jason Bateman, Adam Driver… _Jane Fonda_." She laughed. "Jane fucking Fonda!" She looked almost giddy. "I feel like I hit the movie lottery, you know?"

He nodded, smiling. "That's fantastic, Connie. When? Where?"

"The area around New York City. A lot of it will be on Long Island." She ran her tongue over her bottom lip. "We're shooting in May and June, so I'll be leaving around the same time as you."

He breathed in and looked over her shoulder. "So no overlap in LA then?" He looked back at her. She shook her head, sadness filling her eyes. He breathed out. "I guess we'll survive."

"I'm sorry. But it was hard to say no."

He frowned and shook his head. "Don't be sorry. This is great for you." He forced a smile on his face. "I'll call you. Text you."

She nodded. "Okay, so I need to get to set. What do you have today?"

"Uh, Deacon tries to beat up Teddy and Maddie comes to his house. So I'll be off set most of the day. I'm here to pick up my clothes."

She grinned. "I'm sure you and Eric will have fun with the fight."

He laughed. "He's already gloating that he wins."

She looked up at him. "I'll see you tonight?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

She stepped back. "I need to go then." She bit down on her lip, then turned to walk towards the set. He stood and watched, in his head counting the days they had left.

* * *

He ended up meeting her and Yoby at the river. It was still light out and it was a warm day. She was standing barefoot in the water, holding Yoby's hands as he lifted his feet up and down in the water. He was laughing and so was she. She looked over her shoulder when she heard him on the gravel path. He smiled as he approached.

"Yoby, Chip's here," she said, turning her son around.

"Chip! Chip!" he shouted, pulling his hands from Connie's and running over to him. He picked up the little boy.

"Hey there, buddy," he said, with a grin.

She put her hand on his shoulder. "I do think he likes you," she said.

"Well, the feeling is completely mutual," he said. He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. "I like you too."

She laughed. "The feeling is mutual there as well," she said. She slipped her arm around his waist and he put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in close. She laid her hand on his chest, turning slightly towards him, her face serious. "I'm gonna miss this place."

"We can still come here," he said. "It'll just be our place." She smiled up at him but he still caught a hint of sadness in her eyes.

She sighed. "I wish I had Omar Krepps's watch," she said.

He was confused. "Who's watch?" he asked.

She looked at him. "Omar Krepps. 'The Girl, the Gold Watch, and Everything'. You never read that?" He shook his head. "He had this watch that could manipulate time. Actually slow it down, shut it down, so that, well, so that you could hang on to something. That's what I wish I could do. Slow down time, make an hour last a day. Time's just moving too fast."

He knew what she meant. He kissed the top of her head. "I wish we had that watch too," he said quietly.

They stood there together a little longer, as the sun was setting, and then finally they headed back to their cars and he followed her back to her house.

* * *

He was sitting back against the headboard of her bed, reading through the movie script for 'This Is Where I Leave You', when she walked back into the bedroom. He looked up. "He okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "Just a little overly excited tonight," she said, with a tiny smile. "He's asleep now. Finally." She walked around to the other side of the bed and pulled off the nightshirt she'd put on to go check on Yoby. He laid the script down on the bed and admired her impossibly long, slender legs and her beautiful breasts, her hair cascading over her shoulders. She looked like a goddess. She smiled and knelt down on one knee on the bed, propping herself with her hands as she leaned over and kissed him. She slid under the sheet and pulled it up to her waist, settling herself against the headboard, her shoulder touching his. She patted the script. "It's good, huh?"

"It is. You'll be fantastic." He moved it to the bedside table next to him.

She made a face. "I think it'll be fun. Tracy, my character, is this super smart woman who's a therapist, but she clearly makes bad romantic choices. Sleeping with a client. Scandalous!" She widened her eyes in exaggerated shock, waving her hands in the air, and then laughed. "It'll be a fun change of pace."

He really didn't want to talk about her script or about their scenes or anything else. He leaned over and kissed her, cupping her breast in his hand and rubbing his thumb over her nipple. She made a little noise in the back of her throat, her tongue attacking his as she turned slightly towards him. He could feel her hand through the sheet over his thigh. They didn't have much time left. In a little over a week, the season would be wrapped and he'd be headed to LA and now she would be headed to NYC. He felt an ache, an emptiness in his heart. He wanted time to stand still or at least slow down. Like that watch she'd mentioned.

He moved over on top of her and then slid down so that his lips trailed along her jawline, then her neck and collarbone, to her chest and then to her breast. He let his tongue swirl around her nipple, feeling it tighten, listening to her whispered moans. Then he moved to her abdomen and when he finally reached that warm place between her legs, her moans grew louder. He touched the top of his tongue to her and she groaned his name. He put his hands on her hips and she lifted her feet to his shoulders and he let his tongue flick over her and inside her as she started to writhe around him. He loved the taste of her, the heat of her. She pressed herself against his mouth, moaning "oh God" over and over.

When he could feel her right at the edge of the cliff, he pulled back. He slid his hands under her ass and moved up, her legs falling to the side as he entered her swiftly. She gasped and her eyes flew open, capturing his as he forcefully moved inside her. He would miss this, that feeling of being totally enveloped in her, being one with her. It had been so long since he'd had this level of intimacy with a woman, until her, and then he'd found it far exceeded anything he'd ever experienced. He was still in awe of it.

She was breathing hard, her eyes dark with desire. Her hands clenched his arms. "Oh my God, Chip," she panted. "I love you so much." Tears pricked his eyes as he thought again that he was the lucky guy loving Connie Britton and being loved by her.

He brought his lips down to hers. "I love you too, baby," he whispered and then he kissed her hard as he felt her start to pulse around him. As she wrapped her legs around his back, he thrust hard into her one last time and let go, shouting out her name, then collapsing in her arms.

* * *

She found him sitting in Deacon's house. He looked up as she approached and she looked around, her eyes wide. "Wow, this place is a mess!" she said. She squinted at him. " _You're_ kind of a mess."

He shook his head, with a half-smile. "Deacon gets a little out of control today."

She breathed out, then sat down next to him. "God, I hate this. I mean, I don't know how else it would have played out, but I hate it."

He shrugged. "We just have to play what we're given. Do the best we can with it. Isn't that what you always say?" She nodded, but she didn't look happy about it. "So, I actually just have one scene early on Friday, so I'm heading up to DC then. Stay one night with my mom, so it's not like I'm just a bad son, you know?"

She gave him a tiny smile. "Makes sense. I'm flying up Friday too, but it'll be late. Will I see you Saturday or will you go straight to the dinner?"

"I want to see you before, but I'm not even sure how to work that out." He smiled apologetically. "My mom's actually looking forward to meeting you."

She looked surprised. "She is?"

He nodded. "Apparently Patty told her all about you," he said, knowing he sounded as annoyed as he felt.

She looked down at her lap, fidgeting with her hands. "We need to be careful then." She pressed her hands against her legs. "I need to go." She looked at him with a half-smile. "Funeral scenes today."

He reached for her hand and squeezed it. She tried to pull away, but he held tight. "It's all gonna be okay. Don't worry." He let her hand go and she stood up. He got up as well. "I'll see you later." She nodded and then walked off of the set.

He sat back down and put his head in his hands. He thought back to the phone conversation he'd had with his mom, when he'd called to share all the arrangements.

" _Chip, I get why you are staying at the hotel on Saturday night, but I'm going to insist you stay with me on Friday. Otherwise, we'll hardly have time for a visit."_

 _He bit down on his lip. "I, uh…."_

" _Seriously, Chip, we can ride over together. No sense in you coming to get me and then us going all the way back." She paused. "I'm looking forward to meeting your coworkers though. Is that what you call them?"_

" _Yeah, sure. Cast mates, coworkers. Same deal."_

" _I'm especially looking forward to meeting Connie Britton. I've heard quite a lot about her."_

 _He felt a sense of anxiety when she said that. "Really?"_

" _I think her politics are kind of in line with mine. And I admire the causes she supports." There was another pause. "Plus Patty said to be sure to check her out." He was silent. "She says the two of you are quite close."_

He closed his eyes. Not only had he felt more like a twelve year old kid than a forty five year old man, but he also couldn't help but wonder what kind of conversation his mom and Patty had really had.

* * *

After the dinner, they all walked out together to the lobby, where Chip saw his mother off in a cab. Hayden begged off and took another cab back to their hotel. He looked at Connie then. "Where to?" he asked.

"I think there's one of those speakeasy type bars right around the corner from our hotel," she said, with a sly smile. "What about that?"

"You sure?" He raised his eyebrows.

She widened her smile and touched his arm. "Well, we're all dressed up." He'd had a hard time keeping his eyes off her all night. In the blue dress that played up her eyes perfectly, she was stunning.

He smiled. "Whatever the lady wants then," he said. She tucked her hand through his arm and they walked out to get a cab.

* * *

They slid into a booth near the back of the bar. He leaned towards her and she put a finger on his cheek and pushed him back, laughing. "We may not be the most famous people here," she said, "but we don't want attention."

He slid his arm around her waist. "I can do this though, right?" he asked.

She smiled demurely. "Yes, you can." She leaned in a little closer. "And a lot more back in my room later." He smiled and she beamed. She put her hand on his thigh and he covered it with his own.

Just then a server came to take their drink order and they pulled away from each other. After he'd ordered whiskeys for both of them, he let his eyes graze over her. "You were the most gorgeous woman there tonight," he said, smiling appreciatively. Her dress had accentuated her curves perfectly and the sparkle in her eyes had forced him to keep his cool.

She blushed. "I don't know about that, but thank you. I know I was pretty lucky to be sitting with such a handsome guy as you." The server came back with their drinks and when he walked away, she held hers up. "To being together and all dressed up." She touched his glass and he started to lift it to his mouth. "And to a very long night of…fun," she finished, with a laugh.

He laughed as well, touching his glass to hers. "To being together," he said. He ran his thumb along her back, looking forward to the night ahead.

She smiled. "I had a really lovely conversation with your mom," she said.

He had made sure his mom sat next to Connie. "Really?"

She nodded. "Really. She was very interested in the fact that I adopted Yoby from Africa and we talked about some of the other things I'm involved in." She patted his hand. "It was all very pleasant. And I made sure to tell her that I really admired your love and devotion to your family." She smiled. "Which I do." He took a deep breath. "Don't worry, Chip. I do know how to behave." She winked.

He smiled then. "And how to misbehave," he countered and she laughed.

* * *

They had a little more to drink than they meant to and ended up making out in the backseat of the cab that took them back to their hotel. When they arrived, he grabbed her hand as they headed in and across the lobby. In the elevator, he pushed her back against the wall and kissed her and she ran her hands up under his suit jacket and over his back. When they got to her floor, she led the way down to her room and, as she was searching in her clutch for the room key, he slid his hands around her waist and then up to cup her breasts. She laughed softly and then slid the key in the lock.

She pulled him into her room and, as the door closed, he gathered her in his arms and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and threaded her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. She arched her back as she leaned into him and his fingers started to tug at the zipper on the back of her dress. She pulled away and put a hand on his chest, as he looked confused. "Dance with me," she said, with a shy smile. He raised an eyebrow. "Please. We're all dressed up."

He shrugged and smiled. "Okay."

She grinned, then reached into her clutch bag and pulled out her phone. "I even have a playlist for dancing," she said, waving her phone.

He gave her a questioning look. "Okay. Um, what kind of dancing we talking about?"

She gave him a teasing smile, then started looking for something on her phone. Finally she triumphantly stabbed the screen with her finger and put the phone on the coffee table. He heard the opening piano melody from 'Unforgettable' and smiled.

She walked into his arms and he took one hand in his and put his other arm around her waist. She placed her other hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes. He started to sing along. _Unforgettable, that's what you are. Unforgettable, near or far._ She joined in, singing so softly he almost couldn't hear her. He kept his eyes on hers as they gently swayed together. As the song ended, he leaned in to kiss her.

They danced through 'At Last' and 'Wonderful Tonight' and then 'To Make You Feel My Love'. When that song ended, he leaned over and stopped the play on the phone, then straightened up and looked at her, breathing in deeply. She raised her hands to his face and pulled him in for a kiss. This time, when he reached up for the zipper, she didn't stop him. When he'd fully unzipped it, he slid the dress over her arms and down until she could step out of it. He draped it over a chair, then turned back and unfastened her bra, letting it fall to the floor. He caught his breath and, cupping her breasts, leaned forward and took first one, then the other, into his mouth, caressing her nipples with his tongue. He let his hands slide down to her hips and he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of her panties, pushing them far enough so that they slid down her legs.

It was her turn to undress him, so he stood while she untied his tie, sliding it around his neck, then unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it up from his pants. She pushed off the shirt and his jacket and they drifted to the floor. After she unbuckled his belt, she started on the zipper. She looked up at him, a teasing smile on her lips. "Guess the dancing was kind of hot, huh?" she asked. After she got the zipper done, she reached in and stroked his erection. He closed his eyes and groaned, biting down on his bottom lip.

When she kept stroking him, he finally had to grab her wrists. "If you don't stop that, we won't make it," he said, his voice tight from feeling like he couldn't breathe. She laughed softly and, after one more languid stroke, she pushed at his pants, and then he took over, pulling them off before grabbing her arms and kissing her, while he pushed her back towards the bed.

As they fell onto the bed together, she whispered in his ear to make love to her all night long and he very nearly did.

* * *

The last few days of filming were some of the most intense, emotional scenes. The scenes filmed at Bridgestone for the CMA's and Rayna chasing Deacon out of the Bluebird, as well as the events leading up to the accident. The angst that bubbled up into their performances was heightened by the reality that they would soon be leaving each other. He mostly abandoned his apartment, staying every night with her, no matter how late they were on set.

The night before the last day of filming, they sat on the back deck. It was late, but it was a clear night, the stars twinkling in the sky above them. She was working on her second glass of wine and he was on his third beer. She had her legs pulled up under her, leaning back against his shoulder and he had his arm around her. She had been very quiet all day. They had not talked much between takes, but he was easily able to read her eyes, just like he knew she could read his. The next night would be the wrap party and then he was heading out to LA the day after. She was staying in Nashville until she went to New York. They both wanted to squeeze as much out of the last few days as they could.

He felt her hand on his leg and heard her sigh. He let his fingers get tangled in her hair and he leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "I'm gonna miss you," she said softly. He sensed she needed to talk, so he kept quiet. "I never thought, when I took this role and came to this place, that I would find anything more than a challenging part and the excitement of a new city. I felt a connection to you right away, a lot like I did with Kyle when we did 'Friday Night Lights'. But then I realized it was more than that. Kyle and I were friends. You and I were like soulmates. Except that, in the beginning, I thought that was crazy." She took a long swallow of her wine and rubbed her hand up and down his leg. "I don't know what I was really thinking, the night I invited you over. I felt like you were feeling the same things I was, but I didn't want to be wrong about that. And then there was that kiss. I knew then that I had gone past the point of no return, that we both had."

"I felt it too," he said.

"I never expected to fall in love. I never thought this would be what I'd been looking for all these years. I'd sort of given up on that, figured I'd never really find someone I could see myself creating a life with, building a home with, finding that person who completed me, in that very cliché kind of way." He smiled. "I know this is going to be hard, be a challenge, and I'm warning you now there will probably be times when I'll say I want to quit this, that I can't do it, because it's too tough, too complicated, that I'm giving up too much." She turned to look up at him. "Don't listen to me. It'll be me trying to build a wall around myself, trying to protect myself." She leaned back against him. "I love you with my whole heart. I can't imagine not being with you, around you, even if it's not as much as I'd like. Because for you to _not_ be in my life would be like I'd lost my way. You're it for me, Chip. I'm so all in it scares me. But I still am."

He swallowed over the lump in his throat. His heart felt like it was going to explode. "I love you too, Connie," he whispered, afraid if he spoke any louder, his voice would give way. "I pretty much thought I'd never have something like this, that I was forever going to have less than this. And I know I'm the one who's making this hard and challenging, but I'm grateful you're doing this with me. I'm all in too."

She leaned forward, placing her glass on the table in front of them. She turned and took the beer bottle in his hand and set it down next to the glass. Then she stood up and took his hand. He stood up as well and let her lead him back in the house, where he held her all night, letting her know how much he loved her, just as she showed him the same.

* * *

Despite the fact that the last day of filming also meant the end of their relative freedom, they had both agreed to keep things light. While there would be goodbyes all around, it was still a happy time. They'd been renewed for a full season order and they'd be back in a little over two months to begin again. He whispered in her ear that at least she was wearing that revealing bustier that made him smile. She blushed and told him how hot he was all dressed in black. They were filming at Bridgestone and then they'd be headed across the river to LP Field for the wrap party and they kept it celebratory.

He arrived at the party first, making his rounds. He thought about how this was the first time he'd had an acting job that actually gave him a sense of security. While he knew it was never a given you'd come back for the next season or even the next episode, depending on the whims of the writers, it felt good to feel like he had a place, somewhere to belong. The fact that he was also getting to do the other thing he loved most – making music – had been the icing on the cake. He'd come to town with a few songs in his pocket and he'd used some prior friendships with songwriters to get that entrée into the music scene in Nashville. He was excited about that future, but he was also apprehensive about what the rest of his future would look like.

He had started to wonder if Connie had made a last second decision not to come to the wrap party, when there was a buzz that signaled some kind of excitement. He took a few steps in that direction and then it was like a spotlight shone down on her as she walked across the field. She had changed from the sexy bustier and skin tight leather pants into a pretty sundress and sandals, her hair brushed out and floating around her shoulders. _God, she's gorgeous._ She was smiling and hugging people as she walked towards the tented area.

He just stood and watched her, a smile playing across his face. She finally turned and looked towards him, her smile broadening for a second, and then she turned to someone else. He waited a few more minutes, then headed in her direction. That's when she turned towards him and smiled. He walked up to her and they embraced, just the way they'd talked about. "I sure am sorry you didn't wear that bustier," he whispered in her ear and she looked up at him and laughed.

"Chip! Connie!" One of the photographers called out to them and they turned, their arms around each other's waists, her head tilted just slightly towards him, and they smiled for the camera. When the photographer moved on, she turned towards him and the smile faded.

"I'm not sure I can pretend to be happy tonight," she said, looking a little glum.

He frowned. "Yeah, you can."

"Are you happy right now?"

He breathed in. "About finishing the season, getting renewed, knowing we'll be back in just a couple months?" He nodded. "Yeah, I'm happy about that." She looked away. "Hey," he said, his voice low, and she turned back to him. "You can be happy, we both can be happy. There's still a lot to be happy about."

She stared at him for a moment, then a tiny smile appeared on her face. "You're just always the life of the party, Chip," she said. She smiled a little more. "You're just a big goofball."

He grinned. "If that's what it takes to put a smile on your face? I'll do that all night long." He gestured towards the rest of the crowd. "Look, all of these people are our friends. Let's have some fun here and we'll have some more fun later."

She laughed a little. "There _is_ later to look forward to."

He put his arm around her and led her towards the rest of the crowd. "Let's get a drink and celebrate the end of season one," he said. A camera went off again and he was glad to see that she smiled happily and waved.

* * *

She begged off early, saying she needed to get home to Yoby. He stayed another forty-five minutes and then headed out himself, driving down 65 towards her house.

* * *

She trailed him down the stairs the next morning and into the foyer. He turned back to look at her. He had a lump in his throat the size of a fist. Her eyes were glistening with tears. He swallowed hard and tried to breathe in. He reached for her, pulling her into his embrace. She leaned her cheek against his chest, her arms sliding around his waist, holding him tight. "I'm gonna miss you," she whispered, and he felt the tears spring up in his own eyes.

He tightened his embrace. "It's just a couple months, baby. Then we'll be back."

She lifted her head and looked up at him. Then her face screwed up and the tears rolled down her cheeks. "It feels like forever, Chip," she said, her voice shaky. "I won't be able to see you or be with you."

He bit down on his lip. "We can talk. I promise, I'll call. We'll text. You'll be busy, I'll be busy, and before we know it, it'll be July and we'll be back on the set and back together." It wouldn't be exactly the same, of course, and they both knew it. There would be stolen moments, time spent hiding out in trailers, maybe getting to meet down by the river. There wouldn't be any more nights like these, wrapped up in each other's arms, evenings spent together just enjoying being together. It would test them. Test their love and commitment to each other.

He leaned in and kissed her then. "You're gonna be amazing in your movie," he said, with an encouraging smile.

She smiled sheepishly. "It's just a small part," she said.

He shook his head. "But you're Connie fucking Britton and you'll blow them all away with your talent and presence," he said, and was rewarded with one of her throaty laughs.

She swatted at his chest. "I don't know about _that_ , but thank you," she said. She reached up and put a hand on his face. "And you'll write some amazing songs." She traced her finger over his lips. "Write some for Rayna, okay?" she added softly.

He smiled and then kissed her again. "They'll all be about you, baby," he said.

She put both hands on his face then and kissed him back. "You need to go," she whispered, "so you don't miss your flight. And I need to start packing for New York."

He nodded. "I'll call you or text you every day."

She smiled, but he could see the tears in her eyes again. "You better."

He kissed her again then, with all the love and yearning he felt for her, with all the anguish over leaving her, and his need for her. She responded the same way and when they finally broke apart, they were both in tears. He swiped at her face with the heel of his hand, trying to smile. "I love you, Connie," he said. "More than I've ever loved anyone else in my life."

She nodded and then said, "I love you too, Chip. You're my heart, my love."

He kissed her again and then, very reluctantly, pulled away from her arms. He headed slowly across the porch and down the steps. When he turned back, she was standing at the top of the steps, one arm across her waist and the other covering her mouth. He took a deep, shuddering breath, and lifted his hand, blowing her a kiss. She did the same. Then he turned away and headed for his car.

As he pulled out of the drive, he didn't want to look back at her, because he was afraid he'd turn around and go back. But he stole a glance in the rearview mirror as he was heading for the main road and saw that she was still standing at the top of the steps, and it broke his heart.


	19. Chapter 19

He checked in for his flight, dropping off two suitcases. The rest of his things were still at the apartment. They'd be packed up for him and, when they returned in June, they'd be delivered to the rental house in Brentwood. He felt empty, like he was sleepwalking almost. He slid his boarding pass into his pocket and headed for the security line.

As he walked down the hallway to his gate, he had the sudden desire to cry. His chest hurt and his heart hurt. He tried breathing in, but he felt like he was suffocating. He wasn't sure what to do. For a moment he felt like he was going to pass out. He stopped and concentrated on breathing. People walked around him, some looking at him like they might have recognized him, some looking annoyed that he was creating an obstacle. He finally was able to take a deep breath and he started walking again.

When he got to his gate, he slid down into a seat. The flight would be boarding soon. He felt his phone vibrate and he pulled it out of his pocket. _Connie._ He almost didn't answer, but he wanted to hear her voice. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "Hey."

There was silence on the other end, but he could hear her breathing. "Hey," she said finally, her voice shaking. "I'm sorry. I just needed to…you know." Then he could hear her crying and he felt that lump in his throat and the tears filling up his own eyes.

"It's okay," he whispered.

"I…I just wanted to let you know…." She made a choking noise. "I love you, Chip."

He choked on a sob. "I love you too," he finally said.

She cleared her throat. "It's gonna be okay," she said, her voice sounding stronger. " _We're_ gonna be okay. We are." He couldn't help but smile. "I'll be waiting for you, you know that."

He nodded. "I do." He breathed in deeply. "We'll be okay."

"I'm gonna let you go, but I just wanted to tell you to have a safe flight and a safe drive back." She paused. "I also wanted you to know I put a pair of panties in your toiletry bag."

He laughed out loud. The people closest to him turned to look and he got up and walked over towards the window, putting his hand behind his neck. "Are you serious?" he asked, still laughing.

"Well, clean ones," she said, and he could hear the smile in her voice. "I would never put used ones in there."

He chuckled. "I wouldn't have minded," he said. "I'll be sure to keep them hidden."

"I'm going to want them back, you know," she said softly.

He nodded. "First day back on set," he said. "If not sooner." They started the boarding announcement. He looked up, then said, "I gotta go, baby."

She sighed. "I know. I'll miss you. I already do."

"Me too," he said. "Oh, and break a leg."

She laughed softly. "I'll do my best." She paused again and he could picture her in his mind, standing with her legs crossed, one arm around her waist, her hair in a ponytail and her glasses on. That was his Connie. "Be safe, my love."

He felt that lump in his throat again. "You too." When he disconnected, he took a deep breath and wiped his face, then stood up and walked over to the boarding line.

* * *

It was a bright sunny hot day in Nashville. He was sitting on the back deck of the house they were renting, with his guitar and a notebook. Patty and the kids were at the community pool. He'd begged off, wanting some solitude. It was something he'd gotten more used to during the year he'd been in town by himself. The rental house was nice, in a nice neighborhood with good schools. The kids loved the pool and were getting used to the area. It was funny, though, how he felt lonely even in the midst of all the family activity. It was almost like he was standing outside a glass wall watching everything unfold in front of him.

He was working on the music for a song he'd written with a new cowriter. They had another appointment the next day and he wanted to come with something. He looked at his notebook and sang softly as he worked through a melody he'd come up with.

 _Will one more drink / Lead to one more drink / I need my head to think this through / 'Cause my heart won't tell me what to do / Should I call? / Baby, if I call / Would you let that phone just beep? / Or would you pick it up, and rescue me?_

He kept going back over it, changing something here or there, jotting down chords over the words as he went. Just then his phone buzzed with a text. He reached over to the table and picked it up. _Can you talk?_ He smiled when he saw it was Connie. He pressed 'Call Back' and waited.

"Hey!" she said when she answered, sounding a little breathless. "You must be by yourself."

He was still smiling. "I am. Sitting on the back deck with a beer and my guitar and a song."

"Something you wrote?"

"Co-wrote, yeah."

"What's the name of it?"

"'Two Sides of My Heart'." He paused and made a face. "You could call it a Rayna song."

She laughed softly. "Which means it's a Connie song, right?"

"Yep, it is." He knew he was grinning like a fool. "So what's going on?"

"I got to be in a scene today with Jane Fonda!" She sort of squealed at the end, which make him chuckle. He loved when she got excited about something. He could just imagine the look on her face – the big smile, her eyes wide with the thrill, the light flush on her skin. "Oh my God, Chip, she's acting royalty! And yet she's so down-to-earth and friendly. I just adore her."

"I'm glad to hear it, baby. Sounds like it's been a great shoot."

"It really has. I'll be back in LA in two weeks."

"When do you come to Nashville?"

"Right after the 4th." She was silent for a moment. "How's everything for you?"

He took a deep breath. "Okay. Kids are adjusting. Taylor's the most nervous, I think, but she'll be fine. She makes friends easy and is pretty comfortable in new situations."

"Like you."

He laughed. "I guess. She's got a good sense of humor and it gets her through a lot." She was quiet then and the silence grew.

"Listen, I need to go, but I was hoping I'd get to talk to you. I miss you, Chip."

"I miss you too, Connie."

He could hear her sigh on the other end. "I love you," she said softly.

"I love you too, baby." He heard Patty's car pulling into the driveway. "I'll talk to you soon. Soon as I can."

"Okay. Bye." And then she disconnected.

He slumped back in the chair, unconsciously holding the phone over his heart. It was the same, every time he heard from her and especially when they talked. He missed her, felt the absence of her. It was an ache, in his heart, in his soul. He still didn't know what to expect when she came back to Nashville. If she would think about how complicated it would be and decide it wasn't worth the effort. She was busy right now, but what happened when she got back to LA and had time to really think? It made him anxious. He was ready for the summer break to be over.

"Dad! Dad!" He heard Addie calling out to him from inside the house. He closed his notebook and stood up, laying his guitar back in the case. Then he put a smile on his face and headed for the back door.

* * *

He got his script for the premiere a week before they went back to work. It turned out he and Connie had a lot of scenes together, but almost all of them were flashbacks. He stood in front of the bathroom mirror, running his hand over his face and leaning in and pulling back, wondering how they'd make him look like he was in his twenties, clearly the timeframe for the flashbacks. He found himself wishing he and Connie could talk about it. He knew she was back in Nashville – she'd texted him to let him know – but they hadn't been able to work out time to see each other. It was almost like Patty was keeping him on a leash, not letting him out of her sight. It felt exhausting.

He walked out of the bathroom and Patty was sitting on the edge of the bed with the script in her hand. It didn't bother him that she had read it – he trusted her not to divulge anything – but for the first time, he felt like she was searching for something. She looked up. "Looks like you'll still have a lot of scenes with…Rayna," she said.

He nodded. "Flashbacks, looks like mostly."

"And then what?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not privy to future storylines."

" _She_ would be, right?"

He narrowed his eyes a little. "I don't know. Maybe. Why?"

She looked away. "No reason. Just wondering." She laid the script on the bed and got up. "I'm going to pick up Addie from soccer camp. You want to ride along?"

He understood her to mean 'you're _going_ to ride along', but he didn't really want to. He shook his head. "Nah. I'm gonna stay here." She looked like she was going to say something, so he kept talking. "Actually I want to take Blue for a run." He had persuaded Callie Khouri to let him have the dog that had played his dog Sue on the show and, although she had originally planned to keep the dog herself, she graciously let him have him. They had renamed him Blue. "I need a run. I'll be back for dinner."

Maybe it was because he said he was going for a run. Maybe it was because he was taking Blue. She seemed to be mulling it in her mind for a moment and then she shrugged. "Okay." Then she walked out the door.

He waited until he saw the car pull out of the driveway and then he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Hey. Can you meet me at the river?"

* * *

She was waiting at the edge of the river when he and Blue jogged down the path. She turned and he quickened his pace. She was wearing shorts and a tank top, her hair pulled into a ponytail and through the back of a baseball cap. She looked beautiful as she smiled at him. He ran all the way up to her and put one hand on her back, pulling her close, his other hand holding onto Blue's leash. She put her hands on his shoulders, then slid one up to his face, pulling him close for a kiss.

He let himself linger, enjoying the taste of her mouth, the feel of her tongue against his, her lips pressed hard against his own. She arched her back and tipped her hips against him and he felt her legs touching his, her breasts pressed against his chest. The kiss went on for a long time. Blue was tugging at the leash and he let it go, putting his other hand on her back, pressing her closer. He heard the splash of water and he very reluctantly pulled his lips from hers and glanced over her shoulder. The dog was standing in the water, looking back at them.

He looked back at her, her eyes wide and filled with happiness. He smiled. "Hey."

"Hey," she said, her voice low and husky. "How did you get away?"

"I wanted to go for a run." He looked over her shoulder, then back at her. "Where's Yoby?"

"Jessie's keeping him." Jessie Baylin was her friend and neighbor and, she had shared back before the end of the season, the only other person who knew about them. She trusted Jessie and so, therefore, he made himself trust her too. She smiled broadly. "I'm so glad to see you."

He kissed her again. "Me too." He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "God, I missed you, baby."

She slid her hands down and pressed them against his chest. "This is gonna be hard, Chip," she said. His heart clenched. _Is she gonna end this?_ She looked in his eyes, seeming to search for something there. "Not being able to see each other the way we used to." He felt a sense of relief. "I'm worried about how that's gonna go."

He nodded. "It'll be different, for sure." He gave her a little smile. "Maybe not as much sex."

She blushed and bit her lip, then smiled shyly. "Probably not. But that's not all we are."

He shook his head. "It's not. But we'll be okay."

She nodded and looked down, then back up at him. She made a face and rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I'm gonna be in a _coma_." He laughed, breaking the mood. "A _coma_ , Chip. Could there be anything more soapy than that?"

* * *

He didn't see her again until the day of the table read. It reminded him of the first day back at school. Everyone catching up, hugs and laughter all around. They tried not to be obvious, but he would catch her eye every now and then, hoping they could talk when the table read was over. But she hurried out, stopping only because he grabbed her arm.

"I need to get home," she said, looking around and then back at him, as if to say they needed to be careful.

He frowned. She'd been so happy to see him at the river. He couldn't figure out what had changed. "I'll see you tomorrow, though, right?" he asked.

She gently pulled her arm from his grasp and nodded, giving him a little smile. "Of course. We have those flashback scenes to do." They were scheduled for several days at a house along the Cumberland River, over close to the Opry. It had been identified as Deacon's cabin, so he was anxious to see the visualization of that. She patted his arm. "I'll see you tomorrow." She looked nervous and then she turned and walked away.

His heart was pounding. _What the hell just happened?_

* * *

They had spent the next morning rehearsing the scenes they would do that afternoon on location. He followed her to her trailer. "What's going on, Connie?" he asked, still worried.

She looked away for a moment, then back at him, tears rimming her eyes. "I don't think I can do this," she said, twisting her hands together in front of her.

He took a deep breath. "Turn away from Deacon, you mean?" he asked, with a smile he wasn't feeling.

She gave him a tiny smile and then shook her head. "No," she said. "Chip and Connie. I just don't know if we can do this – if _I_ can do this – to your family."

It wasn't like he hadn't expected she'd be conflicted. His family was here. It made it more real. And things certainly weren't going to be like what they'd had during the first season. He had known it would be hard for her to reconcile it all. She had principles, after all. She was a role model and she took that seriously. This was just love. Of course, as he thought about that, he knew it was more than 'just love'. It was like a sweeping romance movie. She made his heart beat faster, she filled up his soul. He'd often thought that this was like the love Rayna and Deacon had for each other. Or maybe Rayna and Deacon had the same love he and Connie did. Whatever it was, it was deep and soulful and all-consuming.

There was something in her eyes, though, that told him she didn't want to give him up either. He thought about what she'd said before he'd left town. _There will probably be times when I say I'll want to quit this…don't listen to me._ He could see the pull she felt inside. He moved closer to her. She put her hand on his chest as though she was going to push him away. He put his hand on her cheek and he heard her sigh. He stared at the part of her chest that was visible above the neckline of her blouse. He could see the swell of her breasts, the freckles on her skin. She bit her lip. He trailed his finger down her jaw and over her collarbone. She sucked in her breath as he dipped his finger between her breasts.

"Oh," she said, her voice breathless. She moved a little closer and put her hand between his legs. He growled deep in his throat, then pushed her back against the trailer wall. He reached his fingers into the waistband of the boy shorts she was wearing and jerked them down, along with her panties, until they fell to the floor. She unzipped his jeans and reached in, closing her hand over him, and he moaned. Then he brushed her hand aside and bent slightly at the knees. He pinned her against the wall with his hands and entered her quickly. She gasped, then started moving her hips, wrapping her legs around his waist. He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers as he made love to her fiercely, letting her know how much he had missed doing this with her.

She moved her hips with abandon, matching his intensity with her own, grinding herself against him, struggling to take him in as completely as possible. She let her hands slide down to his ass, flattening her palms against him and pulling him into her. He could tell she'd wanted this as much as he did, was no more able to stop than he could.

She finally cried out and he could feel her pulse around him and then he buried his mouth against her shoulder, crying out, "Oh, God!" Then he relaxed against her, pressing her against the wall, his arms around her back. She held him tight inside her, running her tongue over her lower lip and looking at him through heavy-lidded eyes. They were both breathing heavily.

"I missed this," she whispered. "I missed _you_." He started to pull back but she held him tight. "No. I need to feel you inside me for as long as I can."

He kissed her then, deeply and completely. She had said that to him before and he wasn't sure she knew how much it meant to hear. It was so damn intimate, being with her like that. For this moment, there was her and only her. "I missed you too, baby," he whispered back. He was glad he hadn't listened.

* * *

"They asked me to go to New York next week for some promo," he said to his wife when he got home from the set.

"Just you?"

He shook his head. "Connie and Hayden too."

She breathed in, her face tense. "I see."

"New season. Helps to get the excitement up. You know, the aftermath of the accident and all." He mouth felt dry as he watched her.

She looked away, then back at him. "It seems like you and Connie got…very close this last year."

He shrugged, trying to show a nonchalance he didn't feel. "She's very invested, in the show, in the characters. It's important to her, so it's important to me, to be honest about the characters." He cleared his throat. "She makes me better as an actor." He put his hands on the kitchen counter and leaned forward slightly. "All I had last year was the show and the people on the show. She's a big part of that and I spent more time, on set, with her than anyone else. It's just natural we would have gotten close."

She seemed to consider that, then walked over and looked at the calendar on the wall, the one that included all the kids' activities, his work schedule, as well as events. "What days?"

He tried to keep the irritation out of his voice. "Tuesday and Wednesday."

"It looks like you're supposed to work on Tuesday." She turned to look at him, an impassive look on her face.

"I am. But they're moving one scene to the morning and the other to later in the week. We'll go straight to the airport and then we're doing _Good Morning America_ and _Live with Kelly and Michael_ Wednesday morning. Coming back after."

She was still looking at him, almost like she didn't believe him. Then she looked back at the calendar. "It looks like I need to stay here. Addie and Taylor both have things going on."

He wanted to say there would have been no reason for her to come at all, that he didn't understand why she felt that was necessary, but he kept his mouth shut. She'd been needling him about Connie, usually in the form of making pointed comments about how the characters were no longer together. That wasn't completely true – he and Connie still had scenes together – but he supposed it was at least true that the relationship was more chilly and standoffish. His relationship with Connie, fortunately, was nothing like that. "It's just a short trip anyway. Not a big deal." He turned then and walked away, not wanting to get into any kind of further discussion about it.

* * *

He and Connie were waiting in the gatehouse for the flight to board. He glanced at her. "Too bad Hayden didn't come after all," he said.

She smirked and smacked him on the arm. "You aren't unhappy about that at all," she said with a grin.

He laughed. "You're right. I'm not." He got serious then. "So Luke's gonna be Rayna's next Teddy?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "I guess. Does that bother you? I mean, you've got the lawyer."

He had his arm on the armrest, right next to hers, but not quite touching. He bounced his arm a bit. "I know it's not real, but there's a kiss."

She raised up her arm and rested her chin on her fist as she smiled at him. "You've had sex with the lawyer. More than once."

He smirked. "Yeah, that's true. I guess they're gonna keep 'em apart for a bit."

"For a while, I think."

He looked at her. "You okay with that?"

She looked thoughtful. "I don't know. I think it's probably a natural reaction. I think it'll play out for a bit, but I hope not too long. But there's a lot to work through. She did lie to him, after all." She rolled her eyes. "And it was a pretty big, life changing lie, let's be real. I wouldn't blame Deacon for holding it against her for a very long time."

He looked at her. "I think he got past the anger when they survived the accident. It's the hurt that will take time. But I hope you're right and that it doesn't take too long."

"Well, I didn't say that's how it _would_ go. How I _hope_ it will go." She sat back. "I don't trust that it'll play out that way though. I think the network has their own ideas for the show and not just Deacon and Rayna. But it's that same old story that they all somehow believe two main characters can't be in a strong, loving relationship." She waved her hand in the air. "Of course, _that's_ been shown to be possible."

Just then the boarding call was made and they got up, ready to head for New York.

* * *

They went to a hole-in-the-wall bar that had pool tables and dart boards and loud music coming from a jukebox. It was dark and filled with people who had no idea who Connie Britton and Chip Esten were. They played a couple games of pool, teasing each other about how bad they were, before deciding to get something to eat. The floors were a little sticky and the booths were a little wobbly, but the beer was ice cold and the burgers and fries were outstanding. They sat on the same side of the booth, like teenagers, and kissed and snuggled. He shared his fries with her and they laughed and just enjoyed having time together.

She told him about Yoby's latest antics and he talked about how his kids were adjusting to life in Nashville. They talked about what it was like growing up and about their very first trips to New York City. She told him about teaching aerobics and he told her about selling real estate advertising supplies, trying to make ends meet in between auditions. She talked about some of the causes she was passionate about and how she was hoping to contribute and he told her about the Light the Night walks that he and his family were part of. Finally she leaned into him and her hand felt warm against his thigh. "We have to be up kind of early, so how about we make it an early night?" she whispered in his ear.

He smiled and leaned in for a kiss. "I think that sounds like a great idea."

She bit down on her lip. "I know you have a room, but I was thinking that maybe you might want to stay in mine."

He grinned. "I was thinking it didn't even need to be said."

* * *

A police siren on the street far below woke him up. He could see on the digital clock that it was 1:40 AM. Connie's breathing was even and deep, her head on his shoulder. They hadn't spent the night together since the last night he was in Nashville after the end of the first season. Back before he'd gone back to LA and she'd come here. He had missed this. Missed seeing her wrapped up in a sheet, her hair in messy waves around her face, her lips on his, their hands everywhere, her legs tangled up with his. The sex had been hot and he could feel himself getting aroused just thinking about it.

He couldn't help it, he slid his fingers down her arm and then over her sheet covered thigh. She made a noise and then her eyes opened. She smiled, a lazy, half-asleep smile. "You're here," she whispered and moved her hand over his chest.

"I'm here," he whispered back. He slid his hand under the sheet and trailed his fingers down between her legs. "And I'm here," he said. She bit her lip and moved her hips slightly. As he pushed two fingers inside her, he moved so that he could capture her lips with his. She moaned as she responded to his kiss, snaking her tongue into his mouth, rocking her hips back and forth. That wasn't what he really wanted, though, and he was sure it wasn't enough for her either. So he moved on top of her and she pulled her mouth from his and smiled.

"Oh, yes," she murmured. "I need you to make love to me now."

* * *

When he went down to his room the next morning to shower and change clothes, he saw that he had a message on the room phone. He frowned and picked up the receiver, following the instructions to retrieve the message. When it came on, there was a pause, then he heard Patty's voice. _Chip, it's midnight New York time. How come you're not in your room?_ He sat down on the bed that hadn't been slept in and put his head in his hands.

* * *

He had learned a lesson the last time he'd missed a call from Patty. As he and Connie sped through the pre-dawn light to the GMA studios, he texted her. _Sorry I missed your call. Since we had an early call I put room phone on DND. See you this afternoon._ Then he put his phone away and slipped his hand into Connie's. She smiled at him, then spent the drive rubbing her thumb over his hand. He took a deep breath and let it out. This had been a good trip. He'd deal with whatever fallout came of it when he got back to Nashville.

 _A/N: I don't know if they actually did any promotional appearances together prior to the season starting, but I just thought it would be fun to add in. Thanks again for reading and for your reviews!_


	20. Chapter 20

They were waiting at the gate for the flight to board for Nashville. She looked over at him. "You okay?"

He looked back. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

She shrugged. "You seemed a little quiet." She smiled. "Not your usual fun-loving Chip self."

He smiled back. "Guess it was just an early morning."

She frowned. "You sure?"

What she didn't need to know was the confrontation he was expecting when he got home. Patty wasn't a yeller – she usually just clammed up when there was a conflict – but this was different. If she thought he and Connie were involved with each other, he had no idea how she'd react. She never cared for any female friendships he had but she was reacting differently to this one. He nodded at Connie then. "Yeah, I'm sure," he said. He gave her a little smile. "Just wish we weren't headed back to the real world, you know?"

She reached over and rubbed his arm. "We don't live in a bubble," she said. "We knew it would be challenging."

He took a deep breath. "You're right." He gave her a quick smile. "I guess we take what we get and be glad for it."

She nodded. "I think that's what we do." She patted his arm. "We can do this."

He laughed a little then. "Shoe's kinda on the other foot this time."

She smiled and nodded. "We hold each other up."

* * *

He pulled into the garage just before two. The kids all had after school activities and wouldn't be home until later in the afternoon. He didn't get out of the car right away. He closed his eyes and rubbed his face, then leaned back against the seat. He wished he could just walk away. He knew he was being unfair to Connie, but he felt like he'd made a commitment to his family. Sometimes he wished he was more like Deacon. Deacon would walk in a situation like this. Or at least that was his MO. And while it would make things simpler if he could just abandon his responsibilities, it was just not something Chip would do. So far Connie was understanding. He just hoped it remained that way.

He finally got out of the car and retrieved his overnight bag, then he trudged up the steps into the house. Not surprisingly Patty was waiting in the kitchen. She looked at him with steely eyes and he breathed in, waiting to see what she'd do or say. She was quiet at first, then, just as he turned to go upstairs, she said, "I thought it was the three of you going."

He turned back. "It was supposed to be. Hayden cancelled."

"When?"

He frowned. "Does it matter?"

She nodded. "Actually yes, it does. Did you know before you went up there that she wasn't going?"

He sighed and then leveled his gaze at her. "Yes, we knew before we went."

"You shouldn't have gone either then."

He looked at her incredulously. "Excuse me?"

She looked a little apprehensive, but she pushed forward. "You shouldn't have gone either. Just the two of you. It doesn't look right."

He narrowed his eyes. "What? I mean, Deacon and Rayna are a _couple_. How would that look wrong?"

She shook her head. "No, they're not, Chip." She set her jaw. "I don't want you doing things like this with just her anymore. If it's required, then I want to go with you."

He shook his head. "That's ridiculous, Patty. What about the kids?"

"They're old enough…."

"No." He walked over closer to her and she took a small step back. "You know this is the kind of job I've been waiting for my whole career. Working with Connie Britton just makes it better, will make _me_ better." He stabbed at his chest. "She's a huge reason this show is successful and will be successful and that's good for all of us. And if I'm asked to do promotion for the show, with whoever, I'm doing it. It's part of the deal."

She stared at him. "You need to remember you have a family."

He widened his eyes. "I _do_ remember I have a family. That's why y'all are here."

She crossed her arms and looked at him stubbornly. "You need to really think about what you're doing."

He put his hands on the counter and leaned forward. "What exactly do you think I'm doing?" he asked, keeping his voice measured, even though his heart was beating wildly. She just stared at him, then finally looked away. He silently breathed a sigh of relief. "That's what I thought." He straightened up and turned, heading for the stairs.

"Don't do anything that causes talk," she said to his back.

That was the absolute last thing he wanted. He wanted to protect both his kids and Connie. He just shook his head and walked up the stairs.

* * *

"I thought I'd find you here," came her voice from behind him.

He turned to see her standing at the front door to Deacon's house. He smiled. "Hey there," he said. He patted the couch next to him. "Come sit." This had become their place. Mostly people left them alone when they were there. They always carried script pages with them, so it appeared they were talking story, which they actually often were, but it was mostly known that they'd become close friends, always together, sharing thoughts about their lines and stories. It made it easier to spend time together, even if it wasn't always the way they would have preferred. They'd grown even closer, though, sharing ideas and talking about everything.

She sat an appropriate amount of space away from him, laying the ever present script pages on the couch between them. She smiled, patting the paper. "Big episode, huh?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yep. Maybe too big."

She laughed. "It's only fair, don't you think? You have the lawyer, I get Luke."

He shook his head, a smirk on his face. "I can tell you one thing, I am _not_ looking forward to seeing _that_ on screen."

She smiled coyly and shrugged. "Look at it this way. He's just recurring, so he'll be gone before you know it."

"Doesn't mean Deacon and Rayna will be together."

She rested her elbow on the back of the couch and leaned her head against her fist. "Maybe not." She tapped his knee. "He needs to get rid of lawyer babe first anyway." He laughed. "But, you know, maybe Maddie gets to be the thing that brings them closer. I mean, they have to be in each other's worlds now."

"You know she doesn't want him to be there."

She nodded. "I think you're right about that. At least for the time being. But she's being very brave about it."

He grinned. "True."

She rubbed the palm of her hand against her leg. "So you've got the walk coming up, right?"

He nodded. He'd told her about the Light the Night walk he and his family had participated in out in LA and their plan to do so in Nashville. She knew about his daughter and what a special cause it was to him. "Couple weeks, yeah," he said.

She looked a little wistful then. "I wish I could join you," she said. When he'd first told her about it, she'd asked if she could participate, but he'd felt like it would cause friction and conflict and he didn't want her in the middle of that. He had avoided talking with her about Patty's insecurity where she was concerned. "But I understand." She shrugged a little. "Maybe some other year." She gave him a little smile and he smiled back.

He nodded towards her. "Nice dress," he said, with a wink. "Although it looks a lot more like a long shirt."

She looked down and laughed, picking at the lace edging. "It kind of does, doesn't it?" She made a face. "I think I'm wearing it for the next three days. I'm not sure I've worn the same outfit this many days in a row in a while. But it's Rayna at home, Rayna talks to Teddy, Rayna visits Deacon." She looked down and patted the script. "Kind of tough moment for them." She looked back up at him. "The first time I read it, I cried."

That surprised him. "You did?"

She nodded, folding her hands in her lap. "Deacon wants this, but he's so afraid, and she just won't give an inch. She'll do it but she's not gonna do it willingly. Because it's not really about Maddie, although it is a little bit. It's because she doesn't want to put herself in the same place with him, doesn't want to get hurt." She breathed in. "It reminds me of the scene we did when they both confronted the possibility they wouldn't be able to make music again. That was so raw and it exposed the fact that she still cares very deeply for him. And she's spent every second since then telling herself it's okay to hold him at arms' length and it's okay to just not make a move, because if she does, it puts her heart at risk."

"I hadn't thought about it quite like that, but I see what you mean."

"That's how I think we should play it. He's trying to take the pressure off, defuse the situation, and she just shuts him down. She's trying to make her mark again, like she's done every time she's seen him since the accident." She tilted her head a little to the side. "You don't really think she's done with him, do you?"

"You mean, relationship-wise?" She nodded. "I don't know. I guess she wants it both ways."

She shook her head. "I don't think she wants it. Or at least she doesn't _want_ to want it. It takes her by surprise and bothers her at the same time when she realizes she doesn't like seeing him with the lawyer or thinking about him being with her. She says she's past it, but you see it when she's alone or when he walks away from her. But she's gonna do her best to, if not keep him in a box, to draw that line again. Hard."

He smiled a little. "And he's trying super hard to convince everyone, especially himself, that _Megan_ is who he wants." He winked and she laughed about the fact that she didn't like to say the character's name.

Just then her name was called over the intercom. She picked up her script pages. "Gotta go gossip about Peggy with Judith," she said, with a smirk. She lowered her voice then. "Do you have time to stop by my trailer before you go home?"

He smiled. "I'll make time."

She stood up and then tapped his shoulder. "Good." She walked off of the set and he turned to watch her. He smiled as he watched the sway of her hips and admired her long legs, perfectly displayed by the nearly thigh-high dress.

"Dayum," he said quietly to himself.

* * *

The sun was low in the western sky, turning it magnificent shades of yellow and orange and red, as he walked up to her trailer. He went up the steps and knocked, looking around. He heard movement inside and then she opened the door. "Hey," she said, with a smile. "Come in." She stepped back and he quickly entered, as she shut the door behind him. Then he turned and pushed her back against the door, bending his knees slightly as he put his arms around her waist and pressed his lips against hers. She lifted her hands and put them on the side of his face and responded hungrily to his kiss. When he finally pulled away, she smiled. "I've been missing that," she said, her voice low and husky.

He grinned and then took her hand and led her over to the bench seat. She tucked her legs underneath her and curled up into his side. "You have a good day?" he asked.

She ran her fingers over his arm. "Yeah, I guess." He frowned slightly. "Just so many takes and changing lines on the fly." She rolled her eyes. Then she leaned in and kissed him. "Thanks for staying. I really wanted us to have some time alone."

He kissed her back. "I thought we had time alone. On Deacon's couch," he said, with a smirk.

She laughed. "You know what I mean."

He raised an eyebrow. "You talking about sexy time?"

She grinned and made a little noise in the back of her throat. "I could be persuaded," she said and he saw the pink tinge in her skin rise up underneath her freckles. She still had on the plaid dress and he ran his fingers up her leg, sliding them underneath the hem, as he leaned in again and kissed her. When he realized she had no panties on, he chuckled against her lips.

"You didn't need any persuading really, did ya?" he asked with a wink.

She put her hands on his face and then moved so that she was straddling his lap. "I know what I want," she said with a smile. "And I knew I wanted my man tonight."

He put his hands on her hips and watched as she worked to unbutton and unzip his jeans, moving slightly so she could put her hands on him. As he felt her cool fingers touching him, he sucked in his breath sharply. "Oh, God, baby," he murmured. She looked at him, her eyes filled with desire, biting down slightly on her bottom lip. He lifted her then and positioned her so he could slide inside her. She caught her breath and moved her hands to his neck. He reached around and palmed her ass, pulling her closer as she moaned, throwing her head back and closing her eyes.

When he was finally completely inside her, she looked down at him, biting her lip again. "This feels so good," she whispered, and he moved one hand to the back of her neck, bringing her down so he could kiss her. As her hips started to move, he slid his hand back to her hip and started moving in and out of her with slow, powerful strokes. She made little noises in the back of her throat and he slid his hands up under her dress and cupped her bare bottom.

He could feel himself starting to go over the edge and he slowed his movement as she accelerated her own. Her hands cupped his face as she kissed him hungrily. Then suddenly she stiffened and pulled her lips from his and then made little gasping noises as he felt her pulsing around him. He slid into her with one final, powerful stroke and groaned loudly. Then she slumped against him and he held her tightly. "Damn, baby," he whispered, as he stroked her face. She smiled a lazy smile and brushed her lips against his.

Finally she moved off of him. He stood and zipped up his jeans, then sat back down next to her, drawing her into his arms. She rubbed a hand over his chest, curling into him. She sighed. "I need to get home," she said, sounding disappointed.

He nodded. "Me too."

She kissed him. "I'm glad you stayed."

He ran his eyes over her face, pushing her hair back over her shoulder. "All you gotta do is ask and I'll make it happen," he said. He got up then and started for the door. She followed behind him. He took her in his arms and kissed her, wishing he didn't have to leave her.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you," he said, kissing her once more. Then he reluctantly opened the door and slid out, jogging down the steps and over to his car.

As he rolled out of the parking lot, headed for the road, he glanced in his rearview mirror at her trailer, with the lights still on inside. Just as he rounded the corner, they went out. He missed her already.

* * *

It was rare for them to have a conveniently unscheduled block of time together, especially now that their storylines were diverging away from each other. She was off and he had an afternoon scene get rescheduled. As he walked off the set, he called her.

"Hey, whatcha doing?" he asked when she answered.

"Sitting on my back deck watching Yoby attempt to do a puzzle…all by himself," she said, with a little laugh. He smiled. Yoby was at that 'I can do it myself' phase he remembered well.

"I got an early release. You interested in some company?"

"If it's you, then yes, I am. Are you leaving now?"

"I am. Have you eaten?"

"I haven't. Are you going to pick something up?"

"Yeah. Salad for you. Burger and fries for me."

"Aren't you supposed to be watching your girlish figure?" He smirked. He was forever complaining about having to watch his food intake while filming.

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, burger, no fries."

She laughed. "You _could_ have a salad," she teased.

He smiled to himself. "I could, but I won't," he responded. He reached his trailer. "Let me get changed and I'll be there."

"Oh, wait, are you wearing one of Deacon's famous flannel shirts?"

He looked down. He was not wearing one of Deacon's famous flannel shirts. "No, unfortunately I'm just wearing a plain old tan shirt."

He could hear her sigh on the other end. "Damn. Those flannel shirts are just so sexy. Well, come anyway."

He laughed. "I may need to buy my own flannel shirts."

"I think you just might. Now go on and get going, while I help Yoby put his puzzle pieces away."

He could hear Yoby's plaintive 'no' in the background and he chuckled. "Yes, ma'am. I'll be there as quick as I can."

* * *

She had a thoughtful look on her face as she lay facing him, her head resting on the pillow. She wasn't looking him in the eye, she was watching her fingers trail up and down his arm. He liked how it felt, so normal, so _mundane_ , as Deacon might say, so settled actually. It caused him to wonder if they'd be able to manage this for however long it took. He tried not to think too far ahead, too far into the future, because sometimes his hopes would get mixed up in worst case scenarios. He worried too much, he knew, about what might happen if one day Patty called him out on her suspicions – and he knew she had them – and blew everything out of the water. He worried about how it would impact his kids, after he'd uprooted them and turned their lives upside down, to then do it all over again. He worried that this woman, the one he'd just made love to and who was touching him the way she liked to as they came down off that high, would decide one day that it was no longer worth it, that _this_ was no longer worth doing. That she needed something sure and present, someone who could make her his focus and not give her stolen time.

He sighed and she looked up, her fingers stopped. "What's wrong?" she asked.

He shook his head, suddenly feeling a lump in his throat. "Nothing," he replied.

She frowned. "I don't believe you." She moved her hand and placed it against his face. "You look like you're thinking too much."

He breathed out and tried to smile then. "Me? Thinking too much?"

She smirked. "You always try to act like everything's okay and that you've got it all under control." Her look changed to one of concern. "I know it's not that simple, Chip. I know you're pulled in two different directions." She looked down and then back at him. "I can make it easier for you," she whispered.

"No," he said, a little more firmly than he'd meant to. "I mean, I know it's selfish of me, but thinking about you not being in my life, or just you being there but…I don't know. I couldn't just work with you anymore, Connie, not have that be all that it is, because, well, it's just not. You know that."

She nodded and let her thumb run over his lips. "I do know that," she whispered. She bit down on her lip. "I wouldn't want that either. I don't think I could just, you know, turn my feelings off. But I worry about how this is for you."

"Don't worry about me, baby."

She slid over a little closer and brushed his lips with hers. "I'll always worry about you. I can't help it." She smiled at him. "It's what we do for the person we love."

He put his hand on the back of her head and pulled her in for another kiss. This was why he would fight for her – and for them – for however long it took and no matter what they had to go through to get to the end. _There's gonna be a future for us. There has to be._ He promised himself he'd make that happen for them.

* * *

When he saw her come up the aisle, he thought she looked gorgeous. The truth was he'd never seen her look anything but gorgeous, whether she was dressed up in a black sparkly gown or in shorts and a tank top. She caught his eye and lifted her hand in a wave. He could hear the annoyance in Patty's sigh. He could only imagine the look on her face, because as Connie and her friend approached the row, Connie stepped back and let her friend go in first.

He and Connie had been invited to present one of the CMA awards, taking advantage of _Nashville_ airing on ABC and the obvious connection to country music. She had told him it was a makeup for how badly the CMA's had gone for their characters and they were looking forward to having some fun with it. Patty, as usual, had not been thrilled, but there was really very little she could say. Any kind of promo the show asked him to do, he was committed to doing it. The fact that they wanted to take advantage of the obvious chemistry between Deacon and Rayna was just something she'd have to learn to live with.

When they sat down, Connie leaned forward, looking first at Patty, then him. "Hey y'all," she said. He just raised his hand, knowing that anything else he did would be dissected. Patty had started tightening the reins when he'd gotten back from the promo visit to New York, something that wasn't surprising, but still frustrating. So far he'd been able to cover every time she raised her antenna, but she was always watching. She sat rigidly in her seat, hardly looking at him. He closed his eyes for a second, wondering how this would go, and trying not to steal another glance at Connie.

* * *

When they walked off the set and back into the bowels of Bridgestone, she turned to him and whispered, "How long do you think we have before we need to get back to our seats?"

He wrinkled his forehead. "Um, I don't know. What are you thinking?" They were walking briskly down the hall towards the Lexus Lounge, where all the winner interviews were taking place and the presenters and performers were staged. He knew there was also a very nice buffet spread in there and he was starving.

She looked around and then back at him. She inclined her head towards a darkened hallway just ahead. "Do you think there might be, uh, a little room or something there?" Her lips twitched in a little sneaky smile.

He smiled then. "Let's find out." He looked around as well and didn't see anyone focused on them, so he put his hand on the back of her arm and hurriedly pushed her towards the hallway. As they walked, there were several doors, all of them locked. Then finally, right at the back of the hall, where they would have been forced to turn back, there was a tiny supply closet and the door opened.

They hurried in. She felt for the light switch and waited for him to close the door and then flipped it on. He looked around. It was small and cramped, with nothing but cleaning supplies crammed in. He looked at her. She hesitated just a second, then turned to face the door, pressing her hands against it. "We need to hurry," she said. "I've been wanting you from the minute I saw you and I can't wait any longer."

He leaned against her, his mouth against her neck. "Me either, baby," he growled. He hurriedly unfastened his pants, then grabbed her dress in both hands and pushed it up over her ass. She was already breathing hard and she slid her hands down on the door, pressing herself against him. He used one hand to hold up the back of her dress and then he slid his fingers in the waistband of her panties, pulling them down over her ass and past her thighs.

"Hurry, Chip," she whispered frantically as she twitched her ass at him. He groaned and then entered her. Even though he knew they needed to be quick, he still took his time, letting her adjust to him. The little noises she made as she did so nearly drove him over the edge. He steadily pressed in and she moved her hips as she took him in. It only took a few long strokes for both of them to climax, as he pressed his mouth against her shoulder and she covered her own mouth with her hand.

She held him inside her for just a moment, then moved. They both focused on getting themselves back together and then she turned to him. He reached out and smoothed a few messy strands of her hair and she smiled. "Wasn't there some food back here somewhere?" she asked, with a sassy look in her eyes.

He smiled and brushed her lips with a kiss. "Yes, there is," he said. "Now that we went the wrong way, let's go find our way back."

She laughed. "I like how you think." He reached behind her and opened the door, letting her walk out ahead of him. As they walked down the hallway, she slowed so that they were walking side-by-side. She looked up at him. "I'll be thinking about that the rest of the night," she said.

He raised his eyebrows and nodded, smiling at her. "Oh, yeah. That was definitely something to keep thinking about." He put his hand on her back as they made their way back down the main hallway and walked into the Lexus Lounge.

"Oh, look, Chip," she said with a smile. "Pizza!"

* * *

He walked out of the bathroom and around to his side of the bed. Patty was laying on her side, towards the door, the way she usually did. He hoped she was already asleep. She'd said very little to him on the way home, although he had been expecting some sort of tirade. Every time he'd gone to talk to Connie and her friend, during commercial breaks, Patty would make a noise that signaled her annoyance, and he would ignore it every time. He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his face. It had been a long night and he was on set the next day, although not until after lunch thankfully. He breathed in and then out and slid under the covers, reaching to turn out the bedside lamp.

"I could smell her on you," she said quietly and he froze.

He struggled to speak. "What?" he croaked. His eyes were wide with apprehension.

"Was it really necessary to put your arm around her? I could smell her perfume all over you."

He closed his eyes with relief and slowly breathed out. Then he turned out the light. "You're gonna have to stop this shit," he said firmly. He waited for her to say something but when he heard her irritated sigh, he knew she'd gone as far as she dared.

 _A/N: I have never been in the bowels of Bridgestone Arena, although I have been to the Lexus Lounge. I have no idea if there are really any hidden areas they could have snuck off to, but isn't it kind of fun to imagine that there were? Thanks for reading and especially for your reviews!_


	21. Chapter 21

_A/N: For those of you who've been waiting for the next chapter, here it is! I'm sorry it's taking so long between chapters, but work is getting in the way. Enjoy!_

It was the last day of filming before the Thanksgiving break. He had a scene with Connie and Eric to shoot that day. Connie had been in New York for a couple days for an event and he was looking forward to seeing her before they broke for the week. He'd hated that she'd been gone right before the break and it made him happy when he'd gotten her text the night before letting him know she was back. When he came downstairs, Patty was sitting at the counter with the laptop opened, a smug look on her face. She looked up at him and closed it, giving him an odd smile. "I need to go get the kids up," she said, sliding off the stool and heading for the stairs.

He walked over to the coffee maker and poured himself a mug of coffee, then sat on the stool she'd just vacated, opening up the laptop to see what it was that had apparently intrigued her. At first, he felt a crushing ache, but the longer he looked the more the ache turned to anger. He was looking at a photo of Connie, with a man – not just any man, but a very handsome _younger_ man – at the event she'd attended. She looked gorgeous, as she always did, but she had her arm around the man, looking happy. He slammed the laptop closed and got up from the stool, angrily pacing the kitchen.

She had told him she was attending with a friend, but she hadn't told him who and he hadn't asked, assuming it was one of her girlfriends, who typically accompanied her to events. His blood was boiling and he could hardly think straight. He knew Patty had left that up specifically for his benefit and that made him even angrier. He picked up his wallet from the counter and shoved it into his back pocket, along with his phone. Then he grabbed his keys and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

* * *

He grew more and more annoyed the longer it took to get the scene just right. When the director was finally satisfied, he got up and started out. Connie reached for his arm and he turned to look at her. "Hey," she said, a smile on her face, looking as though nothing was wrong.

"Hey," he said tersely and she frowned.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," he said.

She looked around and then lowered her voice. "Can you stop by?"

He bit his lip and looked away from her. "Probably not," he said, and then he walked away from her, his heart feeling like it was broken in two.

* * *

He pulled open the door to his trailer and she was standing at the bottom of the steps, looking up at him. "Hey," she said. "Can we talk?"

He tried to seem nonchalant as he stood there, looking anywhere but at her. "I was getting ready to leave," he said.

"Well, I can see that, but I won't see you again until after the break and it seemed like you were out of sorts. I wanted to talk to you."

He looked back at her then. "Why?"

She looked hurt. "Because I'm not going to see you for almost ten days. And because I haven't seen you since Tuesday." She stepped up on the bottom step. "What's going on?"

He could see she wasn't going to leave, so he turned and walked back into the trailer. He heard the door close and he turned to see her standing there, her arms crossed, looking at him. "Are you mad at me or something?" she asked. "Because it sure seems like it and I wish you'd enlighten me on just what I've done."

He breathed in and out, his hands on his hips. It was obvious she wasn't going to leave and, truthfully, he needed to know. He leveled his gaze at her. "So you had a date to this thing you went to?" he asked, knowing he sounded petulant.

She looked shocked. "No, I did not have a _date_." She used air quotes as she said date. "Why in the world would you think that?"

"You sure looked pretty cozy. With a _man_ , Connie. And I thought you were going with a friend. Not a _date_." He was trying not to get too loud, but he was getting angrier.

She scowled. "He was my escort, Chip."

"Oh, really? You're paying people now?"

She turned red and walked over to him, slapping him. "How dare you! I would never do that and I can't believe you'd even think that about me. He's a very dear friend, not that it's any of your business." She put her hands on her hips as he covered his cheek with his hand. It still stung. "Considering the fact that I have to look at pictures of you and…Patty all the time and read all this stuff about how wonderful she is and amazing and all that, you can deal with a male friend." He could tell she was furious, to the point that she was shaking.

"You _know_ why I have to do that. You _know_ she's either sitting right there or she's practically dictating that."

She threw her hands up in the air. "Yes, I do know that, but it doesn't make it any easier to hear. Can you imagine what it feels like to read that or hear that? To have the man I've been involved with for over a year talking about another woman? I get that I'm not the one who has the upper hand here. I don't have the ring or the kids or the name. I don't live in the same house with you or sleep in the same bed with you. I get whatever spare time you have, so if I take a male friend to an event with me, you don't have any right to get angry with me." Her eyes were flashing angrily and she looked furious.

He was breathing hard, chewing on his lip, his heart pounding in his chest. "You've known all along what my plan was."

She nodded. "Yes, you're right, I did, and shame on me for getting my feelings hurt. I've never said anything because I didn't want you to feel bad, but maybe I should have before now. I hate this, Chip. I hate pretending you're just my friend. I hate pretending I don't love you. I hate having to go to things by myself. And I hate you questioning my intentions." She took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes. "Maybe it's good we have a break. I don't think I can do this with you right now." She turned and headed for the door.

"Yeah, it's probably a good thing," he shouted after her. She gave him one last angry look before she opened the door and walked out, slamming it behind her.

He stood, breathing in and out, feeling himself shake with anger and hurt. Then he sat down, wondering if he'd just screwed things up for good.

* * *

He was standing in the boarding area at the airport the next day, watching the planes taxiing and taking off. He was exhausted. He hadn't slept much, reliving over and over the fight he and Connie had had. He had realized he'd been an ass and that instead of making assumptions, he should have asked. He realized that Patty had baited him with the picture and it pissed him off at her. He had a lump in his throat that he couldn't get rid of. He glanced over his shoulder at Patty and the kids, sitting together waiting to board. They were headed to Virginia for the holiday and he felt the same sense of emptiness he had the year before.

He pulled out his phone, scrolling down to her name. He took a deep breath and then typed out _I'm sorry. I was wrong. I love you._ He waited, but nothing came back. When the boarding call was made, there had still been no response. He felt a sense of panic the entire flight to DC and wondered if he'd lost her with his petty jealousy and lack of consideration for her feelings.

As soon as the wheels touched the ground on the other end, he turned on his phone and waited, holding his breath. It seemed like it took forever for his phone to find service and then forever again before the text showed up that had been sent while he was in the air. _I love you too. We'll talk next week._

He felt like crying, but he just sat back and smiled, holding his phone over his heart.

* * *

Back in Nashville and back on set, it made him nervous, anticipating the first time he and Connie would see each other. They'd texted a bit, during the holidays, but nothing heavy. He still wasn't sure everything would go back to the way it was. They would have a scene together that day with Lennon and it made him anxious. They would be filming in Deacon's living room and he was there early, trying to settle his nerves. As he waited he heard footsteps behind him and he knew they were hers. He turned his head when she came up beside him.

She put her hands in her pockets and looked up at him. "Hey," she said, with a soft smile.

"Hey." He took a deep breath. "Look, I…."

She shook her head. "Not here. Um, can you come by before you leave?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I can do that."

She smiled again. "Great."

* * *

He thought again about the conversation he'd had with Patty right after they'd moved to Nashville, or more accurately, her lecture.

 _They were at the house alone. He was sitting in the den reading when she came in and sat down across from him. He looked up. He couldn't describe the look on her face. It wasn't angry or hurt, it was almost unemotional._

" _I've known you for a long time, Chip, and despite the fact that you're an actor, you telegraph your feelings in your eyes. It's impossible not to know how you feel. I can see the change. There's a look there now that wasn't there before,_ _hasn't_ _been there in a long time._

" _I'm not oblivious to how our life has been for all these years. But I've still stood by you and supported you, taken care of our family and made things easier for you. So now it's your turn to do that for me. I know I can't be there all the time, but I feel like I have to watch out to be sure you don't hurt the kids. I'm certain that's not your intention, but I'll remind you to remember that you do have a family. You can be impulsive and, although I don't think you want to do the wrong thing by them, you get caught up in feelings and emotions._

" _So I'm going to manage you. Everything you do, from non-show appearances and promotions, to interviews and your performing calendar. I want to make sure that everything you do and say is in line with the messaging of a devoted family man. I can't have it be any other way and I think you owe me that._

" _I know there are some things that aren't in my control, but I will control those I can."_

He hadn't known quite what to say, so he said nothing. What he did understand was that she had drawn her line in the sand. He was still going to have some degree of freedom, because she couldn't always be there. In exchange for that, he was going to have to give up some control in other areas. It meant she had acknowledged she couldn't control his thoughts and his emotions and she couldn't make him stop loving Connie Britton. He just needed to manage his reactions to her, understanding now that she would try to use those emotions against him.

* * *

Connie was waiting for him when he came by. He still felt a little uncertain about how things would go, but she put her hands on his arms, raised up on her toes and kissed him, which made him feel a little better. She took him by the hand and led him to the bench, where they sat facing each other. Neither one said anything at first. Finally, she broke the silence. "That really scared me, Chip," she said. "I don't want that to happen again."

He reached for her hand, grateful that she let him take it. "I don't either," he said. "I should have asked. I know that."

She nodded. "Yes, you should have." She sighed. "Here's the thing. I wasn't looking for a relationship when I came here. I was a new mom – _am_ a new mom – and I didn't have time for all that. But there was something between us that I just couldn't turn away from." She smiled a little. "Still can't. I thought a lot about this while we were off." She rubbed his hand with her thumb. "I love you. I know what we have is unconventional and we don't get to spend as much time together as we might like. I know that you're trying to be a good father to your kids and I admire that. Yes, it makes me a little crazy when I have to read about your perfect marriage to the perfect wife. It's painful and it also makes me wonder if we have the right to do this."

He squeezed her hand. "It's not what I want, Connie. I _have_ thought about leaving, and I'll think that I can still see my kids, that divorced dads still get to see their kids, but then I remember that's weekends and maybe a few weeks in the summer. It's not every day, where I really get to be there for the things that matter to them. And I think to myself that it's worth putting up with the rest, to have that. Except that I'd really rather be with you. I'd rather go home to you every day, wake up with you every day, build a life with you every day. And then I feel guilty."

She nodded. "I know. I do." She looked at him with a steeliness to her gaze. "Here's the other thing, though. If I don't want to do this anymore, if I ever change my mind, I will tell you. I promise you that. You don't have to wonder or worry. I promise I will be honest. And I need you to do the same."

"Of course I…." She put her hand up to stop him.

"You can't do this again though. You can't doubt me like this again. I would never do that to you. I would never be passive-aggressive about us, you can be sure of that." She gave him a look, as though she understood that's what he was getting at home. "There will be times when I'll want a male escort to an event and I promise that in the future I will tell you first. But you can't ever lose control like that again." He swallowed hard as she sat back. "The easy thing to do would be for us to walk away. It would be simple. Not clean, because there are feelings involved, but there would be no more wondering or worrying, no more trying to figure things out. Because this is hard. You and I both know it. We got fooled a little bit, in the beginning, because it was just you and me, no real complications. But now it's hard and we have choices and the easier thing – the smarter thing – would be to choose to walk away."

He felt like there was a vise around his chest. He cleared his throat. "Is that…" – he choked on the words – "is that what you want?"

She looked at him for a moment and then shook her head. "I don't. But you can't make it easy to make that be the choice, Chip. You just can't." He nodded, unable to speak. Then she leaned forward and put her hands on his face, pressing her lips against his. She bit down gently on his lip and he opened his mouth to her, pulling her closer, tasting her mouth, battling her tongue with his. When she finally pulled away, she looked at him and bit down on her own lip. "Can you stay a little while?" she asked, her voice smoky with desire.

He looked at her and nodded, then smiled. "Yeah, I can stay a while," he murmured, and took her back into his arms.

* * *

She was reclining on the bench, a blanket wrapped around her, her hair in messy waves around her face and shoulders, as she watched him get dressed. He looked at her and she smiled. "I missed you," she said.

He stopped buttoning his shirt and leaned down to capture her mouth in a long, languid kiss. "I missed you too," he said against her lips. Then he straightened up, finishing the buttoning. He slid on his jacket, then sat down next to her. "Big day tomorrow," he said, with a smile.

She smiled back. "Yeah. Deacon and Maddie at her open mic, then Deacon and Teddy getting into a fight." She bumped her shoulder against his. "You know, as much as I don't love this paternity storyline, I will say you and Lennon doing this scene together is awfully sweet. I do really love how they're figuring out their new relationship."

He took a strand of her hair in between his fingers and rubbed them together. "Look, Connie, I'm really sorry. I know I was a jackass about everything."

She smirked and nodded. "Yes, you were." She put her hand on his leg and rubbed it. "Not the Chip Esten I know at all." She looked down, then back up, a serious look on her face. "Look, I know it's all a lot of uncharted territory here. For both of us. You get jealous. I get jealous." She sat forward, clasping the blanket close to her. "We love each other. That I know for sure. I see it in your face, in your eyes. I feel it in the way you touch me and the way you hold me. And I love you the same. I've never felt this way before and I really don't want either one of us to screw it up."

He leaned in and kissed her. "Me either." He took a long look at her, then sighed. "I gotta go."

She nodded. "I know. I'll see you tomorrow."

He kissed her again, then stood up. "See you tomorrow, baby." She smiled and then he turned and walked out.

* * *

When he got the script for the next episode, he couldn't wait to talk to Connie about it. She was filming and he was at the studio recording a song for that episode, so it was a couple days in before they were both on set at the same time. He wandered over to Rayna's kitchen and stood off to the side, watching her and Judith. While she was getting ready for a retake, he caught her eye and smiled and she gave him a shy smile in return. He loved watching her do a scene. He had always liked playing off of her when they had scenes together, but getting to watch her with someone else felt like an acting lesson.

When they finally finished the scene, they walked off together. Judith gave him a big bear hug. "Hey there, Chippie," she said with a big smile. "I haven't seen you in a coon's age."

He grinned. "They don't want Tandy killing poor Deacon," he said, glancing over at Connie.

Judith patted him on the arm. "That very well could be." She turned and looked at Connie, then back at him. "I'd love to hang around, but I have an appointment at the Escape Day Spa."

Connie grinned. "Ooh, that sounds fabulous. I need to join you there one day."

"Yes, you should," Judith said, then she started towards the back of the studio. "I will see y'all in a couple days for Music City Fest or whatever it is." She waved with both hands, then turned and headed out.

He looked back at Connie. "You ready?" She nodded. "Let's go." He waited for her and then fell in step with her as they headed for the trailer farm. "You got any more scenes today?"

She nodded and gave him an apologetic smile. "Luke. In my kitchen."

He rolled his eyes. "At least it looks like he's going away."

"It does look that way, doesn't it?" She looked up at him. "I know he's just recurring and it feels like he's blowing Rayna off, but I'm not sure he's gone for good."

"Do you know something?"

She shook her head. "Just a feeling." She looked around. "We can talk in my trailer." They walked the rest of the way in silence until they got to her trailer and shut the door behind them.

He wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her on the neck. She turned her head back towards him and smiled, putting her hand over his, as she leaned against him. "So tell me more about that feeling," he murmured.

She took his hand and led him to the bench, where they sat. She shrugged. "I don't know. I just feel like they're not ready for Deacon and Rayna to explore anything just yet. I mean, they have that lovely moment at the festival and then he gets a call from the _lawyer_." She rolled her eyes.

He laughed and then raised his eyebrows. "Still jealous, huh?"

She gave him a side-eyed look. "It's really not being jealous. I just feel like they don't trust that they can write a solid relationship between two people who are really in love and really flawed." She sighed. "I wish they'd never come up with the idea of the 'secret baby'." She made air quotes and rolled her eyes. "Look, Lennon is a sweetheart, but I wish they'd left it with the two younger girls, so there was no question of this big secret. I understand there was more drama this way, but it just, you know, takes away from what the show was supposed to be about."

He nodded. "The music business."

"Yes. The music business. Isn't there drama enough in the legendary country star being chased by the young upstart who wants to knock her off the pedestal? And the young duo who are like Deacon and Rayna reincarnated? And the redemption of Avery. Oh, and the gay artist. I mean, there's so much richness just with that. And the making of music and the ups and downs of radio play and tours and all that." She sighed. "I would have loved to see Rayna and Deacon go out on that small, intimate tour and see how they managed that. And the tug of the old love they have for each other. How Rayna reacts to that when she has a family at home." She made a growling noise. "I'm frustrated."

He nodded. "I can tell."

"Well, doesn't it bother you? I love the idea of Deacon trying to make it on his own again, that dream he came to Nashville with maybe finally being in his grasp. So there's another great, rich story about the music industry. The guitar legend, the songwriting master who finally steps back out on the stage." She smiled slyly. "And the fact that he's sexy hot doesn't hurt."

He chuckled. "Sexy hot, huh?"

She raised her eyebrows. "You are. You know that." She reached out and ran her hand down his cheek. " _I_ think you are, anyway."

He leaned in and kissed her. "As are you, my dear," he said with a smile.

She brushed his cheek with her thumb and smiled softly. "I love you," she said.

He slid forward and pulled her into his arms. "I love you too," he said, pressing his lips to hers. "How much time you have?" he whispered.

She laughed softly. "Enough." Then she pushed back and started unbuttoning his shirt.

* * *

He started for the door. "Hey," she said, and he turned around. She walked up to him and put her arms around him. "I can't help but think about the fact that we only have two more weeks. Actually, not even that." She held onto him tightly. "I've kinda gotten used to how things are and now we'll be completely apart for a month."

He nodded. "You going to LA?" he asked.

She put a hand on his chest. "Yeah." She looked into his eyes. "You staying here?"

He shook his head. "Not the whole time. Going to the beach for ten days with her family. Going to my mom's for Christmas proper." He leaned in and kissed her. "I'll call. Text."

She sighed. "I'll miss you."

He grinned. "We still have two weeks, baby. And I gotta song to play for you."

She smiled then. "Can't wait to hear it. When?"

"Soon. Before I go." He kissed the tip of her nose. "Promise." He bit down on his lip. "I gotta go," he said reluctantly.

"I know." She kissed him, lingering a little, and he pulled her close. When she finally let him go, she smiled sadly. "I'll dream about you tonight."

"And I'll be dreaming about you." He kissed her again and then she let him go. He ran his hand over her hair, tucking it behind her ear, and then he turned and walked out.


	22. Chapter 22

_A/N: I was going to post this last night, but as I read through it, I really hated the way I ended the chapter, so I got an idea today and wrote it up. Hope you enjoy!_

The last several days of filming before the winter break were scenes along the riverfront for the Music City Festival. There were a lot of nighttime scenes, with several performances, and daytime set up scenes. While any filming day could be long, days where they were on location were usually particularly long. To take advantage of nighttime filming, the shooting schedule could run until after midnight. The daytime filming was occurring both before and after the nighttime work, but he had scenes all three days. Rather than drive back and forth every day, he planned to stay in a hotel the second night. Patty had pushed back, but in the end decided it wasn't the fight she wanted to have. Especially after he showed her his call sheet.

He had no scenes with Connie except for one after Deacon's performance. They were both filming during the daytime scenes but he hadn't seen her yet that day. He reached for his phone and called her. "Hey," he said when she answered. "Where are you?"

"Oh, over here by this stage. Somewhere." She laughed. "Where are you?"

"Over in the empty parking lot. Which will later become a stage." He looked down at the asphalt and dragged his heel across it. Then he looked up towards the skyline and squinted against the light. It wasn't particularly sunny, but it was still very bright out. "So I'm staying downtown tomorrow night. Since I got so many scenes, it just seemed easier to do that."

"Oh. Well, that does seem smart."

"Well, with late filming, then early filming again the day after, seemed like a good idea. Which means you could call me."

"Yes, I could."

He smiled. "Will you?"

She laughed. "I will."

He heard footsteps behind him then and turned to see her walking towards him. "Hey, I gotta go. A very sexy lady just showed up." He disconnected and slid his phone in his pocket as she came to stand in front of him. He grinned. "Hey there, very sexy lady."

"Hey yourself, very gorgeous man." She leaned in and bumped his shoulder. "How about walking me over to craft services."

"I can do that."

* * *

He pushed the pillows on the bed back against the headboard so he could sit up. As always, he was a little wired after the long day of shooting. He knew he needed to get some sleep – he had an early call the next morning – but he also wanted to talk to Connie. She'd still been shooting when he left, so he'd sent her a text asking her to call when she was on her way home. He closed his eyes.

He must have dozed off because he was startled by the buzzing of his phone. He reached for it and smiled, seeing it was Connie. "Hey there," he said. "You leaving?"

"Were you sleeping?" she asked, not answering his question.

"Not really, but I guess I dozed off for a second. So you leaving?" he asked again.

"Actually I'm standing down near the elevator in your hotel, thinking maybe you'd let me come up," she said, her voice lowered.

He sat up straight. "Absolutely," he said, a smile crossing his face.

"So, what room?" she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Oh, right." He reached for the envelope with the key in it and looked at the room number. "814."

"I'll be right up," she said and disconnected.

He jumped out of bed and pulled on his jeans and then waited for her. When the knock came at the door, he opened it immediately and she looked a little surprised. "Hey," he said, running his fingers through his hair, and smiled. She smiled back and walked in, which is when he noticed she had an overnight bag. He closed the door and turned to look at her. "You're staying?"

She shrugged and smiled. "If that's okay."

He took the two steps to close the gap between them, putting his arm around her waist and pulling her in for a kiss. "It is _so_ okay," he murmured against her lips. She dropped the bag and put her arms around him, letting herself fall into the kiss.

When they stepped back from each other, she looked him up and down, then let a little smile play over her face. "Do you normally go to bed in your jeans?" she asked.

He made a face, laughing. "No, I don't. But you know, answering the door and what not."

She reached for the waistband and unbuttoned the button. "I think maybe you should take them back off," she said, looking up at him.

He unwound the scarf that was draped around her neck. "Only if you take your clothes off too," he said.

She let go of his jeans and took the scarf and pulled it off, letting it drop to the floor. He slid his hands just inside the jacket she was wearing and pushed it off her shoulders and down her arms, until it landed on the floor as well. Then he pulled her shirt up and over her head and she reached for his zipper. He leaned down to kiss her, laying his hands on her hips. "This is taking too long," she whispered into his mouth and he chuckled. They hurriedly pulled off the last of their clothes, laughing as they did and then he chased her to the bed, crawling under the covers and tickling her. "Chip, stop!" she cried out, tears rolling down her face as she laughed. "Please stop!"

He did, pulling her closer to him. He ran his hands down her waist and she flinched. He grinned. "I'm done tickling you, I promise," he said, pressing his lips on hers.

She wriggled out of his arms and turned onto her side, away from him. "I know you have to get up early, so we should go to sleep," she said, snickering just a little.

He fitted himself behind her and reached his hand around to cup her breast. "I can get away with a little tired look," he murmured against her neck, his fingers tweaking her nipple. She made a noise that signaled she liked what he was doing. He kept tweaking and tugging until she started moving her hips in lazy circles against him.

"That feels good," she whispered, and he wasn't sure if it was what he was doing to her nipple or how his erection felt against her ass. In truth, it didn't matter. He moved his hand then down to her leg, lifting it so it would hook behind him. Then he slid his hand down between her legs.

"Mm, baby, you feel ready for me," he groaned, as he felt how wet she was. He pressed one finger inside her and she moaned, moving her own hand down to cover his. He closed his eyes as he slid his finger in and out of her, until he could no longer wait. Then he put his hand on her hip and adjusted her so that he could enter her from behind.

"Oh, God, Chip," she moaned, as he slowly pushed inside her. She rocked her hips back and forth, making little noises as she took him in. "Oh, Chip, fuck me hard," she whispered.

"You sure?" he whispered in her ear.

"Yes, please," she said softly, and he did. As much as he loved giving her what she asked for, he loved that she'd asked for it, and he loved how much she obviously enjoyed it, as she cried out in pleasure over and over again.

When they were both spent, she turned in his arms to face him, running her hand over his cheek. "You're amazing," she said, with a tiny smile.

He kissed her. "You're the one who's amazing," he replied. Then she put her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and fell quickly into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

As he drove, he called Connie and put her on speaker. "Hey there," she said when she answered. "This is a surprise."

He grinned. "I'm headed to Starbucks and no one wanted to come along."

She laughed. "Maybe they thought everyone had left town."

"I may have said something to that effect. So I think I need to do a little shopping on my own later and I realized I still needed to play my song for you."

"Well, yes, that's true."

"Is it also true that you actually _haven't_ left town yet?"

"That is also true. Do you want to come here?"

"I would, but I'm afraid you might tempt me to overstay and I think that might not be the best thing to do. No sense raising anyone's antenna." He smiled to himself. "Although I would want to. Overstay, I mean."

She laughed. "So what did you have in mind?"

"It's supposed to be a nice day. Can you meet me at the river?"

"I can do that. Jessie would probably watch Yoby for me. When?"

"Can we be a little fluid on that?"

"Um, yeah, I think so."

"You sure? You can ask first if you want."

"Let me do that and I'll text you."

"Sounds good."

"Oh, and Chip?"

"Yeah?"

"No whip on your coffee." He laughed. She was always teasing him about food. "I'll see you soon."

"Love you," he said, and disconnected.

* * *

He was waiting at the river when he heard her footsteps. He was sitting on a stump and turned to watch her as she came into view. She was wearing her Dartmouth sweatshirt and jeans, along with a pair of well-worn boots. Her hair was down around her shoulders, just how he liked it. She smiled as she approached him. "Hey there," she said, leaning over to kiss him. She looked around. "Where should I sit?"

"Anywhere you like."

She found a grassier area and sat, crossing her legs and looking up at him expectantly. "So this is a Rayna song?" she asked, with a smile.

He shrugged and then nodded. "Yeah, it is. Sort of. It's really a Connie song though."

She laughed. "I thought all the Rayna songs were for me."

He smiled. "They are. But this one is really more for you."

She looked pleased. "Okay. Great!" She looked up at him, waiting, and he strummed a few chords on his guitar before he started the song.

 _Workin', grindin' - same old song / Dreamin' about you all day long / Home at last alone with you / You ask me what I wanna do_

 _I wanna take your hand / I wanna slowly dance back to our room / And honey, when our dance is through / I wanna dream with you_

 _Southern sunlight in your hair / Beside you in the sand somewhere / Salty sweet tequila kiss / Starts out warm and it ends like this_

 _I'm gonna take your hand / We're gonna slowly dance / Back to our room / And honey, when our dance is through / I wanna dream with you_

 _I wanna dream with you / All spooned up tight in the middle of the night / Moon lightning in the window /Dream with you_

 _Our bodies entwined 'til we find we just drift away / Where the sweet wine flows and our troubles won't grow / By an ocean that's oh so blue / 'Til all our dreams come true / I wanna dream with you_

He stopped and waited, setting his guitar aside. She'd sat through the whole song, rapt with attention, her eyes glistening just a little. He was holding his breath, hoping she'd like it. She put her hands in front of her mouth, almost like she was praying. "Chip, that was beautiful," she said. "Thank you."

He smiled. "Someday, I want that to be us," he said.

She nodded and then she got up from where she was sitting. She walked over to him and put her hands on his face, drawing him in for a kiss. "I wanna dream with you too, my love," she whispered. He pulled her down onto his lap, his arms around her waist, hers around his neck, and they kissed again. He felt like he was almost drowning in it, but he didn't want to stop. He slid one hand under her sweatshirt, just so he could feel her skin.

When she pulled her lips from his, he could feel the dampness in his eyes. He bit his bottom lip. "I hate leaving you," he said.

She gave him a little smile. "It's not like it's forever," she said.

He tried to smile back. "Feels like it." He took a deep breath. "One day, I promise…."

She put a finger over his lips and shook her head. "As much as I'd like to talk about a future, I'm just not sure we should. Not now. We're just living each day as it comes, being present with each other. I think that's how it has to be." He nodded. She was right. Thinking too far ahead just made things harder. She kissed him softly. "I love you. You brighten every day for me." She smiled. "When I wake up and I know I'm going to see you, it's the best day of my life. And while I'm away from you, I may not dream _with_ you" – she rubbed his cheek with her thumb – "but I'll be dreaming _about_ you." She sighed. "I think you're right that I would have tried to tempt you to overstay."

He smiled, running his fingers up and down her back. "I would probably have given in to the temptation. It's pretty hard for me to ever say no to you."

She gave him a quick kiss, then stood up. "And now you need to go shopping, right?"

He breathed out and stood as well. "Yep, I do." He reached down and closed his guitar case, then picked it up. He held his hand out to her and she took it and they walked back the way they had both come, although this time with great reluctance.

* * *

He and Blue headed out to the beach. It was warmer in Florida in the wintertime than the Outer Banks, where they'd often gone, but there was a chilliness to the air that day. He'd put on a jacket before he left and slipped his phone into one of the pockets. He squinted, even with sunglasses, out over the ocean in front of the house. The waves were rhythmic and beautiful. He loved the sound of the water pounding the sand and the smell of salt in the air. Blue was prancing in front of him. He reached down and patted the dog on his head. "Let's go, Blue," he said and started a lazy jog up the beach.

The lack of humidity made running easier and eventually he picked up his pace, Blue loping along beside him. This part of Florida was not as commercial, no high rise hotels or condos, just lots of beach houses and low slung motels. There weren't a lot of people out on the beach, given the coolness of the day, but the sun felt good.

He looked back over his shoulder and could no longer see the house where they were staying. It was one of those big, rambling houses, four stories, balconies on all levels that overlooked the beach. Lots of windows in all the oceanfront rooms, which made for spectacular views. The house was crowded with Patty's family and some of his and it had been a laughter-filled week. He was glad no one else was a runner, except for his son, but he always made it a point to go running before Chase got up. He was a typical teenage boy who slept until noon, which made it easier.

He finally stopped, near the pier, and pulled out his phone. Blue tugged once or twice, then gave up and sat patiently. He scrolled through his contacts and hit Connie's name, lifting his phone to his ear while he waited for her to answer. This time, when she answered, she sounded sleepy. "Hey," she said, her voice soft, a little bit slurred. He could see her, in his minds' eye, the way she looked first thing after she woke up, her eyes looking sleepy, her smile soft, her hair messy around her face.

"Hey there, whiskey lips," he said, with a grin.

She laughed softly. "How did you know I drank whiskey last night?" she teased.

He chuckled. "I could hear it. Listen, I know it's early, but I just wanted to hear your voice."

"It's okay, I don't mind. Yoby had a sleepover last night, so I took advantage of that to sleep in myself."

"You naked?"

She laughed a little self-consciously. "Chip," she murmured.

He was still smiling. "Well, are you?"

"Under my nightshirt I am," she said. He could hear the smile in her voice.

"Then you should think about me, wanting to touch you. Right now. And if I were there, you wouldn't be wearing that nightshirt."

She laughed. "That's true, I wouldn't." She laughed again, that throaty, sexy laugh he loved. "If I'm gonna imagine you touching me, then you should imagine the same thing." And he did, right then, and took a deep breath as he immediately felt aroused by that. "Where are you, by the way?"

"On the beach."

"I hope where no one can see you or hear you."

He looked around. He was still very much alone, although he did see some people a ways down the beach along the edge of the water. "I am. Why? You want me to tell you what I'd do to you if I was there?" He knew she felt shy with respect to talking explicitly about sex, but she didn't mind hearing it.

She laughed a little. "Mm, okay." He could imagine that little blush crossing her face.

He stood looking out towards the ocean, picturing her in his mind. "I'd start by kissing you on your lips, on your neck, behind your ear, down to your shoulder. Then I'd play with your nipples while I watch your face." He heard her make a little noise then and he smiled. "I love watching your face, baby. Your eyes closed and your mouth open just a little. That pink flush on your face. You're so beautiful then, Connie." He closed his own eyes and imagined her face as he'd touch her and he took a deep breath, feeling aroused just from the visual. "Then I'd lick your nipples. You like that, right, Connie?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"I'd make little circles with my tongue. Then suck on those beautiful hard nipples with my mouth." He breathed in again. "How does that feel, baby?"

"So good," she moaned.

Suddenly Blue jerked on his leash and started barking. His eyes flew open and he turned his head in that direction. He cursed under his breath. "Shit."

"What?" She still sounded breathless.

"Patty and the girls. I'm sorry, baby, I gotta go." He disconnected quickly, hating that he had to hang up on her, shoving his phone in his pocket. He breathed in and out, trying to collect himself, as they got closer. He let go of the leash so that Blue could race over to them, hoping that would give him a little extra time to get himself under control. Finally he turned, just as they were approaching, and forced a smile on his face. "I didn't know y'all were coming out," he said.

Patty gave him a steely look. "Clearly," she said, her voice almost shrill. The girls didn't really seem to notice, as they were wrapped up with Blue.

He ignored her, instead walking over and putting his arms around each of his daughters. "Y'all ready to head back?" he asked. "I'm kind of starving." He took Blue's leash from Taylor. "We'll race if you want," he said, looking back and forth between the two of them with a smile. Then he started jogging back towards the beach house, Taylor and Addie falling in with him. He didn't look back at Patty but he could feel her eyes on his back and he knew she'd find the time to question him about what he was doing out on the beach.

* * *

He had successfully avoided being alone with Patty all day and made a point of going to bed earlier than she did. But it wasn't long after he'd gotten in bed and turned out the light that he heard the door open and close, the door shutting a little more firmly than was necessary. He didn't move, didn't speak, just waited.

"Were you calling her?" she asked, her voice low. He wasn't sure, but he thought he caught a hint of hurt in her tone. He didn't answer her. After a moment, she spoke again. "I know what you're doing, Chip." He tensed, feeling his heart racing. "She's all flirty and touchy-feely, trying to act like she's twenty-something instead of her own age. I know you always want people to like you, but you don't need to lead her on." He swallowed hard, his eyes darting around the dark room as he tried to keep his breathing even. "You need to stop flirting back. Don't embarrass us. Or you." He closed his eyes, breathing out slowly.

When he heard her leave the room, he sat up in the bed and leaned forward, pressing the heels of his hands over his eyes, feeling his heart start to slow down. He thought back to the text he'd gotten from Connie earlier. _Are you okay?_ He'd texted back that he was, but for a moment, while he waited to hear what Patty was going to say, he wasn't at all sure he would be going forward.

He took a deep breath as he realized that she probably wasn't going to actually confront him. He wasn't sure what her intentions were, but at least, for the time being, it appeared she would stand down. He thought about what Connie had said. _We love each other. That I know for sure. I see it in your face, in your eyes. I feel it in the way you touch me and the way you hold me. And I love you the same. I've never felt this way before and I really don't want either one of us to screw it up._ Sometimes he wondered if he was walking too close to the edge. He didn't want Connie to get hurt in this, so he'd have to be careful. He didn't want to be the one to screw it up.

* * *

The next day, as he got ready to head out, Chase came down the stairs, yawning. He was dressed to run, but didn't look happy about it. "Mom said you wanted a running partner," he said, as he stretched.

He gave his son a half-hearted smile. "Let's go then," he said, as he put the leash on Blue.

* * *

He found her on the set, after the holidays, as she was waiting for a scene to get set up. "Hey there," he said, as he walked up behind her.

She turned around and smiled. "Hey," she cried, and then she surprised him by hugging him. "I'm so glad to see you."

He gave her a curious smile. "You too." He put his hands in his pockets when she stepped back. "You have a good holiday?"

She nodded. "It was nice. Yoby got lots of toys so he was happy." She laughed softly.

"I bet."

"How was yours?"

He nodded. "Good. Interesting. Long."

She smiled at him. "Yeah, long sums it up." She put her hand on his arm. "Listen, I hope we can have some time, you know, to catch up."

He breathed in, then nodded. "I hope so too. Probably not today though."

She frowned. "No?"

He shook his head. "Got a couple scenes with Christina, then a recording session."

She looked disappointed. "Oh. Well, I'm not here tomorrow."

He chewed on his lip. "Can you meet me in Deacon's living room in a couple hours?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I can do that." She turned when her name was called. She looked back at him with an apologetic look. "I guess I'll see you later then."

He smiled. "Yep. See you later."

* * *

She was waiting for him when he finished the scene. She smiled at Christina as she walked off the set. "Hey, Christina, how are you?" she said pleasantly.

"I'm good." She looked over at Chip and then back. "Are you here to kill me?" she asked with a smirk.

Connie laughed. "Nothing like that." She leaned in, a little conspiratorially. "I think we've had enough of that for this season. At least, I hope we have."

He laughed. "She's too nice to do anything like that, Christina. I think you're safe."

Christina smiled. "Well, you know I'm a huge Deyna fan, so even though I've got him now, I'm rooting for Deacon and Rayna in the end." She raised her hand in a wave. "I'm heading out. See you later."

"Bye," Connie said.

"See you later," he said, then turned back. "You got some time?"

"I do." She followed him back onto the set and they sat down on the couch, facing each other. "How are things?" she asked.

He took a deep breath, wondering how much to share. He'd tried not to complain too much, share too much, because he didn't want to burden her with it. But it was hard not to want to tell her how frustrated he was, because it did impact the two of them. So he shrugged. "It could be better, I guess, but, you know, she kind of stops short. It's just gonna be tough to find a lot of time away from here."

She looked down at her hands. "I don't want things to be tough for you, Chip," she said quietly, then looked back at him. "I know it's important for you to be with your kids – and I understand that – so I don't want you to feel like I'm putting too much pressure on you."

"You don't do that at all, Connie. I just feel like I'm letting _you_ down."

She reached out and touched his hand, then drew back. "You're not. I do wonder sometimes if, I don't know, if we should be doing this. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one who's getting the short straw and then I remember that I'm not…."

He frowned. "Stop." She looked at him with sadness in her eyes. "Is this one of those times when you're telling me you don't want to do this and I'm not supposed to listen to you?"

She shrugged, then gave him a tiny smile. "Maybe." She sighed. "Yes, it is. But the truth is, I don't want to hurt anyone. And I feel like we've already done that. Don't you?" He started to respond, but then he wasn't exactly sure what to say. He felt like if he said he didn't think so it would sound cold and unfeeling. And the truth was, after all, that he was the one who was married, regardless of the circumstances. Then she waved her hand in the air. "I know it's a difficult question to answer. It's impossible really, because there are deep feelings involved. And conflicting feelings. It's messy."

He nodded. "It is that."

"Look, I'm gonna take advantage of an early day to head home and play with my son," she said with a smile. "I know we'll find some time soon." She got up. "I'll see you in a couple days then." He stood up as well. She smiled. 'You know how I feel."

He grinned. "As do you." Then he watched as she walked off the set.

* * *

When he found out they'd been asked to do a special performance to celebrate the music of _Nashville_ , he was excited. The plan was for them to do it at the Ryman, in front of crew and friends and family and fans. It would be filmed and recorded, for both a CD and a special episode. He had stopped by Connie's house on the way home to talk to her about it. "Can I talk you into doing a song with me?" he asked.

She looked nervous. "What?"

"You heard, right? About that show they want us to do at the Ryman?"

"Uh, yeah, I heard about it. But you know I can't do that."

"Sure you can. You've done it before. We can do a song together."

She shook her head. "No. I know you love doing it and most everyone else does too, but I sing for the show, not to perform on stage. That is just not my comfort zone."

He smiled encouragingly. "Connie, it would be great if you could be there. Everyone else except for the Stellas will be there."

"Chip, I can't. You know how I feel about that. It's enough for me to sing in the studio. Please don't ask me."

"The fans would love it." He took her hand. "Come sing with me."

Her eyes flashed in anger and she pulled her hand away. "No," she said firmly. Then she walked around the kitchen island. "Stop badgering me about this."

He was a little surprised at her reaction. "I'm not badgering you. I'm _asking_."

"You _are_ badgering me. You know how I feel about it and instead of just dropping it, you go on and on and on. I swear, Chip, sometimes you're so obtuse." She glared at him.

He was taken aback. "Obtuse? Are you serious?"

"Yes. I'm serious. It's like you live in some fantasy world where you think you can make everything go your way. You don't pay attention to things around you or you just assume people will do what you want."

He put his hands on his hips. "Are you kidding me? All I asked you to do was _sing_ with me."

"And you just assume if you sweet talk me enough that I'll capitulate." She opened the fridge, pulled out a bottle of wine, and poured herself a glass, pointedly not getting a glass for him. "It's like this whole relationship, you know? You just assume I'll go along with everything you want. You never consider how this is for me, how hard it is for me when I stop and think about the fact that I'm carrying on with a married man. You talk about the fans – how would _they_ feel if they knew? And how does it look for _me_ to be doing this?" She took a long swallow of her wine.

He took a deep breath and realized he was shaking. He put his hands on the counter and forced himself not to overreact. "How did this go from you not wanting to sing to this…apparent distaste for our relationship?"

She rolled her eyes. "You just don't get it."

He raised his eyebrows. "Then how about you enlightening me?"

She looked away and huffed. Then she turned back. "I have to take whatever time I can get. Do you know how that makes me feel? I'm supposed to be a strong, empowered woman, able to live my life on my own terms. But I'm hiding in the shadows, waiting for times when you can ditch your _wife_ and have some time for me. I pretend I'm that strong, independent woman but I'm not. I'm in love with a man I can't have, can't be with, can't even acknowledge. But you want me to be on stage with you and pretend we're two fictional people and act out how we feel because it's the only way we can do it."

He felt a little like he'd been hit by a truck. "So, what, you don't want to do this anymore?" he asked.

She put a fist on her hip and took a deep breath. "I don't know what I want. I just know this is eating me up inside."

He wasn't sure what to do. "Do you want me to go?"

"Maybe," she said.

"No, you need to say yes or no." She looked up at him. "I don't want to keep doing this. If you're this miserable…."

"I'm not miserable. I'm mad!"

He spread his hands out. "What am I supposed to do?"

She took a deep, heaving breath. "I don't know!" she cried.

He looked at her for a second, then crossed the distance between them and kissed her, pulling her into an embrace. At first she fought him, but then she suddenly was kissing him back, grabbing the back of his shirt, grinding herself against him.

He picked her up and carried her into the den, where he put her on her back on the couch. He yanked her sweatpants off and hurriedly unzipped his jeans. He lowered himself on top of her and took her roughly, with no preamble, slanting his mouth over hers. He could hear her gasp against his mouth and then she shifted, pressing herself against him, fisting his shirt in her hands.

Suddenly she pulled her mouth from his and cried out in pain and he stopped. "What?" he said, breathing hard, worried about what happened.

Her eyes were wide. "Your zipper," she cried. He kissed her gently and then, together, they pushed his jeans down far enough to solve the problem and then she wrapped her legs around him, urging him on until they both collapsed against each other with their release.

He buried his face in her neck and she squeezed her arms around him. "Chip," she whispered finally, looking apologetic.

He raised his head up to look at her and shook his head. "It's okay," he said.

She put her hands on his face, looking deep into his eyes. "I really do love you," she said softly.

He leaned down and kissed her. "I really do love you too."


	23. Chapter 23

He got to the set early the next day. Even though Connie had stood at her front door and held him close and kissed him passionately, the night before, he hadn't been able to put it aside in his head and it had kept him awake long into the night. She'd never said things like that to him before and he realized he hadn't really considered how conflicted she would feel. She was right – she was a strong, independent woman, with values and beliefs that made her a role model for others – and she was hiding a big part of her life in the shadows. He'd been selfish, thinking mostly about walking a tightrope at home and trying to find time for her and feeling like he was the one who had the more complicated life.

He was surprised to see her sitting on the steps that led up to his trailer. As he walked up, she stood and waited for him. She looked like she hadn't gotten much sleep either and he ran his hand lightly over her back, then put his key in the lock. He opened the door, letting her walk in ahead of him. He followed and closed the door. When he turned back, she was standing with her hands clasped in front of her. "So, I'm sorry I lost control last night," she said quietly. "I felt like I was kind of harsh and I don't even really know why."

He walked up to her and put his hand on her arm, guiding her towards one of the chairs. He then sat across from her. "You don't have to apologize," he said.

"It's just hard, Chip. That part is true. I knew it when I signed on for it, but it doesn't always make it any easier."

He nodded. "I know. It's hard for me too."

She frowned a little. "You say that, but I guess that's what I'm struggling with." She sighed. "I see articles that talk about your long, happy marriage, to your college sweetheart, and everything you went through together, and how wonderful your marriage is…."

His heart hurt with every word she said. "Connie, it's something I have to do. For now."

"Why does everything have to focus so much on that? That's what I don't understand."

He took a deep breath, trying to decide what to say. "Because it's how she sets it up," he said quietly. "It's the price I'm paying so that she doesn't look behind the curtain." He sat forward, his elbows propping him on his legs. She was looking at him intently, her hands clasped together on her lap. "I wish I didn't have to do it, because I know every one of those words hurts you. But it hurts me too, because it's not a real representation of what is." He sighed and looked down at his hands. "I have been lonely for so many years, Connie. Living in the same house with someone doesn't mean you can't be lonely and you can't miss having someone to love." He looked back at her then. "I didn't expect this to happen, between me and you, no more than you did. But that first time we were together, I knew you were the one I'd been looking for. My whole life." He sat up then and put his hand over his heart. "The miracle was that you felt the same way. And I promised myself I'd take care of you and not let you get hurt, but damn if I didn't anyway."

She leaned forward and covered his hands with hers. "Chip, we're in this together. We're both adults and we make our own choices. This was my choice and I made it knowing it could hurt me, even if it wasn't you doing it. I accepted that, but sometimes it's still gonna hurt and be hard. And I probably am gonna take it out on you because, well, there really isn't anyone else. And maybe that's not completely fair." She squeezed his hands and smiled. He turned his hands over and linked his fingers with hers. "I'm so sorry you've had this loneliness. I guess I never thought about that. I suppose it's a different kind of loneliness than just being alone. I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "It's not on you, Connie." He looked at her and sighed. "I'm grateful you're in my life. I'm sorry I forgot the toll it takes on you."

She took her hands from his and placed them on his cheeks, then leaned in and kissed him gently. "I love you. Don't forget that."

He leaned his forehead against hers. "I love you too."

* * *

He, Connie, and the Stella sisters did a walkthrough of the scene where Maddie and Deacon played their song for Rayna and Daphne. The song was going to be used for the episode ending montage, so their part of the scene was relatively small. As they worked through the scene, Deacon and Rayna were to exchange looks as they both watched their daughter perform a song she'd written. He had studied the scene and felt like Deacon was still in a place where he had some residual anger about missing out on being a father. He didn't necessarily feel like Rayna was completely supportive of Deacon's efforts, so he thought the facial expression written into the scene wasn't authentic, and made it more of a frown.

"Hey, stop," Connie said, as soon as he'd done it. She looked unhappy.

He and Lennon sat back. "What?" he said.

She gave him a strange look. "What was that look you just gave me?" she asked.

He waved his hand in front of him. "A frown. I mean, Rayna's still not supporting…."

She shook her head. "No, no, no. This isn't Deacon's scene, this is _Rayna's_. And she's having to watch her _daughter_ with her daughter's _father_ , doing something she had always wished for – raising up kids together in that musical environment. She's watching her daughter sing, write songs, and play guitar, and she's sitting in what could have been that family environment she wanted for her and Deacon, all those years ago." She set her jaw. "Deacon's just amazed at the talent Maddie shows, that's all."

He looked at her and shook his head. "I don't know if I see it that way," he said. "This is the daughter he never knew was his and he's still on the outside." In his peripheral vision, he could see Lennon and Maisy watching them with rapt attention. "He's showing her what the possibilities are."

"We're not there yet, Chip. Deacon's still feeling his way and looking to her for guidance. She's the one who's having to deal with the realities now. At least in this moment. There's that single moment when she's overwhelmed with the what if's and the reality of what she did. It passes, but it's _her_ moment. Can we at least try it that way?"

He shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

* * *

After they had filmed the scene, and watched the playback, he and Connie walked off the set together. "You were right," he said.

She smiled, looking pleased with herself. "Of course I was," she said. "And what was I right about?"

He laughed. "The look. You were right that Deacon just needed to be in awe. It was Rayna's scene." He bumped her shoulder. "One of the many things I love about you. How important it is for the scene to be right, for the integrity and authenticity to be right."

She nodded. "It's not worth doing otherwise." She smiled. "Now I think you should buy me lunch."

He laughed again. "I guess you earned it." He put his hand on her back and directed her towards craft services.

* * *

Sixwire, the band that often performed on the show and was used for Rayna Jaymes' band, invited him to perform with them at 3rd & Lindsley. He'd become good friends with the band members and had also started doing some writing with Steve Mandile. He was especially looking forward to it since Patty couldn't come. It gave him a sense of freedom and a burst of energy.

Before the show started, he made the rounds of the venue, chatting up people he knew. Several other cast members were there, including Eric, and he made sure to stop by and talk with them. He loved the support they gave each other and the way they all seemed to form sort of a family. The main cast were newcomers to Nashville when the show started and they had bonded in that way people did when they didn't know anyone else. Although they were all mostly more tied into the community now, they still retained that familial bond. When he finally went backstage, he pulled out his phone and called Connie.

"Whatcha doing tonight?" he asked when she answered.

"Going over lines, watching Yoby build something."

"Something cool, I hope," he said with a smile.

"I'm not really sure what it is, to be honest. But he's quite caught up in it," she said with a laugh.

"So I was wondering if, maybe, when I get out of here tonight, I could stop by and kiss you good night."

"You're alone?"

"Yep. I mean, I can't really stay, but I could really give you a kiss."

She laughed softly. "I would never say no to seeing you. Or getting a kiss. When do you think you'd get here?"

He thought about that. "Maybe eleven? Maybe a little before? I'll do a little meet and greet after." He tried to do that whenever he was someplace that allowed it. He wanted to do everything he could to promote the show. They normally only lasted thirty minutes or so but he was happy to do them.

"Okay. Why don't you call when you're on the way?"

"I'll do it."

"Well, have fun. I know you'll be awesome. And I'll see you later. Love you."

"Love you too." He disconnected and smiled to himself. It felt good to be in love. He and Connie seemed to be back on a more even keel these days and he liked that feeling.

* * *

The light was on on her front porch. He pulled into the driveway and then ran up the steps. She opened the door before he even got to the porch. "Hey," she said, with a smile.

"Hey." She stepped back and he stepped in, letting the door close behind him. He took her in his arms and pressed his lips to hers. She put one hand on his face and the other around his neck.

She was wearing a t-shirt and yoga pants and he slid one hand under the back of her t-shirt, then down inside the pants, running his hand over the soft skin on her ass. He continued to kiss her hungrily and she responded in kind, pressing herself closer to him.

When they finally pulled away from each other, they were both breathing heavily. She put both hands on his face, looking deep into his eyes.

"I wish I could stay," he said.

"Me too," she whispered.

He kissed her again. "I love you."

"I love you." She smiled. "I'm really looking forward to getting to work with you this episode. I love that Deacon and Rayna are gonna write together again."

He nodded. "Me too. Studio, day after tomorrow. First time in a while together."

She grinned. "I'm actually excited." She held a finger up. "But don't get any ideas."

He laughed. "No ideas." He kissed her again, lingering just a bit. Then he leaned his forehead against hers. "I gotta go."

She put her hand on his cheek. "I know. Thanks for stopping by though. And sweet dreams."

He smiled. "Dreams of you." He kissed her once more, then let himself out and jogged down the steps and back out to his car.

* * *

He was already sitting in the waiting area at the studio when she got there. He watched her as she walked down the hall, her purse in one hand, her phone up to her ear with the other, her hips swaying slightly as she walked. She smiled as she walked up, disconnecting the call. "Hey there," she said, as she sat down next to him. After she'd slid her phone into her purse and set it aside, she took the coffee he held out to her. She took a sip. "Thank you so much for this," she said, taking another sip.

He shook his head. "You don't have to hurry. They're behind."

She slumped back against the back of the couch. "Thank God." She scrunched up her face. "Who's here?"

"JJ and Hayden."

She nodded. "Ah, okay. How behind?"

He shrugged. "Not sure. They'd only been in there a half hour or so when I got here and I've been here, oh" – he looked at his watch – "maybe ten, fifteen minutes."

She turned slightly so she could face him. "So, what are your thoughts on the episode?"

He smiled slightly. "I like that we've got a lot of scenes together," he said.

She nodded. "Me too. I love that we're writing together." She tapped his knee and smiled broadly. "I don't think we've seen them write together, so I love the idea that we get to see their creative process. As a team."

"Yeah, but not for long."

She put her elbow on the back of the couch and rested her head on her fist. "I think that if the lawyer doesn't walk in, things get, um, tricky, don't you?"

He nodded. "I do." He smiled. "Were you thinking about how to play that?"

"I think it's a little flirty, although not too much. But there at the end, when they're talking about how it feels to write together, it's all, you know, filled with this heaviness, the sexual tension just filling up the room."

"And then the mood is broken," he said, with a laugh.

She rolled her eyes. "No kidding. The lawyer has the _worst_ timing, doesn't she?" Then they laughed together. The laughter faded from her face and she looked thoughtful. "At the end, though, at the party, that felt like a huge pulling back."

"Both sides though. I think he's trying to follow her lead, move on with _Megan_." He smirked and she dipped her head a little. He raised his eyebrows. "I could say something about Luke Wheeler being back in the picture."

"She's being cautious."

He sighed. "I don't have a good feeling."

She shook her head. "I don't either, but I guess we'll see."

He let his fingers graze her leg for a moment. "Hopefully there'll be more scenes going forward, even if…."

"Hey, Connie, Chip, y'all ready?" came a voice from behind him. She glanced at him, then gathered up her things and stood up. He got up too and looked at her, noticing a little flush on her cheeks. He gave her a smile, then followed her back.

* * *

When they finished with the song, neither of them had to go to the set. As they walked out, he looked over at her. "You got any time before you have to be home?"

She frowned a little. "It's a little chilly to go down to the river, don't you think?"

He chuckled softly and pulled his keys out of his pocket, dangling them a little. "Actually, I've been writing with this guy – Mark Collie – and he's out of town in Ft. Worth for a few weeks. I told him I might like to use his place to write some while he was gone and he gave me a key."

Her eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

He nodded. "He and his wife split time so the house is empty."

"Where is it?"

"Little place over in East Nashville. Want to follow?"

A smile crossed her face. "Yes, I would."

* * *

He kissed her and then she made a face. "That bad?" he asked, with a laugh.

She stuck out her tongue at him. "No, silly. The kiss was fine, it's this blanket. It's a little scratchy." They were wrapped up in a blanket on the couch in the Collie's living room. She had felt uncomfortable with using one of the beds, since they really were sort of crashing.

"You want me to find something else?"

She looked thoughtful. "I don't know." She moved a little and made another face. "Well, maybe."

He moved from underneath her. "You weren't complaining five minutes ago."

She laughed. "Five minutes ago, you were doing something incredibly wicked to me with your fingers and I couldn't think about anything else but that."

He reached his hand down between her legs. "You mean like this?" he said, with a grin.

She pushed his hand away. "Stop," she said, still laughing. "See if there isn't something more…soft, or something."

He got up from the couch and she looked up at him. He gave her a cheeky look, flexing his chest and pumping his arms and she covered her face as she laughed. "You think this body's funny?" he asked.

She smiled gaily. "Not even a little bit," she said, with a wink. She flicked her hand at him. "Go! Hurry! This thing is getting itchier by the second."

He crossed over to one of the guest bedrooms and found a quilt folded at the end of the bed. He picked it up and carried it back out to the great room. He held it out. "This look better?" he asked.

She sat up, letting the blanket fall away, and grabbed at the quilt. "Yes!" she cried. He let her have the quilt and he pulled at the edge of the blanket and yanked it out from underneath her. She backed up to the back of the couch and stretched out, holding one arm out to him. "Come on." He laid down next to her, and together, they pulled the quilt around them and then wrapped their arms around each other.

He kissed her. "Better?" he asked.

"Much," she responded, with a smile. She reached up and scratched at his chin with her fingers. "I must admit though, you looked quite adorable striking a pose."

He smirked. "Adorable, huh?" he teased. He slid his hand down to her waist and started tickling her.

"Stop! Oh my God, Chip!" she squealed as she laughed and squirmed, trying to get away from his tickling fingers. He finally stopped, letting his hand slide up her back, leaning in to kiss her. Her arms snaked around his neck and then he flipped her on her back underneath him and he pushed inside her once again.

* * *

He followed her into the guest room, where she folded the quilt and laid it on the end of the bed. When she turned around, he took her in his arms and she linked hers around his neck. "Nice afternoon," he said, rubbing his nose against hers.

"Mm hm," she murmured. "Too bad we can't tell your friend thanks."

He grinned. "I can tell him thanks, but he'll think it's just for letting me write here."

She kissed him. "Are you really writing here?" she asked, a slightly cynical look in her eye.

He nodded. "Yeah, I am. He actually was my co-writer on 'Dream With You'." He brushed her lips with his. "We've got another one too. And we'll write more, I'm sure."

She smiled. "Okay. I won't feel so bad about this then."

"Maybe we can do it again," he said.

"Maybe we can." He kissed her one last time and then they walked out, hand in hand, got in their separate cars and drove back to their separate lives.

* * *

 _I want to see you. I need to see you._ He jabbed hard at his phone to send, his frustration bubbling over. This was the second episode they were filming where he and Connie had no scenes together at all. They had not even been on set much together, which left very little time to see each other. There were times when he wondered if Patty had talked to someone, gotten them to make sure their schedules rarely overlapped and didn't allow for any time to get away together.

His phone buzzed and he looked down. _I know. Me too._ He sat back against the couch in Deacon's living room. _You on set today?_ he asked. _Four_ , she texted back. He was done at one, assuming there were no extensive retakes. _Collies? At two?_ He waited. _Yes!_ He smiled at her response and put his phone away.

* * *

She was sitting on the front stoop when he got there. As he approached, she stood, smiling. He jogged up the walk and then up the steps to where she stood. She put her hands on his waist and he leaned in for a kiss. "Hey," she said.

"Hey," he replied. He stepped up onto the porch with her and then walked over to open the door. He looked around as he let her in, but he didn't see any movement on the street.

She walked into the middle of the room and turned back to face him. "When do you need to be home?" she asked.

He smirked. "Now." He shrugged. "But I'm gonna be late, it looks like."

She smiled and shook her head, then set her purse down on the fireplace hearth, taking off her jacket and the fedora she was wearing. "I won't keep you too long then," she said.

He walked over and put his arms around her. "It'll take as long as it takes," he murmured against her lips.

She leaned her head back and put a finger across his mouth. "Well, I need to probably leave in an hour, so it can't take too long."

"I guess I should get that nice soft quilt then."

She laughed. "I think you should."

When he returned, they quickly undressed, and she started to lower herself onto the couch. But he grabbed her hand and turned her to face him. "Can I tell you how beautiful you are?" he said softly, tracing a finger along her shoulder and then down to her breast. She bit her lip and blushed a little. He then trailed his finger down across her chest and abdomen, settling between her legs. She made a little noise. He leaned in so his face was almost touching hers. "You feel so good right here," he whispered, letting his fingers tease her there.

She gripped his arms. "Oh, Chip," she moaned.

He moved so that his lips were against her ear. "One or two, Connie?" he whispered.

She moaned again. "One," she whispered, her voice so quiet he almost couldn't hear her.

He smiled a little. "Hm," he said, as he inserted two fingers inside her. She gasped. "I think you said two, right, Connie?"

She squeezed herself around his fingers. "Yes," she whispered. He put his other hand at the small of her back, drawing his fingers in and out as she clung to him, whimpering with pleasure.

He curled his fingers inside her and she drew in a ragged breath. "This feels just right, doesn't it, Connie?" he said, as he touched her right where he knew she liked it most.

"Oh God, Chip," she moaned and he could feel her tense up.

He removed his fingers and looked at her. "Not yet," he said, with a tiny smile. He gently pushed her down onto the couch and then lowered himself on top of her. Her eyes were half-closed, her mouth slightly parted. "You want me, Connie?" he asked.

She opened her eyes fully. "Oh, yes," she said.

"You ready for me?" She nodded. "Tell me."

She breathed in and out. "I'm ready for you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

She nodded. "Please fuck me, Chip," she said softly. "Please do it now."

He smiled. "Since you asked me so nice," he said, and he eased himself inside her, as she rocked her hips against him. "How 'bout I do it a little rough?" he whispered in her ear.

"Yes," she gasped. He gripped her hips and pushed hard into her, over and over, as she cried out with her need, begging him to go harder, go faster. And then finally, when they were both spent, she let her legs drape over his and she pressed her mouth against his shoulder, and they both were breathing hard. Finally, she looked into his eyes. "I needed that. So badly."

He nodded. "Me too." He breathed in. "I hate not being on set with you. It's what it feels like when you're not here."

She ran her hands over his back. He laid his head on the pillow behind her head and turned his face towards hers. He wished he never had to let her go.

* * *

He was furious as he stormed off the set. He walked swiftly across the back lot, forcing himself to smile and respond to everyone he saw, but he was focused and didn't stop, as he usually would. He got to her trailer and he stomped up the steps and opened the door, walking in with a frown on his face, so single-mindedly focused that he didn't stop to look around. "What the fuck, Connie?" he shouted.

She was standing in the middle of the trailer, her hair pulled up on top of her head, wearing one of Deacon's old flannel shirts and a pair of shorts. He could see the shock and horror on her face and then he trailed his eyes over to where Lennon and Maisy were sitting at the table with Yoby. He took a deep breath then, one hand on his hip, the other covering his mouth as he realized how potentially exposed he'd left them. The good news was that it was the girls and not someone like Clare or Judith, who would have known immediately the nature of their relationship.

She scowled at him then. "How dare you just walk in here like that," she said, her voice steely. "What in the world has gotten your undies in such a bunch?"

He took a deep breath. He could see Lennon and Maisy still staring at him. "Rewrites," he said, firmly, getting his emotions in check. "Taking out that confrontation between Deacon and Teddy." It was a complete lie, but he needed to get out of this until the girls left.

She looked confused. "What?"

He spread his hands out. "They took it out. Did you know that?"

She screwed up her face. "I have no idea what you're talking about. And why you think I'd know anyway is a mystery to me."

He raised an eyebrow and made quote marks. "Co-executive producer?" he said.

She waved him off. "I have no power, Chip, you know that. None. As far as the writers are concerned anyway." She turned back towards the table where the girls were. "Hey, girls, I need to get Yoby down for a nap, okay?"

They both nodded, looking a little confused still. "Sure, we'll see him later," Lennon said, getting up and heading for the door, Maisy trailing behind her.

When they reached him, he smiled at them and ruffled Maisy's hair. "I'm sorry, y'all. I didn't know you were here," he said.

Maisy shrugged. "It's okay." She frowned playfully and waggled her finger at him. "But no more bad words."

He laughed. "Duly noted." He watched as they walked out the door, closing it behind them. When he turned back around, Connie was putting Yoby down on the daybed. He took the time to compose himself, breathing in and out slowly.

She finally turned around and headed back towards him, her face carefully neutral. When she got close to him, her eyes narrowed. "You need to be careful," she whispered firmly. "That could have been…."

He raised his hands up. "Clare or Judith. I know. I'm sorry." He put his hands on her arms.

She stood for a moment, glaring at him, then finally raised up on her toes and planted a kiss on his lips. "So what are you so pissed off about, my love?"

He frowned then. "I found out Will Chase is staying. Did you know that?" She looked away from him. He put a finger under her chin and turned her back to face him. "Did you?"

He could see the wheels turning in her head and finally she sighed. "I just found out myself. Callie and Dee really, really like him. And Luke and Rayna together."

He gently squeezed her arms. "Really? You kidding me?"

She put her arms around his waist then. "No, I'm not kidding. I wish I were."

He slid his arms around her shoulders and pulled her up against him, resting his chin on the top of her head. "So you think the two of you have this great chemistry?" That's what he'd read online. How Callie and Dee thought Will and Connie had such amazing chemistry and that was why they were keeping him on.

She pulled back to look up at him. "I like Will, Chip. A lot. Do I think Luke and Rayna have chemistry?" She shrugged. "I'm not really feeling it like they seem to. But Will's a great guy. You know that." She gave him a teasing smile. "Besides, you have Christina."

He shook his head but he couldn't help smiling a bit. "And you've been all up my ass about her."

She gave him a light smack on the butt and grinned. "I have not."

He widened his eyes. "Oh, yes, you have. You've been unbelievably jealous, young lady."

She made a face. "I am _not_ jealous."

He laughed out loud. "Which is why you don't hover around the set when we're filming together. And why you get all worked up over our sex scenes or even when we just have to kiss. _That's_ because you're not jealous. And not making sure she doesn't get what's yours."

She raised up her shoulders and rubbed herself against him. She reached down with one hand and grabbed him between his legs. "And don't you forget it, my love," she said. He groaned as he felt himself get hard.

He leaned into her ear. "You're gonna have to do something about that now, you know that," he whispered. He looked over her shoulder towards the bed where Yoby was now asleep. "Can you be really quiet and not wake him up?" He started to back her up towards the wall.

She gasped. "I can't do that with him right here," she said.

"Bathroom?" he said.

She turned her face to his. "Bathroom." She turned out of his embrace and, taking his hand, led him quietly down to the bathroom, pulling him in and shutting the door tight. She looked at him, standing behind her, in the mirror, and then shimmied her shorts and panties down to the floor. She bent forward over the sink, her hands on the counter propping her up. "Hurry," she said urgently.


	24. Chapter 24

_A/N: I'm sorry it's taken so long to post, but work has seriously gotten in the way. I will do my best to post more often, but it will depend on how things go. In any case, I promised myself I'd get a chapter posted today, so here it is! Hope you enjoy!_

He was reading through his lines when there was a knock on his trailer door. He set aside his glasses and got up to open it. He was surprised to see Connie there. "Hey there," he said, stepping back. "Come on in."

She walked in past him, patting him on the chest. "I thought maybe we could talk a little about what's coming," she said. He knew what she meant. They would be headed out to the river house in a couple days to film several scenes, including a pretty emotional scene between Deacon and Rayna.

He watched as she curled up in one of his chairs and went to sit across from her. "Sure. I think it'll be pretty intense."

She shook her head. "That's not what I meant, although you're right. It will be. I'm not sure I think Rayna's on the right side of it completely, but she has strong feelings about protecting her child." She sighed. "No, I think we're headed towards them not putting Rayna and Deacon together."

He nodded. "Well, we sorta figured that when they made Will a regular."

"Yes, we did. But I really think it's more than that." She looked away and picked at the hem of her shirt. "I've made my case that I think they need to put Rayna and Deacon together, that it's time for them to figure things out, instead of putting her back on that same track as with Teddy."

"You think they'll listen?"

She shook her head. "I really don't. And it's really bugging me. It's bad enough we have to deal with this whole paternity nonsense. I mean, it still bothers me that they undercut Rayna's integrity and authenticity by having her lie about something like that for thirteen years."

He made a face. "I don't know. Deacon was kind of a mess back then. Rayna was doing the best she knew how. It wasn't ideal, I agree, but…."

She shook her head and smiled. "You forgive too easily. Both you _and_ Deacon."

He laughed. "Wait, what? I forgive too easily?"

She grinned. "Well, you're just so damn nice all the time. I almost never see you in a bad mood." She waved her hand. "I should qualify that by saying that I almost never see you in a bad mood in the general public." She crossed her arms over her waist and her smile faded. "In all seriousness though, this direction bothers me. I just don't like it. I feel like we're getting farther away from the music and what this show was supposed to be about."

It always worried him when he heard her talk like this. He had learned that she felt passionate about the work, about the authenticity and integrity of it, and that when it was missing, she wasn't as engaged. He also knew she wished they would do shorter seasons, the idea being that they could then concentrate on fewer storylines and up the quality. And, although singing still scared her, she wanted more emphasis on the music and the music business. It was a story she was interested in telling – the vision Callie had had in the beginning – and she felt like they were running off the rails. More than anything, though, was that it made him nervous about her longevity. Yes, they all had contracts, but it worried him a little all the same. He nodded. "I get you. I feel the same. I like that they're exploring Deacon's interest in a solo career, though."

She smiled. "That's a bright spot, for sure. I mean, I can't think of anything sexier than Deacon, a guitar, and a flannel shirt, singing some song he wrote for Rayna."

He grinned and then he stood up. "You want something to drink? Water or something?"

She looked up at him and nodded. "Water's fine."

He walked back to the back of the trailer, where his drink fridge was. When he opened it, he saw it was nearly empty, so he took the opportunity to fill it up before he brought back two bottles of water. When he turned back, she was sitting on the bench along one side, with a sheet of paper in her hands. He walked back and held out the bottle of water. She looked up as she reached for it, a look on her face he couldn't figure out. He frowned. "What's wrong?"

She sighed and he sat down next to her, taking the sheet of paper from her hands. It was some partial lyrics he'd been working on with a couple of the guys from Old Dominion. She reached over and pointed at the words, then looked at him. "Did you write this about me? About us?"

He looked down at the page. The words were handwritten and marked up, cross outs and eraser marks here and there, words written above others to denote they were additions. _It's all right there in the photo album that we made / I guess pictures aren't the only things that fade / Wish we could have stayed forever on that floor / 'Cause we're not the people in those pictures anymore / We say, "I love you" and kiss goodnight / And we act like everything's alright / As we both try to hide what we don't feel._ He bit down on his lip and breathed out. Then he looked at her. "No," he said. "This one's not about you."

He saw the hopeful look in her eyes, then the understanding. "Is that how you feel?" she asked, her voice soft.

He nodded. "You know it is."

"I mean, the part about wishing…."

He shook his head, cutting her off. "No. But I'm writing with a couple other guys, so it's not all my words. It's my story, mostly, but they add a lot to the lyrical sound of it, to the words and the images they create. But it's the story of the end of love and pretending. Whatever the reason is for doing that."

She reached out and slid her hand into his. She gazed into his eyes for a moment, then let a tiny smile appear on her lips. "Then it _is_ for me."

He thought about that. "I guess that's sort of true."

She sat back and opened the bottle of water, lifting it to her lips. When she had swallowed, she looked at him. "I guess what I am wondering, a bit, is what happens when it's time." She tilted her head slightly. "What happens when you can't hide what you don't feel anymore?"

He took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "That's when it ends." He took another deep breath and then let it out. "And that's when we see where we are. You and me."

She sat looking at him, then leaned forward, reaching again for his hand. "It feels like it's gonna be a long journey, kind of like Rayna and Deacon. Not easy, not certain."

He frowned. "What are you saying?"

She shook her head. "Just that. It won't be easy. And it'll be a journey." She lifted her hand and laid it on his face. "And we just see where it leads us."

"Connie…."

She put her index finger over his lips. "Don't, Chip. Just let it happen." Then she got up from the bench. "I need to get to makeup." She leaned over and kissed him, then smiled. "I'll see you in a bit." He grabbed her hand and she looked back at him, then squeezed his hand. He let go and watched as she walked out the door.

* * *

They were at their private place along the river. She had her legs drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them. Her hair was combed back into a ponytail and her face was scrubbed free of makeup. She'd said little since he arrived and he resisted the urge to pepper her with questions or just talk to break the silence.

Finally she looked at him. "I'm surprised you were able to get away."

He shrugged and then crossed his fingers with a smile. "Last minute script changes required rehearsal." Then he sighed. "You needed me. I'll always figure out a way."

She smiled, then tears formed in her eyes, and he knew she was going through that periodic struggle she did, thinking she was a complication. "I'm sorry," she whispered, wiping her eyes. "You know, sometimes I get so angry. We're not on set at the same time often enough. And then she schedules every minute of your time. And she's always there." Her voice was a little strident and he looked away, a lump in his throat. She was right and it bugged him too. She touched his arm then and he turned back to look at her. "I'm sorry. That's not fair."

He shook his head. "Never apologize, baby. Not to me." He sighed. "I wish…." He was going to say he wished things were different, but the simple truth was that they just weren't. It was complicated, but he'd never tell her she was the one who had him all mixed up. He never wanted her to feel like she wasn't his priority, even though he knew sometimes she wasn't sure.

She squeezed his arm and smiled. "You wish you could just tell her. That we're in _love_ and that it's just more than we had expected or planned for. That you're sorry to hurt her, after all this time, but that it was all inevitable. That once in a lifetime thing you weren't expecting or planning for."

He smiled back at her. "That." He nodded.

She moved her hand and laughed softly. "I was being a little facetious."

His smile faded. "I wasn't." He moved over and pulled her into his arms. "That's exactly what I'd like to say. Or something similar." She turned her head to look at him, her eyes filled with sorrow. He sighed. "I hate hurting someone. Anyone. Maybe I shouldn't worry about everyone else…."

"But you do," she said. "It's actually one of the many things I love about you. That you care about people. And their feelings. That you don't want to hurt people. That you're loyal."

He frowned. "But I'm hurting _you_."

She turned slightly in his arms, wrapping her arms around him and draping one leg over his. "I'm strong enough for it," she said. "But I'm also selfish. I want more of you. I _need_ more of you. And I don't know how to wrap my mind around the fact that I can't have it. I know it's not what you want, and maybe that should be enough, but it's just not."

He knew she was right. "So, what then?" he asked, afraid of her answer.

She sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder. "I want to be strong enough to walk away, but I'm just not."

He wasn't sure exactly what to say. _Does she want me to tell her to go? Or to be the one to walk away?_ He wasn't sure he could do either. "I know this isn't fair to you, but I don't want to lose you." He took a deep breath. "Can you wait? A little longer?"

She didn't say anything right away. Finally she sighed. "You know, I've been lucky in my career to have great screen partners and to have great chemistry with them, personally and professionally." She smiled a little. "Except maybe onscreen with Will. That definitely isn't translating onscreen well at all." He ran his hand over her arm. "I remember how sometimes people thought Kyle and I were actually married. Which was funny because he was so in love with his wife and his family and I didn't feel _that_ way about him. At all. He was like a brother to me in a lot of ways. And I loved his wife too. So we were great friends and great together onscreen." She looked up at him. "We have that too, except that I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. My whole world turned upside down. It shows on camera too and I worry about that sometimes, for you mostly. So, anyway, you asked if I could wait." She nodded. "I can. I don't want to lose you. Lose _us_. But I feel like I need to protect you too, you know?"

He held her close, leaning his head on hers, feeling the tears trail down his cheeks. She was the love of his life. He'd known it almost from the start, like she had said. She wasn't a mistress – a word he didn't even like to think, much less say out loud. That made it seem like she was a throwaway, that what they had was tawdry. He had certainly not expected any of this, but he wanted nothing more than to be fully hers. He hated that the complications were on his side and hated even more that they were not easy ones to resolve. There were emotions there too. He loved his children, and so he even felt some love for his wife, although what that looked like had changed over time. It was all just so…complicated. No other word for it.

He breathed in, feeling like the air around them had gotten heavy and dark. He disentangled himself from her and stood up. She looked up at him with a puzzled look on her face and he reached out for her hand. She let him pull her up and then lead her down towards the water. He let go of her hand and took off his boots and she shed her sandals. Then he took her hand again and pulled her into the water.

"Chip, what are you doing? It's cold!" she cried, as he took them farther in than they usually went. When they were in water just over their knees, he dropped her hand and then leaned forward, putting his hands in the water. Suddenly, he lifted them, splashing her with water. She squealed and threw her hands up in the air as though she could prevent herself from getting wet. "Chip!"

Then she gave him a teasing look and returned the favor. It didn't take long before they were mostly wet and then he grabbed her around the waist and carried her out a little deeper, as they both laughed. She started splashing at the water with her feet and he set her down in water almost up to her waist. Then he started to tickle her and she screamed with laughter, begging him to stop. When he finally did, he put his arms around her and pulled her in close, kissing her.

She laughed against his lips. "This was crazy, Chip," she said. "We're both all wet."

He raised an eyebrow and nodded towards the shore. "We could take our clothes off and let them dry while we dry off in the sun."

She gave him a look and laughed. "I'm thinking that's probably not a smart idea."

He breathed in deeply. "I just don't want us to forget to have fun together," he said. "I feel like we get all serious and things just get…heavy. I don't want to forget fun."

She put her hands on his face and pulled him in for a kiss. "Me either. This was exactly what we needed." She held her hands out and grinned. "But we _are_ all wet."

He took her hand, leading her out of the water. "We can sit in the sun until we get dry enough. How 'bout that?" He pulled off his t-shirt and laid it on a stump, then sat in the sun with his legs sprawled out.

She gingerly picked her way over to sit next to him. "We're still gonna be very wet."

He smirked. "I've got dry jeans in the car."

She swatted his arm playfully. "You're terrible," she said.

He laughed. "No. Just prepared."

* * *

It turned into a nice afternoon and things were more lighthearted after the impromptu swim. He got the third degree when he got home, for being gone longer than would have seemed necessary, but he mostly shrugged and made the decision not to engage. It had been worth it though to see Connie laugh and have some fun. It was just what they'd both needed.

* * *

One of the benefits to being in Nashville, and on the show, had been the opportunity to immerse himself in the music culture. He'd been interested in songwriting for a while, and had written some songs in the past, but the chance to work alongside real songwriters was a dream come true. He was starting to be able to write with a broader range of writers and he was hopeful it would lead to something bigger, whether that was some sort of record deal for himself or that another artist would pick up one of his songs and make a hit out of it. A group of cast members were going out on a short tour once filming ended and he saw that as another opportunity to get his music out there, as opposed to just the show's music.

He walked up to Connie, in craft services, and sat down across from her. She looked up and smiled. "So, you look like you have some big news," she said.

He nodded. "I kinda do," he said, with a grin.

She put her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her fist. "Do tell," she said.

"I've got a writing appointment with Deana Carter," he said.

She looked pleased, but also puzzled. "I'm sorry…."

He laughed. Connie was definitely not as tuned into the country music community and she certainly wasn't that familiar with some of the legacy artists. "90s, early 2000s, she was a pretty big deal. She does a lot of writing these days and I'm getting a chance at writing with her."

"Well, that's great. I'm excited for you." She wrinkled her nose. "What's it like to write a song? How do you do it?"

He leaned forward on the table. "It depends on who I'm writing with. Sometimes I've got an idea, sometimes they do. Sometimes nobody comes with an idea and we sort of bounce things around until someone throws out something that sticks."

"Do you write differently with men than women?"

He thought about that. "Not really."

"Do you have an idea of what you want to write with Deana?"

He nodded. "Kind of. Actually she mentioned something about an old relationship, long term off and on, I guess. Lots of back and forth, trying to figure out how to make it work."

She smiled. "Sounds like a country song to me."

"I promise I'll play it for you when we finish."

"I can't wait."

* * *

When he did play it for her, a week later, she actually had tears in her eyes. "You okay, baby?" he asked, a little worried by her reaction.

She nodded. "You know what that sounds like, don't you?"

"What's that?"

"Like a song Deacon would write for Rayna." She smiled a little. "And I don't mean as a cover for a song for me."

He smiled back at her. "I'm glad you said that. Deana had the original idea, but as we wrote it, I realized the exact same thing. And said that to her too. It's everything Deacon would want to say to Rayna right now, to convince her to give up Luke and come back to him. In fact, I'm thinking about pitching it to Callie."

She grinned. "I think you should." She clapped her hands together. "And how amazing would that be for you to have a song on the show?"

"You think it would win Rayna back?" he asked.

"If she hears it, I think that's a definite yes."

* * *

As they were leaving the set, he felt in step with her. "So, I had an idea," he said and she looked up at him with a smile.

"What kind of idea?"

He looked around and then back at her, a grin on his face. "We're filming at Ft. Campbell tomorrow. What about we ride up there together?"

She was quiet as they kept walking, then she looked back at him, a serious look on her face. "I would love to, but, you know. People talk and I think people would say something about that. Don't you?"

He breathed in and shrugged. "Maybe not." She gave him a side-eye and he smiled a little sheepishly. "I guess you're right. But…I do have another idea."

She raised an eyebrow. "Okay," she said, drawing the word out slowly.

"Patty's taking Chase on a college visit this weekend, out to Colorado, and Addie's going with them."

"And you're not?"

He put his hands in his pockets and breathed in. "Well, you know, we're filming late tomorrow and I've got an early call Monday, so it just didn't work out for me to go this time."

She clasped her hands together. "Oh, but college visits are such fun! I remember that time in my life so well. Don't you?"

He shrugged. "I didn't really do that. My folks both went to William & Mary and I sorta always knew that's where I'd go."

She looked thoughtful. "I had no idea, really, where I wanted to go. Except that I knew I wanted to go somewhere where I'd be challenged, intellectually and philosophically. I wanted a smaller school, but it just had to be _me_ somehow, you know?" He nodded. "And when I visited Dartmouth, I just knew. It was the perfect place for me. So I hope he finds that perfect fit too." She tapped his arm then. "And so your idea is?" she asked, a smile on her face.

He shrugged in an exaggerated way and grinned. "I don't know. I guess maybe I could, possibly, spend the weekend with you? Or a lot of it."

She put her hand over her heart. "Oh, Chip. I love that idea. Do you really think you can pull it off?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

"You know what? If I could I would hug you right now."

He laughed. "You'll have to wait for the weekend and then you can hug me all you want."

* * *

He dropped Patty and the kids off at the airport on Saturday morning, then got back on the road. They wouldn't be home until Monday and he was looking forward to the breather. He thought back to the scenes they'd filmed up at Ft. Campbell the day before. It had been an extraordinary experience, performing there, and especially in front of military families. The scenes they filmed were emotional and impactful and he had especially enjoyed the performance with Connie and the girls.

He smiled to himself as he thought about Connie's excitement at the end of the performance. As they often did, they had actually sang on stage, even though the studio vocals would be layered on top when the show was edited. It was not her comfort zone at all, but she had been amazing. She had hugged him when they were done and had whispered in his ear, "I did it!" He couldn't have been prouder of her.

He called her on his Bluetooth. "Hey there," he said when she answered. "Thought I'd stop by Starbucks on the way. You want something?"

"Maybe just a non-fat latte. Small. I don't want to be too jazzed up."

He laughed. "Oh, I think we should get you all jazzed up today."

"I don't know about that," she said, with a laugh. "How far away are you?"

"Just getting onto 440. So maybe a half hour with the coffee run."

"And you're sure you're still okay?"

"Yep. They should be taking off any minute."

"Can't wait to see you then."

He disconnected and smiled the rest of the way to her house.

* * *

When she rolled over the next morning, he held on tight. "No," he murmured, his eyes still closed. He let his hand move up to her breast.

"I need to check on Yoby," she said. She tried wriggling out of his grasp. He slid his hand down her abdomen and she pushed it away. "Chip," she said. She looked over her shoulder and he opened one eye. "Much as I would love to stay here, I need to get up." She smiled saucily. He tweaked her nipple and she bit her lip. "Chip," she said softly.

He leaned in and kissed her on the shoulder, letting her go. "I'll let you go for now, but you owe me something during nap time," he said, with a smirk.

She sat up on the edge of the bed and looked back at him. "I will let you have your way with me during nap time," she said, with a sly smile. She got up and walked over to her closet and he laid back in the bed, his hands behind his head, watching her. _God, she's a helluva good looking woman._

"You want me to pick up breakfast or something?" he asked.

After a moment, she came out of the closet, dressed in yoga pants and a t-shirt. "No, I'll fix something. Yoby just wants oatmeal. Is that okay with you or do you want something else? I have eggs."

"Oatmeal's good."

She opened the door and stood there for a moment, smiling at him. "Okay, I'll see you downstairs then."

After she closed the door, he laid there with his eyes closed, just thinking about how nice it was to wake up here with her. It had been a long time since he'd spent the night at her house and it just felt comfortable. Right. He reached over to the bedside table and picked up his phone. There were no new texts. Patty had texted when they got to Colorado and he had stepped outside and called her. She didn't ask many questions, which had surprised him, but he'd shrugged it off. He rolled over and got out of bed, going to his overnight bag and pulling out some running clothes. After he'd gotten dressed, he jogged down the steps and out to the kitchen, where Connie was sitting at the table with Yoby.

"Chip!" Yoby yelled out, waving his spoon in the air.

He walked over and scrunched Yoby's hair. "Yobes, my man, how you doing?" he said, with a grin.

"Good!"

He sat in the chair on the other side of Connie's son. "You want to go to the river today?" he asked. Yoby loved going down to the river.

"Yes!"

Connie smiled at Yoby. "Maybe we can go after breakfast then," she said. Then she looked at him and frowned. "What are you dressed for?"

He looked down. "A run."

She shook her head. "You can't." He was puzzled. "People know you, Chip. You can't go run in my neighborhood."

He hadn't even thought about that. "Oh," he said. "Well, then, I guess I'm not running."

She got up then and headed for the stove, running her hand along his shoulders as she passed him. "You want breakfast? Then maybe we can head out." She looked over her shoulder at him. "Separately."

He hated this part of being together.

* * *

He let his finger draw lazy circles on her bare abdomen, as they lay in bed together. Her skin had a light sheen to it and he supposed his did as well. They'd just had a pretty steamy lovemaking session that had left them both breathless. He slid his finger up and let it circle her nipple and she shivered just a bit. He pinched it lightly, loving how it got hard between his fingers. She looked over at him and smiled.

"I think I need another minute," she said.

He smiled back. "I can give you a minute," he said.

Her smile faded then. "Have you thought about what could happen if they cancel us?" she asked.

He was a little surprised that she brought it up. It had, of course, been a topic of low key chatter for weeks around the set. It didn't really get talked about out loud, but everyone knew ratings weren't great, that it was an expensive proposition to film in Nashville, and that competition for air time was fierce. They often comforted themselves with the notion that they provided ancillary income through the downloading of songs each week and the sale of the soundtrack CD's. But everyone was tense. "I guess I try to hope for the best," he said.

She reached up and scratched his chin. "Typical Chip. Always looking on the bright side."

"Nothing wrong with that."

"No, you're right." She sighed. "I do think there's a chance though. I know there's been talk, on the network side, about a shorter season."

That was news. "Really?"

She nodded. "Money. Honestly though, I'd be okay with that. I really liked the shorter seasons we had with _Friday Night Lights_. This is a tough grind – you know that – with the long days. Plus I'd like to be able to do some side projects and there's just not enough time. Or not time when they're available."

He knew she'd been contacted about some things, but her work schedule didn't permit it. "How would you feel if we got cancelled?" He knew he'd be terribly disappointed. Not only was this the best job he'd ever had, but it would leave things with Connie in limbo.

She looked up towards the ceiling. "Oh, you know. I've been, um, less than excited about the direction they've taken. From a writing standpoint. Storyline." She looked back at him. "You know." He nodded. He _did_ know, although he didn't always agree totally with her. She looked over at him then. "My agent called me the other day and I'm under consideration for a movie."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Not a big part. Small, kind of indie film. It would film early summer." She smiled. "Up in your neck of the woods. Pittsburgh."

"Really?" She nodded. "Hmm."

She grinned. "Maybe you could visit the old home place."

"Maybe I could." He got serious then. "So what do you think our chances are? Of not getting cancelled?"

"Honestly? Maybe fifty-fifty." She sighed. "I know what you're thinking." She reached over and put her hand on his chest. "The main thing I would miss is you. And it leaves things up in the air."

He breathed in slowly. He didn't even want to think about that. "Well, then I guess we need to take advantage of this while we can," he said, as he rolled over on top of her and kissed her hard.


	25. Chapter 25

_A/N: I hated to leave y'all hanging! Work has been a nightmare, especially this week, so thanks for being patient with me. I hope it won't take as long for the next chapter. Enjoy!_

As he kissed her, he couldn't stop thinking about how her mouth tasted, how her tongue felt as it battled his. He sucked on her lips, feeling like he could just devour her mouth. Her hands slid up and down his back as she kissed him back with the same fervor. He loved how responsive she was, how giving. She slid her knees up and then tipped her hips against him, making a soft little noise in the back of her throat. She slid one hand down between them, positioning him in a way that allowed him to feel just how ready she was for him.

He groaned at the feel of her hand on him. He lifted his head then and looked down at her. She smiled. "I think it's been a minute," she whispered. She moved her hand back to his shoulder and arched her back slightly, letting her knees fall farther apart.

He pushed, watching her face. As always, she almost seemed caught off guard, but then she moved her hips slightly, as he kept pressing in, letting her adjust. He loved how it felt to be inside her, how warm and welcoming she was, how it almost seemed like a tight hug. When he was fully inside her and she had relaxed, he kissed her. "How does that feel?" he whispered against her lips.

She moved her hands to his face, staring back at him. "Fucking amazing," she murmured. "Better than anything I could ever have dreamed up." When she said things like that, he felt a multitude of things. He felt lucky, he felt unworthy, he felt proud to be the one she said them to.

"You're the one who's fucking amazing," he whispered back and she laughed softly. Then he started to move inside her, closing his eyes as he let himself sink into the warmth and the wetness of her. He loved the little noises she made, the way her hands roamed over him, how she gripped his shoulders or his ass or his arms. He loved how she'd kiss him, on his lips, his eyelids, his cheeks, his shoulders, until that moment when she came and then she was gloriously, wonderfully joyful in her reaction.

When they were both spent, he rested his forehead on her shoulder and she linked her arms behind his neck and they both breathed in and out, coming down off the incredible high. "Oh, wow, Chip," she murmured. He lifted his head and looked at her. She smiled up at him. "You just never fail to amaze me," she said.

He smiled back and shook his head. "I'm inspired by you."

She laughed softly, the thick, throaty laugh he loved. "I think it's your curse to be eternally turned on by me," she said, and he laughed out loud.

* * *

He had a very early call the next day, the last day of filming for the next to the last episode, so he left after they had put Yoby down for the night. To do that together felt perfectly right, but it also made him feel wistful. He wished he never had to leave her, that he were stronger and could make the break he needed to make, and that his situation didn't feel so impossible. He knew spending this weekend with her was a gift, one they wouldn't get often, and he felt a knot in his stomach as she stood with him at the front door.

He had his arms around her waist and she lifted her hands to his face. "I needed this," she said.

He nodded. "Me too. I just wish…."

She cut him off by putting a finger over his lips. She shook her head. "Don't. We'll just take what we get and make the most of it." She smiled. "This was just so perfect, you know?" He nodded, feeling tears in his eyes. "Everything about it just felt absolutely right and necessary. I feel all filled up, stronger somehow. It was just what I needed to remind me of what we have. What we'll always have." She ran her thumb under his right eye, capturing a stray tear. "I love that you feel things, Chip. And that you're not afraid to let yourself feel things. It's how I know that this is real."

He smiled and tried to laugh a little, wanting to lighten the mood. "It's all real, baby. You know that." She nodded. "I love you."

She tilted her head back slightly and let him kiss her. "I love you more," she said.

He breathed in deeply. "We get the finale script tomorrow," he said.

She looked away for a second and it made him nervous. Then she looked back. "That we do." She let her hands slide down to his shoulders and she gave him a light pat. "We'll talk."

"We always do." He pulled her in close, putting his hand on the back of her head as she leaned against his shoulder. He breathed in the smell of her hair and then breathed out. "I hate leaving," he said.

"I hate you leaving," she said. She pulled back and looked up at him. "Call me before you go to sleep."

He smiled and kissed her. "I will." Then he sighed and stepped back, picking up his bag. She opened the door and he stepped out. She put her hand on his arm and he turned back and kissed her one last time. Then he walked out onto the porch and down the steps, heading for his car.

* * *

One of the things he'd grown to appreciate, quickly, was Callie Khouri's willingness to listen. The show had been her creation and, although the network dictated many things about storyline and character, she always listened. He'd felt a connection to her from the start. She was the one who'd created Deacon Claybourne, after all, and they had been in lockstep from the beginning about the kind of person he was. He was glad she was the one writing and directing their finale episode. While he left the politicking about story to others, this was something he felt like he could approach her with, and hopefully get her buy in on.

He found her in her office on the set and stuck his head in, knocking on the door jamb. She looked up and smiled. "Hey, Chip. Come on in." She got up from her desk and walked around, giving him a hug.

"You got a quick minute?" he asked.

"Of course. What's on your mind?" She directed him towards a seating area. When they were both seated, he leaned forward. He had brought the script with him, opened to one of the last pages.

"Well, I usually wouldn't do this, but I was reading this scene at the end when Deacon goes to see Rayna." One of the things he appreciated about Callie was that she didn't give away what she was thinking. She was listening, but he couldn't tell how she felt about either what he was saying or what he was referencing. He would probably never know, for sure, if it was her idea to set things up the way they were or not. Even with her name on the script as the writing credit, the network still had a say. He knew that, from everything he and Connie talked about. "So, here he's trying to convince her he's changed and he says" – he found the line on the script and started to read – "'This thing of ours? I know what I done. I broke your heart a thousand different ways and, God, I am sorry for that. But something changed. Me. I've learned what I need to do now.'" He looked up at her. "I wrote a song not too long ago and it really could easily be a song about Deacon and Rayna, about how he's figured out how to be the man she wanted him to be. It's called 'I Know How to Love You Now' and I think that would be the perfect thing for him to say instead of that last line."

She looked thoughtfully at him. "Read it to me again, but substitute that line." And he did and then he sat and waited. A smile crossed her face. "I like it, Chip. You sure it's okay for us to use it? Because I actually think that's pretty perfect."

He smiled. "Absolutely." He hated the scene, because he felt like it wasn't going to change the outcome, that Rayna was going to pick Luke anyway, but it made him feel better to have it sound more like what he thought Deacon would say. He stood up and she did as well. "Thanks, Callie," he said, reaching out to shake her hand.

"No, thank you, Chip," she said. "That's just perfect." As he turned to go, she called after him. "Did you say you wrote a song about that?" He looked at her and nodded. "Why don't you send it to Buddy? I've got an idea for how we might could use it. If you'll let us, that is."

He thought he was going to explode with excitement. "Are you serious? Of course you can use it. I'll send it right over to Buddy."

"It'll probably be next season, but I've got an idea."

He walked back over and hugged her. "Thanks, Callie. That would mean the world to me." Then he hurried out, hoping he could find Connie.

* * *

As he walked across the production building, he pulled out his phone and called her. "Where are you?" he asked, when she answered.

"Hair and makeup," she said. "Where are you? I've got a scene in a half hour."

"I just went to see Callie. Do you think you'll be done so we can talk privately?"

"I don't know how much time…."

"I just need a couple minutes. I promise."

"Meet me outside in twenty minutes then."

"See you then."

* * *

When he heard the trailer door open, he peeked around the side. "Hey!" he called out, in loud whisper. She turned towards him and smiled, then hurried down the steps and around the corner to where he stood. He smiled down at her. "You look pretty," he said.

She rolled her eyes. "Gotta bring old Luke home," she said, smirking.

He shook his head. "Maybe Deacon should have gotten shot up or something," he said, with a chuckle and she swatted at his arm.

"So what's going on? I need to get to set," she said.

"I went to talk to Callie today." She raised an eyebrow. "About that last scene. One of the lines." She looked at him carefully, wondering, he knew, what he'd done. "You remember the song I wrote, the one with Deana?" She nodded. "I pitched the title as a line for Deacon in that whole speech with Rayna in her kitchen."

She frowned a little. "Really?"

"When you have more time I can show you, but I read it through with 'I know how to love you now' and she's gonna change the line." He grinned.

She looked surprised. "Wow."

"Oh, and she might use my song."

"You played her your song?"

He shook his head. "No, but she wanted me to pitch it to Buddy. She thought we might could use it next season."

"If there _is_ a next season."

He sighed. He wished she'd be more positive. Not that it made a difference in whether they'd be renewed or not, but he wanted her to want it as much as he did. "I know. But think how huge that would be." He winked. "Maybe Rayna would get to hear it after all."

She smiled. "Well, I did tell you that if she heard it, she wouldn't be able to resist you." She shrugged. "Maybe it'll work." She patted him on the arm then. "Listen, I gotta run, but let's talk before you leave, okay? I've got Yoby here today and I know he'd love to see his Chip." She laughed.

He nodded. "I'll hang around. Call me when you're done."

"I will." She lifted her hand in a wave and then hurried off towards the set, as he watched. He smiled to himself, thinking it had been a really good day.

* * *

He was reading over the script, trying not to feel despondent. He suspected Connie was right and that the 'powers that be' had no intention of letting Deacon and Rayna be together…at least not yet. He had to wonder if they'd go through with a wedding, yet another obstacle for them. It was hard to know how it would play out, if that was the route they took. He liked working with Connie. They'd had more scenes together now that Deacon and Maddie were exploring their relationship. Meaty, emotionally intense scenes, the kind he loved playing off opposite her. They'd had many long conversations about tone and feel and the motivations of each of their characters.

Of course, the elephant in the room, the thing still looming over them all, was renewal. There didn't seem to be any consensus of opinion, out in the TV world, about their chances. As many critics were predicting cancellation as were predicting some form of renewal, perhaps even a partial season. He didn't feel like they were done with the stories they could tell, but he also knew it was the role of a lifetime for him and he just wasn't ready to give it up.

Plus there was the matter of his relationship with Connie. He set the script aside and thought about that, pondered the what if's. If the show was renewed, even in a shortened season format, they still would see each other during the filming schedule, they'd still be able to have time together. But if they were cancelled, the future was cloudy. The idea of moving his family back to LA, after uprooting them already, was messy, but staying in Nashville didn't necessarily seem like the best answer. He didn't see Connie staying in Nashville, so there was the matter of her leaving to return to LA. But even if he did go back to LA, what happened to them? Did they have what it took to go the distance? Was the relationship just a function of being on the show together or was it bigger than that? He thought the latter, believed she did as well, but only time would tell. He just hoped it didn't come to that just yet.

Just then his phone buzzed and he picked it up. "Hey there," he said, without looking, assuming it was Connie.

"I thought you'd be home by now."

He sat up with a start, the script falling to the floor. "Oh, uh, some scene changes. Sorry."

"How much longer? Addie's got a game tonight."

He'd forgotten about that. One thing Patty did do well was keep the calendar up and make sure he got where he needed to be. "Well, go ahead and go and I'll meet you there." Just then there was a knock on the trailer door and he got up to open it. He was still holding the phone to his ear and he put his finger up to his mouth so that Connie wouldn't say anything. "Listen, I gotta run. I'll be there as soon as I can." Then he disconnected. Patty would be pissed, but he'd deal with that later. He slid his phone in his pocket and smiled. "Come on in."

She walked up the rest of the steps and slid past him as he closed the door. "You need to go?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I'm good." He reached for her hand and pulled her into his arms for a kiss. She leaned into him and put one hand on his face as she returned the kiss. He frowned as he pulled back. "I thought I was gonna get to see Yoby," he said.

"He was asleep and I hated to wake him up," she said, as she put a hand on his arm. "I left him with his nanny so I can't stay long." She took his hand and pulled him over to sit on the bench. "So tell me about talking Callie into changing a line."

He was still excited about that. "Yeah, I suggested it and read it with the change and she liked it."

"Can you read it for me?"

He nodded and reached down for the script that had fallen to the floor. He flipped to the page and started to read. "'This thing of ours? I know what I done. I broke your heart a thousand different ways and, God, I am sorry for that. But something changed. Me. I know how to love you now. That man you always wanted me to be? I am that man.'" He looked up at her, searching her face for how she felt about it.

She looked away, her hands clenching the edge of the bench. When she looked back at him, he wasn't sure what he saw. Finally she nodded. "I like it." She smiled a little. "And since I heard your song, I understand it. Maybe without that context, my question might be 'did you not know how before?' but I think you mean it in a different way than the literal." She chuckled softly. "Or _Deacon_ means it that way."

He smiled back at her. "I think you're right. He's always loved her. But now he can love her the way she deserves. That's what he means, I think. He can be who she always knew he was, deep down inside. Who she wanted him to be." He looked at her closely. "You sure you like it? 'Cause I know you're not a fan of changing stuff up."

She grinned. "No, I am not. But you know what? I think you and I think a lot alike about these characters and their story. I think we're in sync, so it really works for us now. We can play off each other." She slid closer to him and leaned in to kiss him. "We think a lot alike, especially about this. I trust you, Chip."

He reached out and smoothed her hair. "Same," he said. Then he pulled her in for a lingering kiss and she clung to him. When he finally pulled his lips from hers, he leaned his forehead to hers. "I love you. More than anything else in my life."

She smiled. "Same." Then she pulled back. "I need to get going and it sounded like you do too." She gave him another quick kiss. "We've got a scene together tomorrow," she said with a wink.

He smiled, shaking his head. "I gotta play nice with Luke. Yay." She stood and he stood up with her. He walked her to the door and reached around her for the door knob. "Say hey to Yoby for me."

She smiled. "I will do that. And I'll see you tomorrow." She walked out the door and he watched her go down the steps and head back across the parking lot for her trailer.

* * *

The next day she found him in Deacon's living room. She looked excited and he smiled. "I've got news," she said, as she walked over and sat next to him on the couch.

He raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? What kind of news?"

"I got a part in a movie. Kind of a small part, but an interesting one."

"Tell me about it."

"I'll be a CIA agent. An action film with comedy in it. Jesse Eisenberg's in it. The guy from the Facebook movie. And Kristin Stewart. I'll be leaving for New Orleans as soon as we wrap here."

He frowned. "I thought you had the movie in Pittsburgh."

She nodded. "I do. This one is just a few weeks of work. But I haven't really done an action film before, so this is kind of exciting." He sighed and she looked puzzled. "Aren't you headed right out for that tour?"

"Yeah. But it's just a handful of dates."

"But still. You get to do your music, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Although I'll do stuff from the show too. That's what they're gonna want to hear."

She smirked. "Will you do 'Whiskey Lips'?"

He smiled then. "Probably."

"Will you dedicate it to me?" she said with a grin.

"Well, maybe not to _you_ , but to Rayna."

She shrugged. "Same." She breathed in. "Will you have any time to yourself?"

"Yeah." He smiled. "I'll be sure to call you." He leaned closer. "Talk to you about all the things I wish I were doing to you."

She giggled. "I can't wait."

"Well, I'm hoping we still have some chances for the real thing before we wrap."

She nodded. "We will. We'll make sure we do."

"I'm still working on some kind of way to get to Pittsburgh while you're there."

She looked around. "They'll be here to set up any minute." They had a scene to film together, where Rayna was coming to pick up a guitar. He liked that Deacon and Rayna had found a comfortable place again, where they could talk and be around each other, but this particular scene had couple heavy moments and he was looking forward to playing those opposite her.

They stood up and she started to head on, but then she turned back and pinched his shirt, giving him a teasing smile. "I do love that Deacon's wearing a flannel shirt, you know," she said.

He chuckled. "You always were a sucker for a flannel shirt."

She wrinkled her nose. "Just _you_ in a flannel shirt, darlin'," she said, then turned and walked off, leaving him to watch her with a grin on his face.

* * *

As they walked off the set after finishing the scene, she looked over at him. "You don't have anything else, do you?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Do you?"

She shook her head and smiled. "Nope. And Yoby stayed home today."

"Give me five minutes to get the makeup off."

"Don't drop off the flannel shirt just yet though," she said, with a sly look on her face.

He laughed. "Understood." They split up then and he hurried off to his trailer.

* * *

He had her pinned to the trailer wall. He had taken off her jacket and top and she was pressing herself against him as he kissed her thoroughly. When he pulled his lips from hers, he smoothed her hair back and she looked at him, a tiny smile on her face and a dreamy look in her eyes. She ran one hand down his chest, smoothing it over his flannel shirt. "I do love you in a flannel shirt," she murmured.

"So I see," he said, with a smirk.

Her smile spread across her face. "In fact, I think you should leave it on and take off the rest of your clothes."

He arched an eyebrow. "Only if you take off yours." He leaned in and brushed his lips across hers. "Of course, you need to take them _all_ off."

She winked at him as he stepped back and then she reached around her back to unfasten her bra. He moaned a little as she tossed it to the side. Then she took his hand and laid it over her left breast, smiling up at him. He ran his hand over her and then tweaked her nipple. She let her head fall back just a little and closed her eyes. "Um, that feels good," she whispered.

"Look at me, Connie," he said, his voice low, and she did. He kept fondling her breast and she reached out to unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans. Then she put her hands on his waist and bit down on her lip. He let his hand slide down to her waist and then used both hands to unzip her pants, shimmying them part way down over her hips. Then he slid one finger inside her and she gasped. He leaned into her and whispered in her ear, "I want to be inside you."

She moaned out loud. "Oh, God, Chip," she said softly. He kept his finger moving inside her and she rocked her hips back and forth, her eyes holding his gaze.

He finally gave her a quick kiss. "This isn't what I want, Connie," he murmured. He moved his hand and turned her to face the wall, sliding her jeans down a little further. Then he slid his hands around to cup her breasts and he eased himself inside her. "How does that feel?" he whispered into her ear.

"It feels good," she moaned. He massaged her breasts, pulling and tweaking her nipples until she was whimpering. He slid in and out of her with long, powerful strokes and he could feel her trembling a little as she pressed her ass back against him. Her breathing quickened and the moans got louder and he knew she was right on the edge. He shortened his strokes and she pressed herself back against him until she cried out with her orgasm. He followed behind her, groaning loudly, and then wrapped himself around her while they both caught their breath.

"I love you, baby," he whispered against her shoulder.

"I love you too," she whispered back as he just held her close.


	26. Chapter 26

He stood at her door, his arms around her waist. He lifted one hand and smoothed her hair back off her face. "Feels like the days are just racing towards the end, you know?" he said, feeling a little melancholy.

She nodded. "I know. I don't know how I feel about it either." He breathed in and then she shook her head a little. "I don't mean _this_." She looked at him intently. "I'd be devastated to lose _us_. I hope you know that."

"You think that's how it'd go?"

She shrugged, putting her arms around his neck. "I don't know. I think it helps that we work together, even if things are still sort of, you know, challenging. Not working together would make it harder." She ran her tongue over her lower lip. "Would you come back to LA?"

"I don't know. I like being here, the music side of things." He sighed. "I promised myself I would never lose that again. And here it's so easy. There's the Opry and the Bluebird and other places and writing appointments. You know. All the things I was glad I got a chance to do."

"You could write songs in LA. Perform there."

"I could. But it wouldn't be the same. So, I just don't know. Plus the kids have gotten some roots here."

She nodded. "Yeah, I can see where that complicates it. It's hard to move at that age." She let her fingers rake through the hair on the nape of his neck. "Would you be okay with a shorter season?"

He really didn't want that, but it wasn't up to him. "That what they're thinking?"

"That's what the network wants, I've heard. Callie doesn't though."

He tried to smile. "Kind of a Mexican standoff, huh?"

She laughed a little. "Yeah, I guess. They're standing eyeball to eyeball. Guess we'll see who blinks first."

"What do you think?"

She lifted her shoulders and looked away. "I don't know." She looked back at him. "I'd like a shorter season."

"So you wanna come back?"

She breathed in deeply, just looking at him. "I want _you_ ," she said finally. "Which means yeah, I want to come back." She smiled then and kissed him. "I love you, Chip. I'm not ready to give you up."

He pulled her close, his arms tight around her as he buried his face in her hair. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to fight back the threat of tears. He didn't want to lose her either. _If I could get a prayer answered – and I know this is a tough one to ask – I want as many seasons as we can get. Enough to get us to the finish line._ She pulled back then and he opened his eyes, smiling down at her beautiful face. "I'm not ready to give you up either," he said.

* * *

It was a bright sunny Sunday afternoon, with less than a week to go before the season ended. He had taken Blue out for a run, relishing the alone time. He didn't often get to go out on his own and he took advantage of it whenever he could. After the run, he pulled into the gravel area near the top of the trailhead that led to the river. He pulled out his phone and called Connie. "Hey," he said, when she answered. "Any chance you could meet me and Blue at the river?"

"I can do that."

"Can Yoby come?"

She laughed. "You just want to see my son, don't you?"

He smiled. "I haven't seen him in a while. It's a nice day. Blue's here."

"We'll be there as soon as we can."

He disconnected, then looked down at the dog. "Come on, Blue," he said. "We have a date." He pulled on the dog's leash and they jogged down the path to the river.

* * *

He stood with Yoby in the shallow water close to the shoreline. Blue ran circles around them, splashing water everywhere. Yoby was laughing and attempting to chase after the dog. Connie was sitting and watching them, smiling and laughing at their antics.

Finally she called out, "Okay, Yobes, I think you need to come dry off." She held up a beach towel she'd brought.

Yoby turned and faced her. "Aw, Mom, I don't wanna," he said. "Me and Chip are playing."

He looked at her and smiled. "Yeah, Mom, we're playing."

She stuck her tongue out, but she smiled anyway. "I can see that, but he's getting all wet."

"That's what you do in the water." She narrowed her eyes at him and he turned and looked down at Yoby. "I think we gotta go in. Mom's frowning at us."

Yoby looked back towards her. "Don't frown, Mom!" But he slowly made his way back to her, clearly not ready to get out of the water. She picked up the towel and held it open, wrapping him up in it when he got close to her and then hugging him to her, kissing him all over his face. "Chip, save me!" he cried.

He came up and sat down next to her, keeping an eye on Blue, still in the water. "I don't know, buddy," he said to Yoby. "It might get _me_ in trouble."

She smirked and bumped his shoulder. "You egg him on too much," she said.

He raised an eyebrow, then looked down at Yoby. "I don't wanna get _you_ in trouble," he said. Yoby laughed. He held the towel around himself and scooted down a little closer to the water.

"Don't get back in," she warned.

Yoby turned to look at her. "Okay," he said, with a deep sigh that made them both chuckle, and turned back to watch Blue.

He looked over at her and she smiled. "Thanks for keeping him occupied for a bit," she said. "I know that's not really what you were planning."

He scooted around behind her and pulled her back against him, leaning his chin on her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her. "I love him. I don't mind at all."

She leaned against him and patted his cheek. "You're a good man, Chip Esten. You really are." She sighed. "Just when I think I couldn't love you more, you spend time playing with my son and I just fall in love with you all over again." She wrapped her arms around his. "I would really hate to lose all this right now."

He turned his head and kissed her on the neck. "Me too."

"It's also that I love getting to work with you. I've been lucky to work with great people, but this has really been such fun, working with you. We just fit."

"Have I moved past Kyle on your list?" he asked, with a smile.

She laughed. "Well, Kyle was pretty special, I have to admit. But there's something different with us."

"You mean the fact that you're so unbelievably attracted to me? And that you have sex dreams about me?"

She gasped. "How did you know I have sex dreams about you?" Then she laughed.

He hugged her close. "Because I have 'em about you," he whispered in her ear and she giggled.

"That could be awkward," she said.

"Oh, trust me, it is," he said, with a laugh. "But it sure as hell starts the day off right."

She snuggled into him and turned her head slightly towards him. "I love you. So much." Then she sighed.

He kissed her on the temple. "I love you too."

She lifted her hand and touched his cheek, then turned to look at Yoby and Blue. Blue had come out of the water and was now lying next to Yoby, as he gently petted him. "I want this," she whispered, so softly that he almost didn't hear it.

He felt tears in his eyes. "Me too," he whispered back. Holding her like this – it was everything. He thought again, though, that they needed more time. They needed a renewal so that they didn't lose all this. He closed his eyes, wishing things didn't feel so complicated, that he didn't feel so conflicted. He knew, deep in his soul, with a certainty he had not felt about a lot of things in his life, that this woman, who was nestled in his arms, was his present and his future, the one he was meant to find. But his kids were at that age where they needed his presence, more than just on weekends or a few weeks in the summer. Blowing it all up at this point blew up so much more than just a family, but also a reputation, and he couldn't deny that was important too. _I need more time. We need more time. Please give us that time._

It might have been wrong to pray, but that was all he could think to do.

* * *

It all came down to the wire. _Nashville_ was the very last show awaiting its fate. He'd heard more about the behind the scenes negotiations and wrangling on both sides, in the days since they'd wrapped season two. When they'd finished, that last night, standing in the middle of LP Field on an unseasonably cool night, after filming the big closing concert and Luke's proposal to Rayna, he'd felt a lump in his throat. He didn't want it to end that way. He and Connie had filmed Deacon's proposal several days earlier and he'd gotten to use the title of his song. Buddy had already greenlighted using the song for the season three premiere. If there was one. But he didn't want the show to end like this, with everything up in the air.

He knew the network wanted a shorter season. There wouldn't be as much money coming from the state and city. _Nashville_ was expensive to produce, especially on location. There was talk about filming elsewhere, somewhere less expensive with more access to resources, but he knew he wasn't alone in feeling stubbornly certain they needed to be in Nashville itself. Callie and the rest of the production side wanted a full season order. He did too.

When they had done the small venue tour after the season was over, it had been gratifying to see the loyalty of the fans, their desire to bring the show back. Even if their audience was relatively small, it was fierce and dedicated. It never failed to touch his heart to see and hear how the show, its characters and stories, had touched them in very personal ways. It felt both heartwarming and validating. And like him, they all wanted Rayna to choose Deacon. He felt sure that wasn't the way it would play out, but he loved their strong belief in Team Deacon.

Connie was in New Orleans, but they talked and texted every day. She was enjoying the break, enjoying the movie she was filming, loving the city of New Orleans. They didn't talk much about the show or its future, as though they needed to be prepared for disappointment. His family was surprisingly on edge, not really wanting to think about leaving Nashville. At least the kids. He was never sure what Patty was thinking.

That Friday night in May, he couldn't sleep. He paced. He drank whiskey on the back deck. He kept checking his phone. He kept waiting for a call, a text, something.

As it approached eleven, he was sitting on the deck, the lights off, with just the glow from the range light in the kitchen and the stars above providing any kind of illumination. He heard the back door open and her footsteps. "Why don't you just come to bed? Surely if it was good news, you'd have heard by now," she said.

He shook his head. "I need to wait."

She didn't say anything right away, then walked around and sat down in the chair next to him. "I'll wait too, then."

He breathed in, not really wanting her to, but having no reasonable response to tell her not to. It wasn't ten minutes later when his phone buzzed. He looked at it and saw the text from Callie. _We're back for full season 3. Congrats to all._ He felt overwhelmed with emotions and he couldn't help but lean his head back and grin. Suddenly his phone was blowing up and he looked down. Texts from other cast members, production management. And finally one from Connie, one he knew was just for him. _We got our wish, my love. See you soon._ Tears filled his eyes then and he sent a quick response. _Can't wait. Love you._

He took a deep breath and looked over at Patty. "We got renewed. Full season."

She looked away. "Congratulations," she said finally. "I know that's what you wanted." Then she got up and walked into the house.

It was moments like those that always pulled at him. It wasn't like there hadn't been a shift for them, one that long predated his move to Nashville. They'd transitioned from a loving couple to caring parents, even though they'd never really talked about how and why things had changed. It wasn't that he wanted to hurt her, but he knew she knew, even if she didn't want to admit it, or confront it. She knew she'd lost him. In some ways it would be easier if she'd acknowledge it, but then that would mean having to take some definitive action, action he wasn't sure he was ready for in the grander scheme of things. That he wanted, more than anything, to be with Connie, he knew for sure, but the realities of that were more complex.

He shook his head, not wanting to get into all those complications. Now was the time to celebrate and he went back to his phone, responding to everyone's excited texts and celebrating with fans on social media, long into the beautiful night.

* * *

It had been tricky getting to Pittsburgh without Patty and the kids. He had arranged a visit to the Steelers headquarters related to his father and scheduled it for a time when it would have been difficult for them to get away or rearrange things. To his knowledge, Patty didn't know Connie was in Pittsburgh filming. He made that assumption based on the fact that she would never have let him go otherwise. The one downside was that he could only be gone one night. As he sat in the gatehouse at the airport, he thought one night was a gift and they would make it enough.

* * *

He was sitting in the lobby bar, nursing a whiskey and keeping an eye on the main entrance. He finally saw her enter, carrying Yoby, with her nanny following behind. He picked up his phone and called her, keeping his eyes on her. He saw her stop and fumble in her purse, pulling out her phone. He saw the smile cross her face as she raised the phone to her ear. "Hey," she said, sounding glad to hear from him. "Where are you?"

"Across the lobby, in the bar," he said, with a grin.

She turned and found him, the smile getting bigger. "Let me run upstairs and take care of things on this end and I'll be back down. Will you wait?"

He chuckled. "As long as it takes," he said.

She disconnected and slid her phone back in her purse, then looked back at him. She looked great, even from across the lobby, in her sundress and sandals. Then he watched as she walked to the elevator bank and disappeared from his view. He got a refill on his drink and ordered another for her, then moved to one of the booths in the back of the bar, where it was dark and private. He sent her a text to let her know where he was. Then he sat back and waited.

He'd missed her. The last time he'd seen her was the wrap party, which had felt like months ago now. They had talked when they could, texted often, but that obviously wasn't the same as being together. And now, as he waited, just that few minutes of watching her across the lobby, had him thinking about her silky skin, her long legs, her full breasts. He wanted to touch her, feel the softness of her skin, suck on her nipples. He could almost feel what it was like to enter her, to slowly fill her up and feel how tight she was around him. The glass was at his lips and he actually bit the glass and groaned deep down in his throat. He could feel himself getting hard, just thinking about her.

And then there she was, walking across the bar towards him. She was still wearing the sundress and sandals, but she'd pulled her hair up on top of her head and had her glasses on. She slid into the booth and over next to him, letting her hand run up his thigh and then between his legs. She smiled knowingly and leaned in towards him, whispering in his ear, " _That's_ not surprising." He turned to look at her and she grinned.

He pushed the extra glass of whiskey over towards her, then put his hand over hers. She gently squeezed and he made a noise. "Oh, God, baby," he murmured. He looked over at her. She was leaning slightly towards him, her legs crossed daintily under the table, her hand gently applying pressure.

"Do you have a room?" she asked, her voice throaty and low.

He cut off a groan, trying hard not to have an orgasm right there in the bar. He gently moved her hand away. "I do," he said, his voice tight. "But I can't leave just yet."

She laughed softly and picked up the glass, taking a sip of the whiskey. "Well, that's all on you, since it was like that when I got here," she said.

He gave her a side eyed smile and took a swallow from his glass. Then he cleared his throat. "Um, why don't you tell me about your day? That kind of thing," he said.

She smiled. "I can do that." She went on to tell him about the scenes they'd filmed and how much she liked the actors she was working with, particularly the one who was playing her son. She shared her thoughts about the story and how meaningful it was and how glad she was to have gotten the part. He listened but focused more on sipping his whiskey and breathing in and out, trying to settle himself down. It wasn't easy, with her sitting so close, hearing her voice, and seeing the excitement and passion for her work on her face as she talked.

Finally he set his glass down and turned to look at her. She stopped mid-sentence, biting down on her bottom lip. He cleared his throat again. "So, I'm gonna go upstairs." He breathed in. "Room 810." She nodded. He got up then and walked across the bar and into the lobby. Then he made his way quickly to the elevator. When the doors opened, he stepped in, punching his floor, and leaned back against the elevator wall and closed his eyes.

When he got off the elevator, he walked down the hall and let himself into his room. It was a corner room, overlooking the river and he stood at the windows and looked out, waiting. He wondered how long it would be before she followed. The thought had no sooner left his head when he heard a knock. He practically ran to the door, pulling it open. She was standing there, one foot crossed over the other, her sandals in her hand and a smile on her face. "May I come in?" she asked.

He grinned. "Please do," he said, and she walked in, letting her hand slide across his chest as she passed him. He closed the door and then turned to grab her free hand, pulling her into his arms for a kiss. She put her arms around his neck and he felt her drop the sandals on the floor behind him. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her close, letting his tongue trail over her lips and then, when she opened her mouth, find her tongue. He savored the kiss and the feel of her tongue against his, her lips against his own, listening to the little sounds she made in the back of her throat. When he finally pulled his lips from hers, she opened her eyes and looked up into his. "My whiskey lips," he murmured. She smiled and he smiled back.

* * *

She was sitting on the couch, one leg tucked up under her as she watched him pour them both a glass of whiskey. He walked back over and handed her a glass. "How long do you have?" he asked.

"Well, I'm thinking maybe an hour and then, after Yoby goes to bed" – she scrunched up her face – "maybe I could come back? Stay a little longer?"

"All night?"

She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "Almost." He started to sit next to her and she shook her head. "I want you to take your clothes off," she said.

He raised an eyebrow. "Okay," he said. "I want you to take yours off too then."

She smiled. "You first. I want to watch."

He smirked. "You do, huh?"

She nodded. "I do."

He sat down on the end of the bed, smiling, and took off his boots and socks. Then he stood back up and unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. He was watching her watch him and she took a sip of her whiskey and gave him a lazy smile. He took off his belt and then unfastened and unzipped his pants, pushing them down. He was already aroused again and he watched as a light flush colored her cheeks. He stopped for a moment.

She ran her tongue around the edge of the glass. "Keep going," she said, her voice low and thick. He slid off his boxers and then was standing in front of her, hands on his hips, naked and fully aroused. She squirmed on the couch and he smiled again. "You're so gorgeous," she whispered, almost sounding like she was in awe. She stood up then and walked towards him, putting her hands on his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe. "I love looking at you," she said.

 _God, what did I ever do to deserve her?_ He swallowed hard as he looked into her eyes. "Your turn," he said, his voice sounding low and gravelly to his ears.

She turned her back to him. "Would you unzip my dress?" she asked. He reached out and pulled the zipper down slowly, all the way to the top of her panties. He couldn't help it, he reached out and let his finger trail down her back. She sucked in her breath and he thought that if she didn't hurry up and get naked, he would have to tear her clothes off.

She turned back around and took a step back from him. She reached up and pushed the straps of her dress down over her shoulders and then shrugged out of the dress, letting it fall to the floor. She stood in front of him, in her bra and panties, her chest rising and falling as she breathed in and out. She reached behind her and unfastened her bra, letting it fall to the floor. He caught his breath and moaned. She lowered her head slightly and then looked up at him, a tiny smile on her face. He reached out and ran his thumb over one nipple. She sucked in her breath and he felt it get hard almost instantly. Then she stuck her thumbs in the sides of her panties and shimmied out of them, until they were in a pool around her feet. She stepped out of them and towards him, reaching out and taking him in her hands.

He closed his eyes for a second as he felt her hands on him. When he opened his eyes, she was looking up at him and he felt her hands slide up and down his shaft. He breathed in raggedly. "I can't wait," he whispered.

She took another step closer. "Touch me," she said softly, and he did and he nearly lost control when he felt how wet she was.

"Oh, God, Connie," he growled. He put his hands on her arms and turned her towards the bed, pushing her down gently and then lowering himself on top of her. He put his hands on her waist and pushed into her as she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist. She moved her hips back and forth as he pressed in more urgently. He was thrusting in and out of her more quickly, more forcefully, overwhelmed with his desire for her.

She put her hand on his shoulders and he felt her legs pulling him in more and more. Then suddenly it felt like he was going over a cliff and he felt himself slam into her with his release, shouting her name out over and over. He was aware of her arching herself into him, lifting her hips off the bed as she frantically moved her hips and then she cried out and he felt her pulsing around him and he held her tightly against him as she finally caught her breath. He held her so close that he could feel her heartbeat and he wondered if she could feel his.

"You okay?" he whispered.

She nodded against his shoulder. He felt her hands slide under his arms and up his back, then lay flat against his shoulder blades. "I have missed this," she said softly. "So much." He lifted his head so he could look at her. "I've missed _you_. Thank you for coming."

He bent down and brushed his lips against hers. "Thanks for letting me." He kissed her again. "I've missed you too." He rolled onto his side then, taking her with him. He brushed her hair off her face, letting his fingers trail down her cheek. "I miss everything about you."

She smiled and then, surprisingly, he saw the hint of tears in her eyes. He held his breath, unsure what it meant. "I wonder sometimes what my life would have been like if I hadn't met you," she said then. "I really do, Chip. Don't you? I mean, what if this show had never happened? What if Callie hadn't dreamed this up? Would we still have crossed paths somehow? Was this really inevitable?"

He bit down on his lip, letting his fingers run up and down her arm. "I believe it was. But I don't know about crossing paths. I think that's why this show came to be and why me and you got these parts, though. Because _that_ was meant to be. _That_ part was inevitable."

She nodded thoughtfully, letting her finger trace his jawline. "I love you so much," she said softly. "It scares me sometimes."

He frowned. "Why does it scare you?"

"It's fragile, in some ways. It's like an intricate puzzle or a delicate balancing act. One wrong move or one errant breeze and it's all falling down around us."

He shook his head. "I think we're stronger than that." He took a deep breath and then breathed out. "I remember that night I came to your house, that very first time. Do you?" She nodded and smiled. "I felt like I couldn't do anything else but do this with you. Like I had no choice in the matter."

She nodded again. "I felt like that too." She sighed then. "I need to get back to my room, check in on Yoby. But I'll be back later."

He pulled her close and kissed her. "I can't wait." She lingered a little longer, then finally untangled from him, rolled out of bed, and picked her clothes up off the floor. He propped himself up on his elbow as he watched her get dressed. She looked in the mirror over the couch and ran her fingers through her hair, smoothed down her dress, and put back on her glasses. Then she walked back to the bed and sat on the edge.

"I'll see you as soon as I can." She ran the back of her hand over his cheek and he leaned into it.

"I'll be waiting," he said.

She got up and walked to the hallway that led to the door. She turned back and smiled, blowing him a kiss. He snatched the air and held it to his chest and she laughed. Then she turned and was gone. He laid back against the pillow, hearing the door open and then close. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. _I'm the luckiest damn guy in the whole world._

* * *

He could see her face by the light of the full moon shining through the windows, deep into the night. She was biting down on her lower lip and her eyes were fastened on his as she hovered over him. She propped herself up with her hands on either side of his shoulders. He had both of her breasts in his hands as she straddled him. He was deep inside her, feeling her tight around him, and he breathed in sharply. She moved her hands to his shoulders and lowered herself so that her breasts were pressing against his chest and her hands were clasped behind his neck. He slid his hands around her back and down to cup her ass as she swirled her hips around him. Her hair covered them like a curtain, blocking some of the light and she pressed her lips against his.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you," he whispered back, pressing down on her ass as he captured her mouth with his. He heard her start to moan and he felt her start to pulse around him and then let himself go as they cried out together. When she finally relaxed on top of him, he slid his arms around her as she nestled her head against his neck. He let his hand drift up and down her back as they both caught their breath.

She finally rolled off of him and onto her side and he rolled over to face her. She ran the back of her hand over his cheek and smiled. "Thank you so much for coming here," she said. "I have missed you so much."

He smiled back at her. "I'm glad I could make it work. I just wish I could stay longer."

She shook her head and frowned. "It's okay. At least we know there will be Nashville."

He laughed softly. "Yes, that's very true. And thank God for that."

She let her fingers run through his hair. "Do you think anyone will put two and two together about why you're here? At this hotel? Where I am?"

He winked. "I use my real last name. It typically throws people off." She looked a little confused. "Puskar. Most people don't know me that way."

She smiled. "Right." She laughed. "I don't know you that way either, truthfully." She leaned in and kissed him. "And now, Mr. Puskar, I need to maybe get a little sleep. I'm not shooting tomorrow, luckily, but I'll need to get back to my room before long."

He pulled her close. "I'm gonna miss you til I see you again."

She smiled. "Same." Then he rolled her over so that her back was to him, fitted himself behind her and breathed in deeply, glad she was in his arms, even for just a night.

 _A/N: I have to tell you, the scene in finale between Deacon and Rayna was so amazing, but even more amazing was seeing her for the finale performance. And that little kiss! All the Bristen feels, y'all._


	27. Chapter 27

He went out on the porch on the top floor of the house, overlooking the ocean. It was a bright, sunny day, with a breeze that cut a little of the humidity. He watched the waves crash onto the shore, pull back out, then repeat. He took a long pull on the beer in his hand. His head felt a little buzzy, but that had been par for the course all week. A buzz made all the edges a little softer, made him care a little less, created a little cocoon around him. Patty was annoyed about it, but he didn't really care.

He normally enjoyed the beach week. It was a family tradition, with a large number of his extended family sprinkled over several beach houses side-by-side on the Outer Banks. It was a great getaway, always laughter and fun, lots of drinking and games, parties and music. But these last couple years, it just seemed to highlight how lonely he felt. He missed Connie. He'd been missing her since the season wrap. It had been good seeing her in Pittsburgh, but now it felt like that had been months ago.

He took another long swallow on the beer and realized the bottle was empty. He set it on the floor next to the chair, by the other two empties, then reached into the cooler on the other side of him for another, twisting the cap off. He set the bottle on the arm of the chair he was sitting in and then reached in his pocket for his phone. He always made sure to have it with him. Patty had started checking it when he'd leave it somewhere. Even though it was password protected, she could see the activity scroll, so he made sure it was always on him. She had seen a missed call from Connie and had sniffed around that until she got too close to hearing something he suspected she didn't want to hear. But she had been passive aggressive for days afterwards and it had been annoying.

He entered his password and went to text. _Hey Whiskey Lips, what's going on?_ He sent the text and smiled, then waited. He looked out over the dunes again, seeing some of the kids out on the beach. He thought about what it might be like if one day he could bring Connie to this. Those in his family who'd met her liked her, not surprisingly. She was fun, could talk to anyone, made people feel comfortable. His phone buzzed and he looked down. _Watching Yoby at the pool. How's your day?_ He smiled and scratched his cheek. _Not as fun as if you were here_ , he typed in. _Tell Mr. Yoby hey._

The door to the porch swung open and there were footsteps. He looked up to see Patty walk out, a frown on her face. He slid his phone in his pocket. She walked over to the railing and leaned against it. "Everybody's asking where you are," she said.

He squinted as he looked at her. "I'm right here," he said, knowing he was being deliberately obtuse, but not caring.

She crossed her arms over her waist and frowned. "It's supposed to be a _family_ vacation. Spending time with _family_."

He took a long swallow of beer. "So I can't take a little time to myself once in a while?" he asked, feeling annoyed. His phone buzzed and he knew it was a text from Connie. He also knew Patty heard it, so he prepared himself. He could see her jaw clench.

"Is that why you're off alone? To talk to _her_?"

He shrugged. "I'm not talking to anyone," he said, being obstinate again. The phone buzzed again.

She huffed, putting her hands on her hips. "Why do you do this? Here, where your whole family is? Where your _kids_ are?"

He looked at her. He was just buzzed enough that his filter was off and he wanted to be rude but he forced himself to stay in check. "Friends stay in touch," he said, his voice measured. He watched her. He could see her thinking about what to say.

Finally she started for the door. "Don't stay up here too long," she said as she walked back into the house, letting the door slam behind her. He looked over at the door, thinking there was a tremendous amount of anger in that slam. Anger she wouldn't acknowledge.

He pulled his phone back out. _Yoby misses you. I miss you._ He smiled. _I miss you too, baby. Love you._ She sent back a red heart emoji and he put the phone back in his pocket. He got up from his chair and went to stand at the railing. He looked out towards the ocean, the breeze blowing across him. He heard the voices of the kids on the beach, waved at Taylor and Addie as they headed back for the house, watched the clouds billowing up on the horizon.

God, he ached for her.

* * *

The day before they left for home, he headed out the door to take a walk on the beach. It had been a beautiful day and, with dark settling in, he wanted one last solitary walk along the shoreline. He heard the door slam behind him as he hit the last couple steps and he closed his eyes momentarily and gritted his teeth. "Dad, wait!" The voice behind him was Taylor's and he relaxed just a bit. He still would have preferred the solitude, but he didn't mind Taylor's company.

He stopped and looked back, watching her as she came down the steps. He had been the most concerned about his oldest daughter with the move to Nashville. She'd left her old high school and all her friends before her senior year, the time when so many things were coming to an end and those relationships were so important. She was walking into a place where she knew no one, where she wouldn't be connected to groups and memories and fun times. After some initial dragging of her heels, she'd jumped in and, thankfully, had ended up having a good year, even if it wasn't as rich with history.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said.

She linked her arm through his. "Can I walk with you?"

He had hoped to have a chance to call Connie, but this was important too. "'Course you can," he said with a smile. They headed out to the walkway that led over the dunes to the beach itself. They walked in silence until they hit the sandy shore. "You had a good time this week?" he asked, looking down at her.

She dropped her arm as they continued to walk together, heading north. She looked up at him and smiled. "I always have fun here. It's great being with everyone."

"You nervous about college?" Taylor had decided, to both his and Patty's delight, to stay in Nashville and attend Belmont University.

She shook her head. "Nah. I'm kind of looking forward to it."

He wrapped his arm around her neck and pulled her close. "You sure?" he asked, scrunching up his face.

She nodded. "Yeah. It's actually nice to think about really starting out new with everyone, not being the new kid trying to fit in."

He hugged her into his side again. "I appreciate your sacrifice, Tay, I really do. I know it was hard."

She shrugged. "I was excited for you. I know this is something you've wanted, and you deserved it. I didn't want to be the one who mucked it up."

He kissed her on the top of the head. "You could never have done that, sweetie," he said. "You kids are the most important thing to me and all I want is for you to be happy."

She didn't say anything for a few minutes. Then she put his arm around his waist. "I want _you_ to be happy, Dad," she said. "And you seem happier now." He held his breath, wondering what she meant exactly. "I've watched you and I think you found what makes you happy when you came to Nashville." Her voice was quiet, barely loud enough to be heard above the incessant crashing of the waves. She looked up at him then and he saw something in her eyes he was afraid to try to name. "Life's too short, Dad, to not have the life you love." She breathed in and then she smiled. "Grab the ring. That's what I'm doing." Then she pulled away and twirled around in front of him, her arms out wide and her face up to the sky. She looked back at him and grinned. "It's all good."

She turned her back to him then and jogged a little up the beach, until she stumbled a little in her flip flops and then started laughing. She stopped, leaned over to take them off, then turned towards the water. She looked at him, gave him a teasing smile, and then headed into the ocean, up to her calves. He breathed in, feeling like she'd somehow been trying to say something to him without being obvious. He could feel his heart pounding, wondering if the distance between him and Patty was really that obvious to the kids, and if they were as intuitive as she seemed to be about what exactly had changed inside him. Then he decided to not dissect and jogged into the surf after his daughter.

* * *

He was sitting on the beach that last morning with Blue when his phone buzzed. He pulled it from his pocket and looked at it. The call was from Buddy Miller. "Hey, Buddy," he said when he'd put the phone to his ear. "What's going on?"

"What would you think about doing your song live on the premiere?" Buddy asked.

He wasn't sure he'd heard that right. "Do what? Like really sing it when we shoot it?"

"No, man, I mean actually sing it live. Like be on set the night the show airs and actually do it live."

He was stunned. "We can do that?"

Buddy laughed. "Hell, we can do whatever we want. We'll do it live for the east coast and then again for the west coast. You up for it?"

He couldn't even imagine the logistics of that, but then it wasn't for him to figure that out. "Well, yeah, I can do that. I guess."

"It's gonna be epic, Chip."

When they disconnected, he sat there, holding his phone, shocked as hell. This was something that could be epic, as Buddy said, or it could go terribly wrong. He was curious how it would fit into the episode and found himself even more anxious to see the script. He looked at his phone again and scrolled down to Connie's name. It was early where he was, so it was too early for her. _Good news, they really are using my song. Scary news, they're doing it live._ He looked at the text and then decided it might be too early even for a text, so he deleted it, figuring he could let her know later.

* * *

The hiatus was almost over. The premiere episode script would be delivered any day. He'd been back in town for three weeks, knew she had gotten back a few days earlier. He wanted to see her, _needed_ to see her.

She'd been gone most of the break, filming her other projects, vacationing with friends, supporting her causes. He'd been busy too, with his music, writing and performing. Since the night in Pittsburgh, their contact had been a little more sporadic. Patty seemed to be hovering more lately, which made it harder for him to find time alone. He didn't like the long stretches of time apart. Connie didn't like them either.

Patty's attempts to maintain some level of control over him had felt stifling. There were days when he was so wound up over it that he just wanted to blurt out that he was done, that he didn't want to hurt her but that the marriage just wasn't working anymore. But he'd think about his kids and he'd lose his nerve. Then he'd worry that Connie wouldn't wait. How long could he expect her to go on like this?

He knew he was probably overthinking all of it. His kids were old enough to understand. Hell, Taylor probably knew more than she said. _Dad, do what you really love._ She'd said that one day when they were talking about the pull to music, but he had suspected there was more to it than just that. Just like that conversation they'd had on the beach. He knew his kids could understand the end of a marriage and divorce, but it was the idea they would judge him – and Connie – because it had taken her to make him realize it.

He wanted people to like him. It was his weakness. He knew his relationship with Connie would cause people to take sides and that held him back too. Not just his family, but friends and fans. And so he let himself be miserable, made Connie miserable, all the while yearning to be with her. He pulled out his phone and texted her, asking her to meet him.

"Who are you trying to reach?"

He turned to face his wife, a mix of anger, hurt and resignation on her face. She stepped forward and tried to grab his phone but he held tight. "I got someplace I gotta be," he said.

"Where? And with who?" Her tone was strident.

Sometimes he wished she would just confront him, say it out loud, ask the question. But he knew she wouldn't. He wasn't sure if she was in denial or just being stubborn. But right then, whether Connie showed up or not, he needed space. He put his hands to his face, then spread them out almost in a surrender mode. "Look, I need a minute," he said, his voice angrier than he meant it to be. Softening his tone, he said, "I just need to be alone."

He looked away, seeing the pain in her eyes, pain he knew he was causing and was powerless to stop. He turned and walked through the kitchen, grabbing his keys, and headed for the garage.

* * *

He had been there for a half hour. It was such a calm, peaceful place. It was a hot, muggy day, with no breeze to lift the heaviness of the air, and he was glad no one else was there. He sat with his knees pulled up, just staring out over the glassy water.

He didn't turn when he heard her footsteps. She sat down next to him. He could see her long, lean legs, pulled up like his own, tanned and lightly freckled. She was wearing sandals and he noticed the robin's egg blue polish on her toenails. He glanced sideways, taking in the shorts and sleeveless t-shirt, her hair in a ponytail, pulled through a ball cap. Her fingernails had the same blue polish. He looked back over the water. "Wasn't sure you'd be able to come," he said.

After a moment, she said, "I got Jessie to watch Yoby."

Then it was quiet. Neither one said anything for a long time. But he was no good with silence and he had to say what was on his heart. "You're my best friend, my lover, my true north. I just need you to know that. I love you with my whole heart." He wanted her to know nothing had changed, just _needed_ her to know that.

She didn't respond at first, but then finally she slid over, putting her arms around his waist, and leaning her head on his shoulder. He closed his eyes and breathed out, putting his arms around her, holding her close, and feeling her relax into him. "I love you too," she said, her voice quiet and calm. "I've spent this whole hiatus thinking about us. It's just so much harder when we really are apart, when it's not easy to see each other or even talk to each other. She held him tighter. "I missed you. My whole body missed you." She smiled, a soft smile.

He smiled back. "I missed you too." He lifted the ball cap off her head and set it on the ground, then pulled her to him and kissed her, forcing her lips to open beneath his, clinging to her like she was an anchor in a storm.

* * *

He walked into the kitchen, feeling less tense than when he left. It had felt good to have Connie back in his arms. They had talked about what they'd been doing. She shared his excitement about doing his song live. He'd felt a little bit like a teenager, feeling her up, and they had laughed about that. He loved seeing the smile on her face, looking relaxed and happy. He smiled a little to himself as he set his keys down on the counter. "So she doesn't choose you. That's something." He jerked his head around. He hadn't noticed Patty when he walked in the kitchen. He felt a sense of panic, wondering if she'd followed him. Then he saw her holding the script.

"You know that's not real," he said, hearing a very slight shakiness in his voice. He cleared his throat. "It ain't me. It's TV."

She narrowed her eyes a bit. "It better be," she said. She dropped the script on the kitchen table and walked out. He put his hands over his face, feeling his heartbeat starting to slow down. He knew she sensed it. He knew she didn't want to know for sure. But it was almost worse for her to be in denial. She watched him constantly, checked his social media accounts obsessively, followed every female fan he followed on Twitter. She scheduled his life as much as she could, trying to keep him away from Connie. It didn't work – hadn't worked – but she tried.

He walked over to pick up the script and steeled himself for the apparent choice of Luke by Rayna.

* * *

The first day back was always a table read. When he walked into the room that morning, he looked around the table. There were always name tents at each chair and a fresh copy of the last revision of the script and the studio schedule, along with pens and pencils, glasses for water or other drinks, and a notepad. He saw that he and Connie were not sitting together. She was sitting next to Will Chase, not really surprisingly. They always tended to sit people around who they would be in scenes with the most. He wasn't even across from her, but seated perpendicular to her, with other people in between them. He could tell he'd have to actually lean forward to get a glance at her. He breathed in, trying to tamp down the annoyance he felt.

He was seated in between Clare and Chris. Across from him were Eric Close and the Stella girls. He started to walk back out of the room when Sam walked in. "Chip!" he called out in his clipped British accent, one that never failed to cause a double take, even though he'd heard it countless times over the last two years. "How was your summer, dude?" Sam had a huge smile on his face and they hugged.

"Mine was great," he said, putting a grin on his face. "How about yours?"

* * *

When they broke for lunch they weren't quite halfway through the read. As always, there was conversation around the script, some slight changes already. He got up and walked out to craft services. "Hey." He heard her voice softly call out behind him. He turned to look at her and she smiled. He smiled back. "It's good to be back, isn't it?"

He sort of hated this forced kind of banter, where they had to act like they were coworkers and not so much more. He nodded. "Yeah, it is." Then he smirked. "Except for the mistake the writers made when they had Rayna pick Luke."

She laughed a little. "Yeah, it'll be interesting to see how that one goes. I feel like she focuses too much on the past."

"I see we've got studio time tomorrow."

She nodded. "Finally getting to do 'Postcard from Mexico' together." She lightly touched his arm. "Can we do our own rehearsal of the scene at Deacon's house?" she asked, lowering her voice a bit.

He hesitated. It was a tough scene, where Deacon pulls out all the stops to convince Rayna to accept his proposal, reminding her of what they've always meant to each other. Just reading it was heartfelt and emotional, raw and devastating. _He knows they belong together, he knows she knows it too, she just won't let herself give into it._ Then he nodded. "Sure."

* * *

He was waiting for her at the studio. She hurried in and practically collapsed on the couch next to him. He smiled and handed her a coffee. She smiled gratefully and took the cup in both hands, lifting it to her lips. He watched as she took a sip, closing her eyes, and smiling. Then she looked back at him and laughed. "You're always there with coffee," she said.

He grinned. "I know you always need it."

She took another sip, then sat back next to him, their shoulders touching. She looked over at him. "I'm a little nervous about the flashback scenes."

He frowned. "Why?"

She rolled her eyes. "I know they use all this special lighting, but, honey, I'm not in my twenties anymore." She made a face. She bumped his shoulder. "And you may be awfully cute, but you aren't either."

He laughed. "That is very true. Although Deacon's been drinking pretty heavy, so maybe he looks older than he is."

She looked thoughtful. "Well, there is that." She sighed and then leaned her head on his shoulder. "I hate how she holds herself so tight. I hate how afraid she is. She thinks she's being strong, but she's really just scared to death. It's like she can't forgive herself."

He nodded. "I know."

She sat up then, turning slightly towards him, pulling one leg up underneath her. She looked at him intently. "It feels a little like you and me," she said, keeping her voice low.

He frowned. "I don't know what you mean."

She inclined her head towards him. "You're trying to figure out your path. You want to do the right thing, but it's kind of all mixed up with where your heart tells you to go." He started to protest, but she shook her head. "There's no right or wrong answer. It just is and it has to play out, just like it will for Rayna and Deacon. She makes the choice she thinks is the right one. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Only time will tell."

"I don't know, Connie," he started, but then the producer came out to let them know he was ready.

They got up. She put her hand on his arm and he looked at her. "I know it's not the same scenario, but there are real feelings there." He nodded, then let her walk ahead of him to the studio.

* * *

He hadn't liked the idea of rehearsing the scene too much. He had hoped there would be minimal takes. It was such a heartfelt scene, with so much pain and longing and then resignation in it, that they were both afraid they'd lose the immediacy of it and that it wouldn't show, on film, what was really there.

They sat for a long time on Deacon's couch, after the scene was over. The crew left to set up elsewhere, the lights were turned off. At some point, she had reached for his hand and he'd held onto it, not really caring if anyone saw. There had been real tears at the end. He wondered if that would be in the final version. It had felt every bit as raw and painful as he imagined it would be, for two people in that scenario. And then he understood what she'd meant when she said it felt like the two of them. It could so easily be that – two people so meant for each other, pulled apart by circumstances, whether intentional or not.

He took a deep breath and she looked over at him. He could see the sadness in her eyes, on her face. "That felt so…painful. So real," she said. She tightened her grip on his hand. "Sometimes I have a hard time separating what's real from what's not."

He nodded, knowing what she meant. There were times when it seemed like life imitated art, or that life _was_ the art. This felt like one of those times. Not the part where Rayna was telling Deacon no, but the raw emotion. It felt like it was all Chip and Connie. "It's not gonna end like that for us," he said, his voice low, almost choking on the words, his own emotions right at the surface.

She looked away from him and he could see her lip tremble just a bit. Then she turned back to him. "That's what I want to believe," she said. "That's what I _have_ to believe."

"Believe it, baby." She stared into his eyes for a moment, then nodded.

 _A/N: Thanks for your patience with me on posting chapters! I love your reviews - they keep me going!_


	28. Chapter 28

_A/N: I hit a bit of a writer's block this week, so hope this will be worth the wait. Thanks again for all the reviews – y'all are the best!_

They walked off the set together. He waited while she got her purse from her trailer, then he walked her to her car. She leaned against the driver's side and he did the same. She was staring out across the parking lot and he finally turned to her. "You okay?" he asked.

She looked up at him and he was struck by how drained she looked, how tired her eyes looked. She made a face and shrugged. "I guess." She rubbed her hands on her thighs. "I know it's not real life, but damn, Chip, I just feel so, I don't know, so disappointed."

He nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. "I know. Me too."

She bumped his shoulder. "Will Chase is a lovely man and he does a good job in that role, but, you know, her heart's not in that relationship. It's hard to play it otherwise."

"But you will."

She gave him a side-eyed smile. "But I will. You're right." She turned and faced him. "I think I'm gonna cry all night and then I'll just put on a happy face and get through it."

He gave a little chuckle. "Yeah, that's all you can do." He smiled then. "Me, I've got an idea for a song."

She smiled then, a more genuine smile. "You do?"

He nodded. "I do. Already did a little work around it. Kind of Deacon's confidence song. 'He ain't right for you, 'cause, honey, he ain't me.'" He lifted an eyebrow.

She laughed and clapped her hands. "I love it. Can't wait to hear the whole thing."

He pushed off the car. "You'll be the first, I promise."

She reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He lifted his hand in a wave and then walked to his car.

* * *

All he thought about on the ride home was the scene at Deacon's house. It was definitely one of the most difficult scenes they'd filmed together. It was one of the most well written scenes he thought he'd had on the show, certainly since the first season. It captured what was so real about Deacon and Rayna – their love, how hard it was to reconcile their history with the present, the pull that was still there between them. One of the things he knew to be true was that his and Connie's personal relationship made the scene richer, more authentic.

He'd been sure, from the moment he knew he'd be paired up with her on screen, that it would be amazing, that she was so good that she'd pull him with her. The spark was there from the beginning – they'd both acknowledged it now – and it had made it all real. Magic, really. When he thought back on it, he did wonder sometimes if it was the words on the paper that had drawn them together or if being drawn together had made the words resonate.

That first season, Rayna had been off-limits, much like he, Chip, was supposed to be. He thought back to that night he'd gone to her house, to read lines and share a meal. It had been inevitable that something would happen between them, that he knew for sure. He breathed in sharply, feeling a sudden ache for her. He reached for his phone and said, "Call Whiskey". He held the phone to his ear and waited for her to pick up.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey. I was just thinking about you."

She laughed softly. "That's funny, I was just thinking about _you_."

He smiled. "Yeah?"

"I was." She paused. "I was just wishing, well, I guess, wishing we had a little more time to spend together. I could probably have hung around a little longer."

"It's okay. Another time."

"I'm not working tomorrow. Are you?"

"Yep."

"Well, would you be able to make some time to stop by?"

He smiled. "I could do that. Maybe on the back end of the day."

"I'd like that."

"I should be done mid-afternoon. I can call you when I'm leaving."

"Well, I just got all tingly thinking about that." She laughed.

He grinned. "I think maybe I could get you all tingly tomorrow afternoon then."

"Oh, I know you can. Okay, I'm turning on my street. I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yes, you will." He breathed in. "Love you."

"I love you too." He smiled as he disconnected. He was anxious for the next day.

* * *

They were laying on top of the comforter on her bed, their fingers entangled together, facing each other. She had that light flush to her skin, the one that accentuated her freckles. She smiled at him and he noticed, again, the way one of her front teeth just ever so slightly overlapped the edge of the other. It was the one thing about her that, in his mind, was the only less than perfect thing about her, and even that was just adorably cute and actually felt perfect in its own imperfect way.

"What are you thinking?" she asked, her smile widening.

He took a deep breath, then leaned in and kissed her on the tip of her nose. "I was just thinking about how perfect you are," he said, with a smile.

She rolled her eyes, then scrunched up her nose and grinned. "I am _so_ far from perfect," she said. "You more than anyone knows that." Her eyes sparkled with laughter. " _You_ are the one who's perfect."

He raised an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure that's not the case," he said, chuckling. "I'm a total goober."

She laughed. "Yes, you are that, my love." She slid closer to him, pulling her hand from his and lifting it to his face. "And you're _my_ totally perfect goober." He leaned towards her and captured her lips with his, kissing her, tugging on her bottom lip until she opened her mouth to his. He let his hand trail over her hip, flattening it against her ass, pressing her against him. She moaned a little, lifting her foot and sliding it down his calf. He kept kissing her and she kept sliding her foot up and down his leg. He moved his hand and pushed one finger inside her from behind. She groaned, shifting herself so that her breasts were pressed firmly against his chest. She pulled her lips from his, looking at him through half-closed eyes. She bit down on her bottom lip.

"You like that, baby?" he whispered. She nodded. He ran his tongue around her mouth and she made a little noise. "Hold me, baby," he said softly. She reached down between them and put her hand around him. He took her bottom lip between his teeth as she gently squeezed and then ran her hand slowly up and down. He knew he wouldn't last long, but he liked trying to surprise her. He captured her mouth again, letting his tongue battle hers, as he slid his finger in and out of her, feeling her getting close to the edge.

Suddenly, she rolled him onto his back and pulled her mouth from his. "I want you inside me," she purred, her eyes dark with desire. He looked back at her, willing her to take control. She hesitated just a second, then she shifted slightly and guided him inside her. He grabbed her hips, pulling her closer and pushing himself all the way inside her.

He looked back at her face and thought he was probably the luckiest man alive. "I love you, baby," he whispered hoarsely.

She moved her hands to his shoulders and then lowered herself so that she was pressing against his chest. She slid her hands around and clasped her fingers behind his neck, her hair falling around them. "I love you too," she whispered, then pressed her lips to his. As she started to move her hips around him, he _knew_ he was the luckiest man alive.

* * *

She was laying back against the pillows, her knees drawn up. He was still trying to catch his breath. He slid his hand over and covered hers. She turned her head to face him. "Now you know why I arranged for Yoby to go over to Jessie's," she said with a grin.

He smiled back. "I think it's a good thing you did."

She sighed. "That just filled me up, Chip," she said, then she laughed. "Of course, I'll want more tomorrow, but at least I'll be able to think about this." She turned her hand over and linked her fingers with his, her expression turning more pensive. "I'm sort of afraid we aren't going to work together much for a while."

He gave her a serious look, then turned his head and looked up at the ceiling. "Just your intuition or…?"

"It's something Dee said." She sighed and he turned back to look at her. "You know, something about 'divergent paths' or something similar."

"How long?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"How do you feel about it?"

She rolled onto her side. "I don't love it. I think we're getting kind of off course. And while I understand this whole thing about couples being together…" She sighed and looked frustrated. "Actually, I _don't_ really understand that at all." She frowned. "I got to play part of a really nuanced couple, two people who fought sometimes and disagreed sometimes and made each other crazy sometimes but still supported each other and loved each other and built a life together. And were _married_ , for crying out loud." She put her hand on his chest. "Rayna and Luke are just Rayna and Teddy all over again, at least from a couple standpoint. Rayna loves Luke the same way she loved Teddy, because it's nice and easy and it's what she's supposed to want, but neither relationship is very nuanced. Deacon and Rayna are nuanced. There's such a long history between them and they would have all these obstacles to overcome, things they believe about each other, things they need to work through. And that's so much more interesting than two people trying to plan some big celebrity wedding." She rolled her eyes.

He rolled over to face her. "So what do we do? What _can_ we do?"

She made a face and shrugged. "There's nothing to do but wait it out. I really can't believe they're gonna let Rayna and Luke get married, but I just don't know what to think anymore. What I do know is that we're gonna have to make time, for ourselves." Her face softened and she reached out and ran the back of her fingers over his cheek. "I've had you around long enough now that I think I'm a little bit attached to you." She smirked and he smiled back. "I kinda fall in love with you a little more every day." She breathed in. "It still scares me a little bit sometimes, but I think it's because I've never felt like this before. About _anyone_."

He rested his hand on her hip. "I feel the same."

She smiled, then leaned in and brushed his lips with a kiss. She reached up and smoothed his hair across his forehead. "I know you need to go," she said, sadly. "Could I interest you in a quick shower first?"

He lifted his eyebrows. "With you?" She smiled and nodded. "Then hell, yeah, I could be interested in a shower." He got up and pulled her up from the bed, then chased her into the bathroom.

* * *

It was supposed to be a quick shower, but then he started kissing her and she was kissing him back, plus they were naked and wet, and she looked so inviting, with the water pouring down over her shoulders and her breasts and her stomach and down her legs. He thought that all he had to do was see her naked and he wanted her. Needed her. And so he pushed her up against the shower wall and made love to her until the water was lukewarm and their fingers were all prune-y and he knew he'd more than exceeded the amount of time he could make a reasonable excuse for.

But he was with the woman he loved and he didn't really give a damn.

* * *

When he got home, the kids were in the kitchen along with Patty. She gave him a look when he walked in the door and he knew that he only had a temporary reprieve. He looked away from her, thinking about how much he hated living this way. It wasn't really that he _hated_ her, but she exhausted him. Plus it was hard living two lives, which was how he'd come to see his life. He had one life that was this family, the one he and Patty had created. These kids he loved, and sharing their lives, being present for the things they were experiencing. Being away from them for a year had just solidified for him that he didn't want that to be the norm, that he didn't want to be a weekend/summer vacation dad.

But the other life he led was the one where he could be himself most freely. He had missed being loved, being touched, being able to laugh with someone else. He had not come to Nashville thinking he would find that. It was a job – a very good job – but it was still a job. It was affording him great opportunities to do other things he loved, like songwriting and performing. Nashville as a city and a place to live in fueled his creative side and he'd felt energized from the moment he'd stepped foot on the ground.

But he'd found so much more. Now he had someone to love, someone to love him. It had never been the goal, but when it happened it had felt like it had been written in the stars. In the beginning, when things were all still new, he had craved everything about Connie. Her touch, the way she looked at him, the smile on her face, holding her close. He still craved those things, but it was as though they'd settled into a rhythm, although not exactly the one they would have both preferred. There was always the desire for more time, but they made the best of what they had. But the two worlds didn't fit nicely and, as always, he struggled a bit with making that transition.

He went to the fridge and got a beer. There was noise all around him – kids talking and laughing, the dog running back and forth, the TV on in the background – and so he walked outside onto the deck. Their house had a heavily wooded backyard and it made it very peaceful. It was still early enough that the sun still filled the sky and it wasn't dipping too close to the horizon. He heard the sound of birds and felt a light breeze, something that always seemed to lift the air. He lifted the bottle to his lips and took a swallow. He heard the door open and close behind him and he closed his eyes, waiting.

"You were late," came Patty's voice behind him. He didn't turn.

"Sometimes shooting runs late. You know that."

"Your hair is still wet." He put his hand on the nape of his neck without thinking. He could feel the dampness. He turned to face her then. She was standing there, one arm crossed over her waist, a large glass of wine in the other. She always enjoyed a glass of wine in the evening, but he thought about the fact that she had seemed to drink more since they'd moved to Nashville. He still didn't respond, just waited for her. "I can't be around all the time," she went on and he heard a little shakiness in her voice. He didn't know if it was emotion or the wine. "But I need to trust that you won't be lazy."

He frowned. "What does that even mean?" he asked.

Her face had that closed off look to it, the look that said she was just suffering through something she didn't like. He'd seen it before, when he did a performance or an appearance. She would smile when he talked about the show or about the music or other cast members, but if he mentioned Connie or Rayna, she'd get that closed off look and her eyes would be hard as steel. "People talk, Chip," she said then. "You know that. Don't do anything that will make people talk. Don't do anything that would embarrass the kids."

He took a long swallow of his beer. "What exactly are you saying?" he asked, wondering how far she'd go.

She looked away. "I'm saying you need to be careful. About what you say, what you do. Sometimes you talk too much, you say things that make people wonder." She sipped at her wine for a moment. "You should stop talking so much about _her_. About her character. Stop saying that every single damn song you do is about _her_."

He could feel the bile rise up in his throat. "First of all, Connie is my coworker. Our characters are _linked_."

She cut her eyes over to him. "Her character has moved on."

He closed his eyes for a second, feeling his jaw twitch. "The characters are linked. That's just a fact. People expect me to talk about her. _Fans_ expect me to talk about her. I'm going to keep doing that." He took another pull on his beer, then pointed it at Patty, who looked away again. "And all my songs _aren't_ about her. That's just ridiculous."

She looked back at him. "You're still married. You'd do well to remember that." She took a big sip of her wine and then looked at him again, her eyes flashing with anger. "And I'm going to help you do that. For however long it takes."

He clenched his jaw with irritation. The way things were shaping up, it was going to be a tough season, at least as far as him and Connie sharing screen time. They were already having to be creative in the way they spent time off set. He really didn't need to have his every move scrutinized and monitored. He downed the rest of his beer. "If that's how you want to spend your time, I guess that's your choice," he said tersely. "I can't promise it'll all go your way."

He started to head for the back door, when it opened, and Addie popped out, a smile on her face. "So, did you guys decide where we're going for dinner? It shouldn't be that hard to figure out," she said. He saw Taylor walk up behind her. She caught his eye and shrugged, a compassionate smile on her face.

He forced a smile on his face and walked over, pulling Addie into a hug. "I don't know about y'all, but I'm thinking Cork & Cow. That sound good?" Everyone seemed to agree and he turned back to look at Patty. He raised an eyebrow at her, as the smile faded from his face. "That work for you?"

She smiled, one he knew wasn't genuine. "Of course. That was my choice all along." She pushed past him as she headed back into the house.

* * *

It was early on a Saturday morning and he was in the kitchen making coffee. No one else was up yet. The kids were all back in school and Friday night activities were in full swing, so Saturday mornings were usually lazy ones. His phone buzzed and he picked it up. _You up? Can you meet me here?_ There was another buzz and a picture of the river popped up. He smiled. _On my way_ , he typed in. He poured coffee into a travel mug, slid his phone in his pocket, and picked up his keys and the dog leash.

"Let's go, Blue," he said quietly. Blue was up and by his side in half a second, which made him smile. Blue was a great cover for a lot of things. Even better was the fact that he was able to keep secrets. He opened the back door and followed the dog out to the car.

* * *

When he got halfway down the path, he unfastened Blue's leash and let the dog run the rest of the way. When he walked up to the clearing, Blue was leaping around in the water and Connie was standing on the shoreline watching him. He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind, leaning into her neck. She turned her face slightly towards his and put her hands over his, leaning back against him.

"This was a surprise," he whispered against her ear.

She breathed in deeply. "I just needed to see you. I feel like I haven't seen enough of you." He would agree with that. With their characters on 'divergent paths', there was little onscreen time together and what there was seemed to be tense and unpleasant for their characters. She turned around in his arms and linked hers around his back. "I was afraid you wouldn't be able to get away."

"I was the only one up." He pulled her close and kissed her. Then he smiled. "I was glad to get your text."

She arched her back slightly and smiled up at him. "I almost didn't send it. I didn't want to get you in trouble."

He kissed her forehead. They'd had a long talk about Patty's directive. Connie had been very introspective about it for several days, wondering about the impact on both their lives. She had asked him then if it was wise to continue seeing each other, but had seemed relieved when he told her that wasn't what he wanted. They'd been back on more even ground since, although it had still been challenging to get quality time together. "Don't worry," he said. He took her hand then and led her to a spot where they could sit. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "What's Yoby doing this morning?"

She smiled. "He had a sleepover at Jessie and Nathan's." She laughed. "He was very brave about it, but he was worried I'd be lonely without him. I think it was more that he'd be sleeping in a strange bed." She waved her hands. "Not like he hasn't done that before, but he's at that age. I'm sure you had the same kind of experiences."

He smiled, thinking back to when his kids were that age. "It's a fun age, for sure," he said. "They try to act so grown up and self-assured and it's all you can do not to laugh." She was quiet. "You okay?"

She nodded, not saying anything at first. Then she sighed. "Sometimes I worry about Yoby," she said. "All he has is me, but, you know, he's getting very attached to you. I tell him Chip's our friend and that's why you're around, but he's getting to be old enough to understand some things." She leaned back against his shoulder. "And say some things. I don't want to tell him he can't talk about…that kind of thing, because all that does is bring up more questions."

He hugged her close, kissing her on the cheek. "What do you want to do?"

She turned slightly so she could look at him. "He loves you, Chip."

"I love him too, Connie. He's a great kid, a fun kid."

"I don't know that I think he'd say something, just randomly, but he's a kid. He doesn't have much of a filter." She had a worried look in her eyes. "I don't want to cause trouble for you."

He thought about that. "The only alternative I can think of is to not see each other, at least around him. I'm not sure that's realistic. Do you?"

She shook her head and then nestled back against him. "Probably not. I guess we'll just see how it goes." She made a contented noise then. "This feels good."

He nuzzled her neck. "Mm hm, it does." He heard his phone buzz and she stirred a little bit. He held her more tightly.

"You don't need to check that?" she asked softly.

"I'm _not_ going to check that," he responded.

* * *

It was yet another episode where they had no scenes together. They, at least, were filming the same day and were able to grab lunch together. She tapped his plate and smirked. "Love scenes today, huh?" she asked.

He shook his head and laughed. "I would not call it love," he said.

"Poor Deacon," she said with a grin. "At least she's been around the block a time or two."

He laughed. "I guess that's true." He cleared his throat. "I'm playing the Opry this weekend," he said. "Saturday night."

"You are? That's exciting."

"I'm going to do my song for Rayna, for the first time."

She got a dreamy look on her face. "I'll try to listen. I wish I could hear it before that though."

He leaned forward. "Mark's out of town. I could probably use his place to give you a private performance." She smiled and blushed and he sat back in his chair, trying to come up with a plan.

* * *

When he finished the song, she got up from the couch and crossed over to where he sat. She took his guitar and set it aside, then sat on his lap, straddling him, her arms linked around his neck. She leaned in and kissed him and he put his hands on the small of her back, letting himself linger in the kiss. When she finally pulled her lips from his, she leaned her forehead against his. "I love it," she said. "I also love the fact that I just found out this wedding isn't gonna happen."

He pulled back. "Seriously?"

She smiled and nodded. "Seriously." She ran her fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck. "Obviously that's top secret intel," she said, giving him a conspiratorial look.

"Anything beyond that?"

She shook her head. "No, but I think it's pretty clear they can't keep Rayna and Deacon apart any longer. Which means, my love, that I think we're gonna have some fun." She kissed him again, then got up from his lap. She took his hand. "Now I think Connie and Chip should have some fun, don't you?"

He stood and pulled her into his arms, making her laugh. He raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I definitely think we should," he said. He started to tickle her, making her squeal with laughter and beg him to stop. Then he hustled her back to one of the guest rooms, telling her not to worry about the sheets.


	29. Chapter 29

_A/N: Thanks to Bonnie for pointing out that I inadvertently uploaded the same chapter twice. Actually chapter 28 was the incorrect chapter, so I've uploaded the correct chapter. Chapter 29 was correct. Sorry about that!_

"So I'm doing the Opry Saturday night," he said as he and Connie walked off the set. It was yet another of those days when they were both working, but not with each other.

She smiled. "That's getting to be a regular thing for you, isn't it?"

He shrugged and grinned. "It's kind of a kick, ya know?" She nodded. "I used to listen to the Grand Ole Opry on the radio sometimes with my dad and I always thought it would be something pretty special to do. I really thought when we did that scene on the stage for the pilot that it would be the only time I'd do it. But to be asked for real? As Chip?" He put a hand over his heart. "It's like a dream come true."

She rubbed the back of his arm and smiled. "I'm glad I got to be there that first time." She grinned. "Even if you didn't know it."

He nodded. "I wish you'd come this time."

She shook her head, a wistful look on her face. "I can't. I would love to, but you know it's not a good idea."

He _did_ know. He would never put her in that position. "You can listen though."

She nodded. "I can do that."

He smiled. "You should, 'cause I'm gonna do 'He Ain't Me'."

She looked surprised. "You are?"

"I am. And I'm gonna dedicate it to you."

She put her hand on her throat. "To _me_?"

"Well, to Rayna."

She wagged a finger at him. "Tempting fate, Chip," she said, a teasing look on her face.

He raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Yep. And I don't give a shit either."

They got to her trailer. "I'll be listening," she said. She looked at him a little wistfully and sighed. "Can you stay a minute?"

He smiled. "I thought you'd never ask." Then he followed her up the steps.

* * *

He was standing on the side stage, waiting for Bill Anderson to introduce him. Patty was there, along with Chase and Addie. "Dad, are you doing your own songs?" Addie asked.

He turned to her and smiled. "One of 'em. The other one's from the show."

She grinned. "Which one?"

"You'll just have to wait and see." He focused back to the stage as Bill introduced him and then, with a wink at the kids, he turned and walked out on stage. The applause was loud and raucous. He knew it was the appeal of the show, he had no illusions about that. But since he'd started including his own songs, whenever he was asked to perform, it made him feel more like he truly belonged in that circle. He walked to the center of the stage and leaned into the mic. "Hello, Nashville!" he called out and the crowd responded enthusiastically. He smiled. "So, anybody out there watch a show called _Nashville_?" The cheers got louder. "Anybody out there Team Luke?" He laughed at the overwhelming boos, with a few cheers sprinkled here and there. "So y'all are Team Deacon then?" Louder cheering. "Well, this is a song I wrote and it kinda could be a song Deacon wrote for Rayna, telling her maybe she didn't pick the right guy." Cheers and whistles. "A little something called 'He Ain't Me'."

He launched into the song, a fun, up-tempo number that was really a cross between country and rock. Every time he performed it, particularly when he said it was Deacon's response to Rayna picking Luke, he got a very positive reaction. It clearly hit the sweet spot for fans and he thought it was catchy enough to appeal even to those who didn't watch the show and just happened to get him on the night they'd come to the Opry. Most of all, it was a fun song to do.

He got a great response to it, which was rewarding, and then he moved into 'You're the Kind of Trouble', the song Deacon had sung at the Bluebird the night Rayna brought Maddie to see him. Again, he set the stage for it, explaining the context, and got a rousing response from the crowd. As he walked off the stage, Chase and Addie were grinning from ear to ear, Addie bouncing on her toes.

"Dad, you were great!" she squealed and he hugged her.

Chase fist bumped him. "Awesome performance!" he confirmed.

When he looked at Patty, her face was like a thundercloud. He looked back at the kids. "Let's head for the dressing room," he said, and they turned and started walking in that direction, as he and Patty trailed behind.

She looked up at him then, her eyes dark and her jaw clenched. "You need to stop doing that," she said, her lips barely moving.

He took a beat, then shrugged. "I gotta give them what they want," he said dismissively. "And that's what they want." He picked up his pace then, leaving her to follow behind.

* * *

He was by himself this time, standing at the edge of the river, his hands in his pockets. Driving home from the Opry the night before, Patty had scowled the entire drive, and the anger had seemed to roll off of her. He wasn't sure how much the kids noticed, but they'd been mostly silent on the drive. More and more often these days he wondered if he was doing the right thing for anyone. He was trying not to be selfish, even though he wanted to be. He often thought that his unhappiness rubbed off on everyone around him, most especially his kids, although they didn't appear to behave any differently.

There were days like this when he questioned himself, wondered if he'd taken a wrong turn somewhere, fallen by the wayside. He considered himself a spiritual man, a religious man. He believed in God and Jesus and faith and doing the right thing. So there were certainly times when he considered where he was in his life. He'd made a commitment, all those years ago, and had certainly intended to stand by it, back when he made it. Even when he'd realized that what had felt so right back in those years before and after the end of college had faded, he'd intended to honor that commitment, even if it was in name only. But that was before Nashville, before _Nashville_ , and before Connie. He felt tears and closed his eyes, breathing in deeply.

He felt a hand on his back and he was startled back to the present. He'd been so focused on his thoughts that he hadn't heard her walk up. He turned and noticed the look of concern on her face.

"Are you okay?" she asked, rubbing her hand up and down his back.

He breathed in again, feeling a lump in his throat, then rubbed his face with his hands. When he looked back at her, he could see the questions in her eyes. "I don't know," he admitted. "I guess I'm having one of those days."

She kept rubbing her hand in circles on his back and it felt comforting. She nodded. "I understand." He supposed she did. She was carrying the same secrets, the same uncertainties, similar questions. He turned and put his arms around her, holding her close, and felt that comforting feeling again as she wrapped her arms around him as well, breathing in deeply as she nestled her face into his shoulder. "You wanna talk?" she asked, her voice muffled against his t-shirt.

He let her go and looked down at her, then nodded, closing his eyes briefly. Then he took her hand and they sat on the river bank, just holding hands. She waited for him to be ready to talk and finally he was. He breathed in, then lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. "I guess I'm just having one of those days," he said again, feeling weary. She was looking at him with encouragement and sympathy. "You know, I just feel like I've made a mess of everybody's lives, without even thinking about the collateral damage. To my kids, to Patty," – she looked away then – "and mostly to you." She looked back at him. "I should've been more responsible, not so impulsive. Thought about consequences."

She frowned then and shook her head. "No. You're not taking this all on yourself, Chip." She slipped her hand from his and reached up to push the hair back off his forehead. "We both made choices. Ones we felt like we were powerless to stop and ones we made willingly."

"Connie…."

She shook her head again. "Stop." She breathed in, then out. "I've had a lot of time to think about all this, to consider what I've done. Because it isn't all on you. _You_ did not do this by yourself. And _I_ could have put a stop to it. I've thought about it – you know that – for both our sakes. But here's the thing. We were meant to be together. I believe that with my whole heart. And no, it's not the ideal circumstance or situation. People can get hurt. Lives can get upended. People may talk about us one day, in unflattering ways." She smiled then. "But we belong together. That's the one thing I know for sure. And it may get harder before it gets easier. We may drift apart from each other for any number of reasons. But I believe that in the end we'll find each other, because I believe you are that person I was meant to find."

His emotions were all over the place, as he listened to her. He could feel the tears in his eyes and his heart felt like it was in his throat. He leaned towards her then and kissed her, a long, tender, lingering kiss. Then he let out a little bit of a laugh as he put his palm against her cheek. "I love you," he said.

She smiled again. "You're a good man, Chip. You love your kids and I respect that you want to be the best dad you can be for them." She lifted her shoulders, then let out a breath. "I feel a little bit like we're kind of like Rayna and Deacon in this situation."

He frowned. "How so?"

She shrugged. "Maybe in reverse. I mean, Rayna was married to Teddy for a lot of years, because it was a commitment she'd made and she wanted to honor it. And I think she would have, for as long as it took, if Teddy hadn't blundered so badly. And Deacon waited her out, _is_ waiting her out, because they're meant to be together. One day they will be. I believe that. Whether it's on the show or just in my mind." She laughed then and he smiled at her. "He's in her blood, just like she's in his. Nothing can change it. They've survived so much, all the things they've done to each other. We haven't done _that_ , of course, but we'll survive whatever we have to. I believe that. Don't you?"

He nodded. "I do." He felt a sense of relief flood through him then. "Thank you," he said, then kissed her, brushing her lips with his.

She put her hand against his face and brushed his cheek with her thumb. "I love you, Chip Esten. Always know that."

* * *

It had been a long day and a long night. Performing for the west coast feed meant they wrapped up just past midnight on set. He was sitting in his trailer, not ready to leave. He looked at his phone and saw that it was after one. He wasn't scheduled on set until the afternoon, so he'd have time to go home and get some sleep. Except that he wasn't sure he'd get much sleep.

He hoped the tension he'd been feeling that night hadn't shown on camera. When he walked down off their Bluebird set stage, he'd felt a range of emotions, not all of them about the actual filming itself. Filming live had been a risk and he hoped it had gone off well, for both him and Chris. The east coast feed had gone smoothly, but you never knew. He'd felt protective of his song, proud of it, and he'd wanted that to shine through. It had felt so personal, not unlike most of the rest of the songs he'd written and performed, and he wanted others to like it.

He'd felt tears in his eyes when he'd watched the scene between himself and Connie, the one where Rayna told Deacon she was choosing Luke. He was proud of the fact that the very real emotions they had felt when they'd filmed it had, in fact, translated onto the screen. He'd watched the quiver of her lip, knew that what she'd felt in that moment had rung true. He had carried that onto the set with him when he'd performed his song and he hoped those emotions had been evident for the viewers.

The other emotions he was feeling had everything to do with why he was still sitting in his trailer on set, unwilling to start the ride home. Taylor and Patty had not shown up until the west coast feed. Over time, Patty had become more and more obvious about her dislike not only for Connie, but even for the character she portrayed. He could tell she had been tipsy, if not outright drunk, that night. She seemed like a loose cannon and he wasn't quite sure what to do about it.

He'd been embarrassed that she'd shown up like that. His intention, when he'd left the set, was to go to Taylor and make sure she took Patty home, but he'd been waylaid, first by Marylynne Stella and the girls, then by Callie.

 _Callie smiled as she walked up to him. "Chip," she called out and then hugged him. "That was phenomenal. You looked great."_

 _He smiled back, anxious to get away, but not wanting to brush her off. "Thanks. I don't think I've been as nervous on a real stage as I was tonight." He laughed a little._

" _Well, it was a risk, I know, but I think it paid off. Thanks for being willing to do it." She patted his arm. "I hope you don't have an early call tomorrow."_

 _He shook his head. "Nah. I think they cut me a break on that."_

" _Well, have a good evening then. Great job."_

 _As soon as she turned away, he hurried over to Taylor and Patty. Patty was scowling and looked a little unsteady. "Hey, what did you think?" he asked, putting on a fake smile and trying to be upbeat, when he felt anything but._

 _Patty turned away and didn't speak to him. Taylor had hold of her arm, but gave him a sympathetic look. "You sounded great, Dad," she said. "I'm sorry we were late, but I'm sure the first time was just as great." She smiled._

 _Patty looked at him then and he could see her eyes looked just a little unfocused. "I just couldn't listen to it twice," she said, her words slurring just a bit. "I'm sure_ _she_ _appreciated it though."_

 _He breathed in. Usually she didn't tip her hand in front of any of the kids, so he was a little surprised. He clenched his jaw. He knew that, in fact, Connie_ _had_ _appreciated it, because she'd texted him after the episode aired and told him she was proud of him. But he didn't want to get into a tiff with Patty, especially not here, and especially not in front of their daughter. He looked at Taylor, who seemed a little uncomfortable. "You wanna get her home?" he asked quietly._

 _She nodded. "Are you coming now?"_

 _He screwed up his face. "I need to get out of all this" – he motioned to his clothes – "and then I'll be there."_

" _You stopping somewhere?" Patty asked._

 _He closed his eyes for a second, then looked at Taylor. "Look, it's late. Y'all should get on the road. I won't be too much behind you." He paused. "I don't have anywhere else I need to be."_

He'd known what Patty was implying, but even if he'd wanted to stop by Connie's, it was much too late. She had an early call time anyway. He contemplated just spending the night in his trailer, but it really wasn't equipped for that, plus he didn't want to add any more fuel to the fire. He knew he needed to figure out a way to calm the waters, not give her extra reasons to blow up. The timing wasn't right to just walk away and, seeing as how that was the case, he needed to find a way for them to peacefully co-exist.

He sighed, thinking he really needed to call it a night. He stood up, sliding his phone in his pocket. He picked up his keys and headed out to his car.

* * *

She was sitting against the wall in his trailer, her feet in his lap. He was rubbing them almost absentmindedly. She was wearing the flannel shirt he'd had on for a scene that morning and he'd changed into a long-sleeved Henley. She had her glasses on and the script in front of her face, as she chewed on her thumbnail. They had gotten the script for the episode after Rayna had called off the wedding that day and had been poring over it.

"Okay," she said. "This scene at Deacon's house. That's so important, I think." She lowered the script and looked at him.

He had thought it was a perfectly written scene. "I agree. I think it's huge that she acknowledges that she loves him but that she didn't choose him because she was afraid."

She nodded. "And in the end, she needed to tell him he was right, that she'd loved him all along. That it was part of what she had realized about herself." She sat forward a little bit. "The whole thing she said to Luke, that it's Deacon, but it's not Deacon…."

"She's admitted to herself that that's the life she always wanted, she's owning the fact that she denied herself – and him – for something she thought she should want."

"Yes, that's it exactly. She broke up with Luke to be with him. At some point. I think it's important that they take some time." She smiled a little. "I know he thinks he doesn't _have_ time, but I love that he gives it to her anyway. It really shows what his feelings are for her."

"I think he sort of knew how she felt, but he needed her to tell him."

She sighed. "She's always been the one to push him away, put the brakes on, create boundaries, and I think it's just so, I don't know, so revelatory for her to actually just own it, acknowledge that this man has been in her heart all along."

"But she still needs time."

She nodded. "She still needs time. She needs to find the rest of herself, get her girls back, just be in herself for a bit. She's never really been on her own. She went from her daddy to Deacon to Teddy to Luke and she needs to really kind of take a minute." She frowned a little. "I think she's telling him she's coming back to him, but just not right out of the gate. And that she wants him to wait for her a little longer."

"And he's just hoping, somehow, that it doesn't take too long."

She looked at him thoughtfully. "I kind of wonder what she'd do, if she knew Deacon had cancer."

He breathed in. "Probably just stay with him. And maybe that isn't the best thing. For either of them."

"Yeah. He needs to figure out his situation too." She sat back. "Such a lot of emotion in that scene. I'm gonna fight for it, to stay just as it is."

He nodded. "I'm with you on that."

She looked thoughtful. "The one thing that's always kind of surprised me about their relationship was the fact that they met when she was sixteen – so young! – and that it was a love that lasted a lifetime, even if she didn't always want to acknowledge that. I mean, that's so unusual, don't you think?"

He considered that. He hadn't been a lot older than Deacon would have been when he met Patty. The girl he thought he'd love for the rest of his life. That hadn't been the case, of course, and it made him wonder about the wisdom of people at the age Deacon and Rayna would have been when they met and fell in love, to truly believe they'd met their soulmate then. He nodded. "I think it _is_ unusual. You hardly know yourself when you're that age, much less know this is someone you can love forever. There comes a time when you think about what you missed, what you didn't have, or don't have."

"I guess it _could_ happen. Clearly it _did_ happen for them. I mean, I believe it. And she's had other men, now, and she still knows Deacon's the only man for her, that he's the only one who completes her, to use a horrible cliché."

He smiled. "I bet Deacon had other women before her – girls, really. And clearly he spent time with other women all along the way. I mean, he had one and done's, right?" She nodded and smiled. "But she was the one he kept coming back to, couldn't ever leave. He figured out how to live in her orbit for all those years while she was married, as close to her as anyone could be, just waiting for her." He could see what she was thinking, because he was thinking it too. It was essentially what _they_ were doing, or maybe more accurately, what _she_ was doing. Waiting for him.

She sat up then and slid her feet down over his legs. He took her hand and pulled her closer, as she let the script fall to the floor. She put her hands on his face and he slid his arms around her waist, pulling her in for a kiss. When she finally pulled back from him, she smiled. "The only thing I kind of wish is that she would kiss him, but I really think that would undo her. Undo them both."

He smiled back and nodded. "I think so too." He ran one hand up her back. "I'm just glad I don't have to refrain from kissing _you_."

She laughed. "Me too." Then she leaned in and kissed him again, long and slow.

* * *

Patty found him sitting in the sunroom, practicing. He had worked out a set list and was practicing a song from the show he hadn't done in a while. He was excited about the opportunity to do his own show, especially in his hometown. The Birchmere was a prime venue and he was looking forward to performing there. He'd gone to his share of shows there when he was growing up, so it was a thrill to be back and actually on the stage. He looked up when she walked in. She reached for the set list and glanced over it, then looked back at him. "This is what you're doing?" she asked, sounding irritated.

He clenched his jaw. "Yes," he said.

She huffed. "Seems very weighted towards _her_."

He was really tired of the passive aggressive way she dealt with this. He frowned. "I'm doing songs the fans like."

"Then do them without all the commentary."

He knew how much she hated when he made references to a song being for Rayna. Just like she didn't like him talking about Connie, when he talked about the show. He considered that, in some cases, he almost did in on purpose. But he knew that a lot of those who came to hear him perform did so because of the character on the show and so he felt like it was only right to give them what they wanted to hear. And to talk about the context. He sat back, setting his guitar to the side. "No, Patty, I'm not gonna do that," he said. "I know you don't like it and I know _why_ you don't like it" – she turned her head and looked away – "but I'm performing for the people who pay to come see me, not to make you happy."

She turned back to look at him, her mouth turned down and her eyes flashing with anger. "That's very obvious," she said. "But you end up making yourself look foolish."

He looked at her. "Do I? Because I actually kinda think they like it." She turned away again. "Look, you can schedule whatever you want and you can stand on the side stage and watch me or not, but you aren't going to edit my playlist. Because I'll do what I want anyway."

She breathed in, still not looking at him. "Well, that's true," she said. "You definitely do what you want." Then she turned and walked briskly back into the house.

He sighed, tired of the dance she never seemed to want to finish. Then he picked up his guitar and started where he'd left off.

* * *

The house was filled with people that night, family as well as neighbors and friends, kind of a pre-Thanksgiving get together. He noticed that Patty kept mostly to herself and it seemed to him she was drinking a lot. He kept an eye on her, not wanting her to get maudlin or weepy or, conversely, get angry. He noticed his sister crossing the room to where Patty was, gently taking the glass and steering her out on the porch for a bit. He could see them talking and wondered what that was about. He didn't think Patty would share her suspicions, but he couldn't be sure. Just then one of his mom's neighbors came over and started talking to him about his songwriting, and he had to put that out of his head.

Later that night, when they went upstairs, he got in bed first. One thing he'd never done was to move into another room. Only occasionally did Patty try to put a move on him and that was usually only when she had been drinking. But lately she hadn't even done it then and he was sure it was because she had her suspicions about him and Connie.

He had turned out the lights while she was still in the bathroom. The bed was a queen, rather than the king bed they had at home, and he always felt like he was clinging to the edge of his side, which often made for an uncomfortable night. He heard her come out of the bathroom and then felt her get into the bed. Instead of laying on her side of the bed, this time she slid in and put her hand on his arm, then rubbed his shoulder. She leaned in and tried to kiss his neck and he pushed her away.

He sat up. "What are you doing?" he asked. She hadn't tried this in a while and he knew it would end up the same way it always did, with her crying and him on the living room couch.

She tried to put her hand on his chest. "Chip, please," she said, her words slightly slurred. He pushed her hand away and then her face got hard with anger. "Your morals are so misplaced," she said, her voice low and lethal.

"Be careful," he said, raising one eyebrow.

Her emotions were all over the map. Her face seemed to fall then and tears filled her eyes. "There has to still be something there," she said, her voice quivering a little. "You're still around. That has to mean something, right?" She reached out for him and he slid off the bed. He wasn't totally coldhearted, so he did feel bad that he had to push her away. But, misplaced or not, his loyalty was with Connie and he didn't want to muddy those waters. It wasn't fair to anyone.

"Patty…."

She spread her arms out to the side. "What are we now? Why are you even here?"

He closed his eyes for a second. There were times like these when he wanted to rip the band aid off and just go for broke. It would be messy and there were no guarantees about anything, but that's when he'd think about what Connie had said about them always finding each other, that he needed to stay his course because it was the right thing to do, and he'd focus on that. "We're Taylor, Chase, and Addie's parents," he said. "We made that a priority, years ago. I promised to honor that." He needed space. "Look, I'm gonna sleep on the couch."

She shook her head. "No, please don't," she begged. He hated when she begged.

He shook his head, waving his hands in front of him. "I can't do this tonight," he said, trying not to be harsh with her. "You need to get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow." He knew they wouldn't – she'd close herself off – but that usually made her back off.

It did again. She seemed to slump down onto the bed. "Okay," she said, her voice soft.

He pulled on his jeans and then walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He padded down to the den and curled up on the couch, pulling a couch pillow under his head and the William & Mary blanket his mom always draped across the back around him. He knew he wouldn't sleep well, but it was better to let Patty sleep it off by herself.

* * *

At some point, in the middle of the night, when he was half in, half out of sleep, he heard soft footsteps. He could tell that the person was standing inside the den, not right by the bed, but close enough. He was sure it was Patty, so he pretended to be sound asleep. He held his breath until he heard the footsteps go back where they'd come from and then he finally breathed out slowly.

* * *

The next morning he was standing in the kitchen by the coffeemaker. His mom came in, all dressed for the day. He smiled at her. "Hey, Mom," he said, pouring a mug of coffee. "Coffee?"

She gave him a half smile. "Sure." He poured her a mug and handed it to her. "Why don't you ride to the grocery store with me?" she asked.

He looked down. "I need to get a shower."

She shook her head. "You don't have to get out. I'd just like the company."

That seemed odd to him, but he shrugged. "Okay."

"Let's go then." She reached in the cabinet for a travel mug and poured her coffee in it. Then she picked up her purse and keys and looked at him. "You ready?"

He frowned. "Yeah, I guess." He went and got his jacket and pulled it on, then picked his mug back up and followed her out to the car.

* * *

He didn't think they were really going to the grocery store, after they'd driven for a few miles. She'd been silent up to that point, but then she looked over at him. "What's going on?" she asked.

He looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"Patty's always in a bad mood these days. She's drinking more than I've seen her drink in the past. The two of you don't seem in sync." She looked at him sharply. "You slept in the den last night." He swallowed but said nothing. "I saw you." So it was her, not Patty. "What's going on, Chip?"

He shrugged. "Nothing."

"I don't think it's nothing."

He breathed in slowly, then turned to look at her. "Well, it's not something I'm going to talk about with you."

"Think about your kids."

"I always do." He stared out the front windshield, not wanting to have this conversation with his mother, of all people. She was sharp and he had no idea if she'd figured it out. Or if Patty had confided in her. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the headrest. He wasn't sure this was all worth it.

He opened his eyes again, staring at the road ahead of them. He wished he could talk to Connie.


	30. Chapter 30

Thanksgiving night, when he came out of the bathroom after his shower, he was surprised to see Patty sitting in the middle of the bed, her legs crossed in front of her. He rubbed his hair with the towel, waiting to hear what she wanted to say. She fidgeted with her fingers in her lap, then took a deep breath. "Will you sit?" she asked. She didn't seem angry or tense. He hesitated just a moment, then sat on the end of the bed facing her. She picked at the edge of her sweater. "I thought about what you said the other night."

He frowned. "What was that?"

She breathed in and out. "When you said we were the kids' parents." She picked at her sweater some more. "You're right, we are. But we're more than that." He waited, unsure where she was going with this. "We're _partners_ , Chip. Maybe not exactly the way we thought we'd be, but we are." He just watched her. "We all came to Nashville to support you in your dream. Remember how I told you, when you got this job, that if you'd written a letter with your perfect job, this would have been it?"

He nodded. "I _do_ remember."

"You're getting to do what you always wanted to do. You're in a lead role on a show. You get to play music on the show and in real life. You're writing songs and you're even touring and doing appearances like a real artist would." She took a deep breath. "I still want to help you do that. I still want to be your partner in that. We've been on a long journey together and I want to see it through."

He was taken by surprise and wasn't sure exactly what to say. He rubbed his face with his hands. "I appreciate that," he said finally.

She looked down at her hands. "I will keep doing that, if you'll do one thing for me."

 _Here it is._ He wondered what her demand would be. "What's that?"

She looked up at him, her eyes set firmly on him. "Just don't embarrass me. Don't embarrass us. We should at least _act_ like a married couple, even if it's just for the cameras. Give me that much."

He breathed in. "I feel like I _have_ done that," he said.

She tilted her head slightly, an odd look on her face. "Do better. You're an actor. A pretty damn good one too." Her gaze was level.

He swallowed. "Okay," he said.

She breathed out, as though she'd been holding her breath. "Thank you," she said softly and then she uncrossed her legs and slid off the bed. She walked towards the door and then left the room, without another look back.

He walked back into the bathroom. While he was brushing his teeth, he thought about what she'd said. He wondered, often, if it was the right thing to do to let things stay as they were. He wanted to give his kids what he hadn't had, which was a full time dad, but was that a good enough reason to stay in a situation where he wasn't happy. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and felt like he could see the sadness rimming his eyes and wondered if it was obvious to everyone else.

It was a strange situation to be in. He'd gone for years not really being happy, but not being so unhappy that it required that a change be made. He felt like it was the same for Patty. But things _had_ changed, for him, anyway. He rinsed off his toothbrush and then rinsed out his mouth, spitting the water back into the sink. He raised his head back up and looked at himself again as he wiped his mouth. _Am I doing the right thing? If I stay, will we both end up so miserable that we hate each other? Will it create a division with the kids? Or will we just hurt the kids more by pretending?_

He breathed in, then rubbed his face with his hands. What seemed like it should be a reasonably easy decision – end the marriage so that both of them could be free to move on – didn't seem as easy when he thought it through. It all came back to the kids and the kind of father he wanted to be. Breaking up a marriage wouldn't be easy. He'd seen it firsthand. He'd been young when his parents divorced and they had seemed to have an amicable relationship afterwards. But he had always felt the loss of that daily relationship with his dad and he knew that was what kept him from leaving.

He also knew Connie might not wait forever. Or something could change that broke them apart. The show might not get renewed or his character could end up not surviving cancer. He didn't think that would happen, but you never knew for sure. It just felt like people would get hurt, no matter what, and he felt like he needed to be the one who had to make a sacrifice for the greater good.

He just hoped it would all be worth it in the end.

* * *

He was just walking to the set when his phone buzzed. He looked at it and smiled. "Hey there," he said, stopping where he was.

"Hey, yourself. What's your day like today?"

"Scenes with Clare."

"How late are you there?"

He screwed up his face as he tried to remember. "Three, maybe? Four?"

"Well, I've been missing you something awful," she said, the hint of laughter in her voice. "I was hoping you might have some time to stop by."

He grinned. "I might could do that."

She chuckled. "Would it help if I told you Yoby has a playdate this afternoon and won't be home until seven?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I think that just sealed the deal, my dear."

* * *

He pressed down on the accelerator, inching above the speed limit as he drove down I-65. He kept his eyes open for cops, just in case, but he was anxious to get to Connie's house. They still weren't filming anything together, which was frustrating. He'd had big hopes that, when they broke up Luke and Rayna, that Deacon would have his chance, but they'd still thrown roadblocks between them. The cancer storyline was an interesting story to tell, one that hit close to home for him, so he wanted to do it justice. But what he really wanted was scenes with Connie.

He finally got to the Harding Place exit and headed off the interstate and towards the lake area. It was a beautiful area, older than the area where he lived, with lots of mature trees and beautiful old homes. He turned down the street to Connie's house and then into the driveway. It was one of those cold early December days and when he got out of the car, the chilly wind chapped his face. He squinted up at the sky, which was a bright white, no sun to break through the high, thin clouds. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket and jogged down the walkway and up the steps. He reached out and knocked on the door, then put his hand back in his pocket. He bounced a little as he felt the wind pierce his jacket.

The door opened and she was standing there, a smile on her face. She had on an oversized sweatshirt and yoga pants, her feet bare. "Hey," she said. "You must have made sure you killed it today." He stepped into the foyer and she pushed the door closed behind him. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She put her hands on the back of his neck and pulled him in close. When he let her go, she shivered just a little. "You feel cold."

He smiled. "It is kinda nippy out there."

She slid her arm through his and led them towards the den. "Well, let me warm you up then," she said, with a happy smile. There was a fire in the fireplace and, while it was gas and didn't really give off much in the way of heat, it made the room feel warm and cozy. He shrugged off his jacket and draped it over the arm of the couch. She took his still cool hand in her warm one and pulled him down onto the couch. She settled in with her back to him, curled into his side, and he put his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek. She rested her hand on his thigh. "I'm so glad you're here," she murmured.

He kissed her cheek again. "Me too," he said. "I've been missing you too." He leaned his head against hers and glanced around the room. She'd had decorated for Christmas. The lights were on the Christmas tree were twinkling merrily and there were a few presents already strewn underneath it. It reminded him that he needed to pick up something for her and Yoby. "You staying here for Christmas?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, we'll head to LA a few days before, but Yoby's old enough now to understand Christmas, so I wanted to have something here." She rubbed his leg. "I want to have traditions for him, like I had." She let her fingers gently massage his thigh. "What did you do, for your kids?" she asked softly.

He thought about that for a moment. "When they were little, we always waited until Christmas Day when they got their Santa stuff. And then we'd make breakfast and just hang out all day in pajamas." He smiled at the memory. "When they got older, probably less of that. They sleep in now and it's not the same."

She turned in his arms and smiled up at him. "That's what I remember too. Just being in pj's all day, playing with whatever we got." She reached up and ran the back of her fingers over his cheek. "I want to take you to bed."

He grinned. "Thought you'd never ask," he said, and she got up from the couch, pulling him up by the hand.

* * *

She led him into her bedroom and then turned to face him. "I want to undress you," she said, a little shyly. He loved for her to take charge and he also loved that she always seemed a little bashful about it.

He held his arms out and smiled. "I'd love for you to undress me," he said.

She took a step towards him, then bit down on her lip as she unbuttoned his shirt. She pushed it back to expose his chest, then leaned in and kissed him. She straightened up and slid the shirt back and down his arms, letting it fall behind him. She put her palms flat against his abs and smiled. "I hope they give you some shirt off scenes soon," she said and he laughed.

"Only if they're with you."

She smiled and then focused on removing his belt. When she had it unbuckled, she stepped back and slid the belt slowly out of the belt loops and then tossed it aside. She pointed towards the bed. "You'll need to sit so I can take off your boots." He did as she told him and she kneeled down, pulling off his boots one at a time. Then she pulled off his socks, tossing them aside. She reached for his hand to pull him back up to a standing position and then she unzipped his jeans. She pushed them down along with his boxers until they were on the floor and he stepped out of them.

She stepped back and then looked him up and down, smiling, with a teasing look in her eyes. She ran her tongue over her bottom lip and he smirked. "You like what you see?" he asked. They hadn't been together since before Thanksgiving and he was so hard it almost hurt.

She bit her lip and nodded. "Mm hm," she murmured. Then she reached for the bottom of her sweatshirt and pulled it up and over her head and he saw she wasn't wearing a bra. He groaned softly at the sight of her gorgeous breasts.

He pulled her into his arms then and kissed her hard. He ran his hands down to her hips, pushing at her yoga pants, desperate to be inside her. "I can't wait," he murmured against her mouth, pulling her down onto the bed with him. He quickly pulled the yoga pants off and then pushed her legs open. She looked up at him, her eyelashes fluttering. He could see her chest move as her breathing quickened. He entered her quickly and she moaned. He moved inside her, feeling how tight she was around him and how warm and wet she was, and that caused him to pick up his pace. She wrapped her legs around him, lifting herself up against him, in tune with his rhythm.

"Oh, God, Chip," she cried out, as she tightened her legs around him. "Oh, my God!" Then he shouted out her name and felt the sweet release as he came inside her. As she usually did, she held him tight inside her as they let their breathing go back to normal. She looked deep into his eyes. "That was not nearly long enough," she whispered and then she grinned.

He rolled off of her and then pulled her into his arms, kissing her. "You're right, it wasn't," he said. He pushed her hair off his face. He kissed her again. "We'll just have to do something about that, won't we?" She laughed and then leaned in to kiss him, letting her lips linger on his.

* * *

He held her close, her head tucked under his chin. She had one arm around his waist and one leg draped across his. As much as he loved making love to her, as they just had, slow and easy, the way she liked best, he also loved just holding her close. iI wasn't that he'd never held a woman close, of course, but there was something about it being her that made it different. They didn't have to make love, they just had to be together, and he felt a sense of home, a sense of peace.

"I hate to do this, but…."

She sighed. "I know. You need to leave." She rolled onto her stomach and looked at him, laying her palm on his chest. "I wish…." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I don't even want to say it out loud," she said, her voice low and soft.

He reached out and took a strand of her hair between his thumb and index finger, twisting it slightly. It was hard to make promises, even though he wanted to. Their lives were controlled by things like ratings and production costs and storyline decisions. In his head, he'd already calculated what he needed. _Six years. I need six years total._ At the end of six years, Addie would going off to college and he would feel better about walking away. But what if the show got cancelled? They had been the last major network show to be renewed, so this season felt like a gift. What if there were no more gifts? He didn't want to think like that. He needed less than three years now to get to the six. "We just take every day as it comes," he said.

She looked back at him. "Yeah." She slid away from him and got out of bed, slipping on the robe she kept on a chair. She turned back, tying the sash around her waist. "I try not to think farther ahead than the moment." He knew not to get too deep into timelines. She got twitchy when the conversation turned to how long the show might last. He knew she liked to stretch herself professionally and she had, at times, felt constrained not only by her role but by the length of the seasons.

He sat up, then turned and put his feet on the floor and stood. He walked around, gathering up his clothes, then got dressed. He sat back on the bed to pull on his socks and boots. By then she'd walked around the bed and sat down next to him. He looked at her, then took her hand. "I love you. Know that."

She smiled, then leaned in and kissed him. "I do. I love you too." He let go of her hand then and stood up. She got up as well and they walked out of the room.

* * *

He wasn't filming the day the script arrived for episode 15. It was called 'That's the Way Love Goes', a song he knew was a Merle Haggard song. He took a deep breath. Callie wrote it, so he was optimistic. He'd had a conversation with her not even a week earlier about his future. She had reassured him that Deacon wasn't dying and it let him breathe a sigh of relief. But he still wondered about Deacon and Rayna's future. He and Connie hadn't had even a single scene together in four episodes. He poured himself a cup of coffee and took the script into the den. He sat down and just looked at it for a moment, then finally opened it up.

The first time through he always just looked for his scenes. He had a scene with Maddie. He kept going. He smiled when he saw the phone call between Deacon and Rayna. Then a long scene with Scarlett. And then, finally, a scene with Connie. They didn't have any dialogue together, but it was hopefully the beginning of something. There would be scenes onstage at the Opry, then finally, about 2/3 of the way through, there it was. Their first scene since the episode where Rayna called off the wedding. They had a song together too. He kept going and found the final scene between them, where Rayna found Deacon at the cabin and he finally told her about his cancer.

He sat back and smiled to himself. Hopefully it signaled the renewal of that relationship, although it looked as though it was at least one more episode away. Just then his phone buzzed and he was sure, before he even looked at it, that it was her. "Hey. You got the script?"

* * *

They were filming at the Opry and so they were sitting in the 'It Takes Two' dressing room, the one reserved for duos. He shut the door against the noise from outside, as the crew got things set up. They would be filming all day plus most of the next, for Rayna's ten year Opry induction anniversary. He sat in one of the club chairs, across from the couch where she was sitting. He thought she looked so pretty, her hair in soft waves around her face, the scarf around her neck. "So when do you think she decides?" he asked, and she furrowed her brow slightly. "You know, that she's ready."

Her face smoothed out into a smile. "Oh, that she's taken all the time she needs?" He nodded. "I really sorta think it's after she has that conversation with Maddie and she decides to invite him to the Opry. I mean, she's been putting it off, and he's been giving her that space…."

"Well, I don't think he's really giving her that space as much as he's avoiding having to tell her what's going on with him."

She gave him an acknowledging look. "You're right. I think it's probably enough that he's let Maddie back into his life – and that's hard enough – but it's a whole different ballgame once he has to tell Rayna." She looked thoughtful. "So I wonder what changed his mind? I mean, he wasn't gonna go. So what changed?"

He loved this interplay between them, feeling out the emotions of their characters, bringing in backstory that wasn't necessarily in the episode, but gave them a sense of how they wanted to play it. It often made a difference for him in terms of a look or just the way he might say something, and he knew it did for her as well. "That conversation with Scarlett. When he realizes he can't put it all on her anymore. But I don't know if he thinks, even then, that he's gonna tell Rayna, but I do think he knows he can't avoid her forever and something's gonna have to give." He breathed in. "Plus, you know, it's _Rayna_. He's drawn to her, like a moth to a flame, always has been, probably always will be."

"I know we don't know yet exactly how that conversation's going to go after she confronts him at the cabin and he does finally tell her, but I think her inviting him to the Opry, not knowing all of that, is her realization that what she's said all along is the truth. That Deacon and the music are the same. She can't separate them, never has been able to really, and it's truly who she is as a person. That was what the time away was all about, to get back to who she really is."

He pushed up from the chair and crossed over to where she sat. He put his hands on either side of her face and gently kissed her on the forehead, both because she was already hair and makeup ready, but also because anyone could walk in on them. Then he looked into her eyes as she gazed up at him. "I love this and I love you," he said softly.

She gripped his wrists and squeezed gently, smiling up at him. "I do too."

He stood up and held his hand out. "Should we go out and join everyone else?"

She nodded. "Yes, I think we should," she said, taking his hand and letting him pull her up from the couch. She raised her shoulders up and smiled happily. "Let's go get Rayna and Deacon back together."

* * *

Everything had been leading up to these filming days at the river house. For the first time in the three and a half years of the series, he and Connie had every single scene together. Neither one had scenes with anyone else that didn't include them, all but the final scene they had in the episode being just the two of them, as Deacon and Rayna worked through the revelation of Deacon's cancer and Rayna's stubborn insistence that they navigate that together.

Filming at the river house, like other venues such as the Opry, typically took place in a concentrated timeframe. At the river house, the crew had to remove furniture from the great room and the porch to re-set it for Deacon's cabin. Because it was a tourist rental property, it was important that they be mindful of time constraints, so there would be a lot of work and filming done in the two days they would be there.

As he drove over, he thought about that night. When they were finished filming, he had a room booked for them. He couldn't wait to spend a whole night with her.

* * *

He leaned back against the headrest and closed his eyes, waiting to hear from her. He felt anxious. Not in a bad way, but in kind of a raring to go way. They had never had the opportunity to do this before, to essentially live out a scene in the place where they filmed it. There had, of course, been times when their emotions during filming had been real. Most recently, the scene where Rayna told Deacon she'd chosen Luke had sparked real emotions. But this would be different.

He opened his eyes, taking in the darkness of the sky. It was hard to believe the river house, that doubled as Deacon's cabin, was so close to town. It was a little more than a half mile from where he sat. He and Connie had been excited about this episode, for a lot of reasons. One was that their characters were finally getting together, but also, every single scene they were in together. It was the first time in the three and a half years they'd been together that they had gotten this chance.

His phone buzzed and he looked down. _Coast is clear._ He breathed in, feeling his heart beating a little faster, smiling a little in spite of himself. _On my way_ , he tapped into his phone. Then he started the car and eased out of the parking lot and back onto the road.

* * *

He parked his car next to hers and hurried down the porch to the sliding doors. She was waiting for him, a big smile on her face. He opened the door and then closed it behind him. She held up a key. "I just have to put the key in this special hiding place by the front door and make sure the back door is locked," she said, nodding at the sliding doors behind him.

"Okay," he said, not really wanting to spend time talking. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. "So what did you have in mind?"

She looked practically giddy as she draped her arms around his neck. "Let's do the scene. But, you know, go all in with it." She winked. "Just to see how it would feel for Deacon and Rayna."

He smiled. "I like how you think." He was already aroused just thinking about it and he was sure she was too. They quickly undressed and, as she stood in front of him, he didn't want to wait. He reached for her and kissed her, pressing her against him so she could feel just how ready he was for her and how much he wanted her.

She reached between them and ran her fingers over him. "I need this all up inside me," she whispered against his lips. "Like right now."

He bit the inside of his mouth as he let himself shut out everything except how her fingers felt on him. He groaned in the back of his throat. Then he pulled her down onto the floor. He crossed his legs and pulled her towards him. She positioned herself on his lap, her hands on his shoulders. He pressed the palms of his hands against her ass and entered her slowly, watching her face as she took him in. She had that look of pure bliss, a tiny smile playing on her lips, and her eyelids lowered slightly. She made little moaning noises and wrapped her legs around his back.

He gave one final thrust and he was all the way inside her. She arched her back slightly, shifting herself tight against him. "Oh, my God, Chip, this feels so good," she whispered. She moved her hips in rhythm with his movement inside her. She arched her back a little more and he slid his hands to her hips, speeding up her rhythm a bit. She opened her eyes then and shook her head. "I want to enjoy this as long as we can," she whispered.

He captured her lips with his, letting the kiss set the pace, slowing things down a bit. He could tell she wanted it to be romantic and special, and because he would do anything for her – _anything_ – he let her guide them. She slid her hands from his neck so that they were on his face, her fingers threaded into the hair along his temples. He kept his hands on her hips, but let her move with her own rhythm. He found himself falling deeper and deeper into the feel of her around him. Before long, he felt like he could do this forever.

She finally pulled her lips from his and looked deeply into his eyes. Her lips were a little puffy from kissing and slightly parted. He pressed her gently against him and she tightened up around him. "Oh," she breathed out. Then she threw her head back and tightened her legs around him as he felt her start to come. "Oh, God, Chip," she murmured over and over until finally she tensed up, her mouth against his shoulder, and he let himself go as well, his hand fisting her hair, moaning into her ear.

They held each other tightly and, when he felt her shiver, he reached over and pulled the blanket from the couch, the same one they'd been wrapped up in not so long ago, and pulled it around her. He smiled and kissed her again. "That was pretty amazing," he said.

She nodded, then kissed him. "It's always amazing with you, but this was kind of extra special." She looked around the room and then laughed softly. "It's like we broke through the fourth wall, you know?" He nodded. She looked back at him, a dreamy look on her face. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, baby. More than you know." He helped her up off the floor then and then they curled up together on the couch, eventually falling asleep in each other's arms.

 _A/N: So this story has come full circle to where it started. This is the natural end, based on the beginning, but I do have ideas for the rest of their story and several reviewers have said they'd like to see more. So my question is – would you like to see more?_


	31. Chapter 31

_I thought I'd give you a little teaser for the next story. This is all I have so far, but will work on posting a full chapter over the weekend._

 **Dreams Don't Come Easy**

He woke up with a start. Connie was tucked into his side, her head on his shoulder, breathing softly against his skin. It was dark and, for a moment, he wasn't sure where he was. As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he looked around and realized they were at the river house. He grabbed his phone from the coffee table next to them and saw that it was 2:45. He closed his eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief. Not as late as he'd thought. But they couldn't stay here all night, as nice as the thought of that would be.

"Connie," he whispered. She made a little noise, but didn't move. "Connie," he said, a little louder. She opened her eyes and lifted her head, looking confused. "Baby, we've gotta go."

She sat up then, pulling the blanket with her. "Oh, God, Chip, what time is it?"

He sat up too and turned to put his feet on the floor. "Almost 3:00," he said. "Let's go. We can still check in and get a little more sleep."

They both got up and hastily got dressed. Connie raked her fingers through her hair furiously, trying to put it into some semblance of order. She looked at him and chuckled, then walked over and ran her fingers through his hair as well. "You had a very bad case of bed head, sweetie," she said, with a grin.

He smiled and kissed her. "You can follow me," he said, taking her hand. They started for the sliding doors and then she pulled back.

"Oh, wait, we need to go out the front door, so I can leave the key." He had forgotten that, turned and headed for the front of the house. They walked out and, using the light from his phone, she locked the door and put the key in the compartment. Then they walked around to their cars and she followed him to the hotel.

* * *

She was waiting at the elevator bank when he hustled down from the front desk with his key. She looked as exhausted as he felt and she leaned against him as they rode up to the fourth floor. They headed down the hall to the room and he opened the door. There was a king size bed and they both headed for it, stripping down to their underwear and crawling under the covers. He set his phone alarm for 6:30 and then turned out the light. She rolled towards him and he pulled her into his arms and they both fell asleep almost instantly.


End file.
